Chapter 9: A Mermaid's Tears
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The transformed creature that had once been Jon Snow dominated the forest clearing, its massive form blocking out the weak winter sun. Fifteen meters of rippling, sexless muscle towered above the tree line, skin an unnatural pale grey that crackled with golden energy. Long dark hair whipped around its face like writhing snakes, framing mismatched eyes that blazed with inhuman fury - one emerald, one purple.
When it roared, the sound shattered the forest's silence. Birds exploded from the trees in panicked flocks. Deer bounded away in terror, their hooves thundering across frozen ground. Even the ancient trees seemed to tremble, their branches shaking as if trying to flee the horror in their midst.
The two remaining wildlings and the night's watch deserter stood frozen, their crude weapons forgotten as terror overwhelmed them. The creature's mismatched eyes fixed upon them with predatory focus, muscles rippling beneath its smooth, featureless torso as it moved with impossible speed for its size.
Its massive hand closed around the first wildling before he could even scream. Bones crackled like kindling as the creature slowly squeezed, blood spurting between massive fingers. The man's eyes bulged as his ribcage collapsed, puncturing lungs and heart. His death rattle was cut short by a wet crunch as his skull imploded, brain matter and bone fragments spraying through the gaps in the creature's fingers. When it opened its hand, only a shapeless mass of pulped flesh and shattered bone remained, steaming as it splattered across the snow.
The second wildling managed to turn, managing two steps before giant fingers seized him. His terrified screams echoed through the forest as the creature gripped his legs with one hand and his upper body with the other. Slowly, deliberately, it began to pull.
"Please!" the man shrieked, "Gods, please no!"
The creature's only response was to pull harder. Muscles stretched beyond their limits as tendons began to snap one by one, each with a sound like a bowstring breaking. Blood vessels burst beneath the man's skin, creating ugly purple bruises that spread like spilled wine. His spine crackled ominously as it was stretched.
With a wet, meaty sound, the wildling's skin began to tear at the waist. Blood sprayed in an arterial fountain as muscle fibers separated. His screams became gurgling wails as the creature continued pulling, ensuring maximum suffering. Internal organs spilled from the growing rent in his torso, steam rising from hot viscera as it hit the snow. Finally, with a sickening pop, the spine severed completely. The creature pulled the two halves apart, intestines stretching between them like gory ropes before snapping. The wildling's screams ended only when his body finally separated, his upper half still twitching as the last sparks of life faded from his eyes.
The deserter who had murdered Wylla - the one who had driven his blade across her pale throat - had used the distraction to flee. He crashed through the underbrush, one eye ruined by Wylla's final act of defiance, blood streaming down his face. Behind him, he heard the creature's thunderous footfalls as it gave chase, each step shaking the earth. Trees snapped like matchsticks beneath its feet as it pursued its prey.
The deserter glanced back, his remaining eye widening in horror as he saw the monster gaining on him despite its enormous size. Its inhuman face was twisted in a snarl of rage, golden lightning crackling across its massive frame. The man's foot caught a root and he sprawled in the snow, scrambling backward as the creature's shadow fell over him.
"Please!" he begged, "I'll do anything! Have mercy!"
The creature's voice boomed like thunder, deep and distorted: "Like you showed her mercy?"
Its huge hand shot out, seizing the deserter by his legs. The man screamed as he was lifted, dangling upside down at eye level with the monster. The creature began squeezing, slowly crushing the bones in his legs until they splintered, marrow oozing from compound fractures.
The deserter's screams echoed through the forest as the creature methodically worked its way up his body, pulverizing each limb in turn. Arms shattered, shoulder blades cracked, ribs caved in one by one. Blood sprayed from his mouth as crushed organs failed. Still the creature continued, using its massive fingers to peel away skin and muscle, exposing shattered bone and mangled tissue beneath.
The man's screams grew weaker as shock set in, but the creature kept him conscious, wanting him to feel every moment of agony. Finally, when the deserter was nothing more than a barely-living mass of pulped flesh and bone, the creature placed one giant thumb against his skull. With slowness, it applied pressure until the bone began to crack. The deserter gave one final, gurgling scream as his skull collapsed, brain matter and bone fragments painting the creature's massive hand.
