The Legend of William Oh

Why do you keep folding it over and over?

William Oh, 12 years old

Even after the dough is mixed there's still little pockets of resistance in there. Folding it over…and…over ensures that any little clumps get broken up and that your enemies…don't…escape.

Muse, 16 years old

Wait, what?

Will's eyes blinked open.

That was a weird dream, Will thought, groaning as he sat up and rubbed the sand out of his eyes. Sometimes dreams were almost plausible and subtly lingered as memories that he was sure were real until he shone the light of critical thinking on them.

This might've become one if it hadn't surprised him awake.

Anna, the one responsible for the dream, was already long-gone, bustling around the caravan, keeping the whole thing running.

Phantom Eye

128 Charges Remaining.

Thank the gods.

There was something to be thankful for: the Uru Drake Eye passive specifically mentioned the 'naked' eye. It seemed to mean Will's natural, unaided vision.

Phantom eye was not natural. And thank the gods it didn't get the same treatment as Will's natural eyes. In the future maybe he would feel the other way, but for right now, this was a very good thing.

Although, I wonder if looking through a spyglass would bypass my 'naked' eye, and allow me to see. Lenses?

Something to think on.

No Climbers actually wore lenses, given how few of them had vision problems, and how cheap it was to pay the church of Andover to correct vision.

You might see some on a poor old scribe, but certainly not in The Tower.

I might be able to get a pair made in Akul…wait a second.

Will pinched the air in front of his eye and made a lens.

…Didn't do anything.

Well, glad I saved myself the time.

Will was still going to try a spyglass at some point.

But for now: Getting dressed for his deathmatch.

Getting dressed with the help of his Phantom Snakes had long since become old hat, and Will shrugged himself into his clothes, perching his Phantom Eye on the bridge of his nose.

It was a little awkward, and it only lasted just over three minutes, so Will used it sparingly.

The sun told him he had about two hours until noon, or close to it.

Will took the time to enjoy a nice hot breakfast, lay in the sun and enjoy the bustling sounds of the seed of his Stronghold.

Once he was done taking a moment to appreciate being alive, Will picked himself up with his Phantom Snakes, and carried himself to the meeting place, a few hundred yards in front of Kincaid's castle, marked by the beam of miasmatic light jutting straight up into the sky, disappearing into the sun directly overhead.

Phantom Eye

128 Charges remaining

Nowadays it only took just over an hour to get a Charge back for Will, which was handy for times like this when he needed…

Will paused, frowning.

Below him were all the people he invited to watch the show, but that wasn't the odd part.

The odd part was that Kincaid's castle looked like it had undergone a siege.

There were chunks missing out of it, deep cuts in the walls, scorch marks, and every inch of the wall, whole or damaged, had fae standing atop it, fully armed and armored, staring out at them with steely determination.

"…Did you get Kearney and Eolande?" Will asked, glancing at Bakton as he arrived.

"Oh, yeah. I got them. Had to stab Kearney a bit when they called my bluff, but luckily I can stab a man in the chest and miss every vital organ." Bakton said, crossing his arms. "I also rampaged a bit, so they might be…a little on-guard. Kincaid called in some favors of his own and assembled an army overnight."

"I can tell." Will mused, surveying the partially destroyed castle swarming with Fae. That didn't really present a problem. In fact, having this much population density all assembled above-ground would be helpful. "By the way, I gave the one who made the Relic Seed half your favors." Will said.

"Seems fair," Bakton said, nodding.

"…How many of those Fae do you think have bounties on them?" Will asked.

"…a decent amount of them, actually. One in a hundred, or so. Immortality gives the worst of 'em plenty of time to commit heinous crimes and build up notoriety."

Will did a quick headcount and some estimation.

Maybe some…30 bounties, huh? That'll do.

Will didn't just want to clear an unexpected route into the 10th Floor, he also wanted to be overleveled when he did it. Bounties existed outside the Floor XP cap.

"You know, my second favor was going to ask you to put some bounties on these guys, but that'll be plenty."

Bakton glanced over at Will, his eyes widening. "You're gonna kill them all at once somehow." He accused.

Will winked his blind right eye before turning to his audience.

