V4: C14: I Just Wanted… To Be Happy…
The silence that followed Kuro's descent into sleep was of a different quality than before. It was the dense, charged stillness that follows a cataclysm. Nyxara remained motionless, Kuro's dead weight a sacred anchor. Statera was already there, her hand on Nyxara's back, a steadying pressure as they both watched the slow, even rise and fall of their son's chest. With a synchronized, weary care, they untangled his limbs from the furs and laid him down beside his brother, their four hands arranging the covers around him with a shared tenderness.
As she stepped away from the divan, the air in the sanctum changed. The gentle pulse of her multi hued light, usually a symphony of soft colours, flickered and died. In its place, a corona of absolute blackness began to emanate from her, shot through with furious, dying star hues of deep violet and blood crimson. The temperature plummeted. The very light in the room seemed to bend and be sucked toward her, a localized gravitational anomaly of pure rage.
Statera did not flinch from the destructive aura. She stepped into its periphery, not to stop it, but to witness it, to share its burden. Her own Polaris light did not fight the darkness but held its edge, a silent partner in the fury.
She took three slow, deliberate steps away from her sleeping son, each footfall silent on the stone. She stopped before the smooth, frozen wall of the sanctum. Her hands, which had been so gentle moments before, clenched into fists so tight the bones threatened to break through the skin.
The anger did not explode; it imploded.
The memories of Shiro's desperate, slum born pleas to die and Kuro's systematic dismantling over star charts fused into a single, intolerable truth.
With a sound that was less a roar and more the shriek of reality tearing, she drove her fist into the wall. It was not a punch of flesh and bone, but a release of the cosmic fury she had been forced to swallow while watching her sons be unmade. The stone did not crack; it unmade. A web of black, vein like fissures spread out from the point of impact, not marring the surface but seeming to erase it, creating a patch of absolute, light devouring void that sizzled with anti energy. The air smelled of ozone, the iron tang of a star's death throes, and the ghost of a little boy's crushed fingers.
She stood there, chest heaving, her back to the room, radiating a hatred so profound it felt like a new physical law. The question echoed in the silent, frozen chamber of her mind, not in words, but in a wave of nauseating revulsion: Was he ever human? What manner of thing could do that to a child? Then another his own flesh? And I let it… The memories Kuro had vomited forth, the broken wrist for a celestial calculation, the strangulation for a semantic disagreement, were not the acts of a man. They were the rituals of a thing that worshipped only its own, perfect cruelty. Ryo Oji was not a king. He was a sentient disease. And her son, her son, had been his breeding ground.
The rage subsided as quickly as it had come, the terrifying darkness around her collapsing back into her form, leaving only the faint, smoking patch of void on the wall as a testament. She slumped, the immense weight of what she had witnessed crushing down on her. She turned, her face ashen, her eyes meeting Statera's across the room. No words were needed. Statera's own Polaris light was dim, flickering with a shared, sickened horror. Lucifera watched from the shadows, her usual impassivity replaced by a stark, cold understanding of the evil they faced.
For a time, the three women simply existed in the heavy quiet, the sleeping forms of the twins a stark counterpoint to the waking nightmare they now fully comprehended.
"He... he broke his wrist," Nyxara finally whispered, the words ash in her mouth, the memory of Kuro's phantom agony vivid. "For seeing a truth in the stars."
Statera's hand found hers, gripping tight. "Just as they broke our rain baby's spirit for wanting to be loved," she said, her voice hollow with the echo of Shiro's desperate weeping. "They are two sides of the same monstrous coin."
"The methodology is a consistent paradigm of absolute domination," Lucifera stated, her clinical tone acknowledging the unified nature of the assault. "Both were punished for the crime of independent existence. The correction was tailored, but the principle was identical."
They spoke in low, haunted tones for what felt like an eternity, dissecting the horror, trying to build a cage of understanding around it so it might be contained. It was a futile effort. The darkness Kuro had revealed was a bottomless pit.
It was into this fragile attempt at processing that the other half of their shared trauma erupted. Shiro, who had been sleeping peacefully after his own harrowing journey through the slums, was dragged back under.
