The Human From a Dungeon

Nick Smith

Adventurer Level: 7

Human – American

"We're getting close, now" Larie said. "These fae and I are familiar with one another, so please allow me the honor of introductions."

"Don't worry," Rebis laughed. "I know better than to give my name to a fae."

"Well, actually, these fae already have names so there's no need to be concer-"

"Just a joke."

"Ah, right."

The forest around us creaked and moaned as we continued walking. The weather had changed from sunny to overcast and windy not long after we'd entered the woods. Thankfully, it wasn't raining, but the smell was there.

"We should pick up the pace," I said. "It's going to rain soon."

"I think it would have already if it was gonna," Nash replied.

"You can't smell it?" I asked with a puzzled expression.

"Smell what? The rain?"

"Yeah."

"Of course you can smell the fuckin' rain," he sighed. "Cuz that makes sense, right? Why not?"

"I... You really can't smell that?"

"No, dammit! The fuck do you even mean? I smell wind and trees and dirt."

"I don't smell nothin' special, either," Rebis added.

"Me neither," Mako shrugged.

The rest of the group shrugged and shook their heads, except for Yulk, who was stroking his chin. He was so lost in thought that he stumbled over a root, but caught himself with his staff. He turned to look at the root in question with a very confused expression.

"Look, I don't know how to explain a smell," I said, exasperated. "All I know is that it smells like it's going to rain soon."

"He's right, it is," a voice said from behind us.

We froze and turned around, but didn't see anything amiss. Gali reached for his bow, but Rebis stopped him with a gesture. We stood silent and listened for a moment, then Heino stepped forward.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"You're lookin' right at me," the disembodied voice replied.

We exchanged confused glances.

"Okay, but that doesn't answer my question," Heino crossed his arms. "While you're at it, why can't I see you?"

"Listen, little-thing, I was just tryin' to be helpful. It's takin' alotta effort to hold onto my leaves with all this damn wind," one of the trees rotated slightly. "Ain't really got the energy for introductions, and we don't need to know each other anyway, so why don't you bugger off now?"

"Uh... Yeah... Fair enough," Heino said. "Let's get goin'."

Heino turned and began to walk before the shock wore off for the rest of us. Larie levitated after him, and the rest of us had to jog to catch up.

"So... The fuck?" Rebis asked once we caught up.

"Dunno," Heino shrugged. "Didn't wanna find out the hard way, though."

"Since when are there trees that can talk?" Nash asked.

"All trees can talk, but not usually via vocalizations," Larie explained. "That was a grosp. They dwell within old growth forests and interact with the fair folk pretty often. That one was more social than most."

"Didn't seem very social to me," Gali said.

"Precisely. Most of them are quite wary of mortals. A deep-seated prejudice that has sat within them since times long forgotten to everyone else," Larie said, then shrugged. "At least, that's what the fae have told me."

"I didn't even realize that the grosp can present as trees," Yulk said casually. "I was under the impression that they typically take the form of massive agaric growths."

"A-what?" Rebis asked before I could.

"Agaric," Gali answered. "It's a type of mushroom."

"So there's big talking mushrooms somewhere out there?"

"Could be in here, too," Mako chuckled menacingly. "You never know."

"Yeah, don't like that. Some things just shouldn't be able to talk."

Mako chuckled louder, and stopped as we came to a sudden clearing. The sound of wind abruptly ceased, and a sense of mystery hung in the air. Larie floated in front of us and beckoned for us to follow him.

"I've come to call in a favor, if it's convenient," Larie called out.

"And those with you?"

We looked around for the owner of the voice but saw no one.

"Interested parties, and insofar as I can tell, friends of the fair folk," the lich replied. "Some of which are proven as such."

"Yes. Nick. Nash. Yulk. Allies of the Deepwyld. Permissions were granted. Not here, though. Far from here, in more ways than one. Name your payment for the debt we owe."

"I humbly request the aid of your expertise with language and puzzles. This may be a challenging task, and so I am willing to discuss compensation, if need be."

"A challenge, you say?"

With an audible pop, a figure enveloped in bright light appeared in front of Larie. My first instinct was to shield my eyes from the brightness, but I quickly realized that the light wasn't hurting my eyes at all. Confused, I lowered my hand and looked at everyone else. Their confusion met my own, and we all looked at the fae as if it weren't shining like a star.

