NOVEL NEXT chapter 3
3 – 1. Farewell (3)
1.
There are various ways of parting.
Parting with a smile and a happy farewell.
Parting with tears and sadness.
Parting angrily and with bitterness.
Leowen had several options as well.
There must have been a better way than this one-sided method.
However, the only certainty was this.
If she had tried to explain the situation nicely and sought understanding, or if she had chosen any other method, Evan would have willingly given up on his dream and chosen Leowen.
Knowing his personality well, Leowen chose to end things badly.
“Why are you doing this…? What’s going on…?”
Evan tightly gripped Leowen’s wrist so she couldn’t leave.
The touch that was always gentle when caring for himself was rough now.
“Is it because of yesterday’s letter?”
When he thought about the reason for Leowen’s sudden change, the letter she had received yesterday seemed the most likely cause. Everything else was the same, except for having received the letter.
“……No.”
Leowen shook her head.
“Then explain properly. Why are you doing this? Huh?”
Evan grabbed Leowen’s shoulders and shook them, as if interrogating her.
“It’s strange. Even yesterday, everything was fine, but it’s weird for you to act like this overnight, right? Are you joking?”
“……”
“If I did something wrong, I’ll fix it. So just tell me.”
“……”
Leowen avoided Evan’s gaze.
It’s a habit when hiding something.
So is keeping her mouth shut tight.
“Do you really think I’d break up with you just because you left me a letter?”
“…Let go of this.”
“At least tell me the reason. Hm?”
Rouen swallowed with a slight hiss.
“…Fine.”
Rouen met my gaze straight on.
His golden eyes reflected my trembling blue ones.
“There hasn’t been just one or two things that bothered me since long ago.”
“…What?”
Rouen drew in a long breath with a sigh.
“I don’t like your pretentious-sounding voice. I don’t like your soft hands like a little girl’s. I don’t like your character like a girl, nor do I like your hobbies. I don’t like how you always rely on me during battles and do nothing when given a request. I also don’t like how you don’t use magic well, or how you can’t utilize mana properly. And more than anything, I hate that you’re weak.”
Rouen spat out the words.
The sharp words were embedded deep into Evan like thorns.
“…That, that.”
Evan’s eyes trembled violently.
He couldn’t say anything, just staring wide-eyed in the pouring rain of blades.
What did I just hear?
He doubted his ears.
Rouen was talking about Evan himself.
“I hated it all.”
It seemed it wasn’t a misunderstanding.
It seemed that what he was thinking was correct.
Rouen delivered his verdict.
“…Are you really serious about this?”
“Yes, I’m serious.”
The answer was very firm.
It must be a lie, right?
It wasn’t.
Rouen was staring straight at Evan with clear eyes.
“…Then why didn’t you say anything until now?”
“…Because I pity you.”
“I…I’m pitiful?”
Leuwen nodded.
“Yes.”
“Why? What part of me?”
“…”
“What part of me is pitiful?”
“…”
Silence flowed.
Evan waited for Leuwen’s answer.
Leuwen, who was trying to avoid answering, finally opened his mouth.
“…The fact that you don’t know that is what’s pitiful about you.”
Evan swallowed his breath with a sigh.
He tightly clenched both fists, holding back the contortion on his face. But emotions kept bursting out, making his face crumple.
No matter how kind a person, hearing such harsh words face to face would surely make them angry.
“…I’m asking you one last time.”
Evan spoke while exhaling his heat.
“Are you really saying we should break up because of that?”
“…Yes.”
“Really?”
“…You said it’s the last time.”
Evan’s hand, gripping Leuwen’s shoulder, slid down.
“I understand.”
Leuwen shuddered.
That single word hurt more than anything else.
He had to bear it.
Because it’s the path he chose.
This is all for him.
He is not talent to rot in the countryside.
He must go to the city.
One must go to the tower and fulfill their dream.
With the ability and determination, there will be plenty of opportunities to do so.
“Sigh…”
Evan let out a deep sigh and smiled faintly.
“It was fun being together all this time.”
“……”
“Though, it probably wasn’t for you.”
“…Huh!”
Leowen closed her eyes and lowered her head.
