The story of a Nightingale

On my way home, the excitement that had gripped me after such a fruitful heist gradually subsided, and, as a result, I began to perceive a hint of the peculiar nature of the situation. Not enough to attribute my great success to divine intervention; after all, young and self-assured as I was, I wouldn't have been capable of entertaining such an assumption. But it was still sufficient to bring me back to reality a little and make me think about what I should do with the large sum of money I was carrying at that moment.

As I've mentioned, I lacked for nothing during that period, and, furthermore, I wasn't accustomed to spending money. I had begun to grasp the fact that money could mean much more than a means to secure one's existence, yet I was still a long way from understanding its true power in this world where we tend to spend our allotted time far more frivolously than we ought to.

While thinking I saw that I was near the Arboretum so I entered the gods' park and hurried toward the small glade where the statue of the goddess Mara stood. No one was there; it was quiet and cool, and only a few whispers and giggles coming from Dibella's statue disturbed the peace that seemed to reign here. I lit a candle on the small adjoining altar and gazed at the statue. But it was cold and indifferent, the goddess's face expressing, as usual, sadness and pity. Nothing more.

I sat on the thick, soft grass and reflected. During my time spent in the bowels of the great city, I had been accustomed to seeking the goddess's counsel whenever doubts or fears wandered through my soul. But now my goddess was far from me, somewhere out in the wide world alongside my beloved brother, Rasha. I sighed when his image formed in my mind; I wished he were here with me now, so I could seek his advice... Disappointed and beginning to feel the fatigue of such a full day, I slowly made my way home, arriving late after midnight.

Only one light was burning inside: in the small study where our mother often sat and met with various people who usually sought her after nightfall. I went straight there and told Shaira, who was waiting for me everything I had done or experienced in the days I had spent away from home. She listened intently and without interruption; the expression on her face gradually shifted from worry to relief, and then, when I recited the complete and detailed inventory of all the trifles and trinkets I had stolen from the butcher's home, her astonishment was beyond I could image.

At the end, when I emptied the contents of the bag I had brought with me onto the small table in the back room, Shaira sighed deeply and looked at me with fear and nervousness. She rose from her chair, slowly circled the table that stood between us, and gently took my hand. She pulled me after her, and, with quiet steps, we left the house. We walked silently for a while through the deserted streets; then Shaira asked me what my father's name was.

I replied that I didn't know and that I had only known my mother, Kiersten, who had been killed a few years earlier. As soon as she heard the name, Shaira stopped and held my shoulders and I could feel her gaze piercing through the darkness that enveloped us.

-A tall woman, blonde, with gray eyes, yes? Or perhaps only you truly know the color of her eyes... 

She murmured as she starred at me intently.

-Yes, mother! 

I replied, shivering. I even began to feel a little afraid because now she was gripping my shoulders tightly, and her eyes—those yellow, probing eyes—had begun to shine like two strange, unsettling lights in the night. And Shaira embraced me and held me close to her chest; I felt her sighing deeply as she gently stroked my hair. 

- Elsie, my daughter, I fear you have brought the Darkness with you!

- Oh, mother, but she is so beautiful! And so powerful...

- Yes... And terrifying when angered, vengeful beyond measure, and, above all, deceitful! Has She given you Her gifts?

- Only one, mother!

- I see. But perhaps we should not speak of such things... She loves secrets and hidden corners, mystery and lies! Still, it is good for you to know—though perhaps the Mother Cat has not told you this yet—that you are what we call a Nightingale, a guardian and, at the same time, a confidant of the Goddess. This is an extraordinary thing, magnificent in its very nature, for you are Her chosen one from the mortal world. But more than that, you received this accolade at birth, for your mother, Kiersten, was also a Nightingale. And while that may be a good and useful thing for you, for everyone around you, the Goddess's grace is nothing but a danger and a threat. For She is exceedingly jealous...

Shaira fell silent for a moment, as if weary from the weight of what she had just shared. I shivered under the persistent chill of a breeze that swirled the dust on the little street where we stood; a sharp caw of a raven pierced the quiet of the night, and I felt my mother tremble. She gently pushed me away from her and sighed again.

- Then...

I said, my voice trembling.

- Then we will carry on with our lives as before, my daughter! No one can defy fate, especially when it is woven by Nocturnal herself! And perhaps the Goddess will be merciful to us all. At least for a time... 

