Chapter 33: Chapter 33
The return trip to the Owl House was done with haste and Luz almost wore herself out rushing to get the acoustic guitar she used in her bard lessons (and occasionally to perform for Amity.) Luckily, there was coffee left from earlier, and Hooty had baked muffins while they were gone for... Some reason.
"Non-dairy, hoot hoot!" he explained, so after a brief snack and a chance to re-caffeinate, Luz was ready to go... She'd have to thank Lilith later. While Luz hadn't been able to find a demon realm soda with a similar flavor profile and caffeine content to Mountain Dew and thus had yet to experiment with Loki's advice, her coffee recipe as it turned out was rather similar to one that Lilith had started experimenting with around the time she'd joined the Empero's coven and, having thirty years of experience on Luz in such matters, was able to give her some advice. Switching to a different roast for the beans and using a different type of filter had done wonders for toning down the bitterness which combined a few other tweaks and using fire bee honey instead of sugar to sweeten it... Well, let's just say that it ended with something better tasting and significantly less bitter but with a fraction of the empty calories and no loss in caffeine content.
...Based on Eda's reaction when they first made it, however, it was still something of an acquired taste.
"Okay kids," Eda began, "you need a love song, and the purer the better. Luckily a... An old friend and I wrote a song that should do the trick. Now, it was originally composed for the viola and the mandolin so we're gonna have to tweak it a bit... Boots, what kind of instrument have you got anyway?"
Amity opened her case and pulled out—
"Is that an electric guitar?" Luz asked.
In Amity's arms was a device that very much looked the part, made of curved bonze panels and solid lavender abomination slime. Even the strings were made of slime, though... There was what looked like a small speaker in the bottom corner of it as well.
"...I guess?" Amity declared. "At first I wasn't sure what I was going to do with bard magic but... I was inspired by the music we danced to in the human realm and... I mixed four different kinds of magic with abomination tech to make this. My own custom instrument. If I flip this switch here it goes from standard guitar to bass guitar." Amity did as such the instrument changed shape as the slime liquified and reformed, frets adjusted and six strings merged into four thicker strings. "There's a built-in amplifier with adjustable volume, and I can even program in a simulated drum track for when I'm playing solo."
"My girlfriend is a genius!" Luz declared proudly.
"That I am," Amity agreed with a smile, which made Luz smile back at her.
"Okay," Eda said as she dug through her own hair... For a full minute. "I need to put some shelves up here," she muttered before finally pulling out some sheet music. "So there's a bit of a story behind this song, maybe I'll tell it to you sometime..."
TLOA
Hunter stood before his uncle as the Emperor inspected the portal key. He didn't even want to think about how severely he'd be punished if his uncle couldn't repair the key...
"I can work with this," the Emperor said after an agonizing series of moments. "The key will need to be repaired, but there's still plenty of time before the day of Unity. You may have failed in retrieving the portal but this is an... acceptable alternative."
Hunter couldn't remember the last time he'd received such unambiguous praise from his uncle. And yet... "Is there anything else you need from me, sir?"
"No. You are..." The Emperor turned to Hunter, his body language taking on a more curious posture as he tilted. "Is there something on your mind, Hunter?"
Hunter had to be careful with how he answered. If his uncle didn't like what he said, Hunter might lose another notch out of his ear. "It's... The human. The girl you said was blessed by the Titan."
"What about her?"
"She... She was hurt pretty badly," Hunter admitted. "When the key cracked and the Titan Blood inside spilled on her it... That coven sigil... I know she's our enemy but, she's blessed by the Titan. I... I know I shouldn't but... I want to help her."
Hunter braced himself for his uncle's reaction but instead of getting angry, his uncle sighed, almost wistfully. "Compassion isn't a sin, Hunter. This girl isn't like the Wild Witches our scouts hunt for, she's not defying our system out of malice. She's merely... Misguided. The truth is, I can see why she might think that a life of chaos and freedom with the Owl Lady is a good thing: Have I told you of my own time in the human realm?"
"No," Hunter replied, "I've heard rumors but..."
"It's a wonderful place," his uncle said as he removed his mask revealing a wizened man with a nasty green car across his face. "The trees are green, the nights are quiet, and the rain is cold and refreshing. But someone like Luz the human... The last time I visited that place, someone like her would have been a savage. Or a slave."
This took Hunter aback. "What makes you so sure?"