Mordaine was sitting in a palanquin hauled by creepy emaciated ebony-colored monsters with elongated muzzles and shiny, wet skin. He was accompanied by his children, who each had their own seats. His daughter bore a black-lace parasol, and was staring at Will hungrily.

Onacona stood with her arms crossed, scowling. She was fully-armed with her owl-feather cloak and bow, with what looked like a tiny copy of her standing in a similar stance, giving them a studied war-face undercut by her chubby cheeks.

"Mordaine, Onacona, good to see you. In a moment, I'll begin the process of killing Kincaid. Is there anything you'd like to discuss before I begin?" Will asked.

"I'm not going to give you any hints on how to kill him if that's what you're asking," Mordaine said, tapping his temple. "Those secrets are buried deep and locked away."

Will blinked.

"…So he's buried deep underground in a bunker?"

Mordaine froze for a breath.

"That's…a guess that you could make."

I really don't need this castle, then, do I? Will thought.

"Onacona?" Will asked, turning to the huntress.

"I hate being outside my land. My interest in this farce is fleeting, and if this isn't resolved quickly, I will slaughter everyone here.

"With arrows!" her tiny daughter shouted, pumping a tiny fist.

"Yes, daughter. With arrows."

"Your daughter is adorable," Travis said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"Of course she is, I made her myself." Onacona said, lifting her nose.

Will rolled his eyes.

"Alright, well, if no one else has anything to say, I guess I'll get started," Will said, clapping his hands before rubbing them together briskly.

Like a tradesman about to get to work.

Will didn't know exactly what they were expecting from him. Maybe they thought he'd march stoically into the waiting arms of the thousands of fae manning the castle's walls, and acrobatically battle them one at a time.

That seemed like a lot of work.

He was pretty sure they didn't expect him to shoot straight up into the sky, disappearing into the noon-day sun, a cone of compressed air shattering around him.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Will used the beam of miasmatic light that continued straight up into the sky as a landmark to guide him, and once the air started getting thin a few miles up, he stopped right beside the beam, and began solidifying the air beneath him into a lens.

Four of his Phantom Snakes went out to the corners of his controlled area and expanded it further, making the entire lens nearly a mile wide from end to end.

The trick here was to get several miles up in the air and use a lens with a very gentle angle. That used less material for more area, and Will had noticed that greater angles caused bits of light to bounce away and get lost.

The land around Kincaid's castle darkened to twilight as though an eclipse had blocked the sun, while the castle itself burst into radiant white light, the walls and roof beginning to smoke as the simple stone construction began to melt.

Phantom Eye

127 Charges remaining.

The fifth Phantom snake and an eye shot down to the ground, their purpose to churn the boiling pot of melting stone and kill anyone who tried to run.

As the castle began to melt, bounty tags began rolling in.

Floor-wide Alert!

Elkriver Misery has been engaged on Floor 9.

Elkriver is wanted dead for a-

Floor-wide Alert!

Nepath Handras has been engaged on Floor-

Floor-wide alert!

Onnon Gennith has-

Floor wide Alert!

B-

Floor wide Alert!

Floor wide Ale-

Floor wide-

Floor-

Fl-

No levels yet. They haven't died. These guys are pretty tough, Will thought to himself.

Guess it's time to stir the pot.

When Will had first conceived the idea, he'd pictured it like stirring a boiling cauldron, but in practice, he was surprised to realize that it worked a lot more like folding dough, as the melted portions of stone became sticky molten glass.

The light bearing down on the castle could only melt what it directly hit, so the exposed outer edges of the castle were bearing most of the heat, and the fae were largely tough enough to survive a few moments to seek shelter inside the castle.

That was when Will's final Phantom Snake flew down to ground level and sent a ripple through the ground with Aspect that created an earth-spear that launched about an eighth of the castle over the rest of the castle.

Folding the castle like dough.

The white-hot melting exterior was folded in and new unheated castle bits were exposed to the concentrated sunlight.

Will repeated this process over and over, folding the hot outer portion of the fae castle inward while exposing unheated portions to the light, until the entire castle took on the appearance of a gooey lump of glowing dough with fully carbonized corpses sticking haphazardly out of it like ants.

Sure, plenty of Fae tried to escape or fight back, but Will was miles away, and the roaming Phantom Snake was lightning-fast, either slicing them apart, exploding them with cannonballs, or simply shoving them back into the lump of cherry-hot glass that had formerly been their lord's seat of power.

