The Love They Never Had

"Alright, I have some things to discuss with The Fifth Prince, you can rest up in your quarters and do not even think of bothering Seo Yeon, and keep you new friend away from her, or you shall answer to The Royal Family and even loose custody of your son!" ",My Lady, I cannot believe that he spoke to you like that…" "Enough! Who dares to criticise my husband!" "Mistress, please forgive us…" "…I showed up with everything he wanted and he still didn't care at all, his son's existence doesn't give him any heartache either, but just one mention of that orphan girl and his complex changed entirely. How regrettable of him to desire someone that wasn't meant for him at all." "Aren't you afraid that you will be punished if your husband realises that…" 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, and a favour for a favour, that was our deal, wasn't it. The more that I can help her, the more my husband will forget her sooner rather than later." "And the Lady Min? She will torture her for sure…" "Only she herself can decide to become our pawn or nemesis, and I have worked far too hard to get where I am now. Please settle down my son, I shall return to my quarters to rest soon."

"…is thee nothing that you can do about this? I cannot accept this marriage because I sincerely want Seo Yeon and only her! I am willing to accept everything about her; her good and her bad, the intensity of her love and her hatred, and the clear distinction of her gratitude and grudge from her. I rarely make promises at all and you know that, but I will keep her as close to you as you need her to be if you let me marry her. I will war, her heart in the same way that she did for…him and I will obtain it." "Even if she remains heartless, you still will no change your mind? What about your wife?" "That damned women trapped me into marriage with her bastard child that she is waving over my head. And she will meet someone better eventually, someone who will cherish her like how I cherish Yeon…"

I returned back to my quarters with a heavy heart, but it wasn't broken from him, that had happened a long time ago. I knew that Master Dal was a selfish bastard who couldn't have true feelings for anyone, but I was being proved wrong about how much he cared for Yeon, and I hated it. Why should he receive his happy ending when he destroyed my life and that of our child that he refused to acknowledge. But it was for our son's sake that I needed to make this work and as for The Lady Min, well, she was on her own now. And as for you husband, I know that you do not love me and I am not asking for your love at all. Just let me stay with you for the sake of our son and any future children that we may have together, even it is damned painful to stay in a loveless marriage. But I wasn't a young girl anymore, and I am a mother first now, unlike my own mother who would sell me for a bag of rice. I cannot let my baby suffer and I cannot let misled suffer more humiliation and disappointment, enough was enough now.

"Someone attend to me and pass on my gift to The Young Mistress Seo." "My Lady, will this harm her?" "Do not worry, it will only make her drunk and she refuses to see my husband, so no harm will come for her. This is for something else, just do as you are told and return here to wait upon my son."

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"So what is this banquet for now? Are we welcoming my so-called fiancé's main wife now? At long last, she finally turns up before I strangle him to death." "Young Mistress, maybe we should just leave it? You shall be humiliated either way since…" "since what? Since he thinks that have survived on his grace alone for the past year, when in fact I am only being kept here as a vip guest for The Fifth Prince who will soon use me as a pawn against his brother and mine? Besides, any 'humiliation' that I suffer will only rebound onto him, so what do I care? Let us both dress up for the first time in a very long time and enjoy this banquet for once." "But you're injury…." "I am fine, and so are you, unless you wish to stay here and get some rest? You haven't taken a single day off in a year serving me." "Thank you, My Lady, I shall just turn in early tonight I think." "Very well, I will dress up and I want to see this main wife before we both make our way into the dining hall together."

"… the first comb signifies everlasting love, the second comb signifies growing old together and the third comb signifies longevity…" "Forgive me, but I wonder if The Mistress will accept a guest into her quarters?" "Of course, show her to her seat and give her a drink. I do hope that you liked my gift, Young Mistress Seo?" "I do and I appreciate it Mistress, I just wanted to meet you and express my gratitude." "Very well, you can drink a little bit more whilst I finish getting ready and do not forget not to spill anything on your lovely dress." "I am not a very big drinker, and I am surprised at how welcoming you are despite my…complicated relationship with your husband…." "You are on your own here with very little supervision, who cares if you drink or not? And besides, we both know that you have a husband, and it isn't mine, so why should I entertain hostilities, especially when I already have everything one can ask for? A husband, a son, a noble title and money to spend."