Neither of us said anything more, and we returned home.

She refused to accept the money I tried to entrust to her; my mother just shook her head and looked at me worriedly. I could barely convince her to take two gold coins to buy gifts on my behalf for all the members of our family. Then Shaira gave me the address of a man who, she said, would be willing to buy the items I had stolen. She rummaged through the drawer of her small desk and took out a small piece of leather engraved with symbols that were meaningless to me.

-Give him this! And don't you go to him with any of your friends! 

My mother added, looking at me sternly. She then advised me, still looking uncertain, to entrust all the money I didn't need to the same individual, Sebastian by name.

The following morning, I woke up in an exceptionally good mood. All the excitement that had thrilled me just a few hours earlier was gone without a trace, along with the unease caused by the feeling that the recent events went beyond the ordinary. As for my mother Shaira's strange behavior and words, they barely even crossed my mind the next morning...

My sisters were bustling about in our room, which now resembled a hive of bees in full activity. After a bit of playful banter with the little ones, I dressed as best as I could and headed out onto the streets, where the summer day's heat was beginning to take hold. I visited the hideout I had set up in the sewers of the Talos Plaza District and retrieved most of the goods I had stolen from the butcher's house. Then, eager as ever, I went to see Sebastian.

Sebastian was the first fence I ever met, and I must confess he left an indelible impression on me. He was an elderly Imperial with a wise yet imposing demeanor, his voice gentle and melodious.

He owned an antique shop that, in addition to countless tomes—both old and new—sold works of art of all kinds and for most tastes. Naturally, there was also that inevitable back room typical of such establishments. But what overwhelmed me more than anything else was the imposing image of the main room—a vast, high-ceilinged space where expensive items were carefully and skillfully displayed.

Apart from the antique dealer himself, the shop employed three young salesmen, all dressed extremely neatly and soberly, attending to the needs of the few customers who, despite the early hour, were intently examining the displays. In short, everyone there was very busy, so it was not difficult for me to discreetly catch the old merchant's attention and show him the strange token I had received from Shaira.

Sebastian issued a few instructions to his associates and beckoned me to follow him. He moved slowly, leaning on an ebony cane with a golden handle, but this in no way diminished the sense of grandeur he had impressed upon me from the start. Once we reached the secret back room I mentioned earlier, Sebastian settled into a richly upholstered armchair with visible satisfaction and gestured for me to place the contents of my bag on the large table between us.

Proudly, I spread out all the trinkets and cheap jewelry I had stolen. The antique dealer cast a single glance over them and, without bothering to examine any of them closely, said coldly:

-Five septims for the candlesticks, three for the rest. Why did Shaira send you to me?

I was not intimidated in the least by the old man's disapproving gaze. Looking him straight in the eye, I extended my hand toward him, smiling impudently. Sebastian sighed, then counted out eight coins and placed them on the table in front of me.

-Now, if our business is concluded, I have work to attend to!

He said, clearly surprised that I was still sitting there in the chair he had offered me.

Without a word, I stood, pushing all the trifles I had sold him to one side of the table. Then, I emptied the rest of my bag onto it; from the little sack, in a sparkling and pleasantly jingling cascade, spilled all the silver and gold coins I had stolen. The old man looked at them with a hint of curiosity, then directed his questioning gaze at me.

-My mother told me you were trustworthy enough to entrust my money to. Well, here it is—for now...

I said, adding the eight septims I had just received from him to the gleaming pile on the table.

-Ah, I see! Now I begin to understand! 

The old man said, smiling broadly, and tapped his cane twice on the floor. Almost immediately, a cheerful girl, a little older than me, rushed into the room, her cheeks flushed.

-Dara, count the money and give this young lady a receipt... 

He instructed the young woman. And then, to me:

-Ah, and to not forget, my commission is one percent per month. You can come here at any hour, day or night, if you wish to withdraw all your money at once. If you only need smaller sums, please visit during our regular business hours.

With that, he rose to leave.But I remained seated, my gaze fixed on him.

-Is there something else? 

He asked, somewhat uncertainly. I gestured toward the girl, who was intently counting the money and dividing it into neat bundles tied with silk thread in an ingenious manner.

-Yes, you can speak freely. Dara is my daughter and, with Stendarr's blessing, the future heir to this business. 

He said; the girl turned her mischievous nose toward me and gave me a sweet smile.

