The Mad Rat's Lab

When I recover from the initial shock – not even my mental preparations could help me against them – I start using the cameras placed around our dungeon to locate the invaders, ignoring the deranged succubus who's still kissing the black screen for now.

"Hmm… where did that woman go…?"

It's useless. I don't know if she's using an invisibility skill or what, but that werebeast player has completely vanished. She isn't triggering any of the traps either, something that would help me locate her quickly, but that isn't much of a surprise, as they can be detected or avoided, and several traps are activated remotely from here.

As for the other two…

"Spy. Hit me."

"Why should I be the first to do it? You do it first."

With their bodies completely covered by The Black Horde's bugs, crawling over their skin, the two are arguing about who should attack the other first. They must want to try how it feels to have all the damage they deal reduced to zero.

This is something no normal player would want to try, especially not during an important tournament match… But as I've said several times before, they aren't exactly what one might call 'normal'.

By the way, I say 'arguing', but the discussion ends almost as quickly as it begins.

"All right!" The wereshark, with his terrifying teeth glowing ominously, exposed by his even more terrifying smile, and the deranged look in his eyes, nods his head. "Here. I. Come!"

He loosens his muscles and clenches his hand into a fist. Then, a large amount of light starts to accumulate around him, flowing towards his right arm and finally into his clenched fist.

Don't tell me he's going to…

"W-what are you doing…!?" The player called Spy takes a step back, panicking. "This wasn't part of our pl–"

"Oh, Great Teacher! Please watch this humble student as he fully tastes your newest creations! Hahaha! Now die, Spy!"

"Don't use Meteor Punch on meeeeeee!"

The player called Spy immediately starts running away, but with an unbelievable speed burst that mismatches his large frame, the wereshark catches up to him and slams his fist down.

"Aren't we on the same tea–"

*Booooom!*

As soon as the fist lands, a large explosion makes the passage shake, and dust flies everywhere. When the visual effects clear up, there's a newly-made crater in the dungeon, one I didn't create.

…yep. I was right.

Since he wanted to test how the curse works, and his teammate Spy was covered by The Black Horde, and the 'easiest' way to kill them was to use a deadly area of effect skill… Meteor Punch was perfect for the job. Maybe a bit overkill, but it would certainly do the job.

And talking about 'doing the job'. Since his teammate happened to be inside the explosion's zone 'by pure coincidence'. He just 'happened to be hit by the attack'.

I'm sure that, to that wereshark player, his teammate's death is just an 'unfortunate' and 'inevitable' side-effect of his effort to fully experience my latest creation.

My gaze lands on the crater created by the shark-man. There, countless The Dark Horde bugs' corpses lay on the ground, as well as the body of the player called Spy. The shark-man laughs crazily on the edge of the crater, still fully covered by the black bugs.

My heart skips a beat, happy at the unexpected boon. One less crazy player to deal with. But before I can rejoice, a voice snaps both me and the wereshark player out of our thoughts.

"A-aren't we supposed to be on the same team!?"

Another Spy appears from behind a rock, this one free of bugs. At the same time, the one at the bottom of the crater starts to dissipate into smoke.

I gasp. "That's Emergency Escape!"

This is a skill that usually only ranged players take, because, unlike other survival skills, which are more reliable, it also moves you away. Since ranged players want, well… range, Emergency Escape saves them and gives the desired range at the same time.

But this is yet another of those survival skills that are tricky to pull off. Not because it may not trigger, which of course is possible when the damage isn't high enough, but because the teleport is random. More than once, I've seen players being 'saved' by this skill just to end up inside a lava lake or similar deadly situations…

Luckily for this Spy guy, there was no Abyss gap nearby that he had to worry about.

The wereshark player clicks his tongue. "Tsk. So you survived?"

"Not thanks to you!"

Spy glares at his teammate, but the wereshark just laughs it off.

"But wasn't it funny? Hahaha! Now it's your turn! Hit me with everything you've got, Spy! Make me regret attacking you before, hahaha!"

With a dangerous smile on his face, Spy takes out a hidden crossbow from his clothes and points it at his teammate. But right then, he shakes his head and points it upwards, towards the ceiling. He activates a skill and shoots the bolt into the air.

As the projectile flies, its trajectory is affected by gravity, quickly pulling it down, and at the same time, it starts splitting. First are two bolts, then it's four, eight, sixteen… By the time the attack lands on the wereshark and the bugs covering his body, the bolts have multiplied so much that they look like a cloud.

