The Nettle Tea Chronicles

Zoe

Zoe loved her family. She really did. And she had to keep telling herself that over and over and over again most of the day.

She had expected her holiday to go about like that. Her siblings - an older sister and younger brother - were old enough that family get-togethers were ostensibly "adult-oriented", which really just meant lots of conversation with TV in the background, minimal games, and plenty of food. Especially for the big family oriented holidays.

Generally speaking, that was fine. Until her older sister Amy had gotten a steady boyfriend. And later engaged.

Amy was two years older than Zoe, and had started dating Max two years previous, and had gotten engaged earlier in the year. And any time Zoe came home for a family holiday, they were there together - which she genuinely thought was great - and talking about whatever plans they had.

Reliably, the conversation around the living room or the dinner table would inevitably turn to their wedding planning. Which, again, Zoe thought was fine. Weddings were exciting, and she was happy to see Amy so excited. Even if they had made zero progress, still waiting on a venue to "jump out at them" so they could book and set a date.

All of the wedding and related talk was fine. But it also inevitably would end up with her family turning to her and asking about her love life. Every. Time.

Somehow, her younger brother River, who was only a year younger than her, always managed to avoid getting interrogated by them. She wasn't sure if it was because he still lived at home and got it on non-holiday days or what, but somehow she always ended up in the crosshairs.

Every time it happened, Zoe had to remind herself that this was one of the best possible outcomes for her. She had come out to her family midway through high school, and they had been accepting of her. It changed almost nothing between any of them, which was about as close to what she would have wanted had she been asked about it. She was accepted and everyone moved on as if nothing changed.

It didn't stop her from getting inundated with questions about if she was dating, if she had any prospects, if she had any crushes - and it just went on. Her mother constantly needled her, trying to get any information she could, acting like Zoe was actively stonewalling her when she just said no and that she had no interesting updates.

None of the individual questionings lasted that long, but it came up at least a few times an hour while the family watched old holiday movies together while talking about random things. It felt like anything tangential that her mother could twist into a question was a green light for more questions.

It was an obnoxious annoyance for most of the day that she could mostly ignore, only groaning when it came up.

And then they sat at the dinner table to finally eat in the middle of the afternoon, where the conversations continued. The conversation had continued pretty normally, eventually landing on the topic of the winter weather, and potential snow. They were only minutes into the meal when Zoe's brother, River, asked a seemingly innocuous question with a small teasing smile on his face, but it made Zoe's blood run cold.

"With how cold it's been, did you ever end up picking out a jacket, Zoe?"

The table turned to her as she said, "Huh? I mean, the coat I wore today is new, sure, but -"

"I was just curious…" the expression on River's face was one she knew well. The little brat was always a bit of a shit-stirrer, and the smile on his face was the look of someone about to reveal their winning hand.

And the little shit had waited, holding back all day to drop the bomb at the dinner table.

"I was in the city over the weekend for some shopping, and saw you in the store trying stuff on with your friend. Looked like you were having fun."

Zoe closed her eyes as she felt a shiver run down her back, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Zoe was out shopping with someone?" Her mother asked.

"Mhm." River continued, trying to sound all innocent, "It was a pretty lady, too. Tall and blonde."

"Oh, really?" Her mother's voice sounded devious and a little threatening. Zoe wanted nothing more than to faceplant into her plate of food. "And after all that stuff about not having a girlfriend and staying home to play games all the time…" Her mother's voice was gentle but accusing.

Zoe was suddenly infinitely thankful Cassandra had turned down her invitation to dinner.

"Mom, she's just a friend. From work. She wore a nice peacoat one day and I asked about it. She said she'd go shopping with me to pick one out and I took her up on the offer." Zoe said, doing her best not to sound defensive.

"Well, you two picked out a nice one." Amy said helpfully, motioning to where the new coat was hung by the front door. "It looks good on you."

"Thanks." Zoe said with a fake smile. "I honestly thought the all black would look a little too severe, but the texture on the jacket helps a lot, I think."

"I could see that." Amy said.

"Did you get anything else while you were out?" Zoe's mother asked.

"I bought a new winter hat while we were out, yeah. I felt like I needed something a little more professional looking to wear to work, so I got one that was black and white. I didn't wear it today, but it goes great with the jacket."