The monster dropped the mangled corpse, its massive form trembling with rage and grief. The golden lightning intensified as it threw back its head and roared again, the sound shaking snow from tree branches and echoing off distant mountains. Its mismatched eyes blazed as it surveyed the carnage - crushed and dismembered bodies scattered across the blood-soaked snow, steam rising from cooling entrails.
Steam billowed from the massive titan form as it began to collapse, muscles twitching and spasming in death. The fifteen-meter body swayed, its long dark hair matted with blood and viscera, before crashing to its knees. The muscled form pitched forward, crushing trees beneath its immense weight.
The decomposition began immediately. Flesh started dissolving from the extremities, great sheets of muscle tissue sloughing away in steaming chunks. The pale grey skin split and peeled back, revealing layers of rapidly deteriorating sinew and bone beneath. A nauseating smell of organic decay filled the air - like rotting meat mixed with ozone.
Inside the titan's nape, Jon Snow regained consciousness in a cocoon of hot, pulsing flesh. Organic cables threaded through his muscles, connecting his nervous system to the dying titan form. Each decomposing twitch sent waves of agony through his body. He could taste blood and something fouler - titan spinal fluid, bitter and metallic.
With a hoarse scream of effort and pain, Jon began tearing himself free. His fingers ripped through membrane and muscle, sending hot fluids spraying across his face. The organic tethers resisted, stretching like rubber before snapping with wet pops. Each severed connection felt like a nerve being torn out.
He emerged from the titan's nape like a bloody birth, trailing streamers of dissolving tissue. Steam rose from his bare skin as supernatural healing sealed the connection points, leaving phantom pains where the titan flesh had merged with his own. Chunks of decomposing matter clung to his shoulders and hair, already beginning to evaporate.
Jon's legs gave out as he slipped down from the nape and hit the ground, knees sinking into blood-soaked snow. His head spun as memories of the rampage crashed over him in violent fragments:
The crack of bones as he crushed the first wildling...
The wet tearing sound as he ripped the second in half...
The deserter's screams as he methodically destroyed him...
"Wylla..." he choked out, forcing his exhausted body to move. Steam still rose from his healing wounds as he crawled toward where she lay, her green hair stark against crimson snow. The sight of her lifeless form sent fresh waves of grief and rage crashing through him.
He gathered her cooling body in his trembling arms, cradling her head against his chest. Her blood had frozen to her throat where the deserter's blade had opened it. Her eyes stared sightlessly at the darkening sky.
"I'm sorry," Jon whispered, voice raw. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."
Memories of their last moments together tortured him - her smile that morning, the warmth of her kiss, her final desperate warning cry before the blade fell.
The aftermath of his titan rampage surrounded them. Mangled corpses lay scattered across the clearing, already being covered by gently falling snow. Trees had been snapped like twigs, the ground churned to mud mixed with blood and viscera.
Jon's body shook with silent sobs as he held Wylla's corpse. The healing steam had faded, leaving him exposed to the bitter cold, but he barely felt it. The pain was nothing compared to the hollow ache in his chest.
Jon clutched Wylla's body closer, his tears falling onto her pale face as he cradled her head against his chest. His fingers trembled as they brushed through her blood-matted green hair, trying hopelessly to restore some semblance of order to the tangled strands. Each sob that wracked his body sent fresh waves of exhaustion through his aching muscles.
"I love you," he whispered brokenly against her cold forehead. "I should have been faster, should have protected you better..." His voice cracked as he rocked her gently, as if trying to comfort her in death as he had so often in life.
Behind him, the massive titan skeleton continued its inexorable decay. The bones, each thicker than ancient tree trunks, began to crystallize and fragment. The massive skull, with its empty sockets where those mismatched eyes had blazed with fury, started to collapse in on itself. Pieces of the ribcage crumbled away like sand in a strong wind, the fragments dissolving into steam before they could hit the ground.
The spine - longer than a dozen horses laid end to end - deteriorated last, vertebrae disintegrating one by one from tail to neck. Within five minutes, even the largest bones had completely vanished, leaving nothing but ghostly wisps of steam rising from a massive patch of melted snow. The ground where the titan had fallen was completely bare, the heat having melted through several feet of accumulated snowfall to expose the frozen earth beneath.
