The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

“OW OW OW!! It hurts, damn it!”

“Did you see anything!?”

“You expect me to keep talking to that lady without even seeing where she is!?”

“Oh, my! So you did look! Of course, you would! You leave me no choice, Master! For the next test, I’ll be in charge of closing your eyes at the right moment!”

“You think saying that makes you sound cool or something!? Besides, that lady’s been waiting to talk for a while now, so learn to be considerate, damn it!”

I pointed at the lady in question while directing an enraged glare at Pochi, prompting her to turn to where I pointed while keeping her paws over my eyes.

Looks like she’s not so used to talking face-to-face with someone that revealing despite being a female herself.

“Ahahaha! What’s up with these two? They’re hilarious!”

“Miss Catherine… and Sir Jacob. Why are you two here? I’m the only one assigned to judge Asley’s abilities.”

Right, I almost forgot that I’d heard another person approaching us from behind.

Now that I was reminded of that, I turned around, and saw a facetious, happy-go-lucky-looking man.

He wore a turban around his head. It wasn’t particularly tattered, but still gave off a feeling of having been in use for a long time.

Oh, I see. Catherine and Jacob… both those names were registered as members of the Six Braves.

At this moment, three of the Nation’s powerhouses were in this dilapidated Cathedral. As for me… I suppose I could now consider myself having become acquainted with seven of the Duodecad Conference?

I hadn’t had many opportunities to talk with the Six Braves, but I reckon that will be increasing soon enough, so perhaps I ought to get used to it.

“You’re not fit for evaluating Asley’s capabilities. That’s what we’re here for, in your stead.”

Jacob said to Barun as if to belittle him.

Barun hesitated to talk back, prompting Catherine to instead push him further down.

“Really, how’d a kid like him get to be one of the Six Braves? Did Lloyd and Ishtar skip some steps because they’re having such a hard time finding a candidate?”

“Miss Catherine, I ask that you refrain from speaking in that manner. Those two wouldn’t be so amused if those words reached their ears.”

Jacob berated Catherine, not out of concern for Barun, but rather for the latter’s referencing of the Black and White Factions’ representatives.

Seeing how Barun was keeping his sight cast down, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him… all right, let’s see if I can help him somewhere along the way.

Besides, those two do look a bit scary, so it wouldn’t hurt to at least have someone on my side – especially since even Barun himself had never even seen this coming.

“Then… which of you will be my new examiner?”

Jacob and Catherine turned to look at each other… and then Catherine raised her chin to signify that Jacob ought to do it.

“Of course it’s me again,” – Jacob grumbled and shrugged.

Now then, what does he have in store for me?

Barun clicked his tongue lightly as he put Ricky on his shoulder and jumped to where Catherine was, then sat on a piece of the rubble with his face in a perpetual scowl.

Jacob, on the other hand, raised his index finger, as if he had just remembered something.

“Oh, I know – there’s this one S-ranked job left at the Adventurer’s Guild when I was there just a while ago. I’ve accepted it, so…”

While he talked, he reached for his chest pocket, taking out the request paper and presenting it to me.

“…A bandit subjugation.”

“You can read. Very good. So here’s where you come in, Asley – with my authority as one of the Six Braves, I assign this task to you. Go now, and complete it quickly… let’s see, within five hours should suffice, no?”

Jacob’s grin as he said that was as wide as his mouth could humanly stretch.

So… this guy just doesn’t even intend to let me pass, huh?

All things considered, this quest must be quite troublesome. Especially so since he’d accepted it just a while ago, which I assume was about an hour ago.

In the Royal Capital, S-Ranked jobs were not very rare, at least compared to other places. That was all the reason why it was strange that there was one left untaken by this time of day.

Since the Guild was technically low on S-ranked personnel, they could grant permissions for parties of five or more A-ranked adventurers to take on an S-ranked quest instead.

That special exception was an effective offset to the lacking of actual S-ranked individuals, and considering its benefits, it shouldn’t be too difficult to form parties here in Regalia.

Despite all that, this job had remained untouched today, even after noon. It had ‘no one wants to do this’ written all over it.

“Huhuhuhu, always such a troll, huh, Jacob…?”

“For the record, I’ve had to do a job at the Adventurers’ Guild back when I took the Rank-up Evaluation as well. This is, by no means, out of the ordinary.”

Uh, yeah, the way he looked and spoke was quite unpleasant and all, but I wonder… what could be the reason for him to mess around with me this much?