-Very well! In that case, sir, I must insist you make an exception for me and reduce your outrageously high commission. I assure you that the amount I deposit here will soon grow so much that it wouldn't be fair for you to grow rich merely because I allow you to use my money! 

I said, pronouncing each word slowly and deliberately. I saw his eyes widen in astonishment, and I continued in the same cold, indifferent tone:

-Furthermore, our business for today is not finished! I need you to send one of your servants with me to transport the rest of the goods I intend to sell you. Also, a large sack filled with copper coins to add to my deposit here!

He smiled, clearly delighted, but did not yield in the slightest.

-Young lady, you're becoming quite endearing to me! But the commission stays as stated. As for one of my servants, he can accompany you right now.

The recovery and transport of the remaining stolen goods turned out to be a true adventure—a comic one, perhaps, to a superficial mind like mine in those days, and maybe of the worrisome kind to a mind accustomed to correlating facts and analyzing them as a whole. 

Initially, the servant Sebastian had entrusted to me refused outright to enter the city's sewer galleries. After my insistence and especially the promise of giving him a septim, he eventually dared to follow me into the dark access tunnel in the Talos Plaza District. But after stumbling and cursing behind me for a while, just as we entered the main collector channel gallery, the man slipped and fell into a decanting hollow from which he managed to climb out only with great difficulty. Naturally, after that, he refused to take another step further, forcing me to drag the heavy sack on my own! And then, I had to retrace my steps to recover the rug...

Once we finally emerged into daylight again, I noticed that the servant was completely soaked and smelled so strongly that it would have been practically impossible for him to move through the crowded streets of the capital without drawing attention. Especially considering that he was carrying a sack filled with coins! But since my impertinence and audacity at that time knew no bounds, I wasn't deterred by these aspects. After leaving the poor man waiting for me under the arch of the access tunnel, I set out to fetch some clothes for him.

Of course, it never crossed my mind to buy a set of garments from one of the many rag peddlers who had their stalls nearby. Oh no! I was determined not to spend a single coin (I must shamefully admit that at that moment, I was scheming on how to avoid giving the servant the promised septim) and, consequently, I ventured into the bazaar not far from the Temple of the One. A bustling crowd wandered there, entering or leaving makeshift shops or browsing the stalls of traveling merchants who often made a longer stop in the Imperial City during the summer. On my way, I took full advantage of the crowd and lightened a few pockets of the inattentive owners I passed; then I entered an improvised tailor shop where the master and his two apprentices were serving customers, also adjusting the clothes either purchased here or from other traders.

After distracting the tailor by asking him to rummage through a pile of garments on the counter in search of a cashmere shawl, I asked him to show me a roll of silk visible on the highest shelf. As the man climbed a ladder to fetch the item, I felt a light, fragrant breeze enveloping me. Startled, I looked around, but I couldn't see anything unusual. Everything was as it had been: customers waiting their turn, apprentices working diligently, all enveloped in the scorching heat of the summer afternoon.

Yet my soul felt as light as a snowflake, and my mind was clear as crystal. Just like on that long-ago winter evening when I first met Maria, I began to perceive the sensations and emotions of the people around me. I also noticed light with an intensity I had never experienced before; the dimness inside the shop was so luminous that my unaccustomed eyes protested. Every sound seemed to reverberate off the shop's walls, crystal clear and perfectly intelligible. I could even hear a mouse gnawing discreetly beneath the floorboards.

When the tailor returned with the roll of silk I had requested, I saw him open his eyes in surprise as he looked toward where I was standing—surprised, and then annoyed and exasperated.

"But where is the little lady? She asked me to bring this..." he said with a huff, slamming the fabric onto the counter.

I immediately understood what had happened, and it frightened me a little. Until then, Nocturnal's gift had never activated in such a way—in broad daylight and amidst a crowd! I raised my left hand and looked at it, but I saw nothing. That's when I truly became afraid and began to tremble. But the voice of my Mistress resounded at once, firm and clear within me:

"Be thou not a fool, sweet dove! I am with thee now, and I would have us make merry together. Take whatsoever doth please thee from yonder counter!"

I obeyed, acting mechanically, like one of those intricate contraptions sometimes found in the depths of the Dwemer Ruins. I took a set of clothes for the servant waiting for me in the city's sewer; two brightly colored ribbons, a cute little skirt, and a richly adorned leather vest for myself; and, of course, I didn't forget the roll abandoned by the tailor on the counter. I thought that was all, but then Nocturnal spoke again:

"Verily, thou dost disappoint me. Thou hast yet to gain the skills most needful for thy station anew. Go thou hence and pry open the counter's drawer! Behold, the merchant doth even now turn to measure yon woman..." she said, giggling delightedly.