As the last traces of steam dissipated into the cold air, Jon pressed his lips to Wylla's forehead one final time, tasting salt tears and dried blood.
.
.
Jon's eyes focused on Wylla's face, still beautiful even in death. Her green hair, matted with blood, framed features that would never again light up with curiosity or break into that knowing smile he'd grown so fond of. The dagger her grandfather had given her lay beside her lifeless hand, its blade stained with the blood of the man who'd killed her.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice raw. "I promised to protect you." His fingers trembled as he gently closed her eyes, unable to bear their empty gaze any longer. The clearing still reeked of death and lightning, evidence of what he'd become, of what he'd done – and yet it hadn't been enough to save her.
The sound of approaching horses barely registered. Names being called out echoed distantly in his mind, meaningless sounds that couldn't penetrate the fog of his grief. Someone was shouting his name, then Wylla's. He held her tighter, as if he could somehow keep her with him just a little longer.
"Gods, no. No, no, no..." Lord Manderly's broken voice cut through Jon's haze. Heavy footsteps approached, and suddenly hands were trying to take her from him.
"Let her go, son," his father's voice came softly. "Jon, you need to let her go."
Jon's arms refused to release her at first, but gentler hands – Robb's, he realized dimly – helped pry his fingers loose. He watched as Lord Manderly cradled his granddaughter's body, his massive frame shaking with sobs.
"My little mermaid," the Lord of White Harbor wept, rocking her like she was still the small child who used to sit on his knee. "My sweet, clever girl..."
Ned Stark's face swam into Jon's vision, lined with concern and grief. "Jon," he called, but Jon could barely focus on the words. The world was starting to spin, darkness creeping in at the edges.
"Father..." he managed, before consciousness slipped away.
---
Sunlight streamed through the windows of his chamber in White Harbor when Jon opened his eyes. For one blessed moment, his mind was blank, peaceful. Then reality crashed back, driving the air from his lungs.
Wylla was dead.
A soft snore drew his attention to the chair beside his bed. Robb was slumped there, dark circles under his eyes suggesting he'd been there all night. His brother's presence confirmed what Jon had desperately hoped wasn't true – this wasn't some horrible nightmare he could wake from.
"Robb," Jon's voice cracked.
His brother startled awake immediately. "Jon! Thank the gods." Robb leaned forward, relief evident on his face. "We weren't sure you'd wake. The maester couldn't explain... there was so much blood, but your wounds..."
Jon turned away, his mind racing. How could he explain what happened? The rage, the power, the transformation he still didn't understand? The memory of what he'd become filled him with equal parts terror and shame.
"I don't remember much," he lied, the words tasting bitter in his mouth. "It's all... confused."
"Father says the clearing looked like a battlefield. Thirty dead wildlings, the knights..." Robb paused, his voice heavy. "No one understands how you survived, Jon. Three of the bodies were... they looked like they'd been torn apart by some kind of beast."
Jon's hands clenched in the sheets. He could remember flashes of what happened, exactly how those men had died, and could still feel the inhuman strength that had flowed through him.
"It doesn't matter," Jon said harshly. "None of it matters. I failed her, Robb. I was supposed to protect her, and I failed."
"Jon, don't. There were too many of them. The fact that any of you survived long enough for us to..."
"She died because of me," Jon cut him off, his voice raw with self-loathing. "Lord Manderly trusted me to keep her safe, and instead..." He could still see her final moments, the flash of her knife, the defiance in her eyes even at the end.
"She died fighting," Robb said quietly. "We found her dagger... she took one down herself. She was brave, Jon."
Jon turned away, unable to bear his brother's attempt at comfort. The power that surged through him, the transformation – it had all come too late. What good was becoming something more than human if he couldn't save the one person who mattered?
"Lord Manderly?" Jon finally asked, dreading the answer.
"He's... he's with her. Preparing for the ceremony. Father's with him."
Jon closed his eyes, remembering the lord's heartbroken sobs. Another person he'd failed. The secret of what he'd become burned inside him, but how could he share it? Who would believe him? More importantly, who would ever trust him again if they knew the truth?
"I should have died instead of her."
"Don't say that," Robb's voice was sharp. "Don't you dare say that."