"It also goes great with the matching blue one that your friend had." River added.

It took everything Zoe had in that moment to not flip out at her brother. She could feel her mother's eyes narrow in on her, hungry for more details, and she was beginning to think that even Amy, who had almost definitely been on her side before, was in danger of defecting.

"It did, yeah. She got one with a similar design but in blue. It was cold that day, and neither of us wore hats. Big mistake in the city this time of year with all the wind, right?" Zoe laughed awkwardly, hoping - praying - that Amy would snatch up her pass and talk about the weather.

Thankfully, Amy chuckled. "Yeah, the wind chill is brutal this time of year. Any time I go into the city I need a scarf and a hat or a hood or my ears and nose suffer."

Amy's fiancé, Max, decided to chime in then, too. "Agreed. Sometimes between the cold and the wind, I've even had my mustache and beard freeze solid just from my breath."

Zoe was thankful for the distraction and nodded. "Yeah, I have a tendency to wear my scarf up over my nose when it's that cold. And make quick trips between wherever I am and the subway. Or at least inside."

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"Really?" River asked, still playing innocent. When Zoe looked over at her brother and saw that the mischief in his eyes had not gone anywhere, she did her best to ask him not to say any more with her eyes.

The little shit clearly had other plans. "You seemed to enjoy your time outside in the park, too, though?"

Zoe wanted to look up at the ceiling, take a deep breath, and scream.

"You went to the park? In the cold?" Amy asked, mimeing a shiver at the table.

"With your friend?" Her mother asked.

Zoe wanted to crawl into a hole.

"Yes." She sighed. She figured trying to lie would just make it worse. "We went to Bryant Park to check out the holiday shops and got funnel cakes. It was fun. Anything else to add, River?" Zoe asked, shooting her brother a death stare.

Evidently, that was the wrong question.

"I saw you walking arm-in-arm."

That was the breaking point for Zoe who officially gave up, dropping her head into her hands, elbows propped up on the table. She wanted to pull her hair out. That was apparently also not the right call, as her mother took the exaggerated motion as an admission of guilt.

"Zoe! Do you have a secret girlfriend that you're hiding from us?" She asked, in the fake affronted way all mothers do.

"No, Mom, I don't." Zoe sighed. "Like I already said. She is a friend from work. She also likes video games. We just get along very well. And, for the record, she was walking arm-in-arm with me at the park because it was busy. There's nothing going on there. I don't even know if she's gay."

Her mother's look said pretty plainly that she didn't think Zoe was telling the full truth. Even Amy now looked like she had swapped sides, and was eyeing Zoe like she had more to hide.

Without anything more to say, Zoe just kept her head down and tried to eat quietly. The rest of dinner was far less interesting. River seemed satisfied with the chaos he caused and was happy to eat with minimal talking. Zoe could feel her mother and sister watching her while they ate, but they didn't say anything further. The unobtrusive conversation that followed was mostly led by Max and Zoe's father, who started talking about her dad's plan to tear down and rebuild the deck in the back.

Even Zoe chimed in a few times about that, as she was interested to hear the plans her father had. The deck was old and the weathering wasn't holding up as well anymore, so it really did have to go before it became dangerous.

Zoe hated it since she was a child thanks to the sheer number of splinters it had given her while running around on it in the summer with their pool. She was happy to hear that her dad was tearing the cursed thing down.

When dinner was finished, she helped clean up the dishes and bring everything into the kitchen for loading into the dishwasher. Her family didn't over cook on the holidays, which was nice. She had seen other families that would end up making so many dirty plates that the kitchen looked like a warzone after the last part of the meal. Her family managed to keep everything manageable.

Once the cleaning was done, her family members slowly retreated to the living room to sit on the couches as they finished their clean-up tasks. By the time everyone was getting settled again, Zoe was happy to see that the conversations had recovered - and she was no longer being bothered.

And then, before she could sit down, Amy came over with a pair of wine coolers and slipped an arm around Zoe's, leading her outside to the back.

"I'm borrowing Zoe real quick!" She called, but no one seemed to care.