It was nude, androgynous, and levitating at the same height as Larie. It held its hands cupped just below its sternum and had its eyes closed. Somehow, though, I could tell that it was still staring at me.

"Gah," Rebis shuddered. "I don't mean any kind of offense or rudeness, but that's a creepy sorta vibe your giving off."

"As is intended, then," the fae winked without moving its eye lids.

Larie held up his hand as a warning for silence, and we obliged.

"May I introduce you?" the lich asked the fae.

"No need," Veern replied. "They know me now. And I them."

And it was true, I knew of the arch-fae of the court of stillness. Its name, Veern, granted by a mysterious being that leaves a hole in my mind. It loves the way that ice slowly forms when autumn first arrives. It hates the smell of flowers and has a flair for the dramatic, even compared to the other wylder. It once kicked Mumuldobran in the non-physical equivalent of a dick for becoming a king and leaving the court.

It felt as if I'd known it all my life, but had amnesia about how we met. I knew of Veern, but not of the court of stillness or why it was angry with Mumuldobran for leaving. The word wylder popped into my head and from context I was able to guess its meaning, though I'd never heard it before. When these discrepancies came to mind, my stomach tied itself in knots.

'I want you to know that I did not enjoy that,' Ten said angrily.

'Enjoy what?' I asked.

'Whatever that thing just did. All my neuromapping just flew right out the window and into a puddle.'

"Hmm, don't think any of them would make interesting playthings for us, except Nick. Though playing with Nick would lead to some rather serious problems," Veern sighed. "Nash might be fun for some of the fairies, but his hot temper would quickly escalate to the point of ruining things. The bone fae would love Mako, but he would break too quickly. Rebis would entertain the sirens or sprites for a time, but the issue of keeping it in his pants would limit that enjoyment to half a day at most. Heino and Gali are too cautious for play. Ithrima and Yulk are too curious for play. Congratulations, you are all safe! For now."

"I see. Well, I suppose that saves us some time," Larie said. "Though the veiled threats are unnecessary, Veern. I came for aid that you owe to me, and these mortals are under my protection. Let's not be rude."

"Veern knows no other way to communicate," another voice called from behind us.

We turned and watched a skeleton enter the clearing. It walked right through our little group and up to Larie. Something about it felt off, as if its bones didn't all belong to the same being.

It took me a second to realize that it was a bone fae, like King Horth back in the Deepwyld Forest, but not wearing any facsimiles of flesh and fabric. The bone fae stopped in front of Larie. The two skulls regarded each other with their empty sockets and flesh-less faces.

"It is a pleasure to see you again, Nirton," Larie said.

"Same, Larie," the bone fae replied, then raised a bony fist. "Fight me!"

Everyone, including Veern, froze for a moment. Nirton pumped his fist in the air, causing a rattling noise. Larie regarded the bone fae carefully, then shook his head sadly.

"We don't have time, I'm afraid," the lich said. "I am tasked."

"Who tasks you?" Nirton asked. "I'll destroy them, then we can fight."

"I task me."

"Then we can-"

"No, but perhaps at a later time," Larie held up his hand gently. "There is knowledge to be obtained."

"Oh, about your lost flesh?"

"Perhaps, but potentially intriguing knowledge regardless."

"Hmm," Nirton thought for a moment. "Fine, I'll hold off the challenge for now. May we double our usual bet, though?"

"Of course," Larie nodded. "I will want your rarest matching tibia and fibula."

"Fine by me. I'll be wanting your mandible and sternum."

Larie chuckled and reached into his satchel while the rest of us shared concerned glances. He pulled out the tablets and then offered them to Veern. The arch-fae looked confused for a moment, glanced at its hands, then sighed.

The light surrounding Veern disappeared as it opened its eyes, grabbed the tablets, and began its examination. Its demeanor made a subtle shift from perturbed to alarmed, then carefully neutral. Before I could ask why, it cleared its throat and looked back to Larie.

"What language do you need these deciphered into?" Veern asked.

"They are written in code," the lich replied.

"I am aware," the arch-fae replied testily. "What language do you need?"