"What I should or shouldn't say doesn't matter anymore," Jon cut him off bitterly. "Because she's dead, Robb. She's dead, and I have to live with that. I have to live with watching her die, with knowing I could have..." He stopped himself before revealing too much, but the words 'been faster, changed sooner, controlled it better' echoed in his mind.
Tears finally came then, hot and bitter, as Jon turned to face his brother. "I was starting to care for her, Robb. Really care for her. And now..."
Robb moved from the chair to sit on the bed, trying to hug his brother, but Jon shook his head. He didn't want anyone's comfort; he didn't want Robb's hugs, he wanted Wylla. He wanted her alive. But the gods took the one thing that made a bastard happy.
Later
Jon stared at the ceiling of his chamber, his heart heavy with the thought of facing Lord Manderly. The man who had welcomed him into his home, who had trusted him with his most precious treasure. The memory of Lord Manderly's broken sobs as he cradled Wylla's body haunted him.
"I can't face him, Robb," Jon whispered, his voice thick with shame. "How do I look into the eyes of a man whose granddaughter died under my protection?"
"Father says Lord Manderly doesn't blame you," Robb offered softly. "He knows you fought to protect her. The evidence was clear enough in that clearing."
Jon let out a bitter laugh. "Doesn't blame me? He should. He should hate me. He should throw me out of White Harbor, demand my head." His voice cracked. "She was everything to him, Robb. You didn't see how his eyes lit up when she'd talk about her latest projects, or how proud he was when she'd debate with the merchants in court."
He pushed himself up, ignoring the lingering weakness in his limbs. "And now I have to stand at her ceremony, watching them lay her in the crypts, knowing that if I'd been better, stronger..." He stopped. "She should be alive, sketching those damn trees she loved so much."
"The ceremony is at sunset," Robb said quietly. "Father says Lord Manderly requested you be there, if you're strong enough."
Jon's throat tightened. Of course, the lord would maintain proper courtesy, even in his grief. It made everything worse somehow. "They're burying her with her sketchbook," he said suddenly, remembering.
"I saw her drawings once," Jon continued, his voice distant. "She had this way of capturing life in everything she sketched. Even those old trees seemed to breathe on her pages. And now..." He clenched his fists, fighting back fresh tears. "Now all those blank pages will never be filled."
The weight of all the things that would never be – her drawings, her laughter, her future – pressed down on Jon. And soon he would have to stand before her grandfather, before all of White Harbor, knowing that his secret, his strange new power, had emerged too late to save her.
"I don't know how to do this, Robb," he admitted quietly. "How do I honor her memory when I'm the reason she has no future?"
Robb didn't know what to say to that.
Later
The setting sun cast long shadows across White Harbor as Jon made his way to the ceremony. Each step felt heavier than the last, but he forced himself forward, Robb a steady presence at his side. The Manderly crypts, unlike the stark simplicity of Winterfell's, were adorned with intricate carvings of waves and sea creatures – a final home befitting the merfolk of White Harbor.
Lord Manderly stood like a mountain of grief, his massive frame somehow diminished by sorrow. When his eyes met Jon's, there was no accusation there, only a shared, devastating loss that made Jon's guilt burn even fiercer. Ser Wylis and Ser Wendel flanked their father, their usual jovial demeanor replaced by stone-faced silence, eyes rimmed red from tears long since spent.
Wynafryd's sobs cut through the evening air like knives. Jon couldn't bear to look at her – Wylla's older sister, who had always been the proper lady to Wylla's wild spirit. Her friends surrounded her, offering comfort that seemed to bounce off her like rain on stone. Each of her cries was a fresh reminder of his failure.
"Jon Snow," Lord Manderly's voice was hoarse, barely recognizable as the booming tone that once filled the Merman's Court. "You... you should stand with the family."
The words nearly broke him. Jon wanted to refuse, to say he didn't deserve such an honor, but he couldn't deny Lord Manderly anything, not now. He moved forward, feeling the weight of hundreds of eyes upon him. The crowd was massive – merchants, sailors, servants, nobles – all come to bid farewell to their lord's beloved granddaughter.
"She loved you, you know," Wynafryd whispered as he took his place beside her, her words meant only for him. "She never said it, but I knew. The way she talked about you..." A fresh wave of tears overtook her.
