NOVEL NEXT chapter 5
5. Understanding is difficult
The time on the bus that seemed like it would never end is over.
I returned home as fast as I could, as if someone was chasing me from behind.
– Hey! Why are you running all of a sudden? Siwoo Lee!
While running, I ignored the voice coming from behind me.
If you think about it like this, it’s true that someone came after you.
Whether I ran or not, Han Seo-ah would have followed me in the end.
But how can you not jump?
I feel like I’m going crazy because my heart is beating just by being in the same room.
“Son? Are you here?”
“I’m tired today, so I’ll rest early.”
Leaving behind my mother’s voice welcoming me, I quickly passed through the living room and reached the bed in my room.
Push-
“······aaa.”
And then I fell face down on the bed.
Breakdown.
It was a word that could perfectly describe my current state.
Like furniture with one important screw missing.
Like electronic devices that do not turn on properly even after being charged.
Even though I did my best to regain as much stability as possible, the pounding didn’t stop.
As if something really went wrong.
As if it was broken so badly that it couldn’t be repaired.
I was feeling the beating of my heart as I was lying face down on the bed.
So, a question arose.
‘······Did you originally like Han Seo-ah?’
I wonder if I actually liked Seoah Han from the beginning.
I liked Seoah Han from the beginning, but maybe I was tricked by the familiarity and didn’t notice it.
A very absurd question, if not absurd.
First of all, this question itself was a question that I would never have thought of if it had been me until yesterday.
Yesterday. No, until this morning.
Because instead of feeling affection for Seoah Han, I was only feeling annoyed.
However, the situation from earlier was in direct denial of me.
My heart won’t beat like crazy just because I heard that I like someone I dislike based on common sense.
That wasn’t a reaction from someone who absolutely hated it.
It was a fact that even I, who had never been in a relationship in my 20 years of living, could know.
It seemed right to see it as the opposite.
It’s not that I hate Seo-ah Han, it’s that I like Seo-ah Han.
Why, you say that.
Being deceived by familiarity, you don’t know the importance.
Like that sentence that I don’t know who made it.
Maybe I’ve been with Han Seo-ah for so long that I’ve been fooled by familiarity and not noticed her affection.
“······I like Han Seo-ah?”
Of course, I couldn’t easily understand that fact.
That would be the case too, because it was me and Han Seo-ah who had been living like real siblings for too long.
I didn’t call real siblings real siblings for nothing.
We fight when we run into each other, and we fight even when a small incident occurs.
The definition of the word brother and sister in reality is that people fight much more than the number of times they eat.
But you say I like Han Seo-ah?
Han Seo-ah, who fought like that and behaved like a gangster?
“······Nonsense.”
It was hard to admit.
No, I didn’t want to admit it.
This was not a matter of simple understanding, but a matter of pride.
I also have a taste.
I also prefer nice and cute girls to girls who always fight…
– Don’t worry about things like that, just take care of your physical condition. Because it came out because of you in the first place.
– Of course it’s because I like you. Siwoo Lee, you idiot.
“····.”
Let’s spit out a sentence related to taste.
Immediately, the words and feelings of Hanseo that corresponded to that taste came to mind.
Even in that second sentence, I directly admitted it.
It’s cute.
I never thought I would feel cute from Han Seo-ah.
The situation from earlier that I had coolly admitted to was slowly resurrecting in my head.
“······Really?”
At this point, I couldn’t help but admit it.
The feelings I have for Han Seo-ah right now are absolutely not normal and ordinary feelings.
This feeling, which I can’t even guess when it started, is making Han Seo-ah, who has never felt it as a member of the opposite s*x, feel like a member of the opposite s*x.
-Siwoo only has to go out with me once and marry her.
And I know that I’m not the only one who has similar feelings.
The reason why the situation came this far in the first place was because of the unidentified sentence that appeared to Seo-ah Han.
That sentence. In other words, the situation wouldn’t have come this far if he hadn’t shown his inner feelings with Hanseo.
Perhaps today, as usual, he listened to the lecture without thinking and took the bus home without thinking.
It’s not that I’m nervous, feeling the heartbeat of each and every one of Han Seo-ah’s inner thoughts like before.
“Why did this suddenly happen?”
In a way, this could have been a bigger problem.
Why did such a lie happen to me, who was an ordinary person in the world?
