The Near Infinite Names of Autumn Aubrey (Psychological Fantasy Progression)

If Anna had not been there with me, I might have never said another word again.

"I'm sure that she knows, but I don't. What does that mean?" She asked when it became evident that I was in no shape to speak.

Precept Zetta broke into movement at her question. "Right. Forgive me, my excitement has made me forget my manners. Please sit, can I offer either of you a drink?"

Anna wasted no time walking us over to a wide bench with a blue velvet cushion and sitting us down. "Wine, red if you have it. Do you want anything?"

I wanted milk, but there were too many thoughts running through my mind to say it.

"Is there any milk?" Anna said, somehow knowing what I needed without me having to tell her.

"There is whatever the two of you want. Sweet or dry?" Precept Zetta called out to us from somewhere unseen.

Dry milk? I thought to myself and tried to imagine what that would look like.

Anna leaned back on the bench and pulled me into an embrace. For a moment, I thought she just wanted to give me a hug, but then she whispered into my ear. "She wants something from you. I can feel it."

"As sweet as you can get it, please." She called back to my teacher.

"She wants me to be a half moon?" I asked, not understanding how she did not understand what was happening.

Evidently, I spoke too loud, because she clamped her hand over my mouth like Ferrin had and pulled me back.

"No," She whispered again. "She looked nervous when she asked if being a half moon is what you wanted. It's something else."

Precept Zetta came back into sight and squared one of the high backed chairs of polished wood to the bench that we sat on. "Drinks will arrive in a moment. You asked me what being a half moon means, and it occurred to me that most of the girls here have been at Lun for decades. I doubt that anyone has explained anything to you or Ire, have they?"

"No, no one has. Why did she have to duel all those sorceresses today?" Anna agreed and asked as we resettled on the bench.

Precept Zetta sat down in the chair and crossed one leg over the other. "To test her abilities. I have long thought that she was capable of much more than the other new moons were bringing out of her."

"Why did you think that?" There was no hesitation from Anna. If I had just been looking at her eyes, I would have thought that she had been possessed by the steely spirit of her mother.

Precept Zetta let out a raspy chuckle. "You were not lying when you said you were her keeper, were you? Have no fear, I have nothing to hide. First, I believe she has a tremendous amount of aura naturally. Second, her whip and her fireworks are developed far beyond her years. If I am right, and I have been doing this long enough that there is little room for error, she is very close to summoning her implement for the first time. Third-"

"Wait," Anna held her hand up and interrupted my teacher. "What is an implement?"

"Do you not know what it is?" Zetta asked as she turned her eyes to me.

I shook my head no and maintained my silence. Anna was far better at talking than I was, and if she was right about Zetta wanting something from me, it was only a matter of time before she figured out what it was.

"That only makes you more impressive. Every sorceress, everyone born with aura really, had the potential to manifest their true selves," Precept Zetta began just as a knock sounded from her door. "Part of that is the implement, the soul weapon, the armament that they were always meant to use."

Echowalker, Frostdancer, Goldluster. All the transformations I had witnessed came rushing back to the front of my mind alongside the memory of whatever dark thing Alexei had turned into.

My teacher stood and went to the door as Anna pulled me close once again. "That sounds like the golden needles that Azza used. Or the thread thing from Gwyn."

She was right, and I nodded so she would know that. The Well was bigger, impossibly so, but it could not just tell me what I needed to remember like Anna could.

"I was married, retired from the enclave, and had lived six decades before I was ever able to summon mine. And you haven't even seen two yet." Precept Zetta continued as she placed a silver tray on a small table at the end of the bench.

Anna ignored the stemmed glasses and took one of the green bottles of wine for herself. I drank one of the glass bottles of milk and was happy to find that it was not dry.

"But it breaks you, right? That's what being a moon is about." Anna said, repeating the words that I had repeated to her after Alexei had told them to me on the day that I had chased Sam to the hall outside of Precept Jasna's classroom.

"In part. And there is a cost, a grave one at first, but it becomes easier to handle with time." Precept Zetta nodded as her sapphire eyes hardened into a heavy stare.