“I’ll make myself disappear now, the weak and pathetic one. Let’s forget each other. You forget me, and I’ll forget you too. Because it would be dreadful if we remain each other’s nightmares. But before we truly part, I wish you’d at least remember this one thing.”
Evan whispered into Leowen’s ear.
“…Did you enjoy playing with someone like me?”
It was completely twisted.
Even if it was a foolish choice.
Even if there must have been better ways.
But this was Leowen’s best effort.
Evan turned his back and left.
Leowen climbed onto the carriage.
People’s gazes poured down upon her.
She lowered her head and ignored their eyes.
Yet, even if she could ignore everything else, she could not ignore the burning emotions welling up in her eyes.
“…Uh…”
She covered her face with both hands.
The sorrow of leaving behind the one she loved the most and the guilt of leaving scars on that loved one mixed within her.
…Would it be better to tell the truth now?
No, she couldn’t.
She had to let go of her regrets.
Leowen decided to only think of her siblings, trembling in fear in their ruined village.
The girl, inexperienced in love, was also clumsy in farewells.
2.
“Arghhh!!”
Evan roared like a wild beast.
He kicked the ground and clenched his fists, hitting the walls until he slumped at the entrance of the alley.
He couldn’t control his emotions.
A fierce heat was tearing through his body.
It felt like his insides were melting and mixing with his blood.
He still didn’t know if Lewen was sincere.
However, just the fact that those words came out of her mouth was enough to enrage Evan.
Was she saying that she had fun alone?
Did she think she shared those memories alone?
Not knowing this, he had stupidly smiled all along.
-Slap!
Evan smacked his cheek as if to punish himself for his foolishness.
His anger wouldn’t subside.
He lashed out at everything in sight like a madman.
Even when blood seeped from his knuckles, he kept pounding on the wall.
-Smack!
He hit his head.
The more he got angry, the more Lewen’s image flickered in his mind.
They had agreed to forget each other, but how could he forget?
Even if Lewen wasn’t sincere, Evan had been. He had truly loved and cherished her.
And that’s why he was so angry now.
He would have been relieved if it had all been false.
“…Poor bastard.”
He knew all too well how pathetic he was.
‘When compared to Lewen, I’m really nothing.’
Lewen was brave and strong.
With her outstanding swordsmanship, she could easily sweep away any enemies.
Her skills were recognized, and she was constantly sought after by various parties.
“…I must have felt like a burden.”
There was no need to form a party together.
After all, up until now, Leowen had single-handedly solved every request.
Evan’s role was merely to dabble in magic from behind and prepare meals after the battles.
If they hadn’t formed a party together, Leowen might have already joined a famous party and made a name for herself in the world.
He was holding her back.
“…Would things have been different if I were stronger?”
Someone who couldn’t even use a single lower-level magic spell properly.
A pathetic guy with poor physical strength who couldn’t even run away well from magical beasts.
A clumsy and foolish kid.
Even in his own eyes, he was truly pitiful.
“What’s so important about theory… In the end, what matters is practical experience.”
If he had practiced using magic while studying magic theories from magical books, he would’ve been more helpful to Leowen. Even in his own eyes, he was relying too much on her.
“……”
Evan got up from his seat.
Drip, drip.
Blood flowed from the back of his hand.
It stings.
It’s been a long time since he suffered such a small injury. After all, every time he got hurt up until now, Leowen would step in.
Evan tried to use healing magic on his injured hand, but stopped.
“…Is there any meaning to it?”
Evan’s dream is to create healing magic that can cure all diseases in the world. That miracle is his one and only dream.
It’s time to let it go.
How long can he keep living in this dream? Holding onto something impossible won’t make the dream come true. That’s truly foolish.
He knew from the start that he couldn’t create such magic.
Cure all diseases in the world?
That’s a laughable statement.
That’s divine power. If one created such magic, they should be called a God instead of a mage.
“…The healers will take care of healing, I suppose.”
Evan brushed the blood off his hand.
“Weak…”
The words of farewell are deeply embedded in his heart.
They will probably stay there for a lifetime.
Good memories can somehow be forgotten, but bad memories are not easily forgotten. No, they will be etched more vividly in the brain and replayed numerous times.
It will follow him like a curse.
Evan grabbed his staff and left the inn.
He left everything behind at the inn. However, his torn heart was woven like ropes, dragging along the things he left behind like shackles.