But, defying all my expectations yet again – I swear, I'll never get used to their craziness –, Spy's teammate doesn't run away. Instead, he opens his arms and puffs out his chest, ready to receive the attack head-on.

"Aaah…! Nothing like an arrow shower after waking up in the morning, hahaha!"

"..."

Should I retort here? Nah. It'll be better for my mental health if I just ignore it.

What comes next is what I expected. Expected coming from them, I mean. The two madmen congratulate each other for being cursed successfully, checking they can't deal any damage by simultaneously attacking the other, and disregarding everything else around them.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I'm soooooo tired of them!

They keep enjoying my plans instead of suffering. They keep ignoring my presence, acting as if this were an amusement park. I should be the one taking revenge after all the suffering they've inflicted upon me, but they're enjoying it instead!

But now's the perfect time to strike! Now that they've wasted two ace-like skills on each other, and they're fully cursed and can't fight back… It's revenge time!

"Hahaha! The last to laugh will be me!" I say, pressing a button.

Unaware of my actions, the two continue their banter. But they'll realize soon… Soon, they'll regret their actions.

Or at least, that's what I hope. Releasing the doggos is a good way to finish them off right now. The only problem is that the door opened by my button isn't next to them, so they'll have to find the invaders first.

Eventually (and hopefully) they'll find the crazy bastards before the curse wears off, and tear them to shreds! Hahaha!

As if sensing danger is coming, the two lunatics suddenly perk up, but their reactions are the complete opposite. The wereshark player starts to excitedly look around, like a child searching for a hidden present. On the contrary, his teammate squints his eyes, as if expecting danger.

But, realizing that nothing's happening yet, the two decide to continue their exploration.

"Hahaha! They've finally stepped into my trap!" It took them long enough. "Finally, it's showtime!"

I start pressing several buttons in front of me, remotely activating the traps placed in that underground tunnel.

Knowing they're crazy, I was about 90% sure they'd look for The Black Horde we used to beat the first team, and I was right. This is why I set up most of the traps nearby, and the reason I placed even more The Black Horde bugs in this corridor than in the previous match. I didn't even move them somewhere else to guarantee they'd find them.

The remaining 10%, you're asking?

They're crazy, remember? As (regretably) knowledgeable as I am about their thought processes, it's impossible to fully predict their actions.

Metal spikes pop out of the ground and walls. The wereshark, in the lead, twists his body with a stupid grin on his face, skillfully avoiding them all. But even if he avoided them, the spikes will hinder his movements for the next traps. This is the main reason I activated them first.

"A little bit of this, a little bit of that… Fufufu! Hahaha!"

Following the metal spikes, several arrows and sawblades shot out of the walls. A mix of sleeping powder and poison seeps from the cracks on the ceiling, and several parts of the floor open or fall, creating deadly holes.

"Hahaha! This is fun!"

As he laughs, the shark-man keeps twisting his body to avoid most of the traps coming his way. More than a shark, he feels like an eel. His body ends up in grotesque angles, but he doesn't seem to mind it.

I didn't know a human body could twist like that… As they say, you'll learn new things every day, I guess.

But what puts me on edge isn't the wereshark's performance but his teammate's actions.

As if he knew where all the traps would come from, he safely avoids them. Right before the spikes appeared, he jumped back, out of their range. With the arrows and sawblades, he perfectly stood still at a safe spot, and against the poison and sleep powder, he intentionally allowed himself to get hit by both simultaneously, the poison safely neutralizing the sleep's effect.

There's, though, one unusual thing I've noticed. He keeps glancing at his teammate's actions, but I'm not sure why he does it. After all, isn't he the one who can safely avoid the traps? What reason could he have to observe his teammate so closely?

Under the trap's assault, the wereshark's HP has fallen below a third of its maximum. Of course, his teammate's Arrow Rain and The Black Horde's nibbling have significantly contributed to this.

"It's time to deliver the final blow, hahaha!"

I press another button, activating the final and most dangerous trap. From the end of the passage, a large metallic roller, filled with spikes, appears. It crushes everything in its path, metal spikes included, approaching the two in the middle of the passage.

"There's no way out!" I say to myself. "Let's see if you can survive this!"

I'm not sure about the guy called Spy, because he's doing quite fine, but the wereshark? He should die as soon as the spikes touch him.