"Why?" Anna asked after another drink.

Zetta continued, but she had changed. "If we are shifting to whys instead of hows and whens, I'm afraid that my answers aren't going to tell you much. The way I understand it is that manifesting so much of your soul at once is too much for your body to handle if it is not accustomed to it."

Anna did not drink before her next question. "No, I meant why is it so important. If it is going to hurt her, why should she do it?"

I did not want to break myself. After what I had seen through the doorway of Jasna's classroom and what I had felt when I had been The Lady in Red or The Lady in Purple, there was no part of me that wished to do what they had done.

"You ask a lot of good questions to be from the mortal plane," Precept Zettta said, wearing her version of the stony mask that I was used to seeing on Alexei. "Power is the easy answer. All of us were born to become the kind of souls that The Mothers became to hold chaos together."

"I see." Anna said as I took a second bottle of milk and started on it.

"Think of it this way. High up in a tree, nestled in a perfectly safe nest, is a hatchling. It was born with wings, nature intended it to fly, but it never will unless it learns to spread its wings." Zetta continued.

"So you mean to push her?" Anna asked. Her words did not surprise me, I had lost enough arguments with her to know how dangerous she could be.

Precept Zetta reached over and took the wine from Anna before taking a long drink. "If that is what you think, you have misunderstood completely. Underwitch Ire is free to remain a new moon if she wishes. All she has to do is say it. Ire, do you want to be a half moon?"

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I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"What would change if she decides to?" Anna asked after giving me more than enough time to find a single word to say.

"Her teachers mostly. Who her sisters would be. She would not have to pass the trials at the end of the year. Precepts Jasna, Bellum, and Shanti would take over her training. Instead of classes, it would be their goal to push her towards her transformation and implement. If she ever decided to leave Lun, it is safe to assume that she would be accepted as a third circle sorceress everywhere else in Zenithcidel." Zetta explained and kept the wine to herself no matter how many times Anna's eyes drifted down to it.

A feeling I could not ignore really made me consider what was happening between my teacher and my beloved.

I didn't understand a single rule of it, but I was almost certain they were playing some kind of game.

Anna leaned forward and took the bottle back from Precept Zetta. "And that is what you want her to do?"

Zetta waited until the exact moment that the green glass of the bottle's mouth left Anna's lips before she reached over and took it back.

"It is not my decision." She said and took another swig.

I kept drinking my wet milk, thankful that neither of them had asked me to speak again.

Once again, Anna reached for the bottle. "Then what is? What do you want from her?"

Zetta pulled the bottle out of her reach and narrowed her eyes. "Listen. I will tell you, but first, she must answer my question. Underwitch Ire, do you want to be a half moon?"

I didn't.

I had known that since she had first mentioned the possibility to me earlier in the week. I had been happy to duel the half moons, mostly because I had wanted her to call me strong again, but my time as Zetta's student had taught me that I enjoyed fighting other sorceresses.

It was like playing points. Only, instead of having one hand behind my back and a limited number of actions to take, the limits were whatever I could do with my power.

I was good at points, but I would be better at dueling, I could feel it.

And without Precept Mon Lord Zetta, I would have never known that. Without her encouragement, I never would have begun to believe that I could be strong.

Which was why I had fallen silent when she had first called me a half moon and put her circlet in my hand.

I had made a pact with the others, I could not break that. Why would I leave the friends it felt like I had just made?

No part of me wanted anything to do with anything related to becoming The Lady in Blue.

But, I could not disappoint my teacher after all she had done for me.

I swallowed the last of my second bottle of milk, wiped my mouth on the back of my hand, and gave my answer.

"Yes, Precept Zetta." I tried to smile as I spoke, but the way her eyes went wide made me feel like I had done something very wrong.

"What? You do? Why? What about your pact with the others?" She demanded question after question before I could answer any of them.

Panic rose up in my chest, and if it weren't for Anna taking my hand in hers once again, I did not know what I would have done.

"I-but-why- how do you know about that?" I tried to say several things before finally finding something that would come out of me.

