The Punishment of A Demon General

I slowly open my eyes to a familiar ceiling. Wait, how did I get back to my room? Why am I in my room? Was that whole thing just a dream?

I sit up quickly and glance around, seeing absolutely nothing different from normal. There's no way that was just a dream, right? Did the Heroine mistake me as the winner?

If so, can I even blame her for not being able to tell the difference between us in the first place? Doesn't that mean she's just stupid?

Should I pity her? Of course not! No matter what it's still her fault for being able to get deceived in the first place.

Hmph... Whatever, I got lucky, at least she probably killed that thing. That's what you get for humiliating me! You deserve it for trying to take my place!

I bet the Heroine didn't even punish Killa or Julia over it, either. Should I call it 'human nepotism' or something? The Heroine seemed to enjoy it anyway, so why would she punish them?

I grumble, wrapping my blanket around my shoulders snugly, warmth melting away some of the annoyance building up in the pit of my chest.

Whatever, it's over, that's all that matters! All I need to do is just forget about it... Which just so happens to be the thing I'm the worst at, aagh!

Seriously, what part of me is so forgettable that she mixes me up with a half-ass fake twice?! It's not a matter of feeling betrayed, but it's the principle of it! What part of my identity makes her do it two whole times?

I know I shouldn't care, but it's frustrating! It's like a person you don't like talking to everyone in the room except you! Sure it doesn't matter because you don't like them, but why do they not like you?

I smack my face a couple times, trying to clear my mind before standing up. I make a burrito of myself once more because I'm still not being allowed clothes apparently, judging by the complete lack of them in the room.

... Though there's a point, how on earth would have we been mixed up? One was wearing clothes, the other wasn't. I furrow my brow in suspicion and confusion, I probably shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but none of this makes any sense!

Honestly? Fine, the Heroine wins! If she wants me locked up in here so bad, I'll stay in here! I don't care how bored I get! I mean seriously, I left my room for less than twenty minutes and suddenly I got replaced! Though, wait, how am I supposed to get revenge if I do that...?

... That's a problem for future me. You suck future me, take that!

+Pffft... Aw, Ilvia isn't here to hear this one, that would have been really funny.+

... Okay, I said I wasn't gonna care how bored I get, but I'm already really bored. There isn't even a cat outside my window to annoy anymore! Ugh.

Should I just keep playing risky? That's twice now the heroine hasn't killed me... At this point, I've gotta start realizing that if she's a threat to me, I don't have to care about it! It's obviously just under one of her psycho whims, anyway.

That doesn't actually help my situation, though. I mean, what am I supposed to do, go annoy her? That's both boring and beneath me.

I could go talk to Fluffy? She's probably awake, but there's kind of the whole issue of 'Julia or Killa might be hovering around her.' and I certainly don't want to see either of them.

Why should I care about that, though? I shouldn't care about what any of these evil psychos think anymore! If they try to start something with me, then I'll get the satisfaction of ending it! As long as I take them down before the heroine can catch a whiff of it, victory is mine!

Maybe not taking them down, but whatever. I'm gonna go out! With this thought in my heart I quickly storm to the door, which upon examination is locked. Oh no, whatever shall I do?

Now that the door is open, I step out into the hallway. I puff out my chest as I walk over to Fluffy's room, though it's not very visible behind the blanket burrito I currently have myself in.

I push the door open with a thud, my gaze passing over a horrified looking clergyman and falling onto Fluffy. Fluffy is sitting up with a plate of food in her lap, spoon halfway to her mouth as she blankly stares at me.

"Fluffy, have you ever considered being less fragile for next time?" I say, ignoring Killa who just happens to be saying something beside me. No idea what, but I'm not here to care about such trivial things.

"... I'm not exactly sure I have a choice in the matter? Humans aren't really built to take boulders to the stomach." Fluffy's words draw a faint smirk from me, her sassy response reminding me why I wanna keep her.

I can see Killa out of the corner of my eye looking at me hopelessly after she realizes I'm ignoring her. Take that, evil human!

She instead moves to escort out the panicking holy mage, saying comforting words to him that I don't care to repeat, especially since they pertain to me.

"Hmph, I suppose it'd be difficult to manage to be a tolerable human and strong at the same time, one of those is already a lot of work." She looks at me slightly awkwardly after I speak, scratching her cheek slightly.

"Thanks, I guess?" Is there something to thank? I furrow my brow slightly before shrugging it off.

"Have you finally recovered, then? I know the Heroine was useless to help you, but that weak looking mage didn't seem much better." I'm a bit skeptical about the whole thing in general, but whatever.

