The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. I'VE FINALLY MASTERED IT!

THE ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE TO DEAL WITH BEASTS OF ANY RANK!

THIS IS WHAT HAPPEN WHEN I GET CORNERED!

SURVIVE, ADAPT, OVERCOME!

I AM FINALLY READY TO HEAD OUT THERE!

Why?

Because I have finally mastered the art of barbecue!!!!

It took me a month of intense dedicated training, but I did it!

Ok I still can't start a fire for the life of me.

Neither do I have the spices required.

But I'm finally able to grill some meat!

I'd like to thank my teacher for patiently showing me the ropes.

I'd like to thank my taste tester Wolfie (the white wolf obviously).

I'd like to thank my parents for giving birth to a legend such as myself…not that I remember any parent.

I'd like to thank all the beasts that ended up as charcoal. Your sacrifice will be remembered!

I take a huge bite of the hot piping goodness I just produced.

Ah! Tastes like chicken!

It all tastes like chicken! Why?

Because that's the extent of my gourmet knowledge.

Chicken is good. This is good. Both are meat.

I should open a restaurant. I'm sure I'd get reviews like so:

-5 stars out of 5, the taste is godlike. The cook is hot as fuck! The assistant is fine too. Total DILF!

-5 stars, Best cook in the core of the savage archaic forest no doubt! I almost died reaching his stall, but it was worth it!

-5 stars! Best potential stay at home husband! Is sexy and can cook!

"So sectmaster I'm glad you finally managed to succeed, but how does this help us get out of here?"

HAHA. Can't even see how godly this knowledge is!

Of course, this …. doesn't help.

Why did I even bother learning that in the first place?

I can probably go a few days without eating thanks to the divine energy.

I can simply buy some food otherwise….

[Well you see I have my reasons.]

What were they again? ARG…

Talk about crushing my feelings of accomplishment in the bud.

Oh, I remember!

Wolfie!

That goddamn smug wolf! That's why I even bothered learning that!

I remember the sneer when I first failed.

I may be weak, but I have my pride!

Gods are underestimating me?

Fine, I'll tolerate it!

The whole Lunar sect is underestimating me?

Fine, just you wait!

This wolf is looking down on me?

Fuck I'll show you who's boss!

And I fucking did! Who's the one blissfully eating my cooking right now!

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I win!

Well it did take a month, but it was worth it. Could I have proceeded otherwise?

Obviously, I'm a proper functioning adult so I tried physical violence to get revenge at first.

Problem is this wolf is fast. Real fast.

Needless to say, I failed. If anything, Wolfie got excited about the chasing game. -_-

But that is all in the past.

I am a new man!

Ah I'm getting emotional!

I take the stance of an expert. You know. Trying to look as if I possess profound wisdom.

[You see this much is needed. What would I do after beating a beast king otherwise? Just let the meat rot on the ground? You can't be that wasteful my friend.]

"Sectmaster you intend to challenge a beast king?!"

[Well…it's just a possibility. It's better to be prepared for anything]

Yeah. How about no. Fuck no!

I'm just trying to find an excuse for my behavior in the past month. I can't really say I got pissed about the look an animal was giving me, can I? Ah. Life is hard!

Still what now? Hum let me see. The wolf pack is still out there. It seems as if they are guarding this area. In any case it doesn't really matter to me. They are blocking the way back to the Lunar Keep …but so what? I'm running away from that place anyway. ¯_( ツ )_/¯

Do I head out there alone or as a party?

Upside of going alone is I can scout easily, and I should be able to run away. Worst case I'll just heal myself.

Pro of a party I can use my fellow adventurer as a meat shield! Hum, but that would be pretty bad. I can already imagine the annals of the unnamed god sect. In year 1 the only follower got sacrificed by the sect leader. But at least the art of barbecue was mastered …at the beginner level! Woot!

Well only one way to decide.

[Do you have a coin?]

"Of course! Copper, silver, gold or …?"

[Any will do]

Weird symbol 1 I'm going alone. Weird symbol 2 I'm going as a party.

*FLIP*

Ah it fell on the side.

*FLIP*

No Wolfie you can't eat that! Fuck!

*FLIP*

Alone it is!

Ah this is so much effort. Where is a magical conch when you need it?

[Alright I'll be exploring the forest alone. You just wait for me here.]

"I'll follow you! Death doesn't scare me!"

[No, you have a task that is more important than that!]

"I'm listening sectmaster!"

[You'll hunt some game for us in the meantime and prepare dinner!]

"U-understood!"

[Perfect! Wolfie! You help with the hunting! No freeloader!]

No even if you tilt your head on the side and give me puppy eyes, I won't fall for it!

Not again!

[No hunting, no food!]

While Wolfie is weak it's a matter of principle.

Only ever handing out free stuff is how you spoil a kid!

Disobedient children …eh wolves don't get any delicious meat!

Anyway. Now is the time for an epic journey into uncharted lands!

Or so I'd like to say. This forest is obviously on every map there is because of its size.

[Bye-bye I'll be back later! Wolfie don't cause trouble! Listen well to the elder!]

And so I exit the perimeter of the safe zone.

Surprisingly it is very uneventful. If my divine sense didn't detect it I would assume there is nothing there. It doesn't look like anything. It doesn't feel like anything either.

When I remember how a certain rank 3 warrior was acting here…*chuckle*

Hum now that I think about it that is weird. Maybe he has some magical beast blood in his veins?

Don't get me wrong I'm not thinking bestiality. Well I wouldn't judge either way. But maybe some sort of magical art to steal power from an enemy or something.

Anyway, not that it matters.

Oh! What is that? The rank 4 giant black wolf is there?

Hum what does it want?

Somehow it doesn't seem hostile?

Weird…Oh wait there is that one time I gave it some food.

Maybe it wants some more?

[Hey there. I'll give you some food once I'm back if you want! I'm out to do some scouting!]

*Growl* *Nod*

Hum a low growl. But for some reason it doesn't seem menacing. Guess he understood me!

Seriously who is the dumbass that deigned this area a disaster zone?

Wait?! Could it be that my barbecue skill is really going to become useful here?!

I'M A GODDAMN GENIUS!