Precept Zetta threw her hand up. "It is my duty to know, and Mallory is not exactly the best place to put secrets. Winking at her is enough to get her to tell you everything she knows. But, Ire, you really want to do this? Be honest."

I could not be honest with her so I settled for telling the truth.

"No. But if it is what you want, I will do it to keep from disappointing you." I admitted and turned my eyes to the sprawling rug of white fur beneath my feet.

Precept Zetta laughed. "That's not what I want at all."

"What is?" Anna asked for me as my mind wandered into imagining what kind of creature was large enough and soft enough to make the rug underneath my sandals.

"Listen," My teacher said with a sapphire snap of her fingers. Her expression was as sharp and focused as I had ever seen it. "I want you to be my apprentice. My only apprentice. When I leave Lun at the end of the semester, I want you to come with me."

A new silence took my words from me. It was big, shocking, warm, and all together terrifying.

Precept Zetta took a slow breath and continued. "I understand that Puddles was not hallucinating when she spoke of the seal that you have been burdened with. I know that you have another on your right palm. Whatever it was that made someone think you deserved that punishment, I do not care. You are here, so whatever was done cannot be that bad."

She took another drink of wine and handed it back to Anna. "When I spoke to The Mother in Blue about my intentions, she admitted that there would be some complications, but I have never been scared of difficulty."

It took a long moment for me to realize that everyone was waiting for me to say something.

"You want to take me with you?" I asked, refusing to let the tears that were brimming in my eyes from spilling over.

"I do," Zetta nodded and smiled before turning her eyes to Anna. "And this one too. You both would become members of my house, which comes with many-"

"Her mother. Ms. Lao. She is at the medery in Hymneth. She has to come too." I blurted out.

"Of course." Zetta nodded.

"And my mother." I continued.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Zetta agreed.

Another name passed through my lips. "And Sam."

"Lady Pazimane loves cats." Zetta agreed again.

One final name came to me and I let it out just like the first three. "Arthur?"

"See, that's one of the best parts. Velcreis is so close to the enclave that you can hear the bell towers at dawn. With you being named a Lady of my house, I could likely get him stationed in the manor as your guard."

She turned to Anna. "And you like that wine, yes? How would you like to be able to walk to where it is made? On your way, you could stop in at the enclave's loreium. I've been told how much time you spend in the library. As a Lady of my house, you would have a band of scholars to help you learn about whatever it is you wish to know."

"And you want me to be your apprentice?" I asked, my mind working far too slow for my liking.

"I do. It is not unusual. Precept Cherith has already taken Vanda from Lun. With my guidance, there is no end to how great you could become. You both were in Don Viven before arriving here, right?" My teacher asked, the tone of her voice and what she was saying making me feel just a little too good.

"No. Erosette." I answered honestly.

"And you liked it?" She asked as she stood up from her high backed chair.

"I spend every day wishing I could go back." I answered honestly again.

Zetta nodded. "Then you will love Velcreis. But, we will speak again soon."

She turned towards the door, and Anna had the good sense to understand that we should stand as well.

"I hate to cut this short, but I cannot demand that the other new moons be waiting for me at dusk and then show up late. Think about what I have said, talk it over, I am in no rush for an answer," My teacher said as we followed her out of her quarters and back into the hall. Jasna was gone, but Alexei still stood against the wall. "Good luck with your Restoration classes. If either of you wish to speak, you know where to find me."

I watched her go, and when she turned out of sight at the end of the hall, I finally let a long sigh slip out of me.

What are you thinking? You said so much and then you just stopped talking. I asked Anna when I became sure I was not going to cry.

"Lords are like kings, right? I know one is higher, but they are both royalty?" Anna asked in return. She was looking between Alexei and I, but her eyes made me think that her mind was somewhere else.

I looked to my guard for an answer as well, wondering if I should have said his name to Zetta as well.

He was probably thinking over what I would threaten him with if he didn't answer and if the cost of his silence would be worth it, but after a long moment, he spoke. "They are not the same, but yes, both are royalty."

Anna nodded, but I still could not tell what was happening in her mind.

After far too long, she met my eyes and smiled.

"I don't know about everything else, but it sounds like we could be something like princesses, and I love that."