The Isekai App

"Hi!" said President Michelle over the phone. "You guys ready to get blasted to smithereens?"

We were.

Molly was galloping again, full speed. Later I learned she left a wake of light destruction: wind pulling things along with us, the occasional crushed power line. But she never stomped anyone who might have been out walking their dog (or whatever, since there were no more dogs), or trashed a house with a misplaced foot.

The first time we'd done this, I'd been knocked around on Molly's head, clinging desperately to one of her antlers. But now we had a pressurized cabin, various small stations around Molly's huge body, safety gear and harnesses keeping us in place. And each of us were different physically, of course, but we all had color-coded helmets if we had heads. Like the Power Rangers, Lir had said. His helmet was pretty tiny.

"Coming to get me?" Michelle said. "What if there are thousands of Humans around, gonna slaughter them too?"

"Not just you," I said.

TODD

Her voice boomed over a loudspeaker in the cabin.

That seemed to set Michelle back a step. Click. No more gloating over the phone, at least not for a few minutes. ADHD seemed to be in full force with Michelle.

Mabruk didn't get a helmet, but instead had painted his balloon body with World War Two camo. He seemed strangely fierce with it, reminding me of what the Wasp Queen had said about the Gardeners and their ancient wars. "I'm worried about endoskeletal durability."

Mabruk would know. "Because she's still growing?"

"Among other things. I think the xylem upgrades are helping but … there's only so much we can do to help her."

I addressed the empty air. "Molly, what do you say to that? Are you hurting, sweetie?"

SOME

"Can you make it? Want to keep this up? We don't have to do it. We can just let it slide, find another way."

ENOUGH!

That seemed to be the sentiment. We kept going.

"Phone call coming, dudes." As the self-described Token Girl, Amalthea had demanded the "Uhura Job:" Communications and Violence. I hadn't remembered Star Trek portraying Uhura to be particularly violent; maybe there had been a reboot I didn't know about. "City of Trees."

A cold, inhuman, angry male voice, obviously synthesized. "I'm the inappropriately-named Gary of the Gardener People."

"Hi, Gary," all of us said in chorus.

"Hi. You are all fools. All of you. It will not be forgotten."

I tried to parse what he was saying. Fools. "Thank you, sir. We'll do our best."

"Rip and tear until it is done. I don't like you but I respect your mission. I respect that you helped the Gardener city."

"Thank you, Gary," All of us said in chorus again.

"Call's over," Amalthea said. "He quoted a video game."

Mabruk: "He's actually a league gamer, very good at it. Epic trash talk–"

"Shields up," said Lir. "I mean, as a suggestion, Rebound, you're the boss here. But we have bad guys coming up over Cincinnati."

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"Sheilds up, you heard the man."

"I'm shields," Lir reminded me. "And they're up. If you don't mind I'll just–"

"Do what you gotta, hermano."

"Appreciate you. It's one of those machines, the weapon platforms. The Panzer Ausf. model M. It's heading over to intercept."

"Can we kill it? Do we want to?"

Silence. Getting into a fight if we didn't have to wasn't a great idea.

I'm sure my noble readers, who are much more experienced and worldly than I, have had this experience, but it was new to me and this chronicle needs to have this described:

With the exception of Molly, all of us were versions of the same person. We were friends, siblings, simpatico. We trusted one another when we'd grown up trusting nobody. It was rock-solid support.

Our minds were melting into a stew. I was starting to wonder where Ruhk ended and I began, who Amalthea was and if she was actually different from Lir.

I was supposed to be in charge, for no reason I could see. But it sure made things easier on us.

The flow of information was instantaneous, concise:

Molly is hurting. She can get us there.

Molly is a good girl. She deserves rest after this.

Graviton filtering works against projectile weapons, not worried about that

What about the Stalk and lasers? We'll find out, dudes

Rebound needs to get laid after this

Yeah get that Prime Minister so very married/pregnant

Runes are holding, I'll adjust

I'd like to get a mate, I like female people and want to live with one and frequently copulate

Who said that, was it Lir?

All of us are Lir in that way

I'm not I'm a crab chick but I get it

Rebound, I remember once you said you wanted to go surfing with a naked woman

That's true I did say that, I'd like it inscribed on my family crest in Latin

You think she'd do it?

I'll do it but I'm a crab chick, I can survive out of water for a few minutes at a time, I got you

It was freeing.

But we were worried about Molly. And we didn't want to tell her. And she knew anyway, that's the problem with the perpetual state of oversharing.

NECESSARY

"Phone call," Amalthea said. "From the Magnificavespa Ceremonialis Imperatrix Pugnax LXII, Queen in Exile."

"The Lure has ended," said the Wasp Queen. "Your Ai self has herded the souls from the induced pain container. I fear that version of you, Rebound Mateo. He is terribly angry, even more irritating than you are. I worry for my children."

"I'm sorry, your Majesty. Is he with you?"

"We follow. He does not speak."

"You're not Human. He likes you, I guarantee it."

"He has no body, barely any physical presence. I don't know if my usual methods would be sufficient. Talk to him."

I shrugged, Amalthea called the AI container that held the Owen from Hell.

Another cold male voice, similar to that of Gary. "Oh, hello."

"Don't hurt the Wasp Queen, please. You scare her."

"I do? I don't want that. I like her a lot, she's mean."

"She worries about her kids with you, can you reassure her? She'd be here with us but it's too dangerous. You guys are Phase Three, the most crucial Phase."

"Phases are important," all of us said.

"Anything for you, Mateo. You got me out. You helped me get the rest out."

"Doesn't have to be anything, just make sure she knows you won't hurt her, okay? And what should we call you?"

"Owen."

"That's everyone, dude."

"Virgil. From Dante's Inferno."

"Okay, not the usual book but good to go. Everyone, say hello."

"Hi, Virgil," said everyone.

"I'm so glad to be a part of this team that I could just destroy a government!" said Virgil.

"You're in the right place," I said.