The Lesbian Demon Lord Conquers the World!

Metokai stood with her back to the wall, looking expectantly at Nyze. The lamia slithered forwards, breathing heavily, and her palm impacted the wall directly above Metokai’s shoulder.

“Metokai…” Nyze began, her face flushed bright red.

“Tut tut, serpent, you’ve got it all wrong,” Metokai said with a cocksure smirk. “The one in your position is supposed to be dominant. I, on the other hand, am supposed to be submissive, pressed against the wall as I am.”

“I-I’m still new to this, okay?” Nyze mumbled. “I’ve never… I’ve…”

“Hush, serpent,” Metokai said, placing her finger on Nyze’s lips. “There’s no need for words between us. Tell me how you feel with your body instead.”

Nyze bent down, her hungry lips meeting Metokai’s, and the two entangled their tongues together in furious passion.

******

“So that’s how I think it would go between them. Am I close to the mark?” Valex asked, chomping down on a warm croissant.

Rixu took a long, deliberate sip of his orange juice before setting his cup down on the table and steepling his fingers. “Valex, I say this with the utmost respect, but… you’ve been reading too many romance novels.”

Valex, after wiping croissant crumbs from her mouth onto her sleeve, clutched her hands to her chest in mock horror. “How DARE you! I have plenty of romantic experience myself! I’m happily married, after all!”

Rixu’s eyes narrowed. “But you do read romance novels, right?”

“Maybe,” Valex admitted, her eyes darting around the room. “Sometimes. They’re really heartwarming and fun, okay?!”

“Oh, I’m not judging,” Rixu said calmly. “Just don’t let fantasy skew your perception of reality. For starters, are we even sure that Nyze and Metokai are…”

“Pining for each other? Secretly in love? Embodying the very essence of the rivals-to-lovers trope?” Valex gushed, leaning forward eagerly.

Rixu managed to avoid rolling his eyes, but he did pop a vein on his forehead. “Yes, that. How can you be certain they’re… interested in each other?”

Valex sat back in her chair, tilting it onto its two rear legs. “C’mon now. Nyze coils around Metokai. You’ve seen how they sleep together.”

“Okay, fair,” Rixu admitted. “Still, isn’t Nyze already in a relationship with the Demon Lord?”

“That’s the thing,” Valex said eagerly, slamming her chair back down on all fours and leaning forwards once more. “I think Metokai is in love with the Demon Lord as well. They have some kind of… triple-couple thing going on.”

“The term is ‘throuple,’ Valex. Or ‘polycule.’” Rixu said, nursing another sip of orange juice.

“Poly-whatsis?”

“PolyCULE,” Rixu reiterated. “When someone is in a romantic relationship with multiple partners, it’s called polyamory. A polycule is a set of three or more people who are all romantically involved with each other.”

Valex quirked an eyebrow, her ears flicking back and forth. “How do you know all these terms, Rixu?”

Rixu shrugged. “I have a lot of gay friends. I pick up on things.”

Valex was about to pry further when Metokai trotted out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. “Good morning. What are you talking about?”

Valex tried to act calm and collected. “Oh, nothing important. Are you two done bathing?” She grabbed her own glass and took a glug of orange juice.

Metokai nodded. “Yes, Nyze is still toweling off. I swear, that serpent would be useless without me. She’s so stiff I had to wash her back for her, you know? She should really work on her flexibility.”

Valex sputtered, spraying orange juice across the table and straight into Rixu’s face. Rixu stared at her furiously, grabbing a napkin to wipe himself off, but Valex was far too focused on Metokai to notice.

“F-F-Flexibility?” she stammered, her cheeks tinging bright red.

“Yeah, you know. Flexibility in combat, that sort of thing,” Metokai responded, oblivious to Valex’s distraught state. “I’m very flexible myself. See?” She reached her hands around behind her back and scratched along her spine, accidentally causing her towel to slip a bit.

