The Second Eunuch Regains His Manhood

241st Chapter Confession

Thump.

Juga-yul’s heart raced.

As she ascended to the position of the Nation’s Foundation and declared a regency, confining the current emperor in Geoncheon Palace, she was now the one to rule over countless lives.

Every stroke of her brush determined the fate of many.

She occupied the throne of the emperor.

And Juga-yul was accustomed to that position. The noble officials who had worried about her announcing a regency at such a young age were now astonished, praising her as extraordinary for her ability that surpassed even the current emperor’s.

Juga-yul’s reasoning was always cold and rational, and her emotions rarely wavered.

Before the officials of the court, in Beijing, even in front of seasoned high-ranking officials, her heart remained steadfast.

She was indeed a steel-hearted emperor.

But today was an exception.

Her heart, which had always been calm, was now pounding as if it would explode.

‘Noya······.’

Her everything.

Noya stood right before her.

A man whose mere existence shook her heart.

In front of Noya, Juga-yul wanted to be not the experienced emperor but the youthful girl in her teens.

Her cheeks flushed pink.

Three years.

A period that was short yet felt interminably long for Juga-yul.

Nation’s Foundation.

How much blood had she spilled to obtain this position?

To prove her worth to Noya, how many trials had she endured?

No more lonely days.

Noya was before her.

‘Never again, I’ll never be apart from Noya.’

She was ready to execute everything.

For Noya, she had grasped the position of the Nation’s Foundation and the Empire’s throne.

So now, she would never let go.

With that thought, Juga-yul bit her lip.

The reason she called Noya’s ladies from Central South Sea was to publicly declare her status as the official concubine.

But first, there was something she had to resolve.

That was to earn Noya’s acknowledgment of her feelings.

Juga-yul knew how Noya felt about her.

Noya held her dear as family but, paradoxically, did not see her as a woman.

Perhaps it was because he had been a eunuch in his previous life. Back then, Noya had never understood the joys of a man, so no matter how beautiful she was, he would not have reacted and would see her as family.

Even if Juga-yul were in Noya’s place, it would have likely been the same.

‘No matter how beautiful a beauty, to the Noya of the past, it would’ve been like a painting of food (畫中之餠).’

Juga-yul understood Noya’s heart fully.

She even loved that heart of Noya’s.

But the problem was that fixed prejudice had carried on until now.

Noya appeared in Juga-yul’s sight.

Three years.

Noya, who was approaching adulthood, had grown into an extraordinarily handsome young man.

Definitely a man everyone admired. In fact, the number of women around Noya was steadily increasing.

There was no time to waste.

She had to let him know.

She needed to confess that she was also a woman who cherished Noya.

“······.”

But when it came to confessing, her lips wouldn’t budge.

Her heart raced as if it would burst.

Fear surged within her. There was no guarantee that Noya would accept her confession. While Noya cherished her, it was as family, not as a lover.

A close family suddenly confessing love?

That was a situation that would bewilder even her. The probability of rejection was higher.

If she was rejected, that would be unfortunate indeed.

At least as family, she could continue to remain by Noya’s side. Just being near him was enough for her.

In some way, she could aim for another opportunity later.

But what if Noya distanced himself from her, or worse, severed their relationship?

‘That, that can’t happen!’

She couldn’t withstand such a thing.

Noya was everything to her, the reason for her existence.

But if Noya denied her, she could no longer breathe in this world.

Just the thought of it strangled her. Her heart raced uncontrollably.

She was scared.

She wanted to think it was impossible. But it wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility.

That’s why she couldn’t speak.

Juga-yul’s face turned pale. Her lips turned white in fear.

“Your Majesty.”

She heard Noya’s voice in her ear.

Her scared heart began to calm gradually. The waves of her emotions quieted down like a still lake.

“Noya, your complexion is poor. Is there something wrong? Or is what you want to say difficult to discuss right now?”

Noya’s worried voice was heard. An expression full of genuine concern came into view.

“If it’s so, it can wait until later.”

Noya smiled gently.

That smile. A heartfelt smile that she alone wanted to monopolize. Juga-yul’s heart melted at that smile.

She wanted to delay the confession just like this. To be wrapped up in his arms. To act like a little girl just as always.

In that moment she had such thoughts.

‘No.’

Juga-yul suppressed those complacent thoughts.

She couldn’t.

It was impossible.

She couldn’t postpone it any longer. That was just delaying the inevitable. She no longer wanted to be just family.

She wanted to be Noya’s beloved, his wife, his official concubine.

If that were the case, she had to say it.

“······.”

Noya still wore that gentle smile. Even after a long silence, he didn’t rush her for an answer.

He was always like that.

Like a father, like an elder brother, he always embraced her.

Now, Juga-yul was far older than Noya.

It was decades after Noya’s reincarnation that she had finally caught up.

Noya was younger than her.

But still, Juga-yul wanted to be, only in front of Noya, forever the youthful girl.

In reality, her physical age was younger than anyone else’s.

Jeoksawol, Eun Seol-ran, Sosumahu, Dang Yeong-ryeong.

She possessed the youthful body of a girl that was a far cry from those old folks who had surpassed the age of fifty. Moreover, she uniquely shared memories of her past life.

Only she retained the memories of the times spent together with Noya in this world.

But she couldn’t be satisfied with just that.

Other women may have showcased their feminine charm alongside Noya long ago.

On the other hand, she hadn’t approached the current Noya much yet.

They had only met once at Yongbong Society.

After that, they hadn’t met again. She didn’t believe in phrases like “out of sight, out of mind.”