"Slave labor was a necessary evil in my time in the human realm," his uncle explained, "but rather than employ say, criminals, some elected to capture others from their homes in other lands with different, less civilized cultures and treated them as property. Working conditions were often, as the humans say, inhumane. I can't quite place the girl's features, she's clearly of mixed blood, but it's clear that she has ancestry from places whose people were commonly enslaved in the part of the human realm I am familiar with."
"Her features?" Hunter asked, confused.
"Humans aren't like witches, Hunter, where skin and hair and eye shape vary wildly within the same region. Typically in a single region those native to it will look broadly similar."
"How could people justify kidnapping others from their homes to, do what?"
"Mostly domestic chores or agricultural tasks, from what I recall," the Emperor clarified, "and as for how it was justified... Mostly, by claiming that they were ignorant, and through that ignorance were spiritually impure. Lesser. It's a tactic of propaganda of which I am uncomfortably familiar."
"Did the wild witches try something similar when you were unifying the Isles?" Hunter asked.
"Yes," his uncle said confidently. "Now truthfully, I'm not quite sure why the humans I knew went to such extremes. There were and are much greater problems than justifying the oppression of the labor, and if the ignorance of savages made them spiritually lesser then would it not be prudent to educate them and save their souls? Is one human life not worth the same as another? But I digress, Luz the human speaks too freely to be a runaway slave and too eloquently to be a savage. I presume that in my absence, human technology has progressed beyond the point where forced labor is necessary and the descendants of the slaves and other savages have been properly educated... But I can't see things having changed that much. She is likely still a second-class citizen in her homeland..." The Emperor smiled. "But, once I have the portal door and the Day of Unity is complete, I'll be able to properly help her instead of letting her be led astray by the Owl Lady."
Emperor Belos then replaced his mask. "If there's nothing else, you are dismissed."
Hunter turned to leave, glad that he hadn't been made to account for the detour he took that delayed his return to the palace, but he noticed something. "Uncle, do you smell sulf—"
Hunter suddenly became light-headed and then everything went black.
TLOA
Amity stepped into her own home if anything more nervous than when they arrived earlier that afternoon. The song and the bardic magic that went with it had been learned relatively easily, albeit with two snags: Eda had discovered that she could still do bardic magic despite her curse, but it was corrupted and would destroy most things in the area. And Luz... Couldn't do the nine main forms of magic. She could do basic elemental spells, but... Lilith suggested that it might be because Titan Blood or not, Luz didn't have bile or spell phlegms...
These problems had been addressed, however, by Eda taking more care when teaching them the song and helping them adapt it to their instruments and with the discovery that Luz could still participate in group spells...
The bigger problem, however, was that Luz was running on fumes. She was supposed to be resting today, not risking her health and her soul to save Amity's family from her mother's mistake... If what Luz had said about the devil they were up against was true, that he was bound by the letter of his deals, then her family would be safe no matter what but... If this didn't work, if they couldn't force him to forfeit, and if the 'neutral judges' rule in his favor then Luz would suffer in their place and... Even if they won, would she be okay?
Into the sitting room, they stepped, Eda and Lilith behind them. No sign of the devil who'd done this, but her family was still sitting in the flaming cage and... The twins were trying to get her attention, but no sound seemed to be passing through the bars.
Luz yawned, and drained the last of her "coffee" from the thermos she'd poured it in before they left... That stuff was probably the only reason she was still awake at this point as it was.
In a burst of flame and foul-smelling smoke, the fiend holding Amity's family captive appeared. He'd traded out the leather coat for a crimson cloak but kept the cane.
"My apologies for being late," he said with false jovialness. He snapped his fingers and the furniture in the room flew to the walls. Another snap and a table with three chairs appeared in the cleared space. "But you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find neutral judges. I had to settle on some people who don't much have a reason to like either of us."
He snapped a third time and in three puffs of smoke appeared three figures, sitting at that table. On the right, was the diminutive form of Kikimora, the Emperor's assistant. On the left, was the Golden Guard. And in the middle...
"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Emperor Belos himself.
Amity's blood ran cold. She knew that this... Devil was powerful but to casually summon one of the strongest witches in the Boiling Isles, who might... She forced herself not to panic. She was just going to... Reveal that she's studying multible forms of magic in front of the three people most likely to harm her for that. All in order to prevent her beloved girlfriend from having to sacrifice herself to save the souls of her family. All because her mother, Odalia, did something stupid.
...The messed up part was that just a few months ago she would have given anything to show off in front of the Emperor himself. What a fool she'd been.