Valex frantically averted her eyes from Metokai’s inadvertent nip-slip, her blush now coloring her entire face cherry red. Rixu, still wiping his face, glared straight at Metokai. “For gods’ sake, Metokai, go put on some clothes.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Metokai said, waving dismissively as she trotted back into the bathroom. There was a moment of silence, during which Rixu’s laser-eyes bored holes directly into Valex’s skull. “Valex…” he began.

She looked at Rixu’s strained expression and smiled sweetly. “What?”

******

With full bellies, freshly applied glamours and a spring in their step, the four set out for another long day of searching. After only a few blocks of walking, however, Metokai signaled everyone to stop. They crowded around her, gazes questioning.

“Serpent,” Metokai said in a half-whisper, her voice strained.

“I sense it too,” Nyze replied apprehensively.

“Sense what?” Valex asked.

““We’re being followed,”” Nyze and Metokai replied in unison.

Rixu immediately lowered himself into a combat stance, and Valex began to look around frantically. Metokai shot them both withering glares.

“Don’t,” she hissed. “Act normal.”

Valex clasped her hands together and locked her eyes on Metokai. “Where…”

“Fifty feet north, on top of the roof of that general store. Someone up there is using illusion magic to make themselves invisible,” Metokai said tersely.

“They’ve been tailing us since we left the inn, always maintaining the same distance,” Nyze added.

Despite his inherent laziness Rixu did have some small amount of pride as a professional soldier, and was internally miffed he hadn’t noticed their pursuer. “How did you two even detect them, if they’re invisible?”

“Illusion magic leaks a small amount of violet mana continuously while the spell is being maintained,” Nyze explained.

“But that leakage is infinitesimal!” Valex protested, also a bit wounded in her pride. “To be capable of sensing it fifty feet away, in crowded conditions…”

“It’s almost impossible,” Rixu finished her thought.

There was a pause as Metokai and Nyze looked at each other and shrugged.

“Right,” Valex said as her left eye twitched. “I forgot you two are insanely good at magic. So what do we do?”

Metokai stroked her chin. “They’ve likely realized we are aware of their presence. Let’s find an isolated alleyway and call them out. After that, we play it by ear.”

“What if it’s a trap, though?” Valex said nervously, wringing her hands together.

“It depends on how the situation develops. We either make a quick escape undetected, fight our way out, or should the situation take a turn for the worst, I level the city with a six-line spell.”

“I really don’t think this is the time for jokes,” Rixu said coldly.

Nyze folded her arms over her chest. “She’s not joking.”

Valex’s jaw hung slack. “She’s NOT?”

“Only as a last resort, Rixu,” Metokai said, doing a terrible job of reassuring him. “It won’t come to that. Probably.”

Before Rixu could belt out an exasperated rant about the forthright and martial nature of demons, Metokai resumed walking, heading for a nondescript alleyway at the end of the block with Nyze not far behind. Valex and Rixu, still shaken, followed along reluctantly.

******

Nilah was studying her quarry intently, trying to learn everything she could about them from careful observation. She’d spent all of the previous night searching the various inns in town and interrogating their innkeeps about any potential group of guests including a magically powerful yet atypically short woman. Her body had complained, of course, about her pulling an all-nighter after a hard day’s work, but she silenced it with a burst of warrior magic to strengthen her bones and muscles. She knew she’d pay for that later, but in the moment she was far too focused on the task at hand to care.

Her targets consisted of four people, who seemed to be travelling together. There was a tall brown-haired man and slightly shorter blonde woman who both seemed normal enough, but Nilah could tell otherwise by their movements. Both stood with perfect posture, straight spines, and instinctually pointed their feet forwards when they walked; these were telltale signs of Saimonican military training. This confused Nilah a bit with regards to the woman, as the Army didn’t typically allow women to serve, but she brushed that thought aside for the moment.

The short girl, barely four-and-a-half foot tall, also stood straight up, but her gait was a bit more… frantic? Energetic? Like she was taking too many steps at a time, Nilah posited. She held her shoulders high, an indicator of self-confidence, and even twenty feet away Nilah could sense her overwhelmingly powerful mana. Something about that mana, though… the flavor was slightly off, slightly wrong, ever so subtly demonic. The tiny girl was a demon in disguise.