Surely nothing happened until yesterday.
Why did this suddenly start happening this morning?
“I don’t know.”
I’ve been thinking about this, but I haven’t come up with any clues.
For some reason.
Or maybe it’s because of someone’s purpose.
I thought about it in many ways, but nothing came to mind.
Well, is it natural?
How can an ordinary person like me reveal the cause of such a natural disaster?
I was a really normal person.
Aside from the fact that he has one childhood friend he’s been close to since childhood, he’s the most ordinary person in the world.
My grades are so-so, and I can’t say that I’m very handsome.
Aside from knowing how to cook to some extent, there was nothing particularly special about it.
Rather, it was Han Seo-ah’s side that stood out, not mine.
Looks, grades, arts and sports, and even games.
Except for cooking, there was a person named Han Seo-ah who excelled in all fields.
“I’m not good at cooking.”
“Who? Me?”
“Then you or who else…”
······Wait.
Obviously I was alone in the room, but who the hell answered?
I suddenly felt goose bumps all over my body.
Should I say it feels like facing something like a ghost in a place where there is no light around and only a cold wind blows?
I tried hard to forcefully turn my head that wouldn’t turn.
After a long effort, I finally turned my head and found the owner of the voice.
“······Hanseo-ah?”
“Okay, say it again. What am I saying I can’t do?”
Han Seo-ah, who should have gone to her house next door, which is her own, was in my room before I knew it.
“No, wait. How did you get into my room?”
“It was open?”
“That’s not the problem.”
“Your mother greeted you as usual when you knocked as usual?”
“No, no. Why did you come to my house?”
“You abandoned me earlier and ran away alone. Of course I came to avenge that.”
[Of course, I just came because I wanted to see you. What am I going to do here?]
I couldn’t get used to that sentence, which is the exact opposite of what I say out of my mouth.
While spouting bloody words like revenge with your mouth, you’re saying lines like a shy girl on the inside.
I could see him as an amazing person in a different sense.
Han Seo-ah looked straight at me as if giving a warning and said.
“Anyway, this isn’t the point. So repeat what you just said.”
“······You can’t cook.”
“Ha, I can’t cook? Is it because I can’t remember what I cooked last time?”
“It can’t be.”
On the contrary, it’s a problem because I remember it too well.
I still can’t forget the taste of that horrible nightmare.
“Honestly, you admit it. You can’t cook.”
“······Isn’t it? Because I can cook well too?”
“Then, why don’t you set it up tomorrow morning. If you’re that confident, try it.”
“····.”
Even if he thought about it, Hanseo kept her mouth shut.
[Because Siwoo is good at cooking, I don’t have to be good at cooking. We’ll live together later anyway.]
Only Seoah Han’s shameless inner feelings were expressed in sentences to me.
Sticking out her tongue at that brazenness, I asked Han Seo-ah the real purpose of her visit.
“So, really, why did you come? You came for a reason.”
“······I told you. I came to avenge the fact that you abandoned me earlier.”
[No. I can never say that I came because I just wanted to see Siwoo. I might die of shame.]
Seoah Han’s inner feelings are still visible.
Looking at that thing over and over, it was clear that even the word revenge was meaningless.
If my hypothesis is correct, that sentence will disappear the moment Han Seo-ah stops telling lies.
Knowing this truth, a relaxed voice came out of my mouth.
“Well, so. What am I going to get my revenge on?”
“I haven’t thought about that yet.”
“You didn’t even think about what you were going to get revenge on, but you’re going to get revenge. You idiot.”
“······Now Siu Lee, did you call me an idiot?”
“So what would you do?”
What can you do?
What can you do in this situation?
He provoked Seo-ah Han with lines that seemed like he had heard them somewhere.
The effect of the provocation was much stronger than expected.
“I can’t. Do you still have a game console at home?”
“······Game machine?”
“Uh. I must play a game with you now.”
[Sorry, Siuya. No matter how much I like you, I don’t want to be called an idiot by you.]
Because Han Seo-ah’s inner heart, which had only shown favorable sentences to me until just now, revealed a negative meaning for the first time.
“Seo Han, do we really have to solve it in such a barbaric way?”
“Lee Siu, close your mouth and bring the game console.”
“······Yes.”
By the way, I’m just talking about it now.
I have never won a game with Han Seo-ah until now.