"In short," Mephisto declared, "the human here, true to her name, has declared a challenge: If she and her little girlfriend can best me in a musical battle, I release the Blight family from a really nasty contract that Odalia signed without reading it. If I win, however, the girl takes their place. You're here because we need neutral judges and, well, you're the closest I could find on short notice."
"How dare you!?" demanded Kimimora, "do you—"
The small biped was interrupted with a wave of the Emperor's hand. "Now Kikimora. It's not wise to antagonize a being powerful enough to treat me of all people like a page to be called at whim. Not without knowing who and what they are... Proceed with your challenge for now," he finished coldly. "But be warned, there will be a reckoning for this, strange demon."
"We'll see about that," Mephisto declared, and then... Stepped out of himself. It was as if the frames of a roll of film changed, but the image of a previous frame was burned into its predecessors. He did this until he had six doppelgangers for a set of seven, which all animated at once, conjuring instruments from fire. The lead Mephisto held what appeared to be a golden violin and... Wouldn't that weight a ton and sound crummy? three of them had variations on a guitar though Amity only recognised the acoustic variety. One held a large bowed instrument that she recognized as a double bass, one held a mandolin, and the final was equipped with...
"Oh no," Luz muttered fearfully. "Not a banjo... Anything but that."
The band of Mephistos began playing and singing acapella. It sounded like the song was supposed to be rock, but this version was especially twangy. The lead Mephisto then went into lyrics.
"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. I've been around for a long long year, stole many a man's soul and faith!"
The song continued on as Mephisto proceeded to claim credit for various events that Amity had no context for, and asked for others to guess his name. Luz face palmed and the Emperor... Seemed to grow more and more uncomfortable with each second, especially toward the end when Mephisto sang a specific verse.
"Just as every cop is a criminal, and all the sinners, saints... As heads is tails, just call me Lucifer, 'cause I'm in need of some restraint! So if you meet me, have some courtesy, have some sympathy, and some taste. Use all your well-learned politesse, or I'll lay your soul to waste!"
As the fiend finished, Luz launched into a tirade. "You monster! Not only did you choose the single most on the nose song you possibly could have, but you had to go and butcher it by singing a Blue Grass version... You really are the devil, aren't you?"
"Well, that's the stupidest possible question you could have asked," Mephisto deadpanned. "Besides, if I played it straight I couldn't use the fiddle."
"You know that song's supposed to be sarcastic, right?"
"Don't care, now play your piece so we can get this over with," the devil declared as he absorbed his duplicates.
Amity and Luz each took a deep breath and composed themselves before starting to strum their respective instruments.
The song Eda had taught them was sweet and sensitive, and as the golden aura spread out from beneath their feet to bathe the room in orange hues Amity focused on the trick that made the song and its magic work: The song was written out of love, so to play it properly, and for the magic to be at it's most effective one had to be thinking of their loved ones while playing. So as Amity strummed and picked, she thought of hers.
Her wonderful, amazing girlfriend who loved her back more than she deserved, who was risking her health and soul to save Amity's family. Her siblings, who for all the trouble they'd caused her were still her brother and sister. Her dad... Her friends, Willow, Gus, Boscha... Eda, who'd taken her in when she had nowhere else to go... Camila, who accepted her into her daughter's life unconditionally... Even Lilith, now that the older witch had apologized and made it clear that she did care.
Only moments into their performance, Mephisto's body began to smoke. He fell to his knees and started belting out agonized screams as he covered his ears. Amity closed her eyes and continued to play, doing her best to tune the devil out and focus on the music and the people she cared for.
It wasn't a long song, just over two minutes, but... Hopefully, it would be enough.
They finished... And Amity's heart dropped. When she opened her eyes, Mephisto was still there. Smoldering, on his knees, breathing heavily, and radiating rage like she'd never felt before, but... Still there. The plan hadn't worked.
"...It's alright Amity," Luz whispered. "We've still got the orignal plan." ...The original plan that Luz had never explained to Amity.
"That... Was a dirty trick," Mephisto declared as he forced himself up. "I'm going to enjoy getting my hands on you, mortal..." He said with a threatening sneer aimed directly at Luz.
The response to that was for Eda and Lilith to step between Mephisto and Amity and Luz, staves drawn but he paid the Clawthorn sisters no mind. Instead, the devil simply gestured to the kidnapped heads of the Emperor's Coven.
"...Well, if we're looking at it objectively," Kikimora started for... Oh, Mephisto was gesturing directly at her. "The red fellow's song was performed better and, personally, there's something almost... Nostalgic for me, about his choice of instruments. If we have to participate in this sham, I have to give my vote to him."
