NOVEL NEXT Chapter 204
204. If Only I Were a Bit Younger
No way.
At Geumhu’s words, all eyes turned to her.
Even the person involved, Yujinhwi, looked at her.
The gazes of Yujinhwi and Geumhu collided in the air.
In that split second.
Yujinhwi broke into an exceptionally soft and relaxed smile.
‘Even though I am a stone woman, I still have youth.’
She was a stone woman.
Her body couldn’t bear children. It was the worst kind of body for a woman. She was in a position where she couldn’t fulfill her duties as a woman.
But she had youth. Honestly, she felt inferior compared to her peers Same, Seomun Cheong-ha, Heuksaryong, So Geom-hu, and So Cheonma. Yujinhwi acknowledged that.
However, compared to the much older Geumhu, who had long surpassed the marriageable age, and Yeomwang, she held an advantage.
‘Men like women their own age. Surely, the disciple will like me better than the seniors.’
Yujinhwi felt confident.
Moreover, now she wasn’t lacking in martial arts compared to Yeomwang and Geumhu.
She realized this when she disguised herself as Jin Soso.
Even Yeomwang Jeoksawol, the number one in the Demon Faction, and Geumhu Eun Seol-ran, the leader of the Nine Great Heroes, were all envious of her youth.
She had obtained Hyeongyeong’s Wuyi. She could protect her disciples anytime and anywhere. So now, she didn’t need others’ help.
Look.
Even by subtly demonstrating her aura, Geumhu was visibly flustered.
She actually let out a “No way.”
‘Gasp!’
Geumhu covered her mouth. Everyone was watching. How could she make such a blunder?
“Master, is something wrong?”
Her disciple, So Geom-hu Cheon Sobin, who was sitting next to her, asked. At her question, Geumhu finally regained her composure.
All eyes were on Geumhu.
Especially Yeomwang Jeoksawol.
Her crimson eyes were fixed on Geumhu. Unlike her usual competitive gaze, a subtle look of sympathy and pity seemed to linger in Jeoksawol’s eyes.
This was an official banquet. She could no longer show any inappropriate behavior. With immense willpower, she held back the tears threatening to overflow.
Geumhu wiped her slightly teary eyes with the back of her hand and spoke.
“No. It’s fine. Don’t worry. I was just a bit… surprised to find out that Yujinhwi is a woman.”
Geumhu placed her hand on her chest.
‘I can’t falter. Even if Yujinhwi is the brother of Yujin… Nothing changes. Yujin is the brother of Sangong… I must serve him…’
Geumhu’s thoughts were cut off.
Yujinhwi and Sangong were like siblings. But they were not true siblings. Blood relatives were not allowed to marry, but marriages between disciples were. In fact, some sects encouraged such unions.
If Yujinhwi truly liked Sangong…
Then…
Geumhu’s gaze met Yujinhwi’s once again.
“I was surprised too. I can’t believe the Gongdong Alliance’s So Hyup was actually a female… It just got more difficult for me to get closer to the one I admire.”
So Geom-hu slumped her shoulders.
The shock was mutual for So Geom-hu Cheon Sobin as well. Since the Yongbong Society, she had genuinely developed feelings for Lee Cheol-soo.
But unlike the other girls, Sobin had yet to find a chance to properly approach and express her feelings to Lee Cheol-soo.
In such a situation, finding out that Yujinhwi was actually a woman was shocking.
‘Did Seoharin already know?’
Sobin’s brows furrowed.
That day.
When the Hangshan Sect formed an alliance with the Post-Stimulation Indicator. Sobin couldn’t understand why Seoharin had insisted on having Yujinhwi, who was a man, join. She had simply thought it was because he was Lee Cheol-soo’s senior disciple.
But if Yujinhwi had been a woman and had admired Lee Cheol-soo from the start…
If Seoharin had known that…
In reality, the only ones who showed no sign of being surprised by Yujinhwi’s confession were Heuksaryong Wi Soryeon, the girl holding Baek Rijiak, Geumhu, and Seomun Cheong-ha, aside from herself.
Sobin held her master’s trembling hand.
If she was surprised, how much more surprised must her master be?
Whatever the case, Sobin respected her master Geumhu the most.
Geumhu took a deep breath while holding Sobin’s hand.
“I apologize for surprising you, Miss Eun.”
Yujinhwi looked at Geumhu as she returned the greeting.
“It’s fine. You must have had no choice but to live as a man for the sake of your sect’s revival. I understand.”
Geumhu replied in a trembling voice.
In her mind, she understood. She must have had to cross-dress for the revival of the sect. Cases like Yujinhwi’s were not uncommon in the Windy Martial World. Women who lived as men for the sake of their sect.
But she couldn’t comprehend it in her heart. Why, of all people, was the brother of Sangong not considered a sister disciple?
Suppressing the black jealousy surging within her, Geumhu held herself back.
Geumhu was much more senior than Yujinhwi. As a senior of the same Orthodox Faction Martial World, it was unacceptable to display such poor conduct in front of her junior Yujinhwi.
“Thank you. I cannot publicly declare my identity in the Martial World right now. It’s a disguise for the sake of my sect’s revival. But… I wanted to reveal this truth, at least in front of those I trust. I no longer wanted to deceive you.”
Yujinhwi bowed. Her beautiful face, radiating the beauty of a true woman, entered Geumhu’s view.
Each time Yujinhwi spoke, a sense of defeat washed over Geumhu. It felt as if that dark inferiority complex would explode and consume her heart.
“How much hardship have you endured, pretending to be a man all this time? Miss Yujinhwi. You can now live comfortably.”
But she held it in.