I did exactly as she instructed. From the drawer, I took all the gold coins and some of the silver ones. Then, moving lightly and slipping between the people in the shop, I stepped into the blinding daylight outside.

I stopped, swaying and trembling. The blinding light overwhelmed me, and all the sounds and smells around me assaulted my senses savagely. I could perceive the aura of contentment or misery surrounding the people nearby and vaguely understand their immediate intentions. But this last ability was still unclear and barely intelligible to me at the time. I felt as though I might faint and crouched on the ground. That's when my Mistress's voice rang out again—harsh this time:

"Fall not, thou wretched worm! Think not thyself so frail as to yield afore the feeble emanations of lesser minds. Rise, press on, and halt not! By mine command, thou shalt obey!"

She finished with a shout. Her resonant voice spread subtly through every corner of my being, and suddenly, I felt an extraordinary surge of energy fill me.

And indeed, I managed to walk further, weaving my way through the crowd wandering through the great bazaar at that hour of the afternoon. The light no longer hurt my eyes as it had done earlier, and my ears and nose were beginning to grow immune to the apparent assault of the myriad stimuli around me. Truth be told, it wasn't truly an aggression in this sense; rather, my heightened senses were sharpened to an incredible degree.

However, as for the wave of thoughts and feelings from the nearby people that engulfed me the moment I stepped out of the tailor's shop, things were far more complicated. Although these impressions are perceived as vibrations of varying harmonics, much like other sensory stimuli, separating, ignoring, and interpreting the various mental effluvia of mortals is a challenging task for a novice. And when the overwhelming presence of my Mistress's spiritual essence overlapped with these subtle and numerous waves, my mind could hardly withstand the flood. Without training and self-discipline, something like that could give birth to all manner of illusions—or erroneous interpretations... Though, as I adjusted to the new situation, I began to feel increasingly at ease.

And I didn't hesitate to take advantage of the circumstances for my own benefit. On my way back, I acquired a few additional pieces of jewelry and some more coins, both from people's pockets and merchants' counters. I felt Nocturnal trembling with delight during these exploits of mine, and sometimes, after a particularly daring strike, her shameless giggles were accompanied by small but intense surges of pleasure she administered to me. A pleasure of a kind entirely unknown to me before, one that made my body quiver and my soul feel as though it was soaring...

At one point, Nocturnal desired to "feast" alongside me, and as a result, my body fully returned to the mortal realm. It had not truly been in my Mistress's Oblivion plane but had remained suspended on the limb between the two worlds, leaning closer to the mortal one nonetheless. I protested mildly, as I had begun to revel in my new state, where, strangely enough, the images around me had started to blend subtly with the shadows and lights bathing the lands of my Mistress's Daedric plane. I even tried to feign concern, claiming that the servant I had left waiting might eventually leave, taking the sack of coins with him. But Nocturnal laughed and assured me that the poor man was fast asleep and would remain so until I returned.

So, I indulged in a lavish meal, accompanied by the sparkling wine from the vineyards of the Eastern Imperial regions. At the end of it, the Daedra declared herself pleased with me and noted that we had enjoyed ourselves immensely. And she decided to remain with me a little longer; we spent together many of the days that followed! Those were truly dazzling days, imbued with the restless energy her presence stirred in my private space. Nocturnal was especially attentive and tender with me during that time. In fact, we behaved just like newlyweds! The misunderstandings and quarrels would come later, just as they do in our mortal world... In any case, during that evening things unfolded so simply that life began to feel like a beautiful dream!

The servant was indeed asleep in the shadow of the archway by the main collector channel gallery in Talos Plaza District. I woke him up, and he changed into the clothes I had brought for him. Together, we returned, laden with the goods I had acquired, to Sebastian's antique shop. The old man immediately motioned for us to follow him; the usual knocks on the floor ensued, and Dara entered promptly, smiling, her fiery red hair flowing. We laid out all the goods I had brought on the big table, except for the sack of coins, which the servant had left in a corner of the room. Sebastian appraised everything and pulled a handful of gold coins from the safe, handing them to me. Then, the sack was opened under the antique dealer's smiling gaze and amid Dara's peals of laughter.