That was not the biggest shock Nilah received, however. Upon studying the fourth person, a woman of average height with brown hair and eyes, Nilah realized something about her gait. She’d never forget that footwork as long as she lived.

“Nyze…?” Nilah muttered to herself in half-awe.

Why was her old star pupil in Lyzikanth? Last Nilah heard, the young woman was accompanying the Hero on his adventures. Now she was back, disguised via glamour and in the company of demons? What exactly had happened? Had Nyze betrayed Saimonica to the Demon Realm, or was something more complicated going on?

Either way, Nilah had a burning need to find the answer. Sheathed in her invisibility spell and dashing along the rooftops, she followed the party as they made their way down the street.

The four stopped after a few blocks and huddled together for a whispered conversation. Nilah realized her pursuit had been detected and berated herself for her carelessness. She’d fought demons before, so she should have known they were unequaled at detecting mana and had picked up on her presence. Should she confront them now, or…

Before she could make a decision, the four resumed walking and entered an alleyway, one that twisted and turned, isolating itself from the crowded main street. Nilah understood exactly what that meant.

They were calling her out. Challenging her.

She reached into hammerspace and pulled out twin daggers, then darted after them.

The tiny woman was the first to speak, issuing a bold challenge at the top of her surprisingly powerful lungs.

“YOU CAN COME ON OUT NOW, STALKER!”

Nilah chuckled, then dove down off the rooftop and alighted on the ground a dozen feet in front of the small woman. As the puff of dust thrown up by her impact dissipated, she released her invisibility spell and lowered herself into a combat stance, knives flashing.

The other four reacted with the speed expected of professional soldiers. The tiny woman produced a halberd from hammerspace, pointing its blade directly at Nilah. The unindentified man drew a broadsword, standard issue Saimonican army version, and the woman beside him drew two serrated knives, holding them backhand in the style of a Special Tactics ninja. Nyze produced a longsword, which she held one-handed in her usual style.

“What an interesting bunch you are,” Nilah said, trying to gain an early advantage in the conversation. She pointed at the man, then the blonde woman. “You’re Saimonican military, and you are clearly from Special Tactics. I didn’t think Special Tactics admitted women, though.”

“It’s complicated,” the blonde woman said, her gaze faltering for a moment. “Who the hell are you?”

Nilah smirked. “Don't bullshit me. You know who I am already.”

The tiny woman fixed her intense blue eyes on Nilah. “As you say. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nilah the Adventurer.”

Nilah’s smirk widened into a shit-eating grin. “Well done, tiny woman. I’m guessing Nyze told you all about me?”

There was a long silence, the kind that might have called for a tumbleweed to roll past were the climes drier. Then the tiny woman spoke again.

“And what makes you assume we know someone named ‘Nyze’”?

Nilah groaned. “Because she’s standing three feet to the back and left of you, for fuck’s sake. Glamour or not, I’d never forget Nyze’s sloppy footwork.”

Metokai snorted. “Fair enough. Her footwork is indeed exceptionally sloppy, though perhaps not for the reasons you think.”

“HEY!” Nyze exclaimed, puffing up her cheeks.

“Long time no see, Nyze,” Nilah said, failing to keep the tiniest amount of warmth from her voice. “I didn’t expect our reunion to go quite like this.”

Nyze sighed. “Me neither, Nilah. Still, even under the circumstances, it’s good to see you again.”

“I wish I could say the same,” Nilah said, grimacing. “Care to explain why you’re in disguise and hanging around with a fucking demon, of all people?”

There was another tumbleweed-worthy pause, before Nyze drew in a deep breath. “How…?”

“Your short friend is leaking mana like a broken faucet,” Nilah explained. “Powerful mages always do. Her mana is tinged demonic. I can taste it.”

“Well played,” the tiny woman muttered. “I see there’s no point in deceiving you, Nilah. We’d be happy to answer your questions, provided we can do so in a more private setting.”

