The Reminiscence of a Psychopath

I shot up, coughing, inhaling, and flailing any working part of my body. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, and I was in a dungeon. Well, it did look like one. It was a cave with torches burning every hundred feet or so, leading into creepy darkness. "This is nothing like the book," I gasped. A fairy or something met the marquis's son, and it granted him strength so he could protect a girl who wasn't even his girlfriend yet.

This here was something a lot more sinister. I looked down and noticed that my clothes were dry, but my pointy rocks and cleaver were still there. Grabbing the cleaver hidden in my skirt pocket, I gave it a few good practiced swings. I had stuck to my plan of ten sets of ten of everything, and my body somehow adapted very nicely.

Maybe it was all this magic that was running through my veins. Brushing off any lingering thoughts, I advanced cautiously forward and grabbed a torch off the wall with my left hand. Thrusting my hand forward as I walked, the walls echoed my arrival, and each step reverberated throughout the cave. Then I heard it, or should I say them. It sounded like hundreds of squeaking rats thundering toward me. I dashed over to another torch and threw the torch in my left hand at the oncoming mass.

The light flickered and caught the eyes of just five rats that squalled like a hundred. Their bodies were big as cats, and as they walked, they left trails of slime and filth. Boils intertwined with mats of tangled hair, and the stench they emitted was sudden and overpowering. The torch I had thrown into their midst had bonked a rat on the head and made him catch fire. I guessed that the slimy substance on the rats was flammable, for its shrieking and the burnt smell that wafted through the air confirmed it. Snapping my gaze from the shriveling rat in the back, I realized I'd gawked too long, and the other rats were upon me.

I grabbed another torch off the wall, but before I could throw it, they were on me, four sets of teeth digging into my legs and arms.

Pain rocketed through my body, and I let out a yelp. I clenched my teeth and brought the flames of the torch into the eyes of the biggest rat, who clung to my right arm. Its flesh sizzled and popped, and its long rat paws stopped digging at my arm. He let go and ran into the darkness as I hacked away at the second rat on my other arm, the sharp blade of cleaver slicing its head in two blood, and goo splurted from its remains. The rats were quite foolish, and once they bit, they didn't let go, so a few hacks to their name, and they lay motionless in a puddle of blood.

My hands trembled. Scratch that; my whole body was in a quivering state, and my breath came in heaves. I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins and blood oozing down my arms and legs.

Belated pain rippled through my body, and I sunk to the floor. It would be dangerous to let these wounds simmer, so I ripped off the bottom lining of my skirt and wrapped the bloody bites that glared red in the flickering light. Breathing in and out, in and out, I re-focused my mind on the rat carcass and towards the endless darkness of the cave that could go on forever. Where in the world was that fairy that's supposed to give out free artifacts? And was it always this easy to kill? The sound of the shrieking rats was soundless with a blow. No way it was always this simple…

After a few minutes, I slowly dragged myself to my knees and then to my feet, wincing as the makeshift bandages dug into my open wounds. I grabbed another torch off the wall, and at a cautious pace, I walked forward into the black.

What seemed like hours later, I heard more squeaking, but this time I was ready. From the dark, I could see the glimmering eyes of two large rats; they stood as tall as my waist and as big as pit bulls. They did not attack first, though, which I took advantage of and sent two flaming torches their way. Since they were crouching just a few feet away, both torches hit their mark, and fire flared from their oily heads. They screamed in pain and confusion before locking eyes with me, but I gave them no time to think, for I ran at them and, bending low, scooped up a fist full of dirt and hurled it into their beady eyes. After they were momentarily blinded, I swung at one rat and felt a satisfying crack in its skull. Then twisted left and did the same to the other. I looked around me, peering into the dark, trying to see if there were more shining eyes staring from the void. Luckily, this was not a group of rats and just a duo, so I plunked my aching body down and rested my bones. Who knows what else there was ahead? It's good if I conserve my energy.

I found myself humming a tune from school. Was it the national anthem? I was so caught up in trying to remember the name that I forgot where I was, and the sound traveled like a trumpet in the gloomy cave.

Then BANG, like a gunshot, a creepy-looking flying bug appeared. I flinched at the light and the sound, then scratched my head, trying to figure out what the thing that boomed into existence was. It had wings like a dragonfly but the body of a human, although slightly golden. Then the flying bug spoke! To my great surprise and amusement.

"Why are you so happy? I put you in this creepy cave to see you cower in fear!" It stomped a little leg in its anger.

"Am I happy?" I said, looking over at the flying creature. It was a wonder that I felt so at home I started to whistle. "Well, I am happier than you are, Mr. Flying Bug Thing." This was true because he seemed pretty irritated and not in the least happy.

"I am NO BUG!" it screamed. "I am the fairy of the legendary lake, and I only give my treasure to those I deem pure of heart."

"Pure of heart? What kind of standard could a bug have? And plus, when did I ask about a treasure? I am just a poor girl who fell into a weird lake."

Ignoring my words, the fairy buzzed around me and eyed me suspiciously. "Your heart is too dark for me to give you anything outright. However, I see you've been through a lot, so I shall give you the final test instead of leaving you to wander forever in my wonderous cavern."

"You are truly magnanimous!" I tried to hail loudly, but all that came out was a dry, monotone voice. There really was no reason to get on the bug fairy's nerves when he quite literally held my life in his small, grubby hands.

