The Loneliest Ballad

"Of course he blames you." The old woman rolled her eyes. "Who's fault could it be besides the wife's? Do you lie with him often?"

Far, far too often for my liking, Celia said to herself. "Yes."

"That's hardly a surprise. What man wouldn't desire a pretty girl like you for his bed? But tell me, does he give you any pleasure?"

"No."

"Does your husband care for you at all?"

"Not in the slightest."

If the witch was surprised but Celia's blunt replies, she didn't show it. "Give me your hand, child, so that I may examine you."

Celia stepped forward, forcing herself to stay still and silent even as Thea took her right hand into her own.

Thank the lord she didn't grab my left hand, she thought.

The old woman spent a long time studying her hand, feeling for her pulse and slowly tracing the lines on her palm.

Finally, Thea let go of her and gestured for Celia to take a seat again.

"Can you tell what's wrong with me? Am I barren?" Celia's words tumbled out before she could watch her tongue. Oh well, she thought. No point delaying bad news, is there?

"You're not barren. Quite the opposite, actually. You're a healthy, fertile young woman."

Celia stared hard into the witch's eyes, searching for any signs of dishonesty. "You're not just saying that to mollify me and just send me on my way, are you? Because if it's gold you need to give me a hard truth, I can pay you well-"

"Good heavens, girl!" Thea snapped, then gave a little huff. "I live in semi darkness, hidden from everyone. I have a few loyal supporters who make sure I have everything I need, so long as I never make myself known to the outside world. All I can do is survive in my secret little space until my body finally fails me. Do you really think a purse of gold is going to drastically improve things?"

"Sorry." Celia muttered, feeling her cheeks burn. No mountain of gold was going to change the crone's circumstances or buy her freedom. "It didn't really occur to me that gold wouldn't really change a situation like yours…I know it should've…never mind. Can you please then explain why you think I'm not barren?"

Thea's expression cleared and became calm again, like a short storm disappearing beyond the horizon. "You show no signs of it. Your heart and blood beat steadily, your skin glows with health and your veins are full. There's no reason why you can't bear a child."

"Then why…?" Celia threw her hands up in frustration. "I've been married for almost a year! Everyone's upset with me! Do you know the insults that have been thrown my way?"

"I'm quite sure I can guess." the old woman said sourly. "But sometimes these things can take time."

"I don't have time!" Celia winced as she clenched her fists, making the healing wound on her palm sting slightly. "I have to fix this problem right away or I don't know what will become of me."

"If this man discards you for another, will you really grieve the loss of him?"

"No, not him…but…" Celia bit her lip. How could she explain things without revealing her identity? That if her marriage was annulled, it would represent failure for two countries?

And especially for the Royal House of Devon.

"Please." she begged. "Is there anything you can do to help me? Anything at all? I'm desperate."

"Alright." Thea spoke with a deep sigh, then pushed herself off the bed and onto her feet. She shuffled over to a bookshelf and began rummaging through pouches and bottles, muttering to herself.

Eventually, Thea shuffled back to stand in front of Celia. She held out a small glass vial filled with a clear liquid. "One drop under your tongue every morning. No more than that. Understood?"

Celia took the tiny vial and studied it. "What is this liquid?"

"A mixture of plant essences that aids a woman's fertility. But it's very powerful and too much will cause more harm than good. That's why one drop daily is more than enough." Thea raised a brow. "Don't be silly and think to yourself that taking all of it at once just before you lie with your husband, will fix everything. Quite the opposite."

Celia squirmed. Were her thoughts so easy to read? "I understand. One drop a day, no more."

"Oh, how foolish of me." Thea startled, then hurried back to her bookshelf. After several more moments of searching, she presented Celia with a second vial. It was as small as the first, but the liquid inside was as black as ink.

"Once you have done your duty and provided heirs, I assume you'll want to end that season of your life? Unless you want to let your fertility run unchecked like a river in flood?"

"Oh! Well…I've never really thought about it." Celia stuttered. She felt stupid admitting it, but she really hadn't. She'd never stopped to think about what came after giving Tobin his precious son.

And now that she was thinking about it, she realised that being stuck in a loop of bearing baby after baby for a man she loathed sounded, well, hideous.

"You're right, Thea. I just never realised I could have a measure of control over the number of children I bear."

"Very few women do. That kind of knowledge is specifically banned by the church."

"But why is that?" Celia shook her head. "Why does a celibate pope and his celibate bishops care about women being able-"

"Because men use the gift of our fertility as a weapon against us, as a tool to control us." Thea eased her body back onto her bed, then gave Celia a shrewd smile. "How do you think your husband would react if he knew you were the one in control of your family's size, not him?"

Or lord, wouldn't that be a disaster, the princess frowned? Tobin wouldn't see anything wrong with her bearing endless children. In fact, he'd celebrate it. Even if she didn't want it, or her health broke down because of it.

And if she died in childbed, he'd simply find another wife to replace her without giving her a second thought.