-You girls have work to do all night! 

Sebastian said sympathetically.

But Dara shook her fiery mane, wrinkled her mischievous little nose, and laughed:

-Not a chance, father! If Elsie agrees—and she must! she giggled, looking boldly into my eyes, "we'll solve the problem extremely simply and quickly!"

I looked at her questioningly and somewhat annoyed by her impudence; but I must admit, she was captivating with her sparkling, impish eyes. Nocturnal chuckled within me and whispered, "Be careful, dove! Dara is an old, sly fox..."

But Dara was far from old, and although she possessed all the vices of a fox, she also had its resourcefulness. In short, the girl suggested we go to the nearby alchemist's shop to weigh one of the coins from the sack; then we would wrap the sack in a blanket and place it on the coal merchant's scales.

Sebastian sighed but didn't protest. He got up and said:

-My esteemed client, I will now leave you to finalize the transaction as you see fit. But please remember, you are always welcome in my house; next time you visit, enter directly through the main entrance—the one with the colonnades. And please do send my regards to Shaira!

After he left, Dara and I got to work. Being tired from the day's adventures, but mostly under Dara's charm, I followed her plan for estimating the value of the copper coins from the sack. And more gold coins, which the girl fetched from the safe, were added to the gleaming pile on the table. I kept 25 septims, which I placed in the pouch at my hip, and entrusted the rest to the red-haired girl, who added them to the total noted on a parchment she handed me at the end. I didn't know how to read, not even numbers, but I took the receipt and, without looking at it, casually tucked it into the inner pocket of my vest.

-Oh, my blonde princess is so kind and trusting! 

Dara laughed, planting a kiss on my cheek. Her kiss sent shivers through my entire being, and Nocturnal chuckled softly, as if amused by my reaction. I think I blushed because Dara smiled and, slipping an arm around my waist, gently led me to the exit. At the threshold, she told me to come to her directly whenever I had goods to deliver. Then, she added:

-We should spend more time together, little princess! Why don't you drop by tomorrow evening? Maybe we can go somewhere cozy and get to know each other better...

I then went to meet Nash; I found him with a few members of our gang in a tavern where they used to linger whenever they had nothing better to do. And that had been happening very often lately... I handed our treasurer 15 septims, telling him that the money represented my contribution to the shared wealth for that month. They were all very surprised when the thick, shiny gold coins jingled on the greasy table, stained by the countless mugs of beer that had passed across it over the years. Nash sighed in relief and thanked me warmly; he then said he would ask Rolf's permission to officially add me to the gang's payroll, like any other regular member. But I laughed and told him I didn't need a wage...

I then recounted a tale worthy of a minstrel's songs; I mixed truth with so many lies and exaggerations of the dangers and hardships I had faced that I even started to believe my story! I could feel the goddess within me, vibrating with pleasure; she was thoroughly enjoying the shameless lies I was spinning! And at the end, I added that if I had been supported in my endeavor by at least one of the dudes who had wasted the whole day in the coolness of that tavern I would have been able to add more than 100 septims to the communal purse! They all opened their eyes wide and gasped in amazement; even Nash, who handled our money, had never seen such a pile of gold in one place... And then they started doubting my story, laughing like fools again as they were happily ruffling my hair!

I glared at them and shouted that they just had to check if they wanted ; I whispered the butcher's address into the treasurer's ear and left without looking back when they called after me, begging me to return to them, claiming they were only joking!

When I got home very late, Shaira was waiting for me as usual, with the lamp lit. She took me to her office, and there I told her all about the adventures I had experienced that day. This time, I told the truth, omitting only to mention Nocturnal and the significant role she had played during the string of thefts I had so brilliantly committed. But my mother somehow sensed the Goddess's presence—both as a physical manifestation, if such a term applies here, through my behavior, and in the context of the events of the day.

She visibly tensed as I recounted my story, and at the end, when I showed her the note Dara had given me in exchange for the money I deposited, she flinched violently, and her gaze became uncertain.

I felt the fear enveloping her, and it saddened me deeply. I stood up and went to hug her, hoping for the affectionate caresses she sometimes sparingly offered. But she gently pushed me away and said as she handed back the piece of parchment:

-You're a wealthy girl now, Elsie! And all of us in this family will do everything we can from now on to show you the profound respect we hold for you!