“Why the hell would I agree to that?” Nilah asked, tightening the grip on her daggers. “I’d much prefer we talk here, where the town guard is within yelling range. Better insurance for me, you understand.”

There was a blast of wind, and before Nilah’s eyes even registered the fact that the tiny woman had vanished from before her, she felt the tip of a halberd blade pressed against the back of her neck.

“Try to scream if you like,” hissed the tiny woman from behind, “but my reaction time is faster than your nervous system. Care to take that bet?”

“Shit,” Nilah muttered, her brain rushing to take stock of a situation which had very much escaped her control. 

Despite her fearsome reputation, a large part of Nilah’s survival into her sixth decade came from playing it safe and knowing when she was beaten. Without hesitation, she opened her palms and allowed her daggers to clatter to the ground, then raised her hands above her head. “Alright, you little bitch, you got me.”

“Good,” the woman said, and Nilah felt the blade withdraw from her neck. She swiveled around to see the tiny woman standing there casually, studying her with those brilliantly blue eyes.

“My office?” Nilah suggested.

“Acceptable,” she replied, and stowed her weapon.

******

Awkwardness ensued.

First there was the awkward walk to the Crucible’s campus, with nobody daring to speak a word lest they break the fragile truce. Then they awkwardly shuffled into Nilah’s office, located on the campus’ backlot between a garden shed and an equipment warehouse. Once safely inside, everyone awkwardly watched the blonde woman as she meticulously checked the room for magical pitfalls or scrying spells. Then, once everyone was comfortably seated and awkwardly staring at Nilah behind her paperwork-avalanched desk, a silence so pervasive descended you could have heard a fairy sneeze.

Nilah summoned up her best ice-breaking routine. “So…”

“So…” replied the tiny woman.

“This is going to be real fuckin’ difficult unless I know your names.”

“Agreed. I am Metokai.”

Nilah looked at her askance. “Just Metokai?”

“Just Metokai,” she replied with finality, before gesturing over to the blonde woman.

“Uh, I’m Valex. Nice to meet you!” said the blonde woman with incongruent enthusiasm.

“And I’m Rixu,” said the brown-haired man.

Nilah studied them all, putting faces to names. “Alright. Nyze, Metokai, Valex and Rixu. Got it. Now, Metokai, should we drop all pretenses? I’d like to see your true form.”

Nyze, Metokai and Valex exchanged a meaningful look, and the barest of nods. Violet energy swirled around them, dispelling their glamours… and what Nilah saw next shook her to her core.

Nyze still looked like herself, her old human self, from her waist on up. However, her legs were gone altogether, replaced by a crimson-scaled snake tail that wound nearly ten feet in length. That, along with her long pointed ears, indicated she had become…

“Nyze?!” Nilah exclaimed, her voice betraying vulnerability and shock. “You’re… you’ve transformed into… a fucking demon?!” Her eyes narrowed, filling with fury, as she fixed them on the tiny now-baphomet, who glared right back. “Did she do this to you?!”

“Calm down, Nilah,” Nyze said, slithering forwards between Nilah and Metokai. “Nobody did this to me. I chose it for myself, thank you very much.”

“You… chose… why…” Nilah stammered. “You… you betrayed humanity?! I can’t… my own student… I’m not…”

“Well, this is going badly,” Rixu remarked dryly as Nilah drew her daggers once more.

“NILAH!” Nyze half-yelled at the red-faced Adventurer. “CALM DOWN!”

“I don’t think yelling at her is going to help…” Valex said quietly, her fox ears pressed flat against her head.

Just as it was looking like the situation would come to blows, the door to Nilah’s office slammed open. A teenage girl with orange hair, bright green eyes and a dusting of freckles across her nose, stood there with a furious expression on her face.

“MOM!” said Xennia, pointing a shaking finger at Nilah. “I FINALLY TRACKED YOU DOWN!”

******

Everyone turned to stare at the interloper, eyes wide. The only one who seemed unperturbed was Nyze.

“Hello there, Xennia,” she said fondly.

