The Simulacrum

I was a bit of a community builder.

…

Normally, this would've been the point where I would spin that statement into a joke, or act facetious about it, but not this time. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I was pretty good at it too. While I never explicitly set out to bring people together, I still had an extensive track record of doing so. First, it was just the underground base, with the Fauns and the Kage ninjas and the Research Society. Then the Draconians and Knights, and the formation of the Ordo Draconis. Finally, there were the Praetorian Guards and brokering something resembling a ceasefire between the Elysium and the Assembly. One could even say I had a knack for this kind of thing.

Of course, I couldn't exactly take all the credit for everything that transpired, but if I insisted, I had a feeling few people would object to my claims. Considering all that, getting my own Abyssal village off the ground was pretty straightforward in comparison.

Deep in the northwestern reaches of Ninhursag territory, a small settlement was taking shape, growing larger and more vibrant by the day. It wasn't very far from the 'old' camp I set up using the surplus military tents; only about half an hour of trekking through the woods on foot, give or take ten minutes. That place was steadily emptying out nowadays as more and more of its refugees moved to our hitherto nameless village. Some wished to call it something like 'The Emperor's Rest', but it was too on the nose, so I asked them to workshop it a bit more.

That said, the name itself wouldn't have been wrong. Since I couldn't visit my friends on Critias, and I couldn't interact much with present-me due to timey-wimey reasons, this place became my home away from home as of late. The Ninhursags were officially neutral in the civil war, and since we were as far as it could get from the major population centers, our little hidden village was essentially an island of tranquillity. Here I could kick back, put up my feet, and relax a bit without having to worry about annoying incidents or unwelcome visitors.

Most of the time, at least.

In front of my ethereal eyes, a small group disembarked from a boat at a good distance south of the village. The Abyss had few roads to begin with, and due to the inability to import oil on an industrial scale, asphalt was out of the question. Of course, there were a few workarounds using all kinds of magical malarkey, but those required specialists with specific power-sets, so only the main highways were up to modern standards while the majority of the road infrastructure was still dirt- and cobblestone-based.

Even those were a luxury out here in the proverbial boondocks, and since the majority of Abyssals weren't able to fly (or teleport, thought that went without saying), boats and trains were still the most efficient way to get to the ballpark of one's destination. The disembarked trio's objective was clearly our settlement, but they would have to travel the rest of the way on foot. Not a particularly glamorous way to make one's entrance, but what did they expect? Even if we had a car or carriage lying around, we could hardly send one to pick them up when we officially didn't know they were coming.

The men soon set out on their journey. The small procession consisted of only two important-looking dignitaries, followed by about half a dozen guards and personal servants and/or lackeys. The one at the front was a portly middle-aged man with a bowler hat and a tidy grey suit. That was Blaireau Namtar, officially the liaison between me and House Ninhursag. Also, their spymaster in the same function as Tajana had for House Inanna, but I wasn't supposed to know that. He was the only one in the group I'd met and marked before.

Slightly behind him and to the left walked a tall and scrawny-looking fellow in a black tailcoat that was eminently way too thick for the weather, as he was sweating profusely. He was also carrying a big brown briefcase, but that was all. He was clearly a unique placeholder at best, but just the fact that he was there meant he was probably at least somewhat important. The rest, not so, as they were about as generic placeholder as it got.

They were still some distance away, so I minded my own business and busied myself with some random things until they reached the outskirts of the village. Descending from a forested hill, they've got a scenic view of the shallow valley and the rapidly expanding settlement nestled at its bottom, with the shoreline barely visible in the distance. It would've looked even better if the sky had a more natural colour, but I was slowly getting used to all the redness.

Anyhow, the village was centred around the main square, with streets extending from it like the spokes of a wheel. All the buildings were recent constructions, with even more of them being built on the outskirts at this moment. The very edges still had lots of tents, but they were being gradually replaced by simple cottages made of wood and clay bricks, while the vicinity of the square had all the more impressive buildings, such as the canteen, the hospital, or the Faun barracks.

Oh, right. We had Fauns, too. I mean, it should've been obvious that I wasn't only spiriting away Abyssals whenever the opportunity presented itself, but it was better to say it out loud. Oh, and speaking of the devil, the delegation just ran into a group of them carrying a whole-ass tree trunk on their shoulders from a nearby logging site.