After all, Yujinhwi was like an elder sister to Sangong. If the Gongdong Sect was her in-laws, Yujinhwi was also her sister.
So she had to be respectful. That was what a good wife should be.
Enduring the ripping pain in her heart, Geumhu spoke.
Yujinhwi smiled at Geumhu’s words.
“Thank you for your understanding, Miss Eun.”
It was certainly a pure, innocent smile. Yet even in that smile, Geumhu felt a sense of inferiority.
Thus, the banquet time passed in the blink of an eye. As she thought of Sangong, Geumhu ate the dish she had prepared, not even realizing whether it was entering through her nose or mouth, tasting nothing.
She felt like crying. It was a hellish time. After enduring all that, when the banquet finally ended, Geumhu headed straight to her lodging.
Originally, she had planned to have a heartfelt talk with Sangong. But when she saw Sangong surrounded by other girls, with Yujinhwi by his arm, she didn’t dare approach.
There were so many youthful girls smiling brightly by Sangong’s side.
It seemed there was no place for an older woman like her.
Yes.
It seemed that way.
She didn’t want to reveal that dark inferiority anymore. Back at the Gongdong Sect Guest Hall, Geumhu closed the door and locked herself in her room.
A tear fell from her silver eyes. The tears she had suppressed flooded out like a waterfall.
‘Sangong…!’
She cried endlessly. Her silver eyes had swollen. She cried and cried.
It was heart-wrenching. She felt inferior. If only she were thirty years younger, she mused. If that had been the case, perhaps she wouldn’t have felt such inferiority?
If only she were a bit younger.
On the outside, she appeared young, but in reality, she was barely a year shy of forty. The girls around her were youthful and beautiful, especially Yujinhwi.
A beauty rivaling Jeoksawol, the Most Beautiful in the World.
Moreover, her martial prowess had reached Hyeongyeong’s level, and she was much more closely connected as senior disciples.
Yujinhwi surpassed Geumhu in every aspect.
It was different from Jin Soso. Jin Soso was an absolute outsider, but Yujinhwi was a sister to Sangong.
A profound sense of defeat washed over her.
‘Am I… really a woman who doesn’t belong with Sangong…?’
Geumhu wept.
Yujinhwi outshined her in beauty, martial arts, and connections.
In every aspect, she felt inferior. Even if she were a man, Sangong wouldn’t choose an aging woman like her. Men liked younger women.
And if that young woman was prettier than an older woman, stronger in martial arts, and had deeper connections, there was no contest.
It just didn’t add up. Anyone could see that. The entire world would point fingers at her.
So for Sangong’s sake, it made sense to leave. But she didn’t want that. She couldn’t bring herself to go.
She wanted to be near Sangong. Even if she was ugly and aging, she still wanted to be by his side.
She couldn’t imagine a life without him anymore.
In her future, Sangong was now a necessity. She wanted to live with him. She wanted to share a hundred years of companionship with him.
So she couldn’t retreat from his side.
‘…I’m sorry for being a selfish woman, Sangong.’
She was selfish. Not for Sangong’s sake, but for her own she didn’t want to let go of him.
Even if it meant being ugly, she wanted to stick around.
Geumhu knew as well. The only bond connecting her to Sangong was a faint thread of fate.
When she became an adult, she would challenge him, and then make herself his woman.
That confession alone was all it took to captivate her. It might have started as a casual feeling. But over the past two years, through countless experiences alongside Sangong, Geumhu realized.
Sangong was her everything.
There could be no world without Sangong.
To her, the only man was Sangong.
So she mustn’t let him go.
But how?
“Sangong…”
She murmured the name she had endured saying for so long.
She resolved to become the virtuous wife of Sangong.
It felt like that dream was about to shatter like bubbles.
Geumhu buried her face in her knees and sobbed. Her garment soaked with tears. Beautiful silver hair flowed down like a waterfall.
As Geumhu continued to sob, the door creaked open.
She lifted her head. Under normal circumstances, she would have sensed the presence before it knocked. But now, there was no such composure.
With swollen eyes, she looked up. Through her blurred vision from tears, someone appeared.
With striking red hair and red eyes, a gorgeous beauty stood out.
The beauty reached a realm of otherworldly magnificence.
It was Yeomwang Jeoksawol, the number one in the Demon Faction, gradually becoming clearer in her sight.
“Yeomwang Senior?”
Geumhu questioned in a voice filled with moisture.
Yeomwang Jeoksawol.
She was someone Geumhu knew. Initially, she had kept her distance due to her connection to Sangong during the journey with the Demon Sect, but that was no longer the case.
Jeoksawol’s beauty was indeed extraordinary. It was at a level that made the rumors seem underestimated.
But younger and more beautiful Yujinhwi was present.
That Yeomwang Jeoksawol, too, would eventually fall short against Yujinhwi due to age.
Everything seemed meaningless.
Geumhu’s silver eyes began to dim.
With a vacant voice, she spoke.
“What brings you here, Yeomwang Senior? Did you come to laugh at me? If so, feel free to laugh as much as you want. A woman as ugly as me harboring feelings for Sangong… it truly wouldn’t fit.”
Geumhu forced a hollow laugh.
Seeing Geumhu like this, Jeoksawol sat down across from her.
Jeoksawol spoke.
“No, I didn’t come to laugh at you. Eun Seol-ran.”
“Then…”
Geumhu’s foggy gaze turned toward Jeoksawol.
Jeoksawol opened the fan she held in her hand and, with an arrogant tone, gazed at her before speaking.
“I am here to correct your misunderstanding.”
Misunderstanding?
Geumhu muttered inwardly.
What kind of misunderstanding does she mean to correct?