A low, guttural moan tore from his throat, different in texture from Kuro's intellectual terror but born from the same well of absolute pain. His body went rigid.
"No... not the pyre... not again..." he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep and the same dread that had gripped him hours before. "Mother... get down... the smoke... it's in my mouth..."
The three women fell silent, watching. Nyxara's hand instinctively went to Kuro's shoulder, ensuring he was anchored in sleep, while her gaze, full of a shared, aching empathy, remained locked on Shiro. They were two watchmen on a single wall, guarding both fronts.
Shiro's face, already marred by the horrific X, contorted in fresh agony. "The fire… it's taking her…moth …!" His voice broke, a sound of pure, childish despair. Then, the dream shifted, as it always did, the face on the pyre melting and reforming in his mind's eye. "AKI! NO! AKI, DON'T LOOK AT ME! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY I COULDN'T SAVE YOU!"
Tears streamed from his closed eye, tracing paths through the sweat on his temples. He began to thrash, just as Kuro had, but his was a dance of a different trauma, one of helpless witnessing, of survivor's guilt etched into his soul with fire.
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"Don't leave me!" he screamed, the sound tearing through the sanctum. "Please! Don't go! Don't leave me alone here!"
He was suspended in the space between dream and reality, the past overwriting the present. His nostrils flared, and he gagged. "I can smell it… the burning hair… the burnt flesh… it's her… it's always her…"
His voice dropped to a desperate, broken whisper, the words a mantra of self flagellation. "I'm weak… I'm stupid… I'm pathetic… I should have died there with… I should have thrown myself on the flames…"
Then his voice rose again, sharp and laced with a betrayal so profound it seemed to shake the very foundations of his being. He wasn't just talking to the phantom in his dream; he was screaming at the universe.
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?" The cry was a shard of glass to the heart. "YOU LEFT ME ALONE IN A WORLD OF PAIN! NO ONE TO LOOK TO! NO HOPE! NOTHING! YOU BURNED AND YOU LEFT ME IN THE DARK!"
He sobbed, great, wracking things that stole his breath. "Why… why did you leave… why did you fucking burn…? The world is so dark… I just want to die… I never wanted a war… never… I just wanted to be happy… I just wanted to be loved…"
That was the core of it. The wound that festered beneath the brand, beneath the defiance, beneath the chaos. A little boy, abandoned to a world of knives, whose only wish had been a simple, impossible one.
Statera was moving before the last word had fully left his lips. Her own pain, her exhaustion, vanished. A force took over. She crossed the room and gathered him up, not with gentle caution, but with a fierce, consuming possessiveness. She pulled him into her lap, rocking him, her arms a vise around his trembling body.
"I am here! I am here, my rain baby! I did not leave you! I will never leave you!" Her tears fell onto his face, mingling with his. "The fire is gone! The dark is gone! I am your light! Do you hear me? I am your mother, and I am HERE!" Her voice was a desperate, fierce promise. As she held him, Nyxara moved behind her, one hand on Statera's trembling back, the other resting on Shiro's heaving side, completing the circle. They were a triad, a unit of care.
She looked over his trembling head and met Nyxara's gaze, a silent message passing between them. He is mine, and he is yours. We are both here.
She held him through the storm of his nightmare, her voice a constant, desperate litany against the ghosts in his head. She rocked him, not with a lullaby's rhythm, but with the fierce, steady motion of a ship battling a hurricane.
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?" The cry was a shard of glass to the heart. "YOU LEFT ME ALONE IN A WORLD OF PAIN!
He screamed the words, his body arching against her hold, a fresh wave of tremors seizing him. Statera tightened her embrace, her arms becoming living bonds. "I am here! I did not leave! I am holding you, Shiro! Feel my hands! Feel my heart!"
He collapsed back against her, sobbing, the anger spent for a moment, leaving only the bottomless well of grief. "Why…" he whimpered, the word a broken thing now, soaked in tears. "Why did you burn…? Why did you have to burn…?"