Well, not like thinking about it would be of any help.

So I immediately hopped on Pochi and headed toward one of the exits of the Royal Capital.

On the way, Pochi was completely silent, which made me feel a tad bit concerned… for myself. I mean, I had a good guess as to what her reason was, but still…

Once we were out of the city wall, Pochi released her frustrations in full force – and I, having anticipated exactly that, had already blocked my ears with my index fingers by the time she started.

What I heard through my blocked ears were as follows:

“Seriously! What’s up with that cheeky guy who just showed up and ordered us around!? And you, Master! You should have at least talked back a bit! Really, why didn’t you!? Were you afraid of failing the test that much!? I’ve never been so disappointed in you! Besides, you’ve got some weird traps set up back at the Cathedral, right!? I’ve realized that just in time, but it would’ve made things way easier if you told me about it beforehand, don’t you think!? You’ve got your Telepathic Call spell, for God’s sake! Ahh, so annoying!”

(Anna: Honestly, I couldn’t agree more.)

Strange – most of the dissatisfaction she expressed had been toward me.

First off, if I’d used the Telepathic Call and was found out, wouldn’t we be in big trouble?

Well, she’ll still get angry at me if I were to say that, so I’ll probably be better off keeping it to myself. Ah, yes, this must be another step forward on my path to becoming a Philosopher. Hmm.

Anyways…now that I come to think about it, this is the first time I’ve taken on an official S-ranked quest.

Doesn’t mean this was my first time subjugating bandits though. Back when I was training under Tūs, I had to deal with so many that I got so sick of them.

Among them had been some opponents on the S-ranked difficulty level too. Now I wonder what our bandits this time are like… and where they are.

“Hmm…so where’s this Lunariel Forest?”

“Hell if I know!”

Well then, better do this by the book – my body will expire way before it should if I were to try myself against Pochi’s lingering rage.

Upon asking one random officer stationed at the gates, we discovered that the Lunariel Forest was unexpectedly close to the city – just three kilometers northwest of Regalia.

Now… I considered it strange that there were bandits whose base of operations were in a forest. There must be some sort of reason for it, but it’s not like I had the spare time to think about that now.

I hopped on Pochi once again, and this time, I replied to Pochi’s scolding by repeating ‘yeah, sure’ on auto-pilot.

By the time she calmed down, we were at the Lunariel Forest. Hmm… the weather doesn’t look so good.

Looks like it might be raining, which means that the scent of our targets may soon be eliminated and that I wouldn’t be able to rely on Pochi’s nose, the fact that Pochi herself wouldn’t shut up about. Good God, I wish she’d shut up.

“Let’s get it over with, sir!”

Well, she’s got the energy, that’s for sure. Maybe I should just let her do her thing.

“All right, Pochi, let’s get a count on the enemies’ heads while we observe from the outside. If we see an opening, then we’ll cut in right then and there and work along. I know they’re being charged for robbery and murder, but we ought to prioritize disabling them. If things go south, well, you decide yourself what to do with them.”

“Sounds like a hassle, sir.”

“Like Bruce used to tell us – ‘it’s also our job to doubt the job’.”

Our opponents this time were humans. Their capacity for wisdom and emotion set them apart from monsters, and just that was an issue in itself.

The circumstances had been different when we’d taken on the Laughing Foxes head-on, so I’d feel uneasy with the act of simply killing them while having barely any information.

I scratched my head and then sent a sign with my eyes, prompting Pochi to circle around to the north.

Now then, I’ll have to observe the enemy from another direction. According to my Biological Clock magecraft, we still had four hours and a half. Within this time limit, we have to take down an unclear number of enemies, head back to the Adventurers’ Guild to report our completion, and then return to our examiners at the Cathedral.

…Looks like this job will be more of a hassle than I’d expected.

I readied my stance and paid extra attention to the distance of my advance. My work would be significantly more difficult if I was detected. I have to keep the enemies unaware of my presence as long as I could, so that they don’t find out much about us.

I must be cautious – but also ready to take the plunge as soon as I see an opening.

Pochi is now operating apart from me, so I ought to use Telepathic Call to check up on her…

[“Pochi, no problem here so far. How’s it looking over there?”]

[“…Looks bad, Master – the bandits have several mages among their ranks.”]

Wait, don’t tell me… these guys aren’t the bandits we were looking for?