I protested, intimidated and saddened. I told her I loved them all and would always remain her loyal daughter. But Shaira shook her head and refused to add anything to what she had said. She never looked me in the eyes during our conversation; whenever I tried to catch her gaze to see her reactions to what I was telling, she always looked away, staring down at the intricate patterns of the rug on the floor. At the end, she told me to follow her, and she led me to Rasha's room.

My brother's room had been kept locked by our mother, who had also maintained it in perfect cleanliness and order. Shaira told me that from now on, I would sleep there and that the next morning, my sisters would bring all my personal belongings. She then asked me which of them I preferred as a servant... Oh, that was too much for me! I replied that I would not allow any of them to humble themselves before me and added that I was more their servant than they were mine, and that I wished with all my heart to contribute to the well-being and happiness of that family. But Shaira didn't say anything more, and after giving me a slight bow, she left the room, softly closing the door behind her. I was left alone... Well, perhaps "alone" isn't the best word to use here; but I did feel abandoned and sad. The joy of triumph I had felt all evening suddenly vanished, replaced by a sense of futility.

Though, there was nothing better to do than to try to sleep, so I lay down on the bed. The bed where my brother Rasha had slept for so many years, even before we had met! This only added to the sadness that made my soul vibrate painfully. I deeply regretted the days when I had been so ill and had spent them surrounded by the love of this wonderful family! And most of all, I missed the steady gaze of Rasha, his cruel and relentless eyes, in which I had often found true wells of strength and resolve... But I eventually managed to fall asleep; to sleep and dream, and it was the first night I spent with my Mistress. In my case, the sleep in Daedra's arms is always strange and restless, and the corresponding dreams are always filled with bizarre images and scenes, all bathed in the peculiar light of the sun there—a light that in my dream world is always filtered through the leaf-laden branches of that Tree which thrives in Evergloam. But back then, I didn't understand any of it, and the strange dreams only left me with the unpleasant feeling of being more tired in the morning than when I had gone to bed...

And indeed, many things in my life changed the next day. As soon as I woke up, I heard a timid knock on my door. One of my sisters had come to tell me I was being sought by a man. I asked her to describe him, and I understood it was Rolf. Knowing that Shaira couldn't stand the man, I dressed as quickly as I could and went out into the courtyard, where he was waiting rather impatiently. I looked at him questioningly; he had never crossed the threshold of this house before, and I didn't think it was the right time to start now. But Rolf smiled at me, grabbed my hand, and pulled me out the gate, onto the street, which was already beginning to fill with hurried people.

On the way, he apologized several times for the behavior of the boys, who, he said, only meant to joke with their dear friend. In fact, all of them only wanted to collaborate with me and were very eager to listen to my plans; and since I was an old member of the gang, I couldn't abandon them now, especially when things were going so poorly. Rolf added this while gripping my hand tightly. He cast me tender glances from time to time, and I was overjoyed...

At the "Hoarse Rooster," our tavern, nearly all of our friends had gathered, though not all of them were permanent members of the gang. The place had been closed that day because the boys had organized a party in my honor! During the gathering, I was confirmed as a full-fledged member of the gang amidst cheers and applause from everyone. I can't say I was overwhelmed with emotion; still, the recognition I received from these rough men was like balm to my pride and gave me an intense urge to prove my worth to them.

I didn't stay long at the party they'd thrown for me; when their voices became hoarse and unsteady from countless bottles of liquor emptied, I quietly bid farewell to Rolf and Nash and went home.

I proudly recounted the story to my mother. Shaira, who, as I've mentioned before, didn't approve of this sort of connection at all, listened to my tale calmly. She neither protested nor commented on anything I said. After I finished, she simply remarked that it might be time for me to learn how to read figures and numbers; and above all, to learn how to calculate.

Shaira, like everyone else in the family, couldn't read or write; but she alone among them mastered the magic of arithmetic and was extremely skilled at adding long columns of numbers using only her memory. As for me, although I was initially delighted by my mother's initiative, I must admit that all the learning she forced into my poor young head was so hard to grasp and assimilate that I often felt ready to give up. But Shaira was unyielding in this regard! Unlike any other aspect of our relationship after that memorable night when I came home bearing Dara's deposit certificate, she was immovable when it came to the study of arithmetic. Despite my struggles, she persisted until I could perform complex arithmetic operations.