Jon's throat closed up. He wanted to tell Wynafryd that he had loved Wylla too, that he hadn't realized how much until it was too late, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, he stood in silence as the septons began their prayers.
The coffin arrived, carried by six of the household guards who had trained with Wylla in the yard. It was beautiful, carved with mermaids and dragons – she would have loved that detail, would have traced the patterns with her fingers and invented stories about each figure. Jon's mind betrayed him then, flooding him with memories:
Wylla in the marketplace, haggling fiercely with a silk merchant, her green hair catching the sunlight...
Her laughter as she showed him her favorite hiding spots in the castle, places she'd go to sketch and dream...
The softness of her lips when she kissed him under the heart tree, the way she'd pulled back with that mischievous glint in her eyes...
Her face alight with excitement as she explained her latest theories about the ancient markings...
The proud tilt of her chin when she'd mastered a new defensive move in the training yard...
"Like ashes," he thought bitterly, each memory a burning coal in his mind. "All turned to ashes."
Around him, he could hear the whispers, though people tried to be discrete:
"...but how did he survive?"
"...twenty wildlings they said..."
"...bodies torn apart..."
"...something strange in that clearing..."
"...the Stark boy must have..."
Jon clenched his jaw, forcing himself to focus on the ceremony. The truth burned inside him, desperate to get out, but he kept it locked away. How could he explain what he didn't understand himself? How could he tell them that something inhuman lived inside him now, something that had awakened too late to save her?
Lord Manderly stepped forward to speak, his voice struggling to remain steady. "My granddaughter was the very best of House Manderly. She had her grandmother's beauty, her mother's wit, and a spirit entirely her own. She was fierce and gentle, scholarly and wild, proper and rebellious – all in equal measure." He paused, gathering himself. "She saw beauty in the old things, wisdom in the ancient ways. She believed in magic, in the power of the old gods and the new. She..."
The lord's voice finally broke. Ser Wylis stepped forward to support his father, continuing where he left off. "She would want us to remember her with joy, not sorrow. To remember her laughter, her passion, her endless curiosity. She would tell us to look forward, to keep searching for answers, to keep believing in possibilities."
Jon's hands trembled as they lowered the coffin. Wylla's sketchbook lay atop it, along with her dagger – the one that had saved her life once, but couldn't save it again. The blank pages would never know her touch, never capture the visions in her mind.
Wynafryd stepped forward, placing a wreath of blue winter roses on the coffin – Wylla's favorite, though she'd always complained that the ones in White Harbor weren't as beautiful as those from Winterfell. The sight of them nearly undid Jon's composure.
"She was going to visit Winterfell," he thought. "She wanted to see the glass gardens, to sketch the heart tree, to explore the crypts..." Another future lost, another promise broken.
As the final prayers were said and the coffin was sealed into its resting place, Jon felt something inside him harden. The power that now coursed through his veins, the strange new strength that made him something more than human – he would learn to control it, to understand it. He owed her that much. She had believed in magic, in possibilities. She had died seeking understanding of the ancient powers.
"I'll find the answers, Wylla," he promised silently. "I'll understand what these markings mean, what's happening to me. I'll make your death mean something."
The ceremony ended as the last light faded from the sky. People began to drift away, returning to lives that would somehow continue without Wylla in them. Lord Manderly remained, staring at the sealed crypt, his massive frame silhouetted against the torchlight.
"My lord," Jon found himself saying, though he hadn't planned to speak. "I..."
"Not now, Jon Snow," Lord Manderly said softly, not unkindly. "There will be time for words later. For now... for now, let an old man grieve his little mermaid."
Jon bowed and turned away, unable to bear the sight of the lord's pain any longer. Robb was waiting to escort him back to his chambers, but Jon knew sleep would not come. Not with the weight of secrets pressing down on him, not with the memory of Wylla's smile haunting his dreams.
Behind him, he could still hear Lord Manderly's muffled sobs echoing through the crypts, a father's grief for a cherished granddaughter. And beneath that sound, barely audible, came the whispers of the crowd, still wondering how the bastard of Winterfell had survived when their lord's precious granddaughter had not.
Jon welcomed their suspicion, their doubt. It was no less than he deserved. The truth was far worse than anything they could imagine, and it would remain his burden to bear alone.
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