The Taoist ancestor is Cthulhu

What on earth are these so-called 'not-things'?

Li Fan swallowed hard; he could only see two bloody holes staring back at him, with vessels and raw flesh still trembling.

Just as he was unsure of how to answer, a rainbow light flashed past him from behind, and a peal of thunder exploded above his head.

The old Daoist let go, tossed Li Fan back onto his futon to sit, and although blind, he moved past him without the slightest hindrance. He tucked the shining red sword into his bosom, formed a hand gesture, and bent over to kowtow,

"Mountain Lord."

Mountain Lord?

Li Fan shrank his neck and turned his head to look.

He saw a man with a face as clear as jade and lips like cinnabar, nine feet tall, smiling at him. That must be the so-called Mountain Lord.

He wasn't dressed like a Daoist; he wore an open-chested red robe and had no headdress, his hair disheveled, yet he didn't appear unkempt. With every move he made, he seemed rather dashing and handsome, with an extraordinary bearing.

Well, indeed, when it comes to these matters, it's all about the face, isn't it?

"Qin Jian Shi, what do you think?" the Mountain Lord asked the old Daoist, still smiling at Li Fan as if he hadn't noticed the bloody mess on the floor.

"Reporting to the Mountain Lord," the old Daoist said, pointing accusatorily at Li Fan, "this young man is a Dao seed."

What Dao seed? That sounds like an insult.

Li Fan frowned and secretly shifted to one side, but the old Daoist's finger followed his nose.

Damn, have your eyeballs been dug out or what? You can still see?

"This child, observing the stars and moon, was actually able to dream by the abyss! The evil aura he stirred up during meditation even nurtured a Honored Heaven Fiend! Yet his Daoist physique remains unharmed, without a trace of demonic manifestation! His mind as steady as an ordinary person, such calm and courage; he's a natural seeker of the Dao indeed!"

You flatter me too much, 'calm and courageous' I cannot claim, but indeed I'm cluelessly bewildered…

But as the old Daoist spoke, following the Mountain Lord and turning his face, it truly terrified Li Fan, who was privately mocking the situation in his mind.

Because in that brief moment the old Daoist turned to bow, two new eyeballs had grown in his gouged-out, bloody eye sockets!

And it was obvious they had just appeared! Two pea-sized eyeballs, emerging from some bloody flesh bud or vein, wrapped in pink and blue nerve endings, dangled in the center of the eye socket, quivering, trembling unnervingly... that sort of... mixed feeling... scary, revolting, and somehow a bit comical... a rather inexplicable emotion…

'Li Fan's mood has decreased by 1 point. Attention! Li Fan, mood, 5/100, extremely dangerous!'

Li Fan couldn't care less about the system's shrieking as he tensely took his seat on the futon.

Because that Mountain Bamboo—no, damn, Mountain Lord—had already sauntered over to Li Fan like a big red crab, squatting on the ground and peering at him, and then leaned in to sniff him like a dog.

"Hmm! Being able to meditate on your first Moon Worship is rare! And to dream by the abyss during meditation is even rarer! Moreover, you didn't even wet yourself out of fright; truly extraordinary! You are indeed a natural-born Daoist!"

The Mountain Lord nodded in agreement with the old Daoist, who wore a thoroughly convinced expression.

Li Fan just gave them a sidelong glance—so your standard for a Daoist is someone who can keep their bodily functions in check? Isn't that setting the bar a bit too low?

Then the Mountain Lord also turned his head and widened his eyes, the whites rolling top to bottom, gathering six pupils in total, and drew close to Li Fan to ask,

"So what did you see? Was it something, or was it a not-thing?"

'Li Fan's mood has decreased by 1 point. Attention! Li Fan, mood, 4/100, extremely dangerous!'

At that moment, Li Fan was genuinely frightened to the point of peeing himself, just a little…

No, what's wrong with you people! Would it hurt to have just two normal eyes with two pupils? And stop with the Sichuan opera face-changing act—don't change every time you turn your head! Who can deal with that?!

