The Love They Never Had

"I heard that the Young Master likes to go to the brothel's to hear the women sing. Do you think that is why he gave that new maid a special status?" "If she can sing, she had better know the song 'a gem intactly returned', she can sing that song to the fullest." "Where did you hear that from?" "Don't you worry about that, let us get on with our chores. And hopefully, we can also seduce the Young Master for a better future also." "Shall I wear my best dress when I see him? Shall I send him complimentary teas? So he can remember me? In any case, he will not forget me like he did with that maid whom he promised a relationship with..." those were the horrible rumours that I woke up to the very next day, still in my dress on the floor of my quarters where I had cried my eyes out all night long and nobody cared at all. At first, all I cared about was my future in this household. But now? Who wouldn't crave even a fraction of the warmth that the Young Mistress and the Young Master shared with each other. They both seemed to be walking on the same path together, hand in hand and eyes only for each other. But as what? Cousins? Families? Or something more? Even though it was extremely unusual, there were stories of the noble class far exceeding their luxury and power by having intimate relations with family members. So no-one could blame me for being paranoid, can they?

"Young Mistress?" "What is it?" "There is a new batch of servants who are coming in to serve in this household!" "Ok, let me get ready and I will..." "The Young Master has put his cousin in charge of them! She is in the kitchen right now, instructing them on their jobs!" "Excuse me? What did you just say? Why would the cousin do that when he has me? Isn't this what he took me in for?" "We have to ask him. Quickly get dressed..." "No, there is no time for that! Quickly, we have to catch him before he enters the palace for his training!"

I was in such a frenzy that I could barely remember to wash myself or try to take out the creases in my dress before I found myself waiting outside of the young master's quarters where his father was going off on him out of nowhere.

"What do you think you are doing! You're not even looking at your books! Do you want to make me a laughing stock when I bring you up in front of the Emperor himself!" "I have been studying all night long, My Lord, I haven't even gone to sleep yet." It broke my heart to hear the young master lower his tone of voice for his supposed father, a lot more than I realised in fact. "You have studied for a whole night and you have barely gotten through half a book? Is this some sort of joke to you? You cannot even keep up with the tasks that Min-Ho could so easily do! And what on earth...where is that greasy smell coming from? Are you hiding food in here? If you are, then so help me god I will..." "Of course I'm not hiding food! I haven't taken a bath yet after training all day, that is all." "My goodness, do you need to be told that you need to bathe after training? At 20 years of age?" "Will you give me a break! I am already doing everything that you are telling me to already..." "A break? You want a break? An illegitimate child like you has no worth in this life at all, you are already incredibly lucky that you have a place under a nobleman such as myself. There are no breaks in life, and more importantly in the palace, where a single mistake can eat you up for the rest of your life! Have you learnt nothing from me?" I could hear some objects being thrown around and smashed against the cold floor which the young master was supposed to sit on all day long without a lit fire in sight. I really wanted to burst into that room and save him somehow, but I was instantly held back by one of the new servant girls who clearly had feelings for him as well. How else would she be so bold as to stop me like this?

But before I could even get a word in, the cousin was by his side at once with a calming tea and another plate of food to keep him full before he had started his work training with an assuring smile on her face just for him. It was like I didn't exist at all. And the worst thing of all was that she didn't even need to open her mouth once, she just cleaned up the mess that his father made as soon as he left and she made sure that he ate every single grain of rice before she got called out by the new maids for something or another. And for the life of me, I could not forget the look on his face when she walked away in that moment when she left him without saying goodbye. And I couldn't stand this anymore, this weird tension that they had with each other. If I just let things continue like this, when was it going to be my turn to shine in front of him? I worked damned hard to get where I was now and I was not going to let anyone that this opportunity from me.

"Young Master. Why didn't you come to see me on our first night together? Why didn't you..." "First night together? What are you talking about?" He didn't even look up at me, he was still having his tea and sitting out some documents on his desk and doing everything he could to stop looking at the door as if his precious cousin would come back any time to keep him company again. "You...you said that I..." "I told you that you have a chance a being a concubine if you can manage this household right in my father's absence. Do you have any indication of what you have done?" "What do you mean? I made all of the necessary changes..." "They were completely unnecessary and my father is furious about it. That is why he vented his anger out on me this morning! For your mistakes!" "But how...why...I was only following what I had learnt from my previous Master...." "Well it looks like they have deceived you on purpose to make the mess that you have here! You have underpaid the staff, right when I am about to make an entrance to the palace and everyone is talking it. And gossip like this tarnishes the family reputation that my father has worked hard to maintain. Not only that, you have decided to cut our budgets for absolutely no reason when you know that families such as mine thrive on wealth and luxury. You have caused everyone to panic, as if we cannot maintain everyone in our household. So now on top of my new job, I now have to scout for new maids who know how to keep their mouths shut. So because of you, all of the maids and servants who have served my family for years have now lost their jobs and are unable to provide for their families! How thoughtless and dense can you be! You didn't even consult with my father before making these decisions! And you want to be a concubine! Tell me, what sort of concubine creates a mess for her husband to clean up after being lectured by his father about it! Does it make any sense!"

I couldn't believe this, all I had done was follow the examples I had seen in various noble households and even followed Chun-Ae's example in everything that she bragged about! So what went wrong? Unless...unless the girl really was delusional and she lied about all of her achievements in this household. I couldn't believe this, she set me up to fail before I even had the chance to impress the Young Master with everything that I had been trying my hardest to learn. I was working on my literacy, I was working on finding the household rule book of this family and I did everything in my power to win over the servants in this home so I could rule over them just like Chun-Ae did. But not only have I lost their faith in me to treat them well, I had even cost them their jobs, their livelihoods. Now what was I to do? I had little money to win over the new servants, and would they even listen to me after this mess that I had created? Servants created a network of information and gossip; one bad mistake on my end would not only harm the reputation of the family I was serving, but also myself. Had I really survived so many trials and tribulations just to end up as a scorned maid, and nothing more? And now after being chewed out by the man who I was supposed to marry, I now had to face my future father-in-law? My god, who knows if I could survive this? I had been put up against some tough Master's before, but Nam-Jeon was on a whole other level. Just the thought of him raising his voice against me was enough to make me almost collapse onto the floor in fright. But if I thought that I was already almost reduced to tears now, it was nothing compared to what Nam-Jeon put me through. Before I could even take a step into his office, I was punished with the scarlet red and almost reduced to a cripple when a brand new servant whom I had never seen before came in with a bunch of new suggestions that completely reversed every decision that I took upon myself. The old servants would be moved to other properties owned by the Nam's, the new servants would be trained under the senior maids and the debts of their pay would be made up if they used to reserves of what we had instead of buying new products just for show. I couldn't believe that my mistake would be cleared up in just a few minutes by someone who was younger and lower than me in status. But I immediately had a feeling that this had something to do with the cousin that I had very clearly underestimated.

My prospects were ruined before anyone got to see what I could do, what I was capable of and how much of an asset to this family I could be. Chun-Ae had set me up but she was already dead before the Nam's even set out to war. But as for this cousin who kept showing up out of nowhere and stealing my thunder, she was going to have to pay a heavy price for all of the humiliation that I had been through in a single day. But before I could even start on her, I had to do a little investigation of my own and get rid of some doubts I was having about this girls identity and who she was exactly. I was only going to win this war if I fully understood who exactly my enemy was.