The Lie and What Follows

The season is winter.

The lush greenery of summer is now desolate, leaving a bare landscape. Even inside the house, the cold air of winter seeps in, causing my body to shiver. The entrance being open only worsens it, as the chilly air seems to flood in, as if finally finding an entry.

“Have a good day.”

“No, we’re going together.”

At the entrance, I was about to see Haruka off, but I join her outside instead. It’s really cold.

“Isn’t it cold? Maybe we should just stay home?”

I button up my coat and bury my face in my scarf, trying to protect myself from the cold.

“What? No, we have to go today. It won’t mean anything otherwise. Let’s hurry.”

Haruka seems unfazed by the cold. She’s wearing a knit sweater, a thick cardigan, and a short skirt with stockings. Can that really ward off the cold?

“Aren’t you cold?”

“Of course, it’s cold.”

…She’s cold but chooses fashion over warmth. The resilience of young girls.

“But I’m warm because I’m with Tooru. Look.”

Her hand is cold, but her touch warms my heart.

“Yeah. Warm.”

“Right?”

Haruka’s triumphant smile is adorable, though I’m a bit resentful of having to look up to her.

“Aren’t you taller today? How high are those heels?”

“Hmm? They’re not that high. Maybe I’ve grown?”

…She’s still growing? She must be over 180 cm by now.

“Tooru, can you see the tree? If not, I’ll carry you.”

She teases me. Usually, I’m calm, but being mocked about my height is something I can’t tolerate.

“I have two more transformations left.”

I jokingly refer to my hope for a late growth spurt.

“Okay.”

Haruka’s ability to shrug things off is too strong.

———————————-

We’re heading to the usual shopping mall, not for shopping but to see the Christmas illuminations. It’s Christmas, a day when lovers celebrate Christ’s birth, indulging in affection. Normally, I’d be cooped up at home, preparing for Santa’s gift distribution, but today I’m participating.

Because Haruka and I are now lovers.

It’s been a few months since our sibling relationship expanded to include being lovers. At Haruka’s request, we’re out in the cold to see the illuminations.

The city is decked out in Christmas decor everywhere. The letter ‘X’ seems to be all over the place.

Passing through the shopping street, we reach the mall, already adorned with colorful illuminations.

I’ve been here with Haruka before, but today feels different, more exciting.

“Excited, Tooru?”

Haruka notices my anticipation.

“Not really. It’s just illuminations.”

I try to play it cool.

“Really? I’m excited to see them with just the two of us. Don’t you feel the same?”

That’s a bit unfair.

“…I’m excited.”

“Yeah! Me too!”

Illuminations are indeed fantastic.

At the mall, a towering Christmas tree stands in the atrium, stretching up to the fourth floor. The tree, surrounded by brilliant lights, attracts lovers who indulge in affectionate moments, taking photos.

“Wow, it’s incredible.”

I’ve never been this close to the tree, and its magnificence is overwhelming. The air feels charged with a pink glow.

“Really beautiful.”

Haruka, too, seems enchanted by the scene.

We stand there for a while, soaking in the view. The city night sky, lacking stars, is compensated by the dazzling lights. I wish I could tell my past self, who scoffed at such artificial beauty, how wrong I was.

But the beauty of this scene is amplified because Haruka is with me. She dragged me out of my comfort zone, adding color to my world.

“Thanks, Haruka.”

“For what?”

“If it weren’t for you, I might never have appreciated such beauty.”

Haruka has shown me many sights I would have otherwise ignored.

“I’m glad I could come with you.”

“…Me too. I’m glad to be here with you.”

We leave the mall, reluctantly parting with the splendid view.

“Wow, it was so beautiful!”

Haruka seems very satisfied.

“Yeah.”

Holding hands throughout, Haruka’s warmth now feels comfortable. She once tried to let go because of my sweaty palms, but I’m glad she didn’t.

“We made another memory together.”

“Yeah.”

“The thought of seeing illuminations with you seemed so far away.”

We’ve had many dates since that day, and Haruka cherishes each one, as if prepared to lose them at any moment.

“I’ll always be by your side, Haruka.”

“…Yeah.”

She looks unsure, but I’ve realized that being with her is my happiness.

“Let’s make more memories together, and

look back at them together.”

“…Okay!”

We climb a nearby hill, possibly as challenging as our future. But together, we believe we can live through it.

I squeeze her hand a bit harder.

“You’re strong, Tooru.”

“Not really. It’s because you’re here.”

I’m not strong. I’m still the same crybaby.

“…Haha, I guess I’m necessary for you to survive.”

“Yeah. I’d be too lonely without you.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Just no violence, okay?”

“…”

Why doesn’t she answer?

Haruka lets go of my hand but then takes it again, intertwining our fingers.

“Our bodies may not get closer…”

“…Yeah.”

“…But our hearts will always be together.”

“Yeah. I’m with you, Haruka.”

“Even if you find someone else, I won’t let go.”

“I won’t leave.”

“I won’t fall for anyone else. So, let’s always be together.”

She pauses before continuing.

“Let’s stay together forever.”

“Okay. Count on me.”

Forever and ever.