But it was also true that one encounter was insufficient to imprint her identity as a woman.

So she had to take a step further here.

Juga-yul looked down at her chest. A little fuller than in her previous life. If it continued this way, she would truly grow into the perfect ‘Dewy Peach’ shape that Noya would adore.

Yeah.

You can do this, Juga-yul.

Juga-yul felt the greatest tension in over 90 years of life, summoning her trembling voice to finally speak.

“Noya······.”

Her voice trembled like aspen leaves.

Her heart, barely calmed, began to race wildly once more.

“Please, speak, Your Majesty.”

She saw Noya’s smile. Watching that smile, Juga-yul closed her eyes tightly and spoke.

“······Before I speak, I, I want to get your promise first······.”

Juga-yul admitted.

She was a coward.

A frightened little girl trembling in a corner at the thought of receiving Noya’s disdain.

That’s why she had no choice but to utter cowardly words that would bind Noya before confessing.

“What kind of promise?”

“······Noya, no matter what I say······ no matter who I am······ will you cherish me, all of me·····?”

She had to ask.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I will serve you no matter who you are.”

The expected answer came back.

Then she had to be even more cowardly.

“Then······. If I confess to you······ will you not abandon me? P-Promise me······.”

She didn’t want to coerce him into accepting her confession as if by force.

Juga-yul wanted to gain Noya’s genuine feelings.

A relationship built on mutual sincerity.

That was what Noya pursued, and Juga-yul already knew that.

But she also didn’t want to be rejected by Noya after confessing. That was why she resorted to such methods.

‘I’ve said it······. P-Please forgive me······. Noya······.’

With her eyes closed, Juga-yul retreated mentally from Noya.

At that moment, cold sweat ran down her back.

“That’s natural for me, but if you want a promise, I’ll give it, Your Majesty.”

Hearing that promise made Juga-yul’s heart pound even louder. All conditions were now in place.

Now, all she had to do was confess.

But the last line was too hard for Juga-yul to utter. Her lips were frozen as if they were stitched shut.

Yet, she must do it.

“Noya, I, I······.”

Juga-yul broke into a cold sweat as she spat out her last words.

“······I······ have cherished Noya. Since that day in our last life when you held my hand, I have longed for you. Not as family, but as a woman······!”

Juga-yul opened her eyes.

Her heart raced. Noya stood before her, his expression one of shock.

But it was too late to turn back.

Her face flushed red.

She looked directly at Noya. His image was reflected in her eyes.

The one she had loved her entire life was right there.

Tears welled up in her eyes. Juga-yul spoke through her tears.

“······I love Noya. More deeply than anyone in the world, more than anyone else······. I have cherished you for so long······.”

Juga-yul took a step closer to Noya.

She lowered her head and said.

“······So please······ accept my heart.”

*

When the Emperor confessed, I couldn’t even imagine the type of confession it would be.

Thus, I accepted it.

To me, she was the most precious person, so no matter what kind of confession, there was no reason for me to abandon her.

However, her confession was not the kind of confession I had anticipated; it was a confession between a man and a woman.

I am not a fool. I knew that what the Emperor said was not just a simple “I like you” among family.

The Emperor, or rather, she had truly loved me from a long time ago.

Just as she said, she had longed for me since our previous life.

Perhaps it was because she used the Rebirth Great Method to accompany me in the return.

The issue was that to me, the Emperor was not a woman, but family. I had never thought of her as a woman in either life.

She was my adopted little sister, my political disciple, and my daughter.

That’s why I was perplexed. It was almost like a daughter who had run away, suddenly coming back and sincerely confessing her love to her father.

“······This must be sudden. I understand. Noya. I-I’m sorry. I acted on my own······. I acted on my own······.”

The Emperor choked up. Tears poured from her eyes.

“I acted on my own······ falling for Noya······. I acted on my own······ harboring feelings for you, and I acted on my own to follow you back to the past······.”

She wept. Much like when she had cried about where I was after being away for half a day, she continued to cry.

“······It’s all······ my selfishness······. Noya······. But······ it’s been eighty years. For over eighty years······ I’ve suppressed my feelings for you. Now······ I can no longer bear it. If I continue to hold it in, it feels like I’ll wither away······.”

Was that so?

Eighty years.

For that long, she had loved me. Realizing that, the Emperor’s past behavior began to take on a new light.

“And so······ I am here······ to trouble you, Noya······.”

The Emperor wept again. I quietly approached and patted her head.

“······Your Majesty.”

“······I don’t like that address either. Just like a cherished partner······ please call me more affectionately by my name······.”

“I thought I was serving you faithfully at your side for all my life, Your Majesty. I considered myself your loyal subject, yet I failed to understand your heart. Please forgive my unfaithfulness.”

“Ugh······.”

“······I need time to organize my thoughts, Your Majesty. As promised, I will not abandon you. Can you wait for me?”

I too needed time to sort out my feelings.

Of course, it wouldn’t take long. I would never abandon the Emperor.

Upon hearing my words, the Emperor’s expression slightly stiffened. As she wiped her tears, she spoke.

“I will wait.”

She told me.

“······I have waited for over eighty years. So······ waiting a little longer isn’t a problem. Noya······ please······ don’t abandon me.”

The Emperor ran into my arms. We had embraced countless times in both our past and present lives. But now, as she held me, there was something subtly different.

As I patted her head, I spoke.

“I understand.”

Since the Emperor had treated me seriously, now I had to respond earnestly to her feelings.

That was truly the color spectrum I pursued in life.

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