Floor-wide Alert!

William Oh has single-handedly claimed the bounty! (X26)

Many thanks to our Climbers for their efforts.

You are now a level 52 Resourceful Climber.

Primary Upgrade available! (x2)

Secondary Upgrade Available!

Class Advancement Available!

Will released the lens and brought himself back to the ground, breaking the air on the way back until he arrived in front of his audience.

"Umm…Will?" Bakton asked, his voice wavering a bit.

"One second." Will said, bringing his five snakes down around the castle, creating a six-sided figure with himself as one of the points.

Will and his five snakes each stomped the ground, the ripples converging directly underneath the gargantuan mass of fae-filled glass and creating a pillar nearly the size of the entire castle itself and three times taller, launching the molten glass straight up into the sky.

The sticky glass tore a castle-sized chunk of solid stone away with it as it flew through the air, exposing the labyrinth of tunnels underneath.

With some creative air hardening, Will nudged the cherry-red mountain of glass away from his audience, preventing it from refilling the hole it had uncovered.

Phantom Eye

116 Charges remaining.

Will studied the pit he'd just torn out of the ground, its edges drooping inward from the sheer heat that had been accumulating over the last half-hour.

Will turned the phantom eye towards the sun.

He'd only been at work half an hour, but already the damnable Tower sun was moving out of position. If he went back up there and restarted the lens, a large portion of the area would be in shadow due to the depth of the pit and angle of the sun.

He was rapidly losing max effectiveness. Sure, he might be able to carve out a bit more, but it would get slower and slower as the sun moved out of alignment, fighting against the depth it had already carved. It had the most impact it was ever going to have already.

Might as well switch tactics.

Will assigned his free points, switched his Slotted Relic from the Resistance Ring to the Dimensional Coiled Serpent Amulet, and checked his stats.

William Oh

Resourceful Climber Level 52

53 + 131 Strength

159 + 94 Resistance

156 + 139 Kinesthetics

204 + 70 Acuity

104 + 83 Focus

Charges: 116/187

Free Points: 0

Non-stat Item Abilities: +40% Rogue Archetype potency, +35% Dimensional Ability Potency. Homefield Advantage. A/V dampening of attacks. +20% Ranger Archetype Potency +15% Baking/brewing potency, Progenitor's Disguise. 100% A/V dampening while hiding. Coiled Strike.

Phantom Hand Slots: (Ring of Accuracy*) (Ring of Resistance) (Wand of the Undead Retainer) (Stormfists) -(Dimensional Coiled Serpent Amulet)-

Primary Abilities: Aspect of the Immortal Serpent****, Phantom Hand*****

Secondary Abilities: Sourdough** Uru Drake's Eye

Tertiary Abilities: Phantom Eye

Primary Ability upgrade Available! (x2)

Secondary Ability Upgrade Available!

Class Advancement Available!

The early Class advancement was precisely what Will had been hoping he could pull off before going up to meet the paladin on the 10th Floor.

Choke on it.

No matter how exciting it was, it wasn't the right time to sit down and spend hours agonizing over upgrades and Class Advancement. Will had some more work to do.

Oh, look at that, the Coiled Serpent amulet finally reached 100% audiovisual dampening.

"Dear gods, what is THAT!?" Will shouted, prompting the others to glance the way he pointed.

He crouched down with the intent to hide, and his body turned entirely invisible. Not even a vague outline remained.

Will broke into a sprint and jumped over the glowing hot rim of the pit and sailed down into the guts of Kincaid's castle, his snakes following him in a chevron.

The cloak he was wearing dampened attacks, and made tracking and locating him via magic more difficult.

In short, Will was a ghost, and he had just changed the entire context of the battle.

Kincaid would be expecting a big, flashy Nuker-type attack, but what he was going to get was an invisible tomahawk to the back of the head.

Will spotted a gawker standing at the edge of a hallway that had been intersected by the pit, staring up at the missing castle above with a dumbfounded expression.

Will slipped around them like a gentle breeze.

His new tactic was most effective when they didn't know about it. Best use it first on his target, then mop up later.

