The Lie and What Follows

“Would you go out with me?”

A few days into our third year of high school, I, Riko Adachi, received a confession from Kenta Kondo.

“Sorry, Kento. I don’t dislike you, but I can’t see myself dating you.”

“I see…”

“Uh-huh, sorry.”

Kenta is handsome and one of the people I often hang out with. He’s popular among the girls, and his achievements in basketball even attract confessions from students at other schools. However, I couldn’t consider dating him.

That’s because there’s already someone else who has caught my eye.

Someone who’s always alone, reading a book at his desk. It’s rare to even hear his voice. If I miss the brief moment in the morning when he talks with Ninomiya, I won’t hear him speak for the rest of the day. He’s not being bullied; he just quietly keeps to himself in the classroom.

It’s strange. For me, who’s been part of the same social circle since elementary school, the idea of being alone for an entire day at school is unthinkable. But he transferred in during middle school and has lived almost the opposite life for nearly six years.

I wonder when I started being attracted to him. As we became high schoolers, our social circle changed, and we became a group that stood out in our grade. That was a point of pride for me, as was my appearance.

I never neglected skincare or makeup. That was all I had to cling to.

So when I looked at boys who were attracted to me, I felt satisfaction, and that led to confidence. I even thought it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that almost everyone in the class was interested in me. I knew I was ranked number one in those stupid popularity lists the boys made.

But after I started watching him, who paid no attention to how he looked, a part of my life became devoted to observing him. Since our third year started, I’ve made sure to spend time where I could hear his and Ninomiya’s conversations and devoted all my attention to listening.

“Ah, I got rejected… Well, I felt it was a long shot anyway.”

Kenta’s usual cheerfulness is absent as he forces a smile. I know I’m not the one to console him, so silence falls between us.

“You like Endo, don’t you, Riko?”

“Eh…what?”

I’m taken aback, unable to hide my surprise at his blunt statement.

“It’s obvious. You’re always glancing at Endo, especially in the morning.”

Really? Was it that noticeable?

“So, even though I’m pathetic for getting rejected, can you grant me one last request?”

“What is it?”

“I’d like you to come watch our spring tournament.”

“That much I can do.”

I agreed, thinking it was a reasonable request. The bigger problem was that he’d noticed my feelings for Endo.

“I won’t tell anyone about you and Endo. But I think you should confess soon. We’re already in our third year.”

I know. I can’t keep going on like this forever. Ninomiya is the only girl he talks to in class, and I’ve heard rumors that she has a boyfriend outside of school. So, his romantic life is probably fine. But Endo is smart, while I’m not. He’ll probably go to a good college. Could I ever follow him there? At this point, it seems impossible. I have to do something.

Kenta’s words make me feel rushed.

The opportunity comes soon enough. During a game with Shiori and Mai, we decided that the loser would have to make a fake confession. Making an earnest confession would be difficult, but if it’s a fake one, I’d still have a chance even if Endo rejects me. I purposely lost the game, and Shiori probably noticed. No matter, I’ll confess to Endo.

I called him to the back of the gym and heard him speak to me for the first time. He was incredibly nervous, probably never expecting to be confessed to by me. Honestly, he was adorable. I know I’m not good at speaking. Trying to connect his words, Endo was so cute that I naturally encouraged him. Even though I was waiting for a response to my confession, encouraging him like that made no sense. However, he accepted my confession.

After we started dating, I didn’t want to disrupt his life, so I tried to keep things as they were. However, in my happiness, I made the worst choice by setting up a date on the Saturday of the week we started dating. That was the day I was supposed to go watch Kenta’s game. I’d completely forgotten about it. On the day of the date, I realized my double booking when Shiori messaged me. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to bring Endo to Kenta’s game too. If we were found out, we could just make it official; if not, we’d continue to be a secret couple.

I arrived at the meeting place, pumped up and ready. I replied to messages from Shiori and Kenta. The cheer squad was already at the gym, and they wanted me to hurry up. I was definitely in the wrong here, so, a bit annoyed, I texted them that I’d be there by early afternoon. Right at that moment, Endo spoke to me. I was prepared to call the police if it was a pick-up attempt, but seeing his face warmed my heart. We ate together. I couldn’t finish my pancakes and gave them to Endo, but he probably thought I was just offloading my leftovers on him. While he was eating, I received a message from Mai updating me on the game’s progress. I wished she’d leave me alone, but today’s mess was entirely my fault, so I held my tongue. I was overjoyed when Endo told me he liked my voice. I’m used to being courted by boys and have even been told I have a good voice. However, when it came to that compliment from Endo, it was the highest praise I could receive. I was so overwhelmed that I had to run to the bathroom.

Endo and Ninomiya talking felt trivial to me. I mean, she already has a boyfriend, right? And Endo’s girlfriend is me.

We took the train to the game venue, and for some reason, Endo started talking like he was ready for physical exercise. My boyfriend is a bit spacey. He’s really smart, though.

Kenta and his team lost, which was truly unfortunate. But I was moved by the intensity of the game. When Endo asked me if I was going to go see Kenta, I thought I’d already done what I was asked to. From now on, I’m all about Endo. I don’t have time to spare for Kenta.

That’s when I should have paid closer attention to Endo. Instead of heading to the restroom near the gym’s entrance, he went in the direction of the spectator seats. I felt that Endo seemed a bit down and decided to postpone our public debut, choosing to wait for him at the entrance. The person who came wasn’t Endo; it was Shiori.

Knowing that I liked Endo, she inexplicably kept insisting that I join the basketball team’s after-party. She even laughed and said my relationship with Endo was just a fake confession, making me lose my temper. I couldn’t even deny it.

And then, the worst moment arrived. Endo came back with an even darker expression and told me to go to the basketball team. Like I could do that. If Endo is going home, so am I. Obviously. After some back and forth, Endo left me completely bewildered with his final words.

“It was a fake confession, wasn’t it?”

Why, why would Endo say that? My mind felt like it was going to explode. I couldn’t even chase after Endo as he ran away, and I kept sending him apologetic messages.

On Sunday morning, having not slept a wink, I was still staring at my smartphone screen in my closed-off room. I’ve sent numerous messages and calls. There’s been no reply from Endo. Not knowing what time it was, I tried calling him yet again. I’d almost given up hope, but Endo picked up right away.

“…Endo?”

I can’t hear his voice. I want to hear it again. Even if he berates me, I just want to hear his voice.

In response to my pleading, I heard Endo’s voice on the other end of the call.

“I am…”

At that moment, a woman’s voice, probably Endo’s sister who is also the student council vice-president, began shouting at me. I had no choice but to endure it. I could feel that she was genuinely concerned about Endo. Before I could even get a chance to apologize, the call was cut off. I realized I was crying. How many times have I cried since I got home?

“Endo… I want to see you.”