Amity gulped as Mephisto smiled maliciously, and moved his hand so that he was now pointing at the Golden Guard.
"Well," the teen began, "while Kikimora has a point about technical skill, Blight and the human's song had more spirit. There was feeling to it while What's-his-name's song seemed to be running off of spite. And honestly, I think I just like that style of music more, so vote for the young couple."
A tied vote. That meant that the determination came down to... The single witch in all the Isles with the most reason to want something bad to happen to Luz.
"And you, Your Highness," Mephisto asked as he gestured to Belos.
"The truth is," the Emperor began, "I don't have much of an ear for music. Barring a few songs that are clearly just noise, it's all the same to me. But... Looking at why you preferred what you did... You admitted yourself to being a trickster who deceived my subjects into surrendering... What? Their souls, fiend? You are the worst sort of villain. Meanwhile, Luz the human despite how far astray she's been led by the Owl Lady unhesitatingly put herself at risk to save them. The Titan's will is clear, such benevolence must be rewarded. I have no choice," he finished, "but to vote in favor of Luz the human."
They won? They won! Sure, they'd probably be in big trouble with the Empeor's coven in a few minutes, but...
Mephisto looked for all the world like he was moments away from becoming an erupting volcano but then he just... Became calm all at once. "Oh well," he said cheerfully. "You win some, you lose some." He then pulled forth the parchment from earlier and tore it into halves and then quarters before dropping it and letting it crumble to dust as it hit the floor. "But..." He began threateningly, "I'll be seeing you very soon," he said while staring directly at the Emperor. "Now back where I got you from," he finished with a snap making the kidnapped judges and the table at which they sat vanish in a puff of smoke.
The flaming cage vanished and her family stumbled out, and the devil strode forward confidently, turning to slip between the guard of the Clawthorn sisters with unnatural speed to stand before Amity and Luz.
...And then laid his golden... Fiddle? On the ground at their feet.
"So there's some context here that I don't have," Amity admitted.
Mephisto rolled his eyes. "Look, some jerk wrote a song about 43 years ago and I had to go and be a smartass about it, just take the win." He then vanished with a loud bursting sound.
"Huh," Luz admitted. "Didn't even need the orignal plan."
"What orignal plan?" Amity finally asked, the threat being over finally letting her release her composure.
"Wait, did I not... Oh, I'm sorry," Lauz declared nervously. "I thought... Mephisto can twist the spirit of a deal as far as he wants, but he's strictly bound to the letter. The challenge I issued... Meant he was stuck between two deals."
"Huh?" Amity asked.
"The deal he made with your mom said that he got your family's souls in exchange for him helping you and your human," Luz explained. "You don't have any other humans hidden around here, do you?"
"...No."
"So, if he takes me to the Bad Place," Luz continued, "he can't uphold the letter of the orignal deal. So if we'd lost, he would have had to relinquish his claim on me to fulfill the first deal, and since the challenge was that he take me in your family's place letting me go means he has to let them go. Or he could have voided the first deal but then he'd have to let your family go and since I was supposed to go in their place if he lets go of his claim on them then he lets go of his claim on me. He was going home empty-handed no matter what."
It took Amity a second to process that, but when she did... "My girlfriend is a genius!"
"That I am," Luz agreed with a smile that made Amity smile.
Then Luz collapsed on top of Amity, making all of Amity's panic come crashing back with interest. "Luz, Luz!?" she begged as her heart pounded.
"Sorry," Luz mumbled tiredly, "I think I'm spent for..."
No, Luz... She pushed herself too hard and... Amity looked to Ed and Lilith for help but they seemed just as surprised and shocked as she was and... Wait, Lilith. The spell Lilith had used to help Eda weeks ago... How did it go?
"With this spell declared," she said as she pressed her head against Luz's, "let the pain be shared!"
Immediately Amity was overwhelmed with exhaustion and a mild headache. But... That meant that that was all Luz had now, so she'd be okay, right, and...
"Amity, what did you do that for?" Luz asked, sounding... Less tired than she was a moment ago, but... Still sounding very exhausted.
"Becuase, I... Huh..?"
"I'm not hurt, I... I've been tired all day and the caffeine wore off," she admitted. "I... Did I scare you? I'm sorry, but... Now you've got that and half of my... You know, from last night, and..."
Amity immediately felt stupid. But, to save face even as the blood rushed to hers, she declared, "Well, it would have been hard to get you home if you were passed out."
Then someone smacked Amity on the back of the head.
"Ow, what was that for!?" she asked as she turned to find a... Rather concerned Lilith was looking at her sternly.
