The Kind Older Sister Is No More

“What’s that look for?”

“It’s nothing. I ate the wrong thing for breakfast. Feel sick. No need for you to worry.”

“You can afford to eat breakfast huh. I guess you must have plenty of time.”

“I drank a glass of milk, but it was spoiled! How can I have spare time before the banquet? Really! Really! I’m keeping myself busy! You don’t have to worry.”

Tom hastily cried, lest Noel give him more work to do. Noel glanced at Tom suspiciously and stood up. He headed to the door, packing what Tom had brought.

“Where are you going?” Tom called out, surprised that Noel had so abruptly let the matter go.

“To see my grandfather.”

“On your own? Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you?”

Noel looked back at Tom who now appeared to worry, not for himself, but for his friend.

“It’s alright. After all, it’s what I have to do.”

Noel left the office leaving a concerned Tom, and walked towards the room of the Great Kristen. A heavy oppression fell on him. Standing in front of the door, Noel took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

It’s been a long time since I last came here alone.

In fact, it was the first time since he had been a child. The young innocent boy who only wanted to be recognised as a grandson, and left daily without even a chance to hear his voice. Since then, every visit has always been with Tom, and lately, Irene.

Once upon a time, this door felt particularly large.

It was so tall and grand, when it opened, Noel felt incomparable to its shadow. He opened his eyes. 

‘Knock.’

“Grandfather, it’s me. May I come in?”

After knocking on the cedar doors, he spoke. But there was no answer.

It had always been like this. While the man was inside and listening, he still would not grant Noel the permission to come in. Noel sighed, and opened the door without waiting for his answer as always.

“...Come in.” A low soft grumble replied.

“...”

Noel was shaken. For the first time in his life, he had received an answer. The answer permitting his visit, instead of sending him back, was even more unfamiliar. Noel found himself unable to push the doorknob. He only gripped the brass more tightly in his hands. There were no more words beyond that door.

After a while, Noel pushed the door knob. Slowly, it opened. The rocking chair, which was always the first object to be seen upon entering, was empty. Noel entered the room, and turned his head to see the Great Kristen sitting at his desk working, wearing his glasses. Even when Noel came in, he did not take his eyes off the papers. That did not mean he was reading or writing, he just bowed and stared at the documents.

As if time had stopped in this room, Noel and the Grand Duke Kristen did not move at all. Noel looked at his grandfather wordlessly, and placed what he had carried on the desk. It landed with a thud, causing William to raise his head. 

What is this?

He seemed to be asking. “Irene prepared them.”

“Ah, sweetheart,” Kristen softened his expression upon hearing ‘Irene’. He pulled the white cloth.

“This piece is called ‘Room’, by Karl. They say you would like it.”

In the fireplace, flames flickered burning the firewood, and in the centre of the room was a large maroon rug. There was no furniture, but the light from the fire cast onto the stone cobbled walls and reflected into the warm interior. The rug seemed to absorb and disperse the warmth. It was an empty room, but there was no feeling of emptiness. Overall, it was a piece that exuded warmth and coziness.

“He painted an empty but warm room, because it could contain anything the person who was appreciating the painting could think of.”

“Indeed, this artist always pursues warm hues, and dry atmospheres. I like this kind of atmosphere. However, this work is something that I wouldn’t have taken note of. That child* has a good eye for art.”

* 아가야 is a term of endearment like sweetheart/darling/babe. Though in this context I thought child would be most appropriate.

“I like this painting.”

“It’s a wonderful gift. I want to say thank you.”

As they conversed, the Great Kristen’s gaze and touch remained only on the painting.

He barely touched it, lest the painting be damaged. He merely caressed the top of the cedar edges that framed the painting. His eyes filled with warmth, and reddened as if he were searching for something missing in the picture. Noel remained silent, only observing his grandfather.

“Is Grandfather looking for something in that room?”

“...”

The Great Kristen paused; his Adam's apple bobbed. How could he answer Noel? “There are things I want to include, but now can’t,” he replied in a low choked voice.

“...”

The Grand duke said no more. But Noel knew what he meant. Because more than anyone else, he knew what he had lost. Noel’s gaze dropped. He could not say anything, nor find the proper words to say to his grandfather who was reminiscing on the lost past.

Thinking it would be better to just go back today, Noel was about to turn around.

“But no matter how much you want them, there are things that you can’t have.”

“...”

“I realised that it’s very foolish to pursue what you can’t reach. It’s too late.”

“...”

“So, I’m going to put the things that I can’t get my hands on in this picture. Now I’m going to see reality.”

“...”

“Noel...sweetheart.”

//QAQ Grandpaa

• The Kind Older Sister Is No More