The Homeseeker: Elemental Adventurer LitRPG [Isekai] (Series Complete!)

Zalan listened intently as tried to get a grip over his rapid breath. He was almost certain he heard a voice. But he believed it was too implausible to hear something familiar like a human this deep into the Depths of Despair. He had truly lost his mind. He must have been hearing voices. Or it was one of the regret monsters that accosted them when they entered the mines, but he didn't think it would be so quiet while he thought about it. Whatever the voice was, it was the most clear thing in the darkness, so he replied. The delusion almost brought him comfort.

"What did you say?" Zalan asked.

"I said why not? Why not just die?"

"Why would I want to die?" Zalan asked.

"What reason is there to live?" The voice sounded weak and depressed. Like something was wrong with it.

Zalan blinked in confusion. He hadn't expected the voice to echo slightly off of the walls of the mines. He could even hear the voice breathing. It was far more diegetic than something he expected to live exclusively in his head. He raised his head slightly, trying to see if he could turn his head to the source. He began to hope that it was actually there with him.

"Are you real?" Zalan asked.

The voice didn't respond. Zalan decided it was probably a confusing question and tried again.

"Ummm… Who are you?" he asked.

"I am Finnegan," the voice replied.

Zalan turned his way sharply. He had found the lost youngster from Nightfall. It was one of the reasons they came into the Depths of Despair. But he was in no shape to mount a rescue operation. It was cruel to find him only to be able to do nothing about it. Zalan sighed in defeat, not knowing what to do. He realized that only Finnegan had shared his name.

"My name's Zalan," Zalan replied.

He slowly began to crawl in Finnegan's direction. It hurt him to move, but again he was drawn forward by the need not to stay in one place. They could share the comfort in being the only two living humans in the Depths of Despair.

"What are you doing about your death?" Finnegan asked, his voice monotonous.

"I don't really know," Zalan admitted. "I just don't want to die."

"Why not?" Finnegan asked again.

"Why not? Why would I want to die?" Zalan said, feeling the conversation was getting circuitous.

"Because none of this matters," Finnegan replied, in a dejected, hollow voice.

Zalan finally registered what was wrong with the voice. It was lacking any thought that was better than pure sorrow. He sounded like he was in serious mental anguish. Zalan's first guess was that he had been in the Depths of Despair for too long. His mental health was shot. Then, Zalan came to another conclusion he hoped wasn't true.

"Finnegan, were you hit by the Mind of Madness?" Zalan asked.

Finnegan remained quiet. Zalan took it as a mild affirmation. The immediate blast was enough to render someone lost in their thoughts, but given enough time, a victim of the dark beam could bubble back up to consciousness. That was how he got back to his feet the first time struck by the Mind of Madness. Friends and time. Zalan had never been hit when there was no one around to assist him. This was the lasting effects of the Mind of Madness when it was left to fester on its own. Toiling away in a mind that no longer wished to live.

"Hey," Zalan went to nudge him, and his hand stuck to something on Finnegan's body.

Zalan's eyes went wide in horror. He had to pull hard to tear the hand off. Finnegan had been tied up by giant spider webs, saved for a later meal. Zalan swiveled his head around, despite being in pitch darkness, searching for the spiders with his ears. The distant sounds of creatures remained present. The eerie sense of being watched remained. But nothing felt especially close.

"Finnegan, did you get hit with the Mind of Madness blast or not?"

"It wouldn't matter either way," Finnegan said.

"It does matter!" Zalan hissed. "I have an Artifact that can help, but I don't want to waste it if you're not affected by it."

"It would be a waste on me either way. I will be dead soon," Finnegan said softly.

Zalan sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. He could use the Essence of Soul on Finnegan and maybe get him back to his feet. Zalan frowned at the thought. What was the point of getting him back to his feet if he would die here anyway? Was it better to die when out of your mind or die fully conscious? As soon as Zalan asked himself the question, he knew what he would want done to him.

"I'm gonna use it on you," Zalan said, pulling out the Artifact. "Then I'm gonna get you out of those webs." Even if it didn't work, he determined there was no better use for the Artifact, anyway. He wouldn't be able to use it on himself if hit by the Mind of Madness.

"Why? What is the point? We will both perish shortly, whether free or not," Finnegan said.

"Shut up. I can try to get you out of the Depths of Despair too. But first you need to get back to your senses."