"Man of Ninhursag?" the Faun at the front spoke up in a grumbling voice. He was the classic ram-like phenotype, and if my memory served right, he belonged to a squad under House Gula until he went missing in action (read: he fell off a cliff during a battle, so I picked him up). The rest had similar backstories as well. "Looking for Emperor?"

The portly man at the front looked a bit startled, and maybe a bit intimidated by the half-naked ram-man's pectorals on display, but he hastily cleared his throat and spoke up in a nasal voice.

"Yes, indeed. Can you perhaps tell me where we can find him?"

"Not sure," the Faun responded off-handedly and jerked his head towards the main square. "Emperor is there. Usually. Around this time."

"I… see. Don't let us hold you up." The Fauns nodded and continued on with their wood-transporting duties. It was only once they were out of earshot that the man let out a soft huff and turned to his companion. "Can you believe it? Fauns doing menial tasks like that? Who are they trying to fool?"

The lanky man walking next to him didn't react, so they soon continued on their way.

Funnily enough, the only reason the settlement progressed as much as it did was because of the Fauns. Just like the average modern human, the average Abyssal wasn't exactly well-versed in building basic infrastructure or foraging either. Conversely, the Fauns had a knack for both of those and put them to good use. As a matter of fact, they were so competent that, between them and our own Fauns' escapades back home, I was starting to doubt whether the Fauns were always a designated 'proud warrior race' or more of a 'handyman race' that fell into a different role over time.

Though again, they initially refused to lend a hand and claimed that such blue-collar jobs were beneath them, but once I knocked some sense into them through the Rite of Dominance, they turned on a dime and couldn't wait to start building houses, so who the heck knew?

But speaking of which, those weren't the only things being built right now. As the group approached the center of the settlement, other essential constructions could be seen as well. First and foremost, we had over a dozen wells. It would've been impossible to dig out that many of them in such a short time, but one of the Abyssals I nabbed had some kind of unique ancestry or something that let her move earth with her magic, so she's been on well-digging duty since then. That was lucky; otherwise, I would've had to import drinking water too, on top of all the food.

Speaking of food, while there were some attempts at gardening, and House Ninhursag did provide us with a token amount of supplies, I had to bring in non-perishable foodstuffs by the container-load to keep everyone well-fed and happy. Fortunately enough, a couple of the non-combatants I rescued had cooking experience, so we didn't have to rely solely on the MREs I smuggled out of the underground base anymore. Hopefully the foraging situation would solve itself by the time the village went public, but that was a completely different topic altogether.

We also had to take care of sanitation, but while the same legally-distinct-earth-bender woman could theoretically help us dig out sewage tunnels, it was a bit too much work for just one person (especially when she was already busy with the wells), so I had to improvise by 'importing' a couple hundred port-a-potties from Critias. Once again, I was in awe of how easy it was to procure the weirdest of things on the internet.

Which reminded me of the things we didn't have. Namely, electricity. While the tech-level of the Abyss was much higher than the Elysium, and the majority of the inhabitants had access to indoor plumbing and the electric grid, we couldn't exactly connect our settlement to those. Not just because this was a secret village, but also because we were in the ass-end of nowhere, and high-voltage electric lines didn't grow on trees.

I contemplated bringing Fred and Galatea over, and having them make one of those matter-deconstructor generators we had in the base, which would've taken care of both the sewage, the drinking water, and the electricity problems in one fell swoop… but those things used Ley-lines as their power source, which the Abyss didn't have, so it was a stillborn idea.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

As such, entertainment options were scarce, though not necessarily in high demand. Most of my villagers were kept busy with construction and farming projects, and the adults already had their own way to amuse themselves, so to speak. At the very least, the number of couples in the village was rising by the day, and I was sure they kept each other entertained in private.

The same couldn't be said about the children, and while there weren't a whole lot of them (I generally preferred to steer things so that they wouldn't get involved in civil war clashes, to begin with) and they were eager to 'earn their keep' by helping out with errands and small tasks, kids were meant to be kids, and so I took it upon myself to find ways to bring at least a little bit of colour into their disrupted lives.

I was doing exactly that when the Ninhursag delegation finally found me standing at the edge of a recently cleared-up patch of dusty turf wedged into the otherwise densely packed centre of the village. I waited for them to get close enough, and then I raised a hand to stop the kids playing in front of me and turned to welcome our guests.

"Ah, Mister Namtar? What brings you to the heart of the Axis of Evil on this hot summer day?"