Out of fright and irritation, Li Fan spoke up tersely, "What 'somethings' or 'not-things?' I don't know. I only remember seeming to see the starry sky, with a string of purple bubbles floating above…"

"Ah—! See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil! Feel no joy, no anger, no sorrow! Know no fear, no dread, no terror!"

The old Daoist suddenly yelled, interrupting Li Fan. He leaped three meters away with a tap of his toe; balanced on one bamboo leaf with the tip of his left foot, the right leg curled under him as he sat steadily. He stretched out both hands to cover his mouth, close his eyes, and plug his ears, perfectly sealing his seven orifices—and somehow, he still had two hands left to hold the sword…

Alright, those extra six hands grew from his Daoist robe sleeves just now...

What the fuck... what are all these things…

Li Fan didn't hear the system interject, haha, probably because he himself had become so numb to the absurdness that he couldn't care less about such scenes now...

It was the Mountain Lord, however, who displayed a supremely content look, like that of intense satisfaction when finally able to relax and relieve oneself after holding it in for too long, that peak sense of joy...

Okay, how does that saying go—there're only hosts courting death, no systems mistaken; it's likely most cultivators in this world suffer from serious mental and emotional issues...

"Hearing the Dao, one may die content," said the Mountain Lord, his face buried in his hands, tears streaming down. Quite literally, tears streamed from his eyes, with three times the tears overflowing from the six pupils in his whites, the drops falling to the ground, tinkling like red pearls.

"I thank the young friend for aiding my cultivation, these are my tokens of appreciation."

He said, grabbing a handful of pearls condensed from tears of blood, and stuffed them into Li Fan's arms.

Li Fan, "..."

Who the hell wants that! But Li Fan didn't dare to rebel; he vaguely remembered a masked person mentioning something about failing the challenge and being sent off to accompany the Mountain Lord's drink, probably referring to the lunatic before him. So, he grudgingly accepted the offering with a stiff upper lip.

The mountain master then stood up, smiled at Li Fan, and gave a slight nod, "Young friend, you sought the Dao at the Feast to the Moon and could fathom the secrets of life at the edge of the abyss—indeed, a born Daoist with boundless prospects. Come, I invite you to drink with me."

With a flick of his sleeves, he scattered two streaks of golden light from his red robe. They darted and bounced, stretching into two golden threads in the blink of an eye, swirling around them like long dragonflies.

Li Fan blinked and took a closer look, only to see that they were two dazzling golden mini-swords, each about four to five inches long, roughly the size of hairpins. His heart skipped a beat.

That's right! Flying swords! A sword had even burrowed into his palm! Yet, there was neither wound nor sensation; he had almost forgotten... Holy shit, was this a dream or was he starting to have a split personality…

At this moment, there was a rustling in the bamboo forest—it was those three masked cultivators emerging from the dark woods, all tongues clucking at the mess in front of them, bowing hurriedly, "Mountain Master, Supreme Master."

The old Daoist sat atop a bamboo leaf, his six senses sealed off, not responding,

The mountain master didn't even glance at them, casually giving orders,

"Master Qin Sword's Skill of Obliviousness is not there yet; he might not be able to conceal his form much longer. I wish to drink with this young friend, and I have no time to attend to him. Wait here by my side, and should he not retract himself before dawn, please call Master Mo Sword to execute him, and bring his head to accompany our drink!"

Sheesh... No need to be so courteous, can we have something light instead? I'm feeling a bit queasy.

"We will honor the law," the three cultivators replied in unison, bowing respectfully.

The mountain master then reached out to grasp Li Fan's right wrist, gently lifting his arm, "Golden Jiao, White Star, fly to the heavens."

The two flying-sword-sized hairpins began to revolve around the pair at a frantic pace. So fast that Li Fan couldn't decipher the movement of the swords—only the golden rings of storms whirling around them.

At the same time, he just felt lightness in his body. The mountain master apparently made no effort, yet Li Fan was lifted into the sky. In a single breath, they soared up through the clouds, leaping into the clear sky. Below, the bamboo forest and the compact altar rapidly shrunk, and looking around, the ink-colored sea of bamboo undulated with the wind, like raging waves under the cloak of night. Above them, twin moons hung, casting an endless glow from Yunxiao down...

Wow, this guy's taking off from Wuhu...