"Forgive me, what do you mean that I already have a husband…?" "You do, do you not? Any woman in our position would recognise your walk instantly." "My walk….?" "You know, the walk of a woman who has lost her virginity? It is very different to how we walk before we do…"

Very rarely did I get to come across a woman who was so…frank, just like the old Madame of the Ihwaru brothel who always has a soft spot for me and let me in, even when I wasn't supposed to be in there at all. And I had gone through so much already that it was also rare for me to be comfortable with any woman besides Hwa-Wol and Kim Hyeon. But this girl had all the reason in the world to try and kill me, but she didn't even seem to hate me, truly. She rather reminded myself of the girl that I used to be before I regained my memories. And it was rather painful to see someone else so carefree when that was exactly who I used to be before my world urned upside down onto my very head…

"Young Mistress! Are you quite alright?" "Forgive me, I…thought that. Saw somebody outside of your window. And as for my walk…I recently got into an accident with a horse…" Young Mistress, I assure you that I have no-one in my life to confide in your secrets in, so do not worry about it. My son is 2 years old already and I have only been married for 2 days, so who am I to say anything at all?" "Why don't you believe me?" "Because we all saw how The Young Master Nam was as soon as he ran into his father's yangban with you in his arms an unconscious. He was practically crying his eyes out, out of guilt. And that wasn't all." "What do you mean?" "The Young Master Nam back then, he did something to you when you were still unconscious?" "What do you mean? What are you talking about? He didn't even let me touch him back then…" "so you already know what it is then!" "No I…i seriously have no idea." "Do not play coy little games with me, Seo Yeon. I personally saw him kiss you just as the physician left. On the lips. And…he never kissed the kisaeng that he was with, not even once." "Nam Seon-Ho kissed me…on the lips…before I even woke up…"

"What on earth is going on here! What are you both doing!" "I am just meeting with my husband's future concubine…" "what is wrong with her! What did you do to her! Did you poison her! Wha are you trying to do here!" "Will you let go of my hand! You are going to break it!" 'Then heed my advice and stop all of your tricks this instant! Just focus on your empty role, that is your only job here! Let the girl rest now and you come with me to this damned banquet now! Do not try anything funny, I am warning you!" "Well well, it looks like someone has pulled a bewitching trick of her own. I wonder what exactly this little slut did to seduce every man in her sight…"! "Enough! She has absolutely nothing to do with you! And I will punish her if you ever try to meet her again! And I will know if you do or not! And I am sure that you can only imagine the consequences of those actions! If you hurt her, you would only put your son at a disadvantage…" "Enough! Don't you dare threaten your son, just like how your own father couldn't recognise you when he beat you as a child….!" "Enough!" I only managed to hear Dal slap his wife right across the face as I just sat on the floor in pure shock after what had just been revealed to me only minutes ago. Seon-Ho really kissed me before I changed? And I was still Seo Yeon, the epileptic orphaned daughter of Seo Geom? But why? Why would he do that even before all of this schemes, his various women, his plot against his father and in the early stages of my brother's involvement? But why…

I must have had one too many glasses of liquor, because the room was suddenly spinning around me and I had lost control of my limbs entirely. My vision was blurry, my mouth was dry and my hands started shaking again just like when I had my fits. I had to get out of here and lie down in my own bed so I could forget about everything that I had just heard with my own ears that was making me sick to my stomach.

"…servants! Send Seo Yeon back to her bed quickly, before she throws up, she has clearly had far too much to drink. And call for the physician, and request for a certain kind of medicine to be made for me, under the name of…"

I barely remembered whilst I was being carried to my room seeing his face in the window before I drank, I remembered catching a whiff of his scent by the window curtains, I remembered seeing the hem of his favourite blue robes by the wife's door and I remembered caching the tips of his hair in my fingers before I was tucked into bed by the servant since my one wasn't where she said she would. Or maybe I imagined it all, just like I imagined hoarding his voice as clear as day as soon as the servant left and closed the for behind him, leaving me in the dark and complexly on my own and vulnerable around a very angry, very petty, very dangerous and big man with wise shoulders and a hard chest to match who I could feel was hovering over me as soon as I was left on my own and still drunk enough that I felt my body paralysis unde his gaze that I couldn't quite catch in the dark, but I felt it burn into my soul. And it frightened me, to the point were I couldn't even open my mouth to call for help before he pressed his lips on top of mine, and then his teeth biting hard and making me in a place that I couldn't possibly forget about for the rest of my life.