My exclamation made the children around me giggle uncontrollably. Six boys and girls, ages ranging from preschooler to high school freshman and wearing colourful but functional modern clothing that I also 'imported' from the outside world. I'd have to get them something more culturally appropriate later, but for now, it was good enough. They skipped and hopped to the side, making sure not to accidentally touch and smudge the complex lines etched into the surface of the ground, occupying about two-thirds of the field.

"Good day to you, Lord Bel," the man at the forefront greeted me back and wiped his forehead. "It is certainly hot today, and…" He fell silent, eyes glued to the lines on the ground. He scrutinised them for a while, as if trying to decipher some kind of arcane formula, but he soon gave up and shook his head. "Is this some sort of ward, or…?"

"Oh, nothing of the sort!" I turned around and opened my arms wide for dramatic effect. "The children are the future, and I don't want them to grow up boring, because nobody wants a boring future, so I'm teaching them Paradox-Billiards-Siberian-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Hopscotch."

"I… understand…" He clearly didn't, but I had to give it to the guy, he was flexible. After concluding that he couldn't make heads or tails of what I said, he stepped forward and gestured at the man by his side. "I'm here today to conduct a census with the help of…"

"Hold your horses!" I interrupted him in a low voice. "You're treading a dangerous line…" I let that linger for a moment, then Phased right between him and the lanky man with the briefcase and pointed at his feet. "Literally. You're standing on the B-21 Quadrant line. In Paradox-Billiards-Siberian-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Hopscotch, making this move allows everyone between the A-12 Quadrant and the C-9 Hoopla to give you a free kick unless you can escape to the C-1 Parallelogram before they can recite the first sixteen digits of Pi!"

My sudden relocation caused a bit of a stir among the hangers-on. Even the rotund man, who was already used to my shenanigans due to our previous encounters, flinched and took a step to the side. Not the other guy, though.

"Mister Bel, we are here on serious business," the placeholder-looking man spoke up again, sounding almost disinterested.

"This is serious business," I insisted and gestured at the kids. "They have pointy shoes, and they're absolutely vicious! Look at their eyes! They're like predators, waiting for the moment you let your guard down, and the moment you cross the line…!" I abruptly stopped and pointed at the field. "Namely that line, and that one, plus that one over there, but only if there's nobody in the A-5 Quadrant and your shadow doesn't touch the B-1 Hoopla. But enough about the rules; the point is that the moment you show an opening, they'll go straight for your shin, and by then it'll be too late for regrets."

The expressionless man still didn't react, but instead he opened his briefcase and began to rummage through it.

"Mister Bel, I must insist that we conduct the census as soon as possible. This land is Ninhursag territory, and as such, we must know the—"

"Emperor!"

Before the man could finish, we were interrupted by a loud voice coming from our left, and the approaching group of a dozen or so Abyssals made the Ninhursag delegation stumble back and nearly make a run for it. I could kind of see why though, as the group approaching us at breakneck speed was rather intimidating out-of-context.

Comprised of both men and women dressed in trendy exercise outfits (also imported by yours truly, though at this point it should go without saying) that showed quite a lot of skin, which must've already weirded out the delegation more used to the weird Victorian/gothic aesthetics of Abyssal fashion. I couldn't exactly blame them though, as the weather was pretty hot.

Now, the thing that must've really shocked the Ninhursag people was that they were all wearing masks similar to mine, except with the colour-scheme reversed. Oh, and them carrying weapons probably also didn't help.

"W-What's the meaning of this!?" the portly liaison exclaimed in a mixture of fear and outrage, while his companion only looked at the approaching group with detached indifference.

"There was no mention of this in any of the prior reports," he uttered flatly and started rummaging through his briefcase again.

Meanwhile, the group arrived at our side and formed up, with a familiar face (not literally, because masks) leading the charge, showing off his bare upper body with only an empty bandolier slung over his shoulder.

"Emperor! We're done with the morning exercise!"

"But it's the afternoon…" the Ninhursag spymaster commented, still mildly outraged, so one of the masked female Abyssals let out a delighted chuckle.

"We were thorough!"

"Good work, everyone," I said casually and pointed at the ground. "Just be careful not to cross the line. That line, I mean. You almost entered the C-19 Quadrant."

My masked minions immediately jumped back and made sure to stay away from the Paradox-Billiards-Siberian-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Hopscotch field.