Larie turned to me inquisitively.

"Can you decipher them into English?" I asked.

Both the arch-fae and the bone fae visibly winced at my question.

"Oh, sorry," I apologized instinctively. "What's-"

"Yes, I can decipher them into... Their original language," Veern interrupted me. "Wait here, I'll return soon. You'll be safe from the rain in this clearing."

Veern disappeared with a pop, and Nirton regarded us nervously. His gaze fell on me more than the others.

"I'm going to take my leave, as well," the bone fae said. "We'll duel some other time, old friend."

"Very well," Larie nodded.

Nirton turned and walked away from us at a brisk pace. Several questions seemed to hang in the air, but nobody said anything. I contemplated the behavior of both fae. Why did they flinch when I said English? How did Veern know the tablet was encoded? How did it even know what English is?

"Well, would you look at that," Rebis pointed above us, interrupting my thoughts. "It really is raining."

"Gods damn it," Nash muttered.

Chapter 72.5

Master Vampire Kirain Yith

Adventurer Level: N/A

Drow Master Vampire - Balushenian

'Well, well, well. This is a surprising result,' the void whispered.

'What is? What's happening?' I demanded.

'The others have conferred. A decision has been reached.'

'And what was their-'

My eyes snapped open and I gasped involuntarily as pain shrieked through my body. The smell of burnt flesh stung my nostrils. I tried to stand, but remained firmly on my back, as if my limbs would not heed my commands.

"You sure we can't eats?" someone asked.

"No, bad meats. Smell it. We gots to burn it," someone else said.

Recognition of these speech patterns tickled at my mind, but the pain prevented cognizance.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" I shouted as I once again tried and failed to move.

"AH! IT LIVING!"

"So? It can't hurt you, scaredy-scales. Keep cuttin'."

I contorted my neck to look around and saw a few kobolds standing around roaring fire. A kobold with a short sword began to approach me as another threw a severed leg into the fire. I glanced down and realized with horror that I didn't have any arms, and the leg that just went into the fire was probably my own.

"NO!" I screamed.

A blinding pain rippled through me as the sword bit into my torso, slicing away precious flesh. Regenerate, I have to buy time to regenerate! The dryness I felt in my mouth grew more intense as I focused on trying to regrow my limbs.

"Please!" I whimpered. "Stop! I'll just go! I'll-"

"Nope," a kobold interrupted me. "You hurt the lord. If you live, you might do it again. Oh, plus you killed my friends and family."

"Yeah, that wasn't a very nice thing to do to Simeeth. Bad sucker," the kobold with a sword said as it threw another piece of me into the flames.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'll never hurt anyone again!" I lied. "Just, please stoAAAGH!"

The sword plunged into my flesh once more. The kobolds chuckled cruelly at my screams.

"Think he's small enough yet?" one of them asked.

"Please," I begged hoarsely.

"Yeah," another one replied. "But let's chop the head first. Still has sharp teeth to bites with."

"No! I can give you things! I ca-"

My words turned into a gurgle as the blade carved its way into my throat, sawing back and forth. I desperately tried to bite at the kobold, but the muscles in my neck wouldn't bring my head around. I felt the sword crack the bones in my neck and tried to scream, but could only flap my mouth in response to the pain.

A hand grabbed my hair and lifted me into the air, giving me a view of my mutilated body. All that was left of me was my barely recognizable chest, I had only been able to regenerate the stumps of my shoulders. The kobold who grabbed my head began to walk toward the fire.

"Make sure all the meats go into the fire," the one carrying me said. "Otherwise the sucker will grow back."

"What about the leakings?"

"Granny said that they need their meats to come back. The blood's fine where it is."

"But the lord will want it cleaned."

"Then we'll cleans it. FOR THE LORD!"

"FOR THE LORD!"

The reality of my situation finally sunk in as the kobold wound up to throw me. I'm going to die. I finally found the power I've wanted for so long, the power to make things the way they should be, and now I'm going to die. It's not right. It's not fair!

I experienced a brief moment of weightlessness and panic before I impacted amongst the flames. Intense pain was all I could feel, and the only thing I could hear over the roar of the fire was the sound of my skin sizzling. All I could see were flames licking at my face, before my eyes melted in my skull.