The fairy looked a little pleased and said, "If you survive, then I'll let you live. Maybe I'll even throw in a special prize. If you entertain me well."

I felt like I was falling, and in half a second, I was in a spacious clearing, the cave roof higher than ten of me stacked on top of each other. It was a massive coliseum. I was standing on a stage in the center with thousands of stone chairs carved from the grand, gradually going up and up, almost reaching the high ceiling. Everything was interstitially carved with beautiful spiral leaf designs. A huge stage curtain swung down from thin air and covered the stage, trapping me behind its velvety purple cloth.

Then, a loud voice split the silence and reverberated into every crevice of the coliseum. "Ladies and Gents, I have a show that might be good entertainment here! I want you all to give applause at the end to evaluate the actor's performance."

Grabbing the purple curtain, I peeped my head through it, but I did not see the hide or tail of any living thing. However, I thought too soon, for there appeared thousands of floating hands, and each seat in the coliseum was full. The thunderous applause of the floating hands shook the walls and made sand perfume from the ceiling, which floated gently down.

The large curtain wavered and swung wide open as the applause continued; it was then that I noticed a spotlight on the other side of the stage. A drunken man was zapped into existence he stood teetering and stumbling, blinking up at the huge spotlight around him.

"The first act starts now; two actors, but only one can remain; who will shine the brightest?"

Confusedly, I looked at the drunk, wondering what I was supposed to do. But then it clicked. He said only one can remain. Does that mean I need to take him off the stage? Since there was nothing else to do, I sprinted over to the drunken man and, grabbing his filthy hand, swung him towards the edge of the stage and pushed him with all my might.

He landed with no sound. A flash of light sparked from the other end again, and the drunk man stood dumbfounded, alive and well. I stood surprised; my guess was not one of the actors leaving.

The man on the other end glared at me and roared, running towards me, angry at me and throwing him off the edge. His fat arm swung up, and the bottle he still held in his sweaty palms was ready to smash a hole in my head. I ducked and felt the wind rush over my hair, I twisted up and brought my fist into his pliable stomach.

It felt like his flesh swallowed my fist it got so lost in his belly. He stood momentarily stunned and, landing on his knees, gasped like a fish out of water. I looked around; no ending to the scene, no hint on what to do. Only one will remain; my brain took hold of these words and grew them into an action. I got a tight hold on my cleaver handle and, with both hands, brought it down as hard as I could on his bald head. My strength rendered his skull in two, and blood shot up around the blade like a fountain. His blurred eyes stared at me from either side of my weapon, and no sound was emitted from him except the burbling rush of blood.

I sat back on my heels and fell onto my bottom, "Haha, it was this easy the whole time? Why didn't I do this sooner?" Glancing down at myself, I found that I was drenched in red, my face sticky with it, and my teeth stained. My lips curved into a smile as blood slowly trickled off the stage and began drip, dripping, to the nonexistent feet of the audience.

Then, a bright spotlight stammered on and glared at me, showering me in its harsh light. "What do you think, good folks? Was this a worthy performance?" The voice over the megaphone shouted. There was whispering in the crowd, "beginning—regular, ---ending was… quite extraordinary." A single clap answered the megaphoned voice, then two, then three, then a hearty round of applause filled the coliseum. In the end, there was even a standing ovation. "It seems the verdict is out; it seems this young actor will reach greater heights."

For some reason, I felt proud; my heart was light and relieved, but at the same time, it was heavy for some odd reason. I had just killed a man, yet why was I so… intoxicated by the deed? The floor was wiped clean, and dust was replaced by polished marble. In the middle of the stage was a treasure chest on a golden pedestal. The voice said, "You have successfully entertained me. So, I will give you the promised reward."

I walked briskly to the shining treasure chest. Opening the heavy lid, I was a little sad and excited to see a cupcake sitting in the middle of the velvet blanket, twinkling its rainbow sprinkles at me. I'd tried it only once before at school when it was the principal's son's birthday, but this one looked a lot more delicious. "Disappointed, aren't you?" The bug fairy had appeared at my side again, smirking at me. "Well, no one is forcing you to take it; this is how the dungeon system goes; it rewards you for either your heart or how well you performed!"

I glared at the bug thing, "who says I don't want it!" I grabbed the cupcake and, carefully peeling off the plastic wrap around it, crammed the whole thing into my mouth. It was chocolate! Creamy sweet, and a hint of blood spread in my mouth, making my taste buds wake up and start singing. I mean, I wouldn't say this is worth all the trouble I've been through in this dungeon, but I'd say it's close…

"Bing bong," A start-up mechanical voice thrummed in my head. "Welcome, new soldier. Let us conquer the world together!" It then displayed a hologram of numbers and words before me.

[Host: Human]

[Status: Level 1]

[Quests: 3]

[No skills unlocked]

"Eh, what's this??" I stumbled back a few steps, disgruntled by the randomness of it all.

"It's just a simple system given to you by the dungeon. Better than any complex one that shows health and stat points! You should grovel at the feet of the all-powerful dungeon system," the fairy bug harrumphed.

It sounds like the more complex system might be better, I thought, but I did not want to be put on another stage. So I stilled my curiosity.

Instead, I said, "I thought you controlled the dungeon. Mr. Fairy?"

The fairy's face turned a shade of purple, and waved away my question. ". . . cough, cough, anyways, out you go," it said, and in a flash, I was sitting on the soft banks of the legendary lake.