Otherwise, our family dynamics had radically shifted. Except for my father and the little ones, all the other members of the family showed me special respect, and the older ones often brought me monetary gifts from their occupations. At first, I was embarrassed and refused to accept them. However, Shaira explained that these offerings honored the Goddess, who might take offense if neglected. My mother was always very respectful and even fearful when speaking about Nocturnal in my presence; she spoke few words, all carefully chosen, making it clear that she was determined to express her unconditional submission and total respect for the Daedra. This clearly flattered the goddess, but only in her peculiar way...

I often sensed her explicit disdain for Shaira and the other members of my beloved family. This deeply saddened me, and at times I wished I could voice the confusion and revolt I felt about her attitude. But back then, Nocturnal had yet to grant me the privilege of conversing with her and, more often than not, referred to me as "worm" in her monologues... Moreover, she disliked almost everyone in my circle; only Dara pleased her, and she never stopped praising her great intelligence. 

In any case, she particularly disapproved of Ra'ha, who, like any true artist, had a highly independent spirit and a free-spirited demeanor; moreover, he had the habit of mocking gods and Daedric Princes, both on stage during his theatrical performances and in private. For me, however, my beloved father's behavior, along with the carefree affection of my younger brothers and sisters, represented true oases of familial love during this brief period we still had to spend together in the mortal realm of sorrow...

I could feel Nocturnal sneering mockingly while Shaira trembled in fear whenever I played with my little sisters, who couldn't resist the feline race's characteristic desires to cuddle and be noticed. Or when my father caressed me and asked, laughing, what other mischief his disobedient daughter had been up to that day... But I felt ashamed in front of Ra'ha and, while I proudly shared my wicked deeds with Shaira, I never shared them with my father.

To these changes that had disrupted my previously habitual way of life, another ominous development was added: my new position within the gang, where I had been spending most of my time. I had almost immediately become the main contributor to the organization's funds, which only served to greatly increase my influence and, at a certain point, my authority among the gang members. I was wise enough not to undermine Rolf's leadership, keeping Nash as treasurer and advisor; through the two of them, I effectively became the leader of the gang for the next six months. During this time, our power grew, and from a mere neighborhood gang, we rose to the level of an organization that sought to consolidate the cream of the Imperial City's underworld and dictate its behavior towards the merchants and craftsmen of the capital.

I replaced the harsh methods employed by my partners with ones that were far more subtle and, as it turned out, much more effective. Those who refused to pay the protection fee were no longer threatened or physically assaulted. Instead, shortly after declining our politely presented offer, various strange and harmful events began occurring around them. Sometimes, in the dead of night, they and their families were awakened by whispers, shouts, or the sound of breaking glass or mirrors belonging to them; no matter how hard they searched, groping through the darkness with their lamps—lamps that had the nasty habit of suddenly going out in the darkest corners of their residence—they could never find a trace of the being that sometimes tugged at their clothes or tripped them, causing them to tumble to the floor. Other times, upon waking from sleep, they would find the interior walls of their homes or shops decorated with strange symbols or messages painted—usually in red paint—announcing various misfortunes that would befall them or their trade. And some of these misfortunes did indeed come to pass if the merchant continued to refuse to contribute to the 'poor relief fund,' as we called it! Bakers' flour stocks were suddenly drenched in rancid oil in their warehouses; barrels of wine, with stoppers removed or drilled, sometimes flooded the cellars of uncooperative innkeepers in the middle of the night; bags full of live rats were occasionally emptied during the night into the shops of stubborn grocers... Even important and relatively wealthy craftsmen could face all sorts of troubles: blacksmiths and armorers would suddenly find their tools missing—no matter how often they replaced them with new ones or how securely they locked them away in chests or cabinets, they kept vanishing without a trace. Or their apprentices, especially the newer ones, would all leave at once without notice. Alchemists who ignored our polite requests might find themselves facing a wave of so-called disgruntled customers making a scene all day outside their laboratories, warning the public about the poor-quality or even dangerous products sold by these merchants. Or an anonymous tip would prompt an inspection by an Order patrol, which would inevitably discover a small vial of skooma among the countless jars and instruments in the shop... Oh, we used so many tricks and intimidation tactics that simply listing them all could fill several pages of a manuscript! 

