The Master of Beasts

"Damn it! Three years ago, when they proposed selecting concubines, I agreed. Now they actually want to open up the salt and iron trades! These, these good-for-nothings! Give the order: everyone who made this proposal is to go to the Northern Territory. If anyone refuses, raid their house!"

「The scene changes.」

In the Harem, Ye Sheng, holding an embroidery needle with a troubled expression, sighed, "How can a great man end his days in such despair!"

The ill-tempered Empress overheard Ye Sheng's words and had him dispatched to the Northern Territory.

Under Empress Huang Yi's orders, the ministers, realizing they couldn't resist, also dragged the unfortunate eunuch Jun Linseng down with them.

And so, the already bustling Northern Territory became even more chaotic.

An unprecedented ethical battle officially commenced.

"'Die, eunuch! Off to the Death Squad with you!' Wudao Tian declared, kicking Jun Linseng into the Death Squad.

"'From now on, you are my personal soldier. As for this girl, she will be my Maid,' Yue Yinghua announced with cold arrogance, pulling Chen Jiuge, who had been cooking in the commissary, into her personal guard unit. Consequently, the young Maid who had been serving Chen Jiuge also became Yue Yinghua's Maid.

As battles grew more frequent, both sides underwent dramatic personnel changes. One day it might be two of my generals surrendering to you; the next, some of your people would surrender to me. Thus, an unconventional war erupted.

Chen Jiuge, now the second great general of the rebels, glared at the delicate Ye Sheng before him and bellowed, "Sissy, prepare to die!"

Yue Yinghua looked at the defecting Maid, Yue Shanghua, a trace of sadness in her voice. "Was I not good to you? How could you betray me?"

Yue Shanghua adjusted the armor on her body. "I will wash away this disgrace!"

Wudao Tian stared at Jun Linseng. "A mere eunuch, and you dare oppose me!"

Master against disciple, Martial Ancestor battling disciple—this outrageous spectacle thrilled the Myriad Beasts Sect Disciples and Elders watching from below. Especially since the plot was a nonsensical comedy, the hilarious scenes were beyond explosive.

...

A staff struck Jun Linseng squarely between the legs. Wudao Tian sneered, "You ball-less weakling!"

Jun Linseng defiantly shook his lower body, then headbutted Wudao Tian, dazing him. He followed up with a Breast-Grabbing Dragon Claw Hand, sending the Great General leaping about in pain.

Yue Yinghua relentlessly swung her greatsword, clashing fiercely with Yue Shanghua. Both cultivated the same Cultivation Technique and Martial Technique and had always been evenly matched. This continued until the greatsword finally shattered.

Under their gaze, the broken blade flew through the air and landed on Ao Tian, who had unfortunately tripped nearby.

"AWOO! Which bastard has no public decency? Don't they know you can't aim for the nether regions?" Ao Tian roared, yanking the two broken blade pieces from his backside.

Realizing the trouble they'd caused, both women quietly discarded their broken sword hilts and slipped back into their respective armies.

Compared to the bizarre duels unfolding elsewhere, the battle between Chen Jiuge and Ye Sheng was far more conventional. Their exchange of saber-blows and spear-thrusts looked incredibly intense—provided one ignored the fact that their weapons were unsharpened.

SOUND THE RETREAT!!!

"OOF! I'm exhausted! Old Ye, how about a couple of drinks tonight?" Chen Jiuge paused, rubbing his wrist.

"Sounds good. I still have two catties of wine. Bring a few chickens tonight, and we'll have a proper feast," Ye Sheng nodded.

Such harmonious scenes were unfolding all across the battlefield. Indeed, if anyone had carefully surveyed the battlefield, they would have discovered that after a full day of fighting, remarkably, not a single person had died. The most serious casualty was Ao Tian, who had two blade fragments embedded in his backside.

Thanks to this charade of a war put on by both sides, Empress Huang Yi's dynasty collapsed.

Ultimately, the rebellion-quelling army and the rebel forces joined together, stormed the capital, and the Empress was forced to hang herself.

Jiang Taiyuan, who aspired to be Emperor, was outvoted by the numerous generals and soldiers, thus successfully becoming the second Chief Eunuch.

Wudao Tian remained the Great General, but now he had the "Invincible Great General" Chen Jiuge ranked above him.

Ye Sheng, who had thought he was finally free of his role as a male favorite, was once again taken into the Harem.

The first Chief Eunuch, Jun Linseng, was made Head of the Imperial Stables. The uncultured Yue Yinghua, now in power, directly assigned him to a career in horse breeding.

The other various characters also embarked on their own ludicrous careers.

At the story's end, Yue Yinghua, draped in a Dragon Robe, stood with Jiang Taiyuan bowing and scraping to her left, and a stoic Yue Shanghua to her right.

「The End!」

Huang Yi, with an expression suggesting the show hadn't quite satisfied her, came onto the viewing platform and said, "Originally, this grand drama had many more plotlines to explore! For instance, the jealousy within the Harem, the stories of how those generals and soldiers deserted, and even how Jiang Taiyuan became the second Chief Eunuch.

"Unfortunately, some of the Elders were a bit embarrassed and insisted on cutting those plotlines short. It's a pity. However, the main story was still performed, so I suppose it can be considered a satisfactory conclusion."

Jun Linseng, Jiang Taiyuan, Ye Sheng, Yue Shanghua, and Ao Tian—all five Golden Immortals—glared darkly at the glibly talking Huang Yi, their fists clenching unconsciously.

"Hahaha, the performance of our five Fellow Daoists was truly splendid!" Jiang Shengyuan said with a hearty laugh as he put away the gleaming Imprint Stone.

"Indeed. Though the play was short and rather terrible, it's still worth preserving," Fourth Elder Gong Qingru nodded in agreement.

The other Elders also chimed in, expressing that they would definitely treasure and preserve the recording.

Steam practically fuming from his head, Jiang Taiyuan demanded, "You all recorded that?"

"Not just us. Look down there," Jiang Shengyuan chuckled.

Oh, hell! He'd been too furious to notice when he first came out. But now, looking down... Good heavens! Thousands upon thousands of Myriad Beasts Sect Disciples, each clutching an Imprint Stone, were all clamoring about how they would treasure it forever.

And just like that, any shred of their illustrious image was utterly demolished.