The Janitor Who Was A Killer

Vardan, the ultimate weakling and certified school nerd, had one talent—memorizing the periodic table backwards. Unfortunately, that skill didn't stop Chad, the biggest bully in school, from making him do his dirty work.

"Yo, Vardan! Go get the ball from the storage room," Chad barked, smirking.

"But… but it's dark in there," Vardan stammered, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Exactly. Now move it, nerd!"

Resigned to his fate, Vardan trudged to the storage room, flicking on the light with the speed of someone expecting a zombie apocalypse. There it was—the ball. But as he bent down to grab it, a gleam caught his eye from the corner.

A suitcase.

Curiosity struck harder than the dodgeballs Chad usually aimed at his face. He knelt down and popped it open.

Inside? A GUN.

His eyes bulged. "Oh. My. God. This is like every action movie ever!"

"Find something you like?"

Vardan froze. Slowly turning around, he came face-to-face with Old Man Jenkins—the school janitor. Jenkins was built like a vending machine and just as grumpy.

Vardan laughed nervously, slamming the suitcase shut. "Oh, I didn't see anything! Haha! Ball. Got the ball. I'm leaving now—"

Jenkins narrowed his eyes. "You saw the gun, didn't you?"

Vardan's face drained of color. "Gun? Who said anything about a gun? Haha, wow, the imagination on me today—"

"You know too much," Jenkins growled, stepping closer. "I can't let you walk out of here."

Vardan fell to his knees. "Please! I have so much to live for! Like… uh… the next season of Super Nerds Assemble!"

Jenkins squinted at him. "You're that kid who gets bullied all the time, right? The one Chad duct-taped to the vending machine last week?"

Vardan nodded vigorously, tears streaming. "Yes! That was me! I'm practically invisible to society!"

Jenkins sighed. "Ugh, fine. You're not worth the paperwork. But keep your mouth shut. Got it?"

"Absolutely, sir! My lips are sealed tighter than my braces!"

Ball in hand, Vardan sprinted back to Chad and his crew, panting like he just ran a marathon.

"Finally," Chad sneered. "Took you long enough."

Before Vardan could respond, Chad smacked the ball into his face. "Next time, faster."

Vardan crashed to the ground.

From the doorway, Jenkins watched. He shrugged. "Eh. Kid'll survive."

As Vardan lay there, he thought to himself, "I survived a gun-wielding janitor… but Chad's dodgeball is what takes me out?"

Life was unfair.