"For being an idiot," her former mentor deadpanned. "You thought she pushed herself too hard today and was dying, didn't you?"
"...Yes," she admitted sheepishly.
"Half of dying is still dying, Amity," Lilith lectured. "If she had been dying of exhaustion or something, that wouldn't have saved her, it would have just killed you both. ...Would you like to be my student again? Until I find a new job I have nothing but free time and it's clear that there's still much I have to teach you. If you'll have me," she finished awkwardly.
That was a strange segue, but "...I'll think about it."
After making sure that Luz could stand on her own now... and feeling stupid since if Amity could, Luz could, Amity was... tackled by her siblings and was once more the meat of a hug sandwich.
Taking everything in after calming down from that Amity noticed that her mother had wandered to the corner of the room and was now staring out of the window. Her Dad was looking about hesitant, before finally turning to Eda.
"Edalyn," he began, "I hope it's not too much to ask of you but, Odalia and I are going to have to have a long talk and... I know Amity is seemingly welcome here whenever, but could you watch the twins tonight?"
Eda sighed. "Yeah, sure. Why not? Blight Boy, Blight Girl, go grab a change of clothes and meet Lilly outside," she began. "Lilith, I'm gonna go on ahead with Luz and Boots. When the other two get back, cut through town, and pick up some takeout. After today I do not have enough sporks to cook dinner for four teenagers, us, and King. It doesn't matter what, just remember Luz's food issues and call me if you're not sure."
And then... That happened. Eda flew Luz and Amity back to the Owl house on her staff and twenty minutes later Lilth came in, with the twins and several bags of fast food from someplace or another.
After dinner, Eda insisted that Luz and Amity go to bed early. And, as they were fading fast, there was no protest. Amity barely had enough strength to change for bed and head to Luz's room before collapsing and... This was the first time she'd slept over since Luz got her new bed. It was comfortable.
And as she fell into bed, Luz almost on reflex pulled Amity into a hug and sleepily mumbled "Wanna cuddle."
"And that," Eda declared to Luz as she made sure they were settled, "is why I got you the queen size. Night kids, if you need anything I'll be making sure the other two don't burn Hooty down."
And then sleep took them.
TLOA
Odalia Blight couldn't remember the last time Alador had been properly angry at her. It took an hour of him ranting before she could get a word in edgewise. Once he'd said his peace, however, all it took were some crocodile tears and fibs about how "sorry" she was and how she only wanted what was best for the family, and how she knew she made a mistake to get him to back off.
Admittedly, she had to agree that they'd both take a few days off of work and find something to do as a family, to 'reconnect' with the children they barely knew anymore, but the company could run itself for a few days and honestly, the ay Alador was he might up and forget by next evening.
Then she set to scrying for a time, in her private room, and now, as the clock struck one in the morning and even dear workaholic Alador was in bed, Odalia sat sipping from a tumbler of brandy in the den, contemplating the events of the previous afternoon.
"Was the cage of fire necessary?" she asked out loud, and from the shadows manifested Mephisto.
"It had to look real my dear," the devil offered with a smile. "Did it work?"
"My oracle spirits cannot find a single possible future where Mittens and her human aren't together for life," Odalia confirmed. "Whatever bond they have can only grow stronger after the human's seeming willingness to put herself at the ultimate risk to protect the Blight family... The only way today could have gone better is if they'd agreed to the contract," she finished wistfully.
"Oh come on, you knew that was a long shot," Mephisto replied. "But if it's any consolation, I think I can guarantee that your youngest daughter is now the witch that Emperor Belos respects the most out of any in the Isles after what he saw."
Odalia grunted. That was good news. "How did you know the human would challenge you to a musical battle?"
"Challenging the devil to a battle of musical skill has been a meme in the human realm for decades, my dear," he replied back. "Though honestly, I underestimated her. She's much smarter than I gave her credit for, wording the challenge in such a way that it would have trapped me had the deal for your family's souls been real." He then made a show of sniffing dramatically. "Though not that smart: She didn't specify which 'bad place' or how long I had to stay. Gotta say they love me in Vegas." He laughed. "Though still, outright feeding me the perfect guarantee that this would play out the way we wanted, so I wouldn't have to throw the contest... Almost makes up for torturing me with that damned love song."
Odalia took another sip from her glass. "What are you getting out of this, if not souls?" She asked. "I mean, you're going to far too much effort for this to be about satisfying your curiosity."
"I'm after the same thing you're after, Odalia: Power."