The True Confessions of a Nine-Tailed Fox

What did you know? Bobo was completely right about Lodia's reaction to our strategy for making the world a better place.

"Yes," she declared in that quiet, firm way she had when she dug in her heels and wasn't going to budge without a team of yellow oxen to haul her out. "Yes, it is time. What do you need from me, Pip – I mean, Griselda?"

"Oh, I think we're past all pretenses," Floridiana broke in. "The goddess of Fate came down to tell her what to do. At this point, what's the point in calling her anything besides Piri?"

She didn't, I noted, stumble over the hated, feared name the way she once did.

I second that, Stripey said. There's no point in pretending now.

"Pi-ri." Bobo sounded out the syllables. "I dunno...ssshe ssstill looks like a Rosssie to me."

I shrugged. You can call me Rosssie if you want.

"Okie!"

The critical issue of the name by which to address me thus settled, I broached the topic of the people I wanted to accompany me to East Serica to set little Eldon on the throne. This I approached with some trepidation, because I couldn't take everyone with me. No, rather, because I needed most of them to not be with me. Because I trusted them, and them alone, to carry out the other crucial parts of this plan.

Look at that. I, Flos Piri of the Jade Mountain Wilds, trusting people. Trusting friends. I had friends now. Who hopefully wouldn't feel hurt and left out when I selected only a couple of them to accompany me.

I...uh, hope you won't take this – the wrong way, but I'd like – I mean, I think it'll be best – if we don't all go to East Serica together. There's so much to do here, and in the rest of North Serica, still....

I trailed off, searching their faces for the first signs of hurt.

I mean, I know we just all got back together, and I'd love to spend more time with all of you under the same roof, but –

Stripey flapped a wing in a Hurry it along gesture.

But…I'd like Floridiana and Den to come with me.

I got that out of the way first. As expected, the foxling's face fell. No one else, however, appeared to be devastated that I hadn't picked them.

I'd like Lodia to stay in North Serica and spread the Temple towards the east. Stripey and Bobo, if you could stay with her to assist her....

This was the hardest part. They were my first friends, the two people I counted on to have my back (my shell, haha, in Claymouth) and to tell me when I was making an absolute botch of things. But that was precisely why I needed them to advise Lodia.

I expected Bobo, at least, to object, but – "Yep yep! We'll asssissst her and spread the Temple as far as it will go! Don't worry about us!"

Stripey, on the other hand, cocked his head to a side. If we're you-know-whatting, why are we still spreading the Temple?

"So we can benefit from it, silly!" cried Sphaera before she turned big fox-kit eyes on me. See? they seemed to plead. See how well I understand your plans? Take me too!

I couldn't. At least, not to East Serica. But I rewarded her with an approving nod that made her preen. Precisely. That kind of insight into my thought process is why I need you and Steelfang to conquer the Snowy Mountain Wilds. Before she could balk at getting banished from civilization yet again, I added, You're the only ones I trust to do it.

Please let this move convince any watching gods that I'm sending them away to die, I thought. I'm not, but I don't expect them to succeed any time soon either, and this will keep them out of my fur.

"We will!" vowed Sphaera. "We'll have it done in no time!"

Which wasn't what I wanted to hear but, tellingly, Steelfang didn't second it. He knew that subduing demon clans to whom they had no ties and of whom they knew nothing would not be so simple.

I know you can do it, I said straight to him. I believe you can do it.

His furry chin dipped, accepting the mission.

"What about me? What about me?" neighed Dusty, thrusting his head through the window and into the small of Floridiana's back.

She jumped and swatted at him. "Obviously you're coming with me. Who's going to pull my wagon otherwise?"

"I am not your dray horse! I am the Valiant Prince of – "

Yes, you're coming with us, I interrupted his litany of self-proclaimed titles. When we proclaim the rightful Emperor, he's going to need a magnificent stallion to ride through the adoring masses.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

At the "magnificent stallion" part, Dusty's ears pricked up, and he arched his neck (which would have worked better if it weren't sticking through a small window). "And who better than a prince among horses to bear an emperor among men?" Another, less pleasant thought must have struck him, because he blew a stinky breath at me. "Remember your promise, bird – I mean rat. On the day that we – "

"Don't say it!" Floridiana hissed.

" – you will address me as 'Your Highness'."

I'd forgotten that promise, made in jest so long ago. It figured that his fragile ego still clung to it. With a ripple of my cape, I shrugged. Yeah, yeah, sure.

On the scale of promises I needed to keep, this one hardly registered.

Just like when we'd said goodbye to Floridiana and Dusty outside our first temple, our group of friends gathered once more at dawn. This time, the backdrop was the cream-and-ebony front of Blackberry Glen's City Hall, not the vermillion-and-gold Temple to the Kitchen God, but the chill in the air was the same, as were the people saying the hopeful, anxious farewells. After hugs from Bobo and Stripey, Lodia offered me a glorious crimson silk cape embroidered with clouds. In fact, I counted nine fluffy clouds.

"I thought you might need something fancier. In case you have to impress people?"

Ah, how much she had learned! How far she had come! And how much further she would rise, out from under the shadow of my wings!