"Yeah, I'm doing a lot better now. The priest was saying I should be alright to move around by tomorrow, though I won't be able to eat firm foods for a while." She ignores my comments on the Heroine. I was almost hoping that this experience might have jaded her enough to realize that the Heroine isn't as good as her followers make her out to be, but I guess not judging by her reaction.

Whatever, I'll convert her to my slave eventually whether she wants it or not! "Good, I don't think I would be able to stand the rest of this trip if it were just those things left."

"... Those things?" Hm? Did I say something wrong?

"Yes, that Heroine thing and her two worshipers." I didn't think what I said was so difficult to understand.

"Oh, um... I see." I'm not quite sure why she's looking so uncomfortable, but like the phrase 'speak of the devil and they shall appear', someone has arrived.

An equally uncomfortable looking heroine is staring at me from the doorway! As expected, Killa had gone and tattled, but I prepared for that in the first place.

I open my mouth to tell her off but she just walks away, pinching the bridge of her nose while looking thoughtful.

... Hah? What? She's not going to say anything snarky like she usually does? What is she plotting now? I furrow my brow in confusion and annoyance, but elect not to dwell on it. I'm certain she'll let me find out later in a really rude fashion, anyhow.

"So, what have you been up to?" Eh? What is this, small talk? Uh, what answer does a human usually want to this kind of thing?

"Uh... Not much?" I mean, how do I even explain 'Killa and Julia hired an unholy mage doppelganger to try and trick the heroine into killing me.' That just seems super awkward...

"Ah, yeah, I've been doing about the same." ... Okay, this feels painfully awkward regardless. I could try talking about body care stuff, but I don't really know much about that, like, at all. How do humans usually get to know each other?

... Wait, I've got it! 'Being good' is a relatable human topic, right? Well, maybe not to psychos like the heroine, but still!

"So, Fluffy, I wanted to ask you something about humans." Opener complete!

"Uh, sure, okay?" She sounds a bit hesitant, but I'm sure she has no idea how perfect my topic will be!

"How do you 'be good', or whatever? I got curious about it for... Reasons, and well, you're the only human around here who isn't demonic, so."

"... What? Uh, that... Hm." She pauses for several moments, looking confused and conflicted in an assortment of ways. "Why do you want to know?"

"It was just an offhand thought I was having while stuck in my room, 'backup planning' so to speak."

"... Backup planning? Are you planning on trying to be good or something?" Wow, she hit the nail on the head, I was trying to be so vague too...

"No! Well, it's like plan O or something." Humans like it when someone tries to be good, I think. I can't really outright deny that it might be consideration for later just out of spite towards the Heroine, though.

"Why are you thinking about trying to be good?" She sure has a lot of questions for someone who hasn't answered mine yet! I grumble slightly before glancing briefly towards the door the heroine was at.

How do I even answer that? 'Because I want to get back at the heroine?' She likes the heroine, that's not gonna go well... Do I just lie? I don't really have any convincing ones lined up. ... I'll just wing it.

"I mean, if the Heroine is evil, and the Demon Lord is evil, isn't that kind of like... Totally unbalanced?" My words make her stare at me blankly for several moments before sighing.

"Sure, I guess that makes sense." Why do you not sound like you believe that? It's technically sort of true! "It's a bit complicated, but I'll try and think about it for a bit and get back to you, how's that sound?"

Eh? How complicated can 'being good' be? Wait, if demons can't do it, and humans suck at it, doesn't that mean it's actually super difficult?

... I kind of don't wanna do it anymore, but I guess I'll just keep it as a backup plan. A really shitty backup plan, but at this point I'm starting to realize shitty backup plans are usually better than the original ones.

Suddenly Fluffy speaks up again. "Hey, do you uh..." She seems conflicted for a few moments, stirring a spoon inside her porridge for a couple moments. "Do you hate the Lady Heroine?"

What? What kind of stupid question is that?

+Yeah, it's really a stupid question at this point, honestly. Maybe she's asking for a reason, though? Dun dun duuun...+

...

...

+Aaah, where's my Ilvia, everything feels so empty without you! ... Also this is supposed to be your punishment, why can you just leave me here?!+

...

...

+Well, it's still my fault for saying all that, but...+

(At least you realize that.)

+Ilvia, yay!+

(... Uh, yay?)

+Ilvia, yay!+

(... Hooray.)

+Ilvia, y-+

(Stoppit.)

Author's Note:

Brain is egg.

Egg is fried.

Goodnight.