The Innkeeper

A nude man covered in illusions for clothes, a pup and a goldfish in a fishbowl began to explore the farm inside the super Heaven that was probably the core of their universe. There was no punchline because Lex's life itself was a joke.

"What is this crop?" Mango asked, looking at the neat rows of some unknown plant buried in the ground.

"I'm not sure, I've never seen them before," Lex answered. He no longer needed something like the Fancy Monocle to identify items - not that he had the monocle anyway - as his own memory was vast enough to record any and all general information he came across.

In a sense, his own eyes were much more effective versions of the Fancy Monocle. So the fact that he could not recognize the crops meant that they were a type that he had never encountered before, which was kind of fitting. It would be slightly disappointing if they were farming turnips in Heaven.

Taking note of the odd plants, the group moved on, searching for any signs of life or activity in the farm. For a brief moment, it seemed like they wouldn't be able to find anyone, and would have to figure out the rules of the place on their own. Fortunately, Fenrir's keen nose picked up an unusually familiar scent, and led the group towards its source.

Seated comfortably in a small dug out hole in the base of a small, dirt hill was, unexpectedly, a human. To be more specific, it was a teenager, and he was busy watching something on what looked like a tablet, clearly ignoring the work he should be doing on the farm. Lex had never been happier to see a kid avoiding work. Finally, something that made sense!

"Hey there," Lex called out as they approached the kid. "Excuse me, we're new here and don't know the rules of this place. I was wondering if you could help us out."

It always helped to be direct and explain the situation when meeting a stranger in a foreign environment, lest there be some kind of misunderstanding. Yet in this situation, it seemed Lex's words had the opposite effect.

The kid looked at Lex and the others and became confused when he didn't recognize them.

"Nobody told me I was going to have visitors, and I don't recall approving any workers from the town. How did you all get in here?" he asked, slowly standing up after pausing the video he was watching.

"We entered through the gate in the fort wall," Lex explained. "We came from outside and-"

"Outside? Nobody comes in from the outside," the boy said. "Do you mean you took the ferry? But that still doesn't explain how you got to the farm."

"I'm not sure what ferry you're talking about," Lex said while looking at Mango, hoping the fish might know, but it seemed the fish was oblivious. "We walked in from the outside-"

"Walked?" the kid interrupted again, sounding shocked. "No one walks to places in Arch-Heaven. How is that even possible? Do you know what the outside is like? How could you walk?"

Lex was slightly annoyed at the interruptions, but he couldn't blame the kid. The environment out here wasn't really great, and Lex would have never made it if it hadn't been for the protection offered by Mango.

"We walked because we had no other way of getting here," Lex said, patiently. "I've never heard of this ferry you're talking about, and since I'm new here, I don't know how else to get around. Would it be possible for you to share your knowledge about this place? We've come to this place to find someone."

The kid looked at Lex with a mix of disbelief and wonder when he realized they didn't seem to be lying.

"Holy smokes, that's incredible? How did you avoid dying? Old Jerry tried to exit out of the fort the regular way and, well, we gave him a thought burial since he didn't have a body left after that-"

Fenrir began to growl, alerting the three that the kid was doing something suspicious. After knowing Fenrir for his entire life, or well, for as long as Mango could remember, his faith in Fenrir was great, so immediately the fish displayed some of its fabulous amazingness by splashing its tail outside the water.

White chains made seemingly out of marble erupted from the ground and wrapped themselves around the kid, restricting him to the ground.

"How- how did you do that?" the kid asked, shocked so much his eyes nearly popped out of his eyes.

"I have no idea," Mango said decisively, aiming his face upwards a little so that he could look down on him.

Lex was also curious, but he knew better than to ask the fish these questions by now. Even if he knew the answer, he certainly didn't remember anymore. He was acting purely on instinct.

So, instead, Lex focused his attention on the kid.

"Listen, kid, we were being polite but that doesn't mean we can be pushed around," he said, walking up to the kneeling kid. "Tell me about this place. And this time, actually answer the question."

The kid, looking up at Lex, gulped. Even though the kids limiter had been raised considerably, it was not even close to Lex's, let alone Mangos. As such, not only was he helpless in front of Lex, but when he sensed the absolute power radiating within, his already buckled knees felt even weaker.

"I-I… I didn't do anything…" he muttered eventually which only caused Lex to roll his eyes.

"Yes, I know you didn't do anything," Lex said sarcastically, "but you better answer my questions before I do something."

That little bit of intimidation seemed to do the trick.

"This… this is the Rohas Fort," the kid began to tell Lex. "There's very few of us stationed here, and the town is usually empty. But ever since I got the official position of farmer, the value of the fort increased drastically."