Thank you. I bowed to her the way the townsfolk and priests did. Matriarch of the Temple to All Heaven.

She blushed and stammered, but Stripey clapped her on the back, and Bobo earnestly reminded her that she was Matriarch, and I knew that she would be all right.

Sphaera padded up to me and swept a graceful bow. "I shall not fail you, Great Lady. I shall conquer the Snowy Mountain Wilds for you."

I inclined my head. I know you will. (I knew nothing of the sort, but the task would keep her busy and hopefully convince the gods that I wasn't serious about overthrowing them. They'd interpret her assignment as banishment – which it more or less was.) Until we meet again, Sphaera Algarum.

"Until we meet again, Great Lady. When Heaven falls!"

Sigh.

A word of advice, young fox. Often it pays to be less open with your end goal.

She blinked, as if subterfuge shouldn't come as easily to her as breathing or grooming her thick auburn fur. "But it is your plan, Great Lady. With you in command, how could anyone stop us from reaching our goal?"

Ah, what magnificent faith! If only I had it in myself too.

Another word of advice. Always plan as if you're going to fail. That is when you will succeed.

"Yes, yes, I will! Someone bring me my brush and my notebook! I must write it down!"

Next to the wagon, Floridiana shook her head. "Shall we get going? Before she uses up the entire notebook and has to return to South Serica to fetch more paper?"

Dusty tossed his mane, which glinted in the early-morning light, and stamped his hooves. "I am READY to pull this wagon!"

For some reason, Floridiana turned green. "You don't need to be quite that ready. A mortal-horse pace would be perfectly acceptable."

Boot's pointy black ears poked up over the wagon's side. The cat spy must have jumped in while no one was watching. "Yes," she purred, "I would vastly prefer for the mage to not vomit all over me."

Dusty snorted. "Who offered you a ride, cat?"

"I did, actually," said Den. He wrapped up his goodbyes to Steelfang and Cornelius, and flew over to coil up in the wagon bed between the horse and the cat. "She needs a ride back to Roseberry Topping, and we're heading that way anyway, so – " He shrugged, rocking the wagon.

"I'm not pulling you too, dragon!"

"You won't need to," Floridiana cut in. She leaped onto the seat with the almost-uncanny agility she'd acquired when she ate half a Peach of Immortality. "Piri. Can we get going before Dusty starts a fight that splinters the wagon and none of us go anywhere today?"

I was already balanced on the side of the wagon. I swept her a theatrical bow.

Let's get this show on the road.

She barely had time for a disgruntled "Hmph" before Dusty bounded off, she nearly toppled backwards onto Den, and I nearly sailed right off the wagon. Boot's teeth closed on my tail and yanked me back.

Okay, now I knew why Floridiana had turned green.

Struggling back onto my feet, I climbed onto the back of the wagon and dangled over the edge, waving and waving as Stripey, Bobo, Lodia, Sphaera, Steelfang, and Cornelius vanished into the distance.

Despite Floridiana and Den's exhortations to "Slow down, slow down, you wretched nag!" Dusty covered the width of North Serica with impressive speed. Of course, it was nothing compared to how fast a dragon could fly, but it was at the limit of what a mortal human (and, to be honest, a mortal rat) could tolerate. Boot showed no signs of wagon-sickness, but neither did she linger when we paused on the outskirts of Roseberry Topping. A quick rest, and we were off again, bumping and jolting for the East Serican border.

The cat spies' network had acted fast. Outside homes and in town squares were freshly planted stands of rosemary and lavender. In one market, I spotted a dog spirit who'd set up a stall for grooming fellow animal spirits. He was going over each customer with a fine-toothed comb and crushing fleas mercilessly whenever he found them.

I confess that I entertained a little fantasy of reincarnating the Goddess of Life and her Commissioners of Plague as fleas.

Where is the capital of North Serica anyway? This 'Norcap'? I asked to pass the time.

Floridiana was too busy gripping the wagon seat with both hands and keeping her eyes pointed forward to answer, so it was Den who replied. "It's where the City of Dawn Song used to be."

Used to be?!

"Well, I guess you could say it's the new name for it?"

But why would you rename it? Dawn Song is a beautiful, poetic name! Why would you call it something so ugly as 'Norcap'?

"Ask yourself why – ulp – people might have wanted to call it – urgh! – something new." Floridiana double over and retched so noisily that I started to feel queasy too.

Ask...myself?

She seemed to be implying that it was because of what I'd done to Cassius' court, but the city had been named Dawn Song since long before then. Why would you rename a city just because of one bad emperor and one bad prime minister?

"It's true people were ready for a fresh start, but it's also because the Empire split into two at first," Den conceded. "The two capitals were named the Northern Capital and the Southern Capital."

How creative.

"And eventually 'Northern Capital' got shortened to 'Norcap'."

That's a terrible excuse for a name. We need to rename it at once. That needs to be Eldon's first edict as Emperor.

In between her heaving, Floridiana snapped, "That's gonna – ulp – be the least – slow down Dusty! – of your worries! Aaaargh!"

Since she was in no state to summarize the current condition of my beloved City of Dawn Song, I cocked my head at Den. His nostrils flared.

"Well, you see...."