“Hello Nyze!” responded Xennia, with a friendly wave. “I’ll ask why you’re a snake lady later. I have something more important to deal with first.” She stormed forwards, her face once again a mask of rage, and stopped inches in front of Nilah.

“Xen…” Nilah began.

“Don’t you DARE ‘Xen’ me, Mom!” scolded Xennia, placing both her hands on her hips and tapping her foot rapidly against the wooden floor. “You didn’t come home AT ALL last night! What’s more, you didn’t even send a psychic message explaining the situation! We were SO worried!”

“Xen…nia, there are… demons are…” Nilah said futilely, gesturing to Nyze and friends.

“I don’t care if the gods-damned Arkaelian Empire is attacking with a fleet of lava-spewing airships!” Xennia spat. “We’ve TALKED about this! You are to be home, on time, for dinner EVERY NIGHT!”

“B-But this was an emergency…” Nilah offered weekly, her proverbial tail drooping in between her legs.

“Three demons? An emergency? C’mon now. You’re ALWAYS overblowing things,” Xennia said with the kind of dramatic eye-roll only a teenager could muster. “Were you seriously planning on confronting our old family friend Nyze in some sort of horrific battle to the death? You should know better than that. You need proper food and lots of rest, Mom, or your aches are just gonna get worse!”

Metokai leaned over to Nyze and lowered her voice to a polite, but still audible, whisper. “Xennia?”

“Nilah’s adopted daughter. From the story, remember?” Nyze whispered back.

“Oh, right,” Metokai replied, smiling as she watched the teenager angrily lecture her crestfallen mother. “I like her.”

Nyze replied with a giggle. “She’s a force of personality, that’s for sure. Anyway, I should go save Nilah from her comeuppance, even if she deserves it.” She slithered forwards, resting her hand on Xennia’s shoulder. The teen turned her head, her scowl dissolving into a smile.

“Yes, Nyze?” Xennia asked sweetly.

“Let’s give her a break, okay?” Nyze said, pointing to the dejected Nilah. “You made your point, and she looks sufficiently chastised.”

“FIIIIIIIINE,” Xennia said with another eye roll. “I take it she didn’t offer you anything to drink?”

“Uh…”

Xennia snorted. “Didn’t think so. Hey, Mom, you have guests in your office and you didn’t even make them drinks?”

“They’re demons, Xen!” Nilah protested weakly.

“Yes, and? Demons don’t drink coffee?” Xennia shot back, before turning to Nyze. “I assume you still take it black?”

Nyze nodded, grinning.

“And the rest of you?”

Metokai spoke up first. “Coffee, please, with cream and sugar.”

“Just cream in mine,” Rixu added.

“Do you have any lemonade?” Valex asked excitedly, her tail wagging.

Xennia turned expectantly towards Nilah, folding her arms and tapping one finger on her bicep. “Well, Mom? Do we?”

Giving up completely, Nilah slouched towards the door. “I’ll go check.”

******

With refreshments (including lemonade) distributed, and Xennia the precocious teenage fireball presiding, the second attempt at breaking the ice went much smoother.

“Okay, so let’s get the laser yak in the room out of the way first,” Xennia said with a clap of her hands. “Nyze, why are you a snake lady?”

“Because I fell in love with the Demon Lord, had sex with her and got corrupted,” Nyze replied instantly.

There was a pregnant pause, and many raised eyebrows. “Ri-iiiiiight,” Xennia said, taking a sip of her mug of green tea. “Good pitch, but you’re gonna have to elaborate.”

Nyze launched into her fable, detailing her ill-fated journey into the Demon Realm, the Hero’s ignoble defeat, and her whirlwind romance with Psytalla.

“So you sold out humanity for… your girlfriend?” Nilah said disbelievingly.

“Yes and no, Nilah,” Nyze replied. “I admit it was a purely selfish decision on my part, but it had a long buildup. You have no idea how miserable I was, pretending to love that churl of a Hero, pretending to be something I wasn’t. I was living a lie because I was afraid of the consequences if I was discovered.”