I longed for the end to finally come while I silently screamed, cursing my mother and father, the vampires, the inbred bastard king, the orcs, the adventurers, and even the gods. Everyone that led me to this fate. Then the pain ebbed, and the void returned.

A sickening laughter echoed within my mind. Confusion and anger whirled within me.

'What? Am I... Dead?' I asked. 'Is this the afterlife?'

'No. What you have just experienced is the fate that you have been spared by the mercy of those higher than you,' the wicked god answered. 'Though that mercy wears thin. There were many who craved your demise, and you were only spared by one vote.'

'One... Vote?'

'Indeed. Out of the dozens of votes that were cast, one singular vote defined the majority and spared your middling existence.'

'Middling?' I demanded as my anger flared.

'Quite. You acted haughtily, under the mistaken impression that by becoming a master vampire you had also become supremely powerful. You were warned that a challenge was coming, and failed to take any reasonable precautions, thereby failing the challenge entirely. You didn't even manage to actually kill any of your opponents.'

'I-'

'Have been an immeasurable disappointment. Thus far you've been nothing more than a failure, and those are extraordinarily common. There isn't anything spectacular about a failure. We expected far better from one who dares to hold ambitions to conquer the world.'

The words tore into me, exposing the inadequacies and insecurities that I'd buried deep within. There was nothing that I could think of in reply, no argument that I could make. Even now, as I mentally revisit the fight I can see the mistakes I made. Stupid and foolish mistakes that I should have been smart enough to avoid.

'Yes. You shouldn't have sent your minions into a choke-point, limiting their superior maneuverability and simultaneously leaving you undefended. You should have been less cautious in expanding your forces. You should have this, you should have that,' it said impatiently. 'But you didn't. We expected strategy, not stupidity. We expected brutality, not cowardice. Your fear of failure ensured it.'

I found myself unable to be angry at these words even as they bit into me. Though the tone was condescending, it was a well-deserved chiding. I should have been smarter, should have taken this more seriously. To hells with the gods and their challenges, this was my life that I threw away with my stupid mistakes.

'What now?' I asked, my ego completely deflated.

'In accordance with the compact of the highest one, you will be spared and I will speed up your regeneration. From there, do as you will. Perhaps your homeland will be more accommodating to a failure such as yourself,' the god laughed cruelly. 'Perhaps you'll even learn the secrets that the other vampires have kept from you, and we'll get to see how those secrets shape you. Or, perhaps you'll stumble yet again and die a pathetic death. We will be silent to you from now on, and we will not intercede on your behalf again. Begone.'

My eyes snapped open and I gasped involuntarily as the shock of what had happened ran through my mind. I scrambled to a sitting position, breathing heavily and checking to make certain that I was intact. Tears ran down my face as I gripped my arms and legs, the memories of my demise still fresh.

The cold of the dungeon floor barely registered upon my nude form, but the sound of padded feet and chattering coming from the entrance hall sent a chill down my spine. Kobolds. Conflicting thoughts surged to the front of my consciousness. Fight or flight?

I've killed several dozen kobolds thus far, and that was before I became a master. It would be a simple matter to kill more of them, and it would make me feel better about the trauma I had just endured. They wouldn't stand a chance, but...

If I kill the kobolds, it will broadcast my survival if the adventurers return to this dungeon. There had been a kobold that had accompanied the adventurers. If the same kobold is with this group and I kill it, they may hunt me down. The murder of a companion, pet or otherwise, is the perfect motivation for revenge.

I decided that leaving would be the wisest choice, and scrambled to my feet. After a moment of stumbling, I fled deeper into the dungeon. I grabbed a robe and cloak, threw them on, and jogged through the rear exit of the dungeon and into the dilapidated manor.

The sun shone upon my face through a hole in the roof, and I gratefully breathed in the outside air. Mindful of my appearance, I concentrated until I felt my face shift into the visage of Habis. The homeless elf would serve me one last time, as my mask.

Carefully noting that the adventurers may have committed this face to memory, I decided to find a new one as soon as possible. With this ability, though, I will have no trouble gathering intelligence on what is happening within the Night Kingdom. Assuming anyone knows, that is.

With one more deep breath, I raised the hood of my cloak and left the manor behind.