'Li Fan's mood increased by 1 point. Attention! Li Fan, mood, 5/100, extremely dangerous!'

"Young friend!" The mountain master yanked at Li Fan to snap him out of his reverie, "When the ethereal moon is high, beware of cultivating, lest you risk the danger of deviation. Look there!"

The mountain master, leading Li Fan through the wind, surrounded by golden light, sped tens of miles in a blink of an eye. From afar, Li Fan saw two colossal beasts facing off on a mountain ridge, like those found in online game advertisements.

One was a hundred-foot-tall brown ape with golden eyes, armored like a crocodile and with a scorpion's tail; the other was a forty-zhang-long single-horned green serpent with four pairs of bird wings growing on its spine.

On one side, as fierce as the blazing sun, scorching space, on the other, rolling cold ice, blizzards hitting one's face. The collision of the two demonic wind currents was dense and forceful, the demon light reaching the heavens.

But it seemed that these two giant beasts were not merely savage creatures; they had a touch of humanity and did not engage in fighting. Instead, they turned their heads to look towards the golden light in the sky and nodded in a greeting.

"You see, even with a Golden Core stage cultivation, during the hollow night, Dual Cultivation can hardly prevent one from revealing their true form," the mountain master smiled, "too bad, I wanted to slay that couple to accompany our drinks—next time, perhaps."

Li Fan sweated, hoping we could avoid thinking about killing as an accompaniment to drinking and—

"Mountain Master, the immortals, your sect—are they all... demonic immortals?"

"Hahahaha!" The mountain master laughed heartily, "My mistake. Young friend, you are new to the ways of cultivation, still ignorant of these matters. Don't worry, we will drink first!"

The mountain master pointed outwards with his right hand, and the golden swords visibly accelerated. The surrounding mountains and trees seemed to shift backward. Amazingly, Li Fan felt no force of the wind upon his face. With just a breath, the scenery before him abruptly changed. It was as though he had jumped from the yin to the yang world, from the void night to the daylight, pulling open the curtains as the vista brightened considerably.

Li Fan opened his eyes, and a lush suspended mountain hovered into view, billowing with immortal mist, clouds, and colorful mists twining around peaks, with palaces and pavilions nestled among them, waterside pavilions, a feast for the eyes, Green Phoenixes and cranes flying and falling in the breeze.

At first glance, it seemed to be a genuine residence of Immortal Families, a righteous Daoist sect. Nothing like the demonic winds and morbid yin energy outside.

'Li Fan's mood increased by 1 point.'

Li Fan looked up, saw no moon above, and the clouds and mists rolled up as if a lid had been placed upside-down. He couldn't see any stars; this place must be the mountain master's haven, some kind of sealed space.

After entering this space, the golden rings surrounding them gradually dissipated, and the two golden swords slowed down, burrowing like fish back into the mountain master's sleeves.

The mountain master, on the other hand, unfurled his robe and glided through the wind like a roc, leading Li Fan to settle at the summit of the celestial mountain amongst the clouds, in a courtyard with meandering streams and blooming peach trees, filled with fragrant scents, and a gentle breeze in the garden. The scenery was quite elegant, and the air felt refreshingly pleasant, invoking a sense of well-being.

'Li Fan's mood increased by 1 point.'

"Please sit, young friend, I'll be back shortly."

The mountain master released Li Fan's wrist and invited him to take a seat, then turned and called out towards the courtyard, "Attend to us!"

Immediately, the mountain master's figure transformed into a rainbow light and shot away.

At the edge of the creek outside, a breeze blew by, whisking up petals of peach blossoms and revealing three young women in the prime of their life.

One had delicate manners garbed in brocade satin; another, a beauty with bright cheeks in immortal robes of rosy clouds; and the last, Chanjuan, ethereal, her dark hair coiling around her.

All three smiled charmingly as they bowed in unison, "The maids have seen the young master."

Li Fan swallowed hard.

'Li Fan's mood greatly improved by 1 point'

'Li Fan's mood greatly improved by 1 point'

'Li Fan's mood greatly improved by 1 point'

Cough cough! It's just so simple for a man to be happy! What's wrong with that simplicity!