Nilah sat back in her chair, nursing a slow sip of mead. “Discovered?”

“I’m gay, Nilah, in case that wasn’t obvious,” Nyze said firmly. “I hid it, denied it, almost convinced myself I wasn’t, because of how scared I was. You know firsthand how terrifying it is to live in fear of the Church discovering you.”

“That I do,” Nilah admitted. “Even so, joining the demons seems… drastic.”

“The demons were willing to accept me for who I am, Nilah. I don’t have to hide or pretend in the Demon Realm. I can be openly gay, openly in lesbians with the Demon Lord, and they don’t bat an eye. Demons don’t discriminate on the basis of sex, sexuality or any other the other foolish bigotries the Church enforces.”

“Huge, if true,” Nilah said suspiciously. “Still, is that really worth betraying humanity for?”

“Psh, that’s nothing,” Valex said, flicking her ears. “I sold out humanity for my gender.”

“Your… what?” Nilah asked incredulously.

“My gender,” Valex repeated. “I wasn’t born a woman, although I’ve wanted to be one for as long as I can remember. It was Rixu and the demons who told me I was allowed to and, y’know, gave me this body.”

“Huh,” Nilah said, taking another sip of mead. “And what about you, Rixu?”

Rixu chuckled. “Nothing so noble in my case. I sold out humanity for money.”

Nilah coughed as the mead went down the wrong pipe, recovering after a solid thirty seconds of laborious choking and a dozen vigorous back-pats from Xennia. “For MONEY?!” she sputtered at last.

“Yup! The demons pay great!” Rixu replied, grinning. “I’m rolling in dough!”

Valex whacked him upside the head. “Oi, quit being silly, Rixu. If you must know, Nilah, Rixu joined the demons alongside me. He’s a very good friend, and has been supporting me wholeheartedly throughout my gender adventures. He defected to the demons for my sake, and for the sake of saving his other gay friends.”

Nilah shook her head in disbelief. “You sure are a strange bunch. What about you, Metokai? Did you sell out humanity for gummy bears or something?”

“I didn’t sell out anyone,” Metokai replied gruffly. “I was born a demon.”

“Okay,” Nilah said, exasperated. “So we have one born demon, two ex-humans and one actual human who are all working together to infiltrate Saimonica for… what purposes, exactly?”

All four of them replied in unison. ““““Shenanigans!””””

Xennia sputtered out a laugh, whereas Nilah’s mouth twisted into a frown. “What do you mean, shenanigans?”

“Exactly that,” Nyze responded, her forked tongue flicking out. “Shenanigans.”

“Evil demon shenanigans,” Valex clarified, baring her fangs in a wide grin.

“Shenanigans most nefarious and vile,” Rixu piled on.

Nilah moaned in frustration. “So, in other words, you’re not going to tell me.”

“Of course not,” Metokai said. “We are travelling undercover, after all.”

“Un-fucking-believable.” Nilah grunted, planting her face on her desk.

“Is it really a problem?” Xennia asked. She stood up from her chair and approached Nyze and company, bringing her nose within a few inches of the lamia and sniffing loudly several times. “They don’t smell evil! And besides, this is Nyze we’re talking about. Whatever she’s up to, we know it’s nothing bad or harmful.”

“Ta-dah!” Nyze said triumphantly. “Did you hear that, Metokai? We passed the Xennia smell test!”

“Good thing we bathed this morning,” Metokai replied wryly, earning a giggle from Xennia.

Nilah lifted her head. “Hardy fucking har. Regardless of what Xennia’s admittedly quite insightful nose might say, I need to be absolutely sure of your intentions. If there’s any threat to this city, I must know.” She rose to her feet, taking her daggers in hand once more, and pointed them directly at Nyze, who simply blinked.

“Nyze!” Nilah declared. “I must discern your true nature. I challenge you to a duel!”

Both of them stared at each other for a few tense moments, before being startled by a loud clap from their right. Metokai had stood up from her chair as well and slapped her paws together enthusiastically.

“That sounds like an excellent idea!”