"Ah, thank you for the warning, Emperor! This could've been dangerous!"

"What is going on here? Who are these people?" the stout liaison bellowed while furiously wiping his forehead, so I used the opportunity to point at the group.

"They're my Axis of Evil!"

"Isn't that the name of the settlement?"

"And why are they wearing masks?" the blasé bureaucrat interjected before his colleague could've received an answer, all the while browsing a bunch of documents he retrieved from his briefcase, not even looking up.

"Practice!" the bare-chested man at the forefront declared with a hint of pride.

"Kayfabe is important," I noted with a sagely nod, only further confusing the delegation.

"I'm not familiar with the term, but…"

The incognito spymaster was interrupted again when his gangly companion found what he was looking for, and he presented a document to everyone present.

"I found it. According to the prior contract between Party A, aka. House Ninhursag, and Party B, aka. Bel of the Abyss, Party B would refrain from any explicit or covert military or paramilitary activities within the borders of Party A's territory."

"Yes. So?"

My question made him turn to the masked fellows and point at them.

"That's a paramilitary group in direct violation of the agreement."

"No, they aren't," I denied with mild disinterest, but the man didn't relent.

"They most certainly are."

"Let's ask them." I turned to my minion and levelled the question at them directly. "Hey, guys? Are you a paramilitary group?"

"No, we're the Axis of Evil!" the shirtless dude at the front declared with pride, eliciting a series of chuckles both from the rest of the group and the children still watching from the sidelines.

"You see. Case closed."

The wiry man's expression remained stoic, but after a long pause, he stuffed his document back into his bag and declared, "I shall report this to My Liege. I assure you; he won't like it."

"Oh, really?" I swung my arms open in a theatrical display. "Tell him to come in person, then. I'll show him our hospital and our food court and my garden where I grow all the damns I give." I let that linger for a moment. "Sadly, it's quite barren at the moment."

"Now, now!" The portly man hurriedly wedged himself between us and showed his palms. "There's no need for any of that. This is all just a misunderstanding, right?" He didn't wait for his companion to respond and just grabbed him by the arm and started to drag him away. "We'll just quickly do our census and leave."

"Yes, do that. Shoo." I waved my hand at them and followed it up with a theatrical sigh. "An average game of Paradox-Billiards-Siberian-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Hopscotch lasts between twenty minutes and seven and a half years, and ain't nobody has time for that. If you interrupt us again, I might have to be impolite."

I wasn't sure they could hear the end of it, because the delegation duo was already retreating with all of their guards and hangers-on. In the meantime, my minions closed in, and the man with the bandolier slightly lifted his mask while addressing me.

"Hey, Emperor? Is this really going to be all right?"

He was rather casual with me, but I was already used to it, so I just shrugged it off. Literally, in this case.

"Letting them do the census? Eh, it's not like it matters."

"No, not that." He shook his head and used his free hand to point at the delegation, currently in the process of regrouping in the main square. "We technically are in Ninhursag territory. Are you sure it's a good idea to antagonize them?"

"Oh, please! They're a bunch of cowards who desperately jumped at the opportunity to make a deal with me and exclude themselves from the civil war so they could focus on their petty internal skullduggery. They aren't going to do anything in the short term, and as for the long term…"

My vague words made my minions perk up at once.

"Is it time already?" the woman from before spoke up with audible excitement.

I responded with a suitably mysterious, "Soon," but it got mixed reactions.

"Aw. I was starting to like it here," a different man from the back spoke with over-exaggerated disapproval, earning him a few snickers.

"I told you not to get too attached," I chided him, but I didn't sound genuine even to myself, so I amended. "Eh, who am I kidding? I developed a soft spot for the place, too. Maybe we can turn it into a resort or a holiday getaway once everything's wrapped up…"

And with those thoughts in mind, I sent my minions off to take a break (read: to keep an eye on our 'guests'), the kids to roam a bit (read: act cute around the 'guest' and probe them for intel), and then I returned to the lines on the field and pinched my chin.

I didn't give a solid timeline to my Axis of Evil, because I wasn't one hundred percent sure about the timing of how things would play out either. It was due to that whole Free Actor malarkey, but based on my observations, we were still in the clear. As such, until Josh or present-me made a move, I decided to kick back a bit, relax, and try to figure out how to integrate card games and motorcycles into Paradox-Billiards-Siberain-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Hopscotch in peace.