Zoe didn't bother to fight her older sister. At least she was bringing her somewhere quiet. And she had little doubt what this was about. Once they were outside, Amy handed her the drinks so she could fish a bottle opener from her pocket. Once they were open, they each took one, and Amy dramatically moved to lean up against one of the deck's railings, eyeing Zoe over the bottle.

Zoe ignored her and moved to lean forward over the railing to look out at her childhood back yard. It wasn't huge, but it was still grass, and had been a great part of her childhood. She held back a shiver; Amy had dragged her outside without either of them wearing their coats.

"So, you gonna talk, or do I need to ask?" Amy said.

Zoe remained quiet, just staring at the yard, so Amy continued. "Zoe, Mom has always given you shit about your relationships since - well, you know. I'm not gonna give you the spiel about how she wants you to be happy or any of that crap, but usually you get annoyed and roll your eyes and say you're not looking right now, or something to that effect."

Amy paused for a moment, then added, "That's not what you did today."

Zoe considered her response. "If I tell you that I'm just sick of it, got frustrated, and blew up at her over it…would you believe me?"

It was Amy's turn to take a moment, taking a sip of her drink. "Believe you? No. Accept it? Probably."

"And you wouldn't believe it because…?"

"I've seen you get frustrated about it before, when mom asked you about other friends. You don't usually turn scarlet when you're annoyed." Neither one said anything for a minute, so Amy added, "Some people do though, to be fair. Or when they're embarrassed by their younger brothers. That little shit."

Zoe chuckled at that and took a sip from her bottle. She was cold and on the verge of shivering, but wasn't sure she wanted to go back inside yet. The cold beverage didn't help either, she supposed.

"Amy, you know the rules I set for myself after Rian."

"I do."

Zoe took a steadying breath for herself. She was honestly terrified of saying what she was feeling out loud. Worried that speaking them would solidify them in some way that couldn't be taken back. She dropped her head backwards to look up with a movie-worthy, bone-deep sigh.

"I think I like this girl, Amy."

Zoe's sister turned to look out over the yard, leaning forward on the railing too. "But you have no idea how she feels."

"Not enough to risk anything. We've been work friends for years now. We get along well and like the same things. But...I don't know, four years in and I still don't really know if she likes guys, girls, both…neither?" Zoe sighed again. "You know, I invited her to come tonight? She said no, and thank fuck for that because…yikes. But…ugh."

Amy shifted a bit and chuckled. "So why did you start taking an interest after four years? That's a pretty sudden switch."

Zoe had to think about it. "I don't know. I guess, before, we always kept conversations light and about other things? What games we were playing, theorycrafting for them, that sort. We never really talked about ourselves? It was always secondary to our shared hobby, even when we were literally playing together."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. Somewhere along the line recently, it switched? Or maybe not switched, but we've started talking about other things more. We used to only go out for lunch during the work day, and she suddenly asked me to dinner recently. I had a great time, and we've gone for dinner together since too. And then the shopping outing…" Zoe groaned, thinking about it. "I don't know!"

"You may want to pay more attention." Amy said with a shrug. The nonchalance of the statement annoyed Zoe a little, who turned to face her sister angrily. Amy's tiny little smile put her off her game immediately.

"The heck does that mean?" Zoe asked weakly.

"I dunno. But I think you should maybe start by asking your crush what her sexuality is, little sis."

"You know I hate being called that."

"I know." Amy walked away chuckling to herself. "I'm going back in. It's too cold out here for me."

Zoe decided to hold out a bit longer, and pulled her phone from her pocket. She opened up the Clan's chat to see a number of images of everyone's families celebrating. And Fiona and his wife basically dead on the floor. It put a smile on her face.

Then she saw a direct message from Cass.

{Cass} : Hey, I know you were probably joking about stopping by tonight, but I still got two buckets of chicken just in case.

{Cass} : [Attached Image]

The image that followed was a selfie of Cass, holding her phone to take the shot in one hand while holding one bucket of fried chicken in the other hand and the second bucket held fast between her teeth. It was adorable, and Zoe immediately felt an inescapable smile stretch across her face. She sighed again.

"Fuck."

After another minute to calm her face, she turned to march back inside. Evidently, she had a family picture to take.