The Lie and What Follows

Sunday

The day before the school trip. The current time is 11:16 PM. In 44 minutes, it will be the day of the trip. Having finished cleaning, laundry, and cooking, I lay on my bed, alone, meditating.

The essence of meditation, as it seems, is to be in a state where your consciousness naturally focuses on your present self, without thinking about stressors like work or personal anxieties.

I see. That’s impossible. My mind is, of course, focused on the upcoming school trip. The anxiety of moving around with the stylish and handsome group keeps surfacing and doesn’t fade away. I’m probably going to end up in the back row of the bus, the preferred spot for the extroverted. As an introvert, I’ll be stuck handling the microphone passed around. And I can already see myself being used as a practice target by the frivolous guy who’ll probably buy a wooden sword and get carried away. The worst part is bedtime. Our room will combine groups 1 and 6, meaning I’ll be completely surrounded by stylish guys. Ninomiya-san, my lifeline, won’t be there. Why are there so many attributes, but none for a male cross-dresser?

On the third day, I have plans to go around with Ninomiya-san, but that means I have to pay her for her consultation services. Depending on the amount, my allowance might disappear for a while. Will Haru forgive me…?

Losing the point of meditation, I get up from my bed and head to the living room. I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. If I’m going to stay up, I might as well do it thoroughly. I start boiling water for coffee. I can think about tomorrow when it comes. Good luck to me, nine hours from now.

As I pour the hot water into the drip and watch the coffee fall, I feel like a café worker or a bar master. My heart starts to feel a bit lighter.

Once a cup’s worth of coffee is ready, I pour it into a mug. Here’s to tomorrow, I think, sipping the coffee. Not bad. It’s like 12470 yen!

While I was ready to enjoy my elegant night, reality was harsher.

“Can’t sleep?”

It’s Haru, probably awakened by the noise.

“Yeah, a bit.”

Haru, coming out from her room, sits on the living room sofa, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Did you make some for me?”

“Of course.” I had a feeling and made two cups. Maybe I have some ESP potential too.

“Tomorrow’s the school trip, huh?” Haru mutters, holding the mug with both hands. There’s a hint of loneliness in her voice.

Right. I can’t leave Haru behind. I’ll be away for about four days. I shudder at the thought of our house turning into a garbage dump upon my return. To maintain good neighborly relations, maybe choosing not to go on the school trip is reasonable.

“No way, right?” How does she know?

“Well, it’s four days, right? What will you do for food, Haru?” I can’t let her eat cup noodles for every meal.

“I’ll go to Rin-san’s house.” Makes sense. Rin Hayashi, the student council president and our benefactor, is living alone, as per my sister’s information. She’s always been a reliable person to entrust Haru to.

“…Uh.”

“No crying. It’s gross.” Harsh, but true.

I sit next to Haru on the sofa, back-to-back. Slowly, she leans her weight against me.

“If you really don’t want to go, you don’t have to.”

I can’t see her face as she whispers, but I can tell she’s worried about me. She’s always scolding me for trying to skip school events, but she’s probably more concerned about my interactions with Adachi-san. I don’t think she’ll come all the way to Kyoto, but her concern is both touching and troubling.

Maybe I should go, not to cause her any trouble. The guys in the stylish group have been kind to me, even Kondo-kun and the frivolous guy. Tamura-kun looks intimidating but has a bit of a messianic streak. Even with someone like me, they’d be understanding. Kiryu-san’s sharp tongue can be endured if I don’t activate her gourmet cells. She’s too busy with her own love comedy to bother with me. Imamura-san will naturally create a pink atmosphere if she’s with Tamura-kun. I just have to endure being single. Adachi-san is…

Okay. I can manage.

I can do this. My school trip. With Ninomiya-san’s support, I’ll be fine.

“Tooru?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“What?”

“I mean,

I will do my best.”
I wish I could read people’s minds to gauge the timing for such jokes.

“Really. You always do this…” Haru sounds exasperated but also very kind.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” I don’t want to worry her.

Haru always prioritizes me. I can’t keep relying on her kindness without making an effort to move forward.

“…Tooru.”

So, even someone like me, who’s always ready to run away, should try to move forward.

“Okay. But call me immediately if anything happens.” She seems to have accepted it.

“Thanks. Really.”

“Shall we go to bed? Need me to stay with you?”

“No need.”

And she stayed anyway.