The Salted Fish Cultivator: My Pet System Awakens

The morning began with an ominous creak.

Lu Tian rolled over in bed, rubbing his eyes and muttering about how mornings were the worst invention in human history. Just as he stretched and yawned, the loud crack of splitting wood interrupted his peace.

CRASH!

The bed collapsed beneath him, sending him sprawling onto the floor.

"What the—" Lu Tian groaned, staring at the pile of broken wood and splinters beneath him.

The system chimed in, annoyingly cheerful as always.

[Random Punishment: Bed failure initiated. Cause: Lack of effort in foundational Qi circulation.]

"Are you kidding me?" Lu Tian muttered, sitting up and rubbing his back. "Even my bed's turning against me now?"

Zhang Wei's voice rang out from the hallway, full of amusement. "Brother Lu! What was that noise? Did you fall out of bed?"

"No!" Lu Tian snapped, his face flushing with embarrassment.

The door creaked open, revealing Zhang Wei with a half-eaten bun in hand. He took one look at the wreckage and burst into laughter. "You did fall out of bed! No—wait—you broke your bed! What did you do, Brother Lu? Sleep too hard?"

"Get out," Lu Tian growled, throwing a pillow at him.

Zhang Wei dodged easily, still laughing. "This is too good. Wait till I tell Jingyi!"

"Don't you dare!" Lu Tian yelled, scrambling to his feet.

---

By the time Lu Tian made it to breakfast, his mood was as broken as his bed. Madam Lu eyed him critically as he slumped into his chair.

"You look like you slept on the floor," she said.

"I basically did," Lu Tian muttered, glaring at Zhang Wei, who was struggling to stifle his laughter.

Wei Jingyi raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Lu Tian said quickly.

"His bed broke!" Zhang Wei blurted, unable to hold it in any longer.

Wei Jingyi blinked, then covered her mouth to hide a small laugh. "How does a bed just… break?"

Lu Tian sighed, shoveling rice into his mouth to avoid answering.

---

The academy buzzed with activity as students filled the lecture halls and training grounds. Lu Tian dragged his feet through the corridors, his mood still sour.

The day's first class was Introduction to Spirit Contracts, a course about forming pacts with spiritual beasts. The lecture hall was packed, with students eagerly flipping through their scrolls and discussing the complexities of beast compatibility.

Lu Tian slouched in his seat at the very back, half-listening as the instructor explained the theoretical foundations of spirit bonds.

"Spirit contracts are the cornerstone of many professions," the instructor droned. "Whether you aspire to be a Beast Tamer, a Battle Summoner, or a Field Strategist, understanding the principles of synergy with your contracted beast is vital."

Lu Tian yawned, barely keeping his eyes open.

Next to him, Wei Jingyi scribbled notes furiously, her brows furrowed in concentration. Lu Tian glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Why are you trying so hard?" he whispered.

She hesitated, her grip on the brush tightening. "Because I have to."

"Why?" Lu Tian asked, genuinely curious.

Wei Jingyi didn't answer immediately. Instead, she ducked her head, letting her hair fall forward to shield her face. "Just… because."

Before Lu Tian could press further, the instructor clapped his hands. "Now, we'll move on to practical demonstrations. Those of you with contracted beasts, step forward and summon them."

The room buzzed with excitement as students lined up to show off their spiritual companions. Massive wolves, elegant cranes, and even a shimmering spirit fox filled the stage, each creature radiating unique energy.

Wei Jingyi watched quietly, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

Lu Tian leaned closer. "Why aren't you going up?"

"I don't have one," she said softly, avoiding his gaze.

Zhang Wei, sitting on her other side, perked up. "Don't feel bad, Jingyi. Brother Lu doesn't have one either. Right, Brother Lu?"

"Why would I want one?" Lu Tian said, yawning. "It's just more responsibility."

Wei Jingyi's lips twitched into a small smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

---

The next class was Alchemy Basics, where students learned the art of refining herbs into pills and elixirs. The room smelled overwhelmingly of medicinal plants and bitter powders.

Lu Tian stared at the bubbling cauldron in front of him with thinly veiled disdain. The instructor had assigned them to make a basic energy-recovery pill, but his mixture was already a murky, unappetizing shade of brown.

"Brother Lu, what's that smell?" Zhang Wei asked, wrinkling his nose.

"Success," Lu Tian deadpanned, stirring the concoction with zero enthusiasm.

The system chimed in suddenly.

[Host's laziness detected. Initiating random punishment: Minor environmental disturbance.]

Lu Tian froze. "Wait—what do you mean, 'disturbance?'"

Before he could get an answer, the cauldron began to bubble violently.

"Uh… is it supposed to do that?" Zhang Wei asked, taking a cautious step back.

"Nope," Lu Tian said, his face blank as the cauldron exploded with a loud bang, sending a cloud of foul-smelling smoke billowing into the room.

Chaos erupted as students coughed and waved their arms to clear the air. The instructor stormed over, his face red with anger.

"Who's responsible for this?!"

Lu Tian raised his hand slowly. "I'd like to plead the fifth."

The instructor glared at him. "There is no 'fifth' in cultivation law!"

Zhang Wei doubled over laughing, while Wei Jingyi buried her face in her hands, clearly embarrassed.

---

By the end of the day, Lu Tian was drenched, bruised, and thoroughly annoyed. His bad luck seemed to follow him everywhere—from a broken desk during afternoon meditation to an accidental fire alarm that soaked only him in the middle of the dining hall.

As he trudged back to the dorm, Zhang Wei walked beside him, still laughing at his misfortunes.

"Brother Lu, today was amazing. You're like a walking comedy act."

"Glad I could entertain you," Lu Tian muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Wei Jingyi followed a few steps behind, her expression unreadable. As they reached the dormitory steps, she finally spoke. "Lu Tian… are you okay?"

He glanced at her, surprised by the question. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just… seem like you're carrying a lot," she said softly.

Lu Tian blinked, momentarily caught off guard by her sincerity. Then he shrugged, a lazy grin spreading across his face. "I'm fine. This is just my life now."

Wei Jingyi hesitated, then nodded, though something in her eyes said she didn't quite believe him.

---

That night, as Lu Tian lay on his makeshift mattress (his broken bed still unrepaired), he sighed heavily.

"System," he muttered, staring at the ceiling. "What did I do to deserve this?"

The system replied without a trace of remorse.

[You existed.]