His voice was quieter, but the pain was, if anything, more acute. It was no longer a shout at the heavens, but a whispered confession to a ghost. He repeated it, like a prayer to a deaf god, each "why" a stone dropped into the void of his loss. "Why… why…?"
Statera rocked him, her own tears a continuous stream. She didn't try to answer the unanswerable. Instead, she offered the only truth she had. "I don't know, my love. I don't know why such darkness exists. But I am here now. In this darkness, I am your light. I will be your light for a thousand years if I must."
His breathing was still ragged, hitching on every other sob. The phantom smell of burning flesh still seemed to clog his nostrils; he gagged again, a dry, painful sound. "I can smell it… Mother… I can still smell it…"
The plea was a direct echo of his earlier fever, where the scent of burning hair and flesh had been as real as the stone around them. Statera's heart clenched, remembering how he had gagged then, too, poisoned by a memory.
"Breathe me in," Statera urged, pressing his face against the fabric of her tunic, which carried the simple, clean scents of soap and her own unique Polaris essence, a smell of frost and starlight. "Breathe through me. Let my scent be the air. Let my heartbeat be the only rhythm."
Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the frantic tension in his body began to loosen. Each repetition of "why" was fainter, less a question and more a sigh of utter exhaustion. The violent shuddering subsided into a fine, constant tremor, like a plucked string finally losing its vibration. His grip on her, which had been desperate and clawing, softened, his hands instead fisting weakly in her clothes as if she were the only solid thing in a dissolving world.
"The world is so dark…" he mumbled, his voice thick and slurred with sleep pulling him under once more. "I just wanted… to be happy…"
"I know, my darling. I know." Statera rocked him, a slow, ceaseless motion. "And we will find happiness. I promise you. Not the world's happiness. Ours. In spite of everything."
His next "why" was barely audible, a breath against her neck. Then there was only the shaky intake of air, and a long, shuddering exhalation. The tremor in his limbs stilled. The weight of him in her arms became complete, a surrender not to sleep, but to a trust so profound it allowed the nightmares to recede. His breathing deepened, evening out into the slow, heavy rhythm of true, defenceless rest.
Statera did not let go. She adjusted her position, holding him fast, making herself his bed, his shield, his sanctuary. The echoes of his cries seemed to hang in the air long after he had fallen silent.
Nyxara watched Statera's unwavering vigil, her own heart aching with a shared, boundless love. She looked at the two broken boys, now sleeping, and then at the woman who was now her partner in this sacred duty.
"We should rest," she said softly, her voice thick with emotion.
"While we can." She moved to the divan, lying down behind Kuro, wrapping her body around his, mirroring Statera's protective posture with Shiro.
They were a matched set of guardians.
Lucifera gave a single, silent nod and retreated to the spare room. Nyxara moved to the divan, lying down beside Kuro, wrapping her body around his, mirroring Statera's protective posture. She pressed her forehead against his back, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing.
In the quiet dark, the two mothers whispered into the ears of their sons, their voices blending into a single, soft sound against the immense silence.
"No one will ever hurt our sons again," Statera murmured into Shiro's hair, her lips brushing his temple, the vow meant for both sleeping forms.
"The storms are over," Nyxara whispered against Kuro's shoulder, her hand splayed over his heart, her promise echoing through the sanctum.
"The stars and the rain are yours. You are our boys. You are so, so loved. You are safe. You are home."
The Algol rage, the Polaris grief, the Sirius analysis, it all faded away, leaving only the most ancient magic of all. The sanctum grew still, occupied by the soft sound of breathing. The world outside, with its councils and its wars, ceased to exist. Battle plans were for tomorrow. But tomorrow could wait. For now, there was only this: a mother and her rain baby, a queen and her storm baby, clinging to each other in the dark, their love a fragile, defiant light against the terrors they knew, and the greater terrors still to come.
From the doorway of the spare room, Lucifera watched the four of them, two mothers, two sons, finally at rest. The data was overwhelming. The fractures in her own core, first from Shiro's pleas and then from Kuro's corrosion, were not system failures. They were integrations of a new, illogical, and undeniable variable: Family. Its defence was not just a strategic objective. It was the objective.
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