Now how do I find this guy? Will paused and listened. Thankfully Kincaid made it easy.

"What do you mean, gone?" a distant voice roared. Will turned and started running.

"As in, no longer there. My Lord, the castle seems to have been melted and torn away from its foundations by some outlandish force."

"He's ONE MAN!" the voice bellowed. "Not even THAT! You're telling me a Rogue Archetype whose balls haven't dropped killed every single one of the thousands of elite soldiers I assembled specifically to stop him?"

"…you saw the notifications as well as I."

Will heard a distant grunt, and a sword blow land.

"Smartass."

And instant later, Will arrived in Kincaid's war-room deep underground, where the fae lord was cleaning blood off a rapier, one of his courtiers crumpled to the ground in front of him while half a dozen others looked on.

Coiled Strike

111 Charges Remaining

Will appeared directly behind the man and swung straight down at his skull. He'd been expecting to lodge the blade in the man's head, but the Coiled Strike bonus damage caused Kincaid to be bisected, along with a decent chunk of the floor.

Suddenly visible, Will launched himself across the room and caught another fae in the skull with his axe while his serpents formed their armor into blades, each of them shooting forward and dispatching another opponent.

Everyone in the room was dead before Kincaid hit the ground.

Will was glancing towards the door, considering his exit strategy, when Kincaid's corpse started chuckling.

Will glanced over at the corpse. The two halves seemed to be dissolving into the floor, each half watching him with a single eye, a morbid half-grin on their faces.

Will's gaze snagged on the section of floor that he'd cut when he bisected Kincaid.

It was bleeding.

Will's eyes flooded with the Key Site clearing notification.

Cancerous Mass

Without supervision, the caretakers of this Floor have grown beyond their original purpose, engaging in a macabre mimicry of their former masters, hoarding power while choking off the flow of Miasma to higher Floors. Cull any showing aberrant behavior and drive the rest away from the Key Site.

Will bolted for the door, but it slammed shut in front of him, and Will dug in his heels and leapt away moments before pseudopods thrust out of the door itself, aiming to entangle him.

"You really thought it would be that easy, boy!?" one of the disembodied heads that his snakes had cut off demanded, watching him with a manic grin.

Will glanced back down at Kincaid, whose clothes shifted to reveal one of Kincaid's ivory badges of office.

Ah. That wasn't Kincaid. I'm standing in him. That's what Mordaine meant when he called the fae a rotting fungus.

"That wasn't Kincaid, boy, you're-"

"-Standing in him, yes I know," Will said, resummoning his Phantom Eye to make sure it didn't wink out at an inopportune moment.

Phantom Eye

110 Charges Remaining.

Will cocked his head as he felt the air pressure subtly change, and the monochrome his natural vision normally saw shifted slightly. I'm no longer in the same place. Pocket dimension?

"You'll never escape, you're-"

"In a pocket dimension, yes, I know." Will interrupted.

"STOP DOING THAT!" The entire room rumbled with a voice bigger than any Will could possibly imagine.

"YOU STUPID, ARROGANT HUMAN! BE AFRAID! YOU ARE INSIDE MY BELLY! THERE IS NOTHING OUTSIDE ME! I AM ALL THAT IS!

The floor under Will turned pink and squishy as acrid slime began to ooze out of it.

Stomach acid, Will thought.

"You're the only thing that exists in this pocket dimension?" Will asked, glancing around as the walls slowly closed in, turning fleshy and pink. In a matter of seconds, they would engulf him completely.

He wants me to pick a direction and start cutting, wasting my effort. If Will was in a pocket dimension, space would warp so that Will simply couldn't escape this death room. Like he'd said: there was nothing outside of it.

Assuming he's telling the truth. I don't think fae can lie. This might not be as bad as it looks.

"You're a clever human, accepting your fate without too much struggle. Although if you were smarter, you would've killed yourself before I got hold of you, to save yourself the pain of decades of being slowly digested."

Will stroked his chin.

"So let me get this straight. Your stomach is a pocket dimension, and inside that pocket dimension, you are all that is. Everything."

"OBVIOUSLY!"

"So by that logic…if you're all that is…you must be the environment and the terrain?" Will asked.

"That's…"

"Don't bother answering," Will said, limbering up his axe arm. "I can see your fear."