What matters is that, in the end, even the most stubborn among them reluctantly chose to pay the protection fee, unable to withstand the meticulously planned campaign of intimidation. Of course, a few tried appealing to the authorities before ultimately succumbing to our terms. The officials were unable to curb the surge of intimidation spreading through the commercial and artisanal districts of the capital, but they soon began to notice a peculiar pattern: a short-statured, well-dressed, and unusually polite young woman with an air of naivety. This figure, despite varying her attire each time, surfaced far too frequently in the complaints of merchants to remain unnoticed. It wasn't long before the Order's watchful eyes began to turn toward me...

At the same time, we began protecting all the inhabitants of the Merchant District from any kind of theft or crime that might harm them. Very quickly, we became respected and even beloved by the simple, poor people living there, where our base of operations was located. This earned us the support of ordinary citizens and provided countless hiding places, practically impossible for the armed monks of the Order of Stendarr to search. On the other hand, our actions in this regard significantly disrupted the Thieves Guild's activities in this area of the capital... Initially, they sent messages and warnings, which we nonchalantly ignored. But from the moment a member of our gang was assassinated as he left his home, I decided to retaliate. With the help of my Mistress, who was very excited by everything unfolding under her divine gaze, our response was devastating! In just one week, we eliminated all remaining, unassimilated remnants of rival gangs and made the members of the Thieves Guild so afraid that they no longer dared even to set foot in the Merchant District.

Through all these actions and schemes, inspired, guided, and aided by Nocturnal, I became virtually the shadow leader of the entire organized, unaffiliated underworld, which only attracted more attention from the higher leadership of the Order of Stendarr... Of course, whispers from Guild representatives slipping into the vigilant ears of the authorities also played a role in the growing interest shown by the officials!

My mother Shaira had begun to warn me—initially timidly, but increasingly sternly—about the danger looming over my head and, as she often mentioned, over our entire family. But I was far too confident in the infallibility of my methods and the providential luck that seemed to overwhelm me with its grace in those days. I can even say that the notoriety I had achieved filled me with reckless pride and spurred me on to increasingly rash acts. And so, I continued down the path of wrongdoing and ruin, with no possibility of turning back...

Thus, the autumn and winter of that year passed almost in the blink of an eye. Completely absorbed as I was by the increasingly demanding duties of my position within the gang and my relationship with Dara, I took notice with indifference when the war between the Empire and the Dominion resumed with the start of the following spring. Not even the fall of the fortified city of Leyawiin, without the slightest resistance, into the greedy hands of the elves impressed me. I regarded the waves of refugees, this time from the County of Skingrad, who began flooding the capital, merely as an additional source of concern for the Order of Stendarr. Consequently, I decided it was time to extend our group's influence to the Talos Plaza District.

From that moment on, a collective madness ensnared us all in its murky grip. The great city was now shaken by street battles between our boys and mercenaries hired by the Thieves Guild. Refugees, growing in number and desperation, filled every public square and park in the Imperial City to the brim; following them, just as flocks of scavenging birds always accompany armies, a multitude of independent criminals appeared in the capital, pushing the confusion of those days to the extreme. And the fighting monks began to wield swords instead of their traditional maces...

Amid this grim and unsettling backdrop, on a windy and chilly spring day, tragedy struck our family with devastating force. My father, Ra'ha, in a moment of incomprehensible recklessness, attempted to pickpocket a nobleman—a trade he had long abandoned. Unaware of the two bodyguards shadowing the lord, Ra'ha was caught in the act and subdued by the guards. By a cruel twist of fate, one of my brothers happened to be nearby. Seeing the commotion, he rushed to Ra'ha's aid. The confrontation escalated; one of the bodyguards was killed, my brother fell in the struggle, and the city's fighting monks intervened, arresting my father. The trial was swift, and Ra'ha was sentenced to hang. My mother, desperate to save him, leveraged every connection and a significant portion of the family's wealth. Her efforts succeeded: by Imperial decree, Ra'ha was pardoned and released.

But the Brotherhood of Stendarr, long exasperated by the chaos tied to our family—especially my own exploits—decided to take matters into their own hands. That same night, under the leadership of Grandmaster Ser Gregorius Clegius, the so-called 'Holy Mountain,' a vengeful mob descended upon our home. They murdered my entire family and burned our house to ashes.

I survived, not by strength or cunning, but through the gift of Nocturnal. As the flames devoured the life I once knew, I fled, leaving behind grief, guilt, and remorse. What remained was only the shadow of who I had been—and the promise of what I would become.