Like a deadly bulldozer, the rolling metal pin smashes everything it touches to bits. As it approaches, the wereshark player realizes he can't run away, and like any 'normal' (crazy) player would do, he suddenly drops to the floor and starts rolling over it, imitating the rolling pin.

Somehow, he doesn't get dizzy. Even more surprising is that he manages to dodge the metal spikes blocking the path. Every time he approaches one of the holes I opened up, he jumps like a fish out of water, safely skipping over it and resuming his rolling on the other side of the hole.

Even after all that, he's keeping up with the rolling pin's speed!

I end up watching his ridiculous behavior with my mouth wide open. "Is that even possible!?"

Although the wereshark's actions are surprising, his teammate's resolute decision is even more surprising. Without doubting it for a second, he takes out his crossbow once more, lodges it between two rocks near one of the Abyss gaps, and uses it as an anchor to jump inside without falling into it, safely getting out of the rolling pin's way.

Those moves! That instinct! The guy called Spy might really be the most dangerous member of their group!

What's up with this crazy-normalness? Shouldn't all Mad Cultists disregard everything in favor of their obsession with having a 'good time'?

By the way, their 'good time' is called suffering by normal people.

He truly is the most dangerous member in their group. I must keep an eye on him and not let my guard down; otherwise, he might beat me…

"Weeeeeee∼!"

"..."

You know what? I take it back. The wereshark is more dangerous… for my mental health, I mean.

But at the very least, the rolling pin successfully manages to do one thing: to split their team into two.

Running away from it – or should I say 'rolling away'? –, the wereshark enters a familiar laboratory room. Before he can do anything else, and more importantly, before he can say anything, I press a few more buttons.

The doors close, and an immense amount of water starts to pour in from large pipes near the ceiling.

My image appears on the large screen.

"Hahaha! You fell into my trap! Let's see how you get out of this alive!" I swear. It's hard to put on a proper act when I just want to run away and be done with this shit.

The dreaded Radiation Pylons reveal themselves once more, except that this time they're scattered through the walls as well as the floor. From the large pipes, a few skeleton fish appear, repeating the fight that crushed our first opponents, except that this time they're skeleton fish instead of deformed meat dogs.

Or at least, that's how it should have been.

"Amazing! A new trap!" The wereshark claps his hands, staring at the 'me' in the giant screen. "But… Oh, Great Mad Rat! Please forgive me for not accepting your blessings today. There's a higher mission we must accomplish today, and I must resist the temptation to fully enjoy your blessings, hahaha!"

Noooo! Don't resist it! Just let yourself be killed! I internally shout.

"You think so? Then let's play!"

Luckily, there's no way he can survive now. With just 20% health remaining, isolated, with no exit, and in a room filled with water and skeleton fish, he's done for.

This is what I believe, until the wereshark starts swimming. As the water keeps rising, he finds it easier to maneuver. Since he can't fight back due to the curse, he instead switches to evasion. The skeleton fish, which should have been faster than him, can't catch up, and the freedom to move in a 3D space gives him an easy way to avoid taking any damage from the Radiation Pylons.

"...Fuck."

I know, I know. This one's on me. I'm stupid for expecting a water trap to work against a wereshark. His speed isn't affected underwater, and he can transform into a fucking shark that boosts his underwater speed even further.

I didn't think this through… "Aaah… I don't know what to do with them." My head feels like it's about to explode.

They're worse than cockroaches! It's impossible to get rid of them!

A sudden sound behind me awakens me from my mental trauma. It's the inconfusible door of a biological hazard door being unsealed, which means one of the doors to this room is being opened.

"How weird," I say, tilting my head and scratching my cheek. "Did I press the wrong button…?"

I turn my head back, towards the noise. As expected, I see the door, still not fully open, and an unexpected visitor. The girl, using a werebeast Champion of some kind of feline, not sure which one yet, seductively walks inside the laboratory, walking on all fours.

I say 'seductively', but I use the word as a joke.

Her moves and swaying hips sure are seductive… for a feline, that is. Given that her only feline traits are her ears on top of her head and her tail, her 'seductive' moves, in human form, make her look like a clown pretending to be an animal in heat.

So this is where she was… She has been searching for me all this time. Surprised by her sudden appearance, this is my only thought right now.

"Prey acquired. Now, let's mate!"

With a sudden sprint and unexpected words, the cat-girl pounces at me, making a purring growl. Her eyes send me a predatory glare.

What. The. FUCK!?