He activated the Artifact with a tight squeeze and held it up to Finnegan. Zalan gasped in surprise. The Artifact emitted the slightest bit of light when activated. He could finally see again. Finnegan's face looked dirty and bruised, his hair matted. There were deep bags under his red eyes, and he looked younger than Zalan by a few years. In Zalan's world, he might be the age of a freshman in college. From the neck down, he was bound by giant webs.

"I do not care much for getting out of here," Finnegan said, his face turning away from the light. "There is nothing for me out there."

"Yeah there is! People out there care about getting you back! They sent me and my friend in specifically to come find you. You may think they don't care, but that's just you trying to cope with being okay with dying. Deep in your heart, you know people care."

"They do not."

"Dude, I wouldn't care about talking with you if they didn't care."

"But my parents are dead," Finnegan countered.

Zalan was growing frustrated with the young man. Every attempt he made was shot down by another depressing remark. He realized just how patient Rep had been with him in all the time he'd guided him through the realm. Especially the past few days. Zalan had been deeply negative toward every attempt Rep made to make him feel better. Every time, Rep would try to treat him with patience, something Zalan had run out of in seconds with Finnegan.

He'd been a terrible friend. At this point, they had been together so long that Zalan felt that Rep was more a brother than just a friend. But he was gone, consumed by an explosion. He only had Finnegan left to talk with. And he spoke curtly to him, already annoyed with his behavior.

"Are your parents really the limits to your family?" Zalan snapped. "What about cousins? Uncles and aunts and grandparents? What about your close friends?"

Zalan paused suddenly. He hadn't realized how much his own questions would affect him until after he said it. The idea struck him deeply. The entire time that he had been in the realm he thought only of his mother and his lack of her presence. But he had people who loved him enough in his life to check in on him even when he didn't want to be checked on. His cousin, Asher, came directly to his apartment to try and cheer him up. He never even would have considered visiting his mom if it wasn't for him.

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"Friends? Other family? That does not change the fact that my parents are dead. They were the greatest parents ever, and they will remain dead," Finnegan said, dejected.

Zalan had the same feeling eating away in his heart. What was dead would never return. Fran. Rep. Gone. But their presence wasn't entirely an absence. They still took space in his heart. Even without the presence of his mother, he would remember her so often. Her love for him carried on with him to entirely different worlds.

He would channel her behavior in his own actions as a way to pay tribute to her, even while in a totally other realm. He made decisions based on how he thought she would react. He told his friends about how she raised him and the realm regarded her with respect. Rep had never spoken ill toward his mom, and used her to try and motivate Zalan, because even Rep knew how incredible of a woman she was. Zalan smiled wistfully at the thought of his mother. He could imagine her smile, even now.

"No, Finnegan. Your parents won't really die unless you do. Because think about it. People are gonna notice the things that you do. If you're a good person, people see that. And if people think you're deserving of praise, that'll go beyond just you. They'll say things like… 'That Finnegan had some amazing parents to raise someone like this!' or 'Your parents would be really proud.' You could be the means of their living on in this realm, even after their death. But without you, they're really gone," Zalan said, speaking as the conclusion came to his own mind.

For once, Finnegan didn't have a quick, dismissive response. He looked upon Zalan with wide eyes, tears welling up.

"But… But I am…" Finnegan's lower lip trembled and he choked back a sob.

Zalan was amazed at how he saw this as a marked improvement. Gorb was right about shedding tears being a means for goodness for people. The Essence of Soul was working. And because Zalan was holding it up to Finnegan, its warm energy flowed powerfully through him as well. They were both desperately optimistic, fueled by its pleasant essence. Finnegan looked like he was remorseful, but his eyes yearned for a better emotion.

He didn't immediately jump to saying something about wanting to die. To see a potential avoidance of death was a definite sign of a better state of mind. He held the Artifact closer to the young man and waited patiently for him to finish his thought.

Finnegan cleared his throat and breathed deeply.

"I am not a good person," Finnegan admitted. "I have caused trouble to those in and out of Nightfall. I gathered money by any means I could. And I hurt so many in my pursuit."

Zalan said the next words without much thinking, the conversation with Penelope so fresh in his mind.

"You can still change," he said sincerely.

"You do not understand. My parents left to find money in a castle. And for nothing! The city found its means of surviving by living more frugally and skipping a few meals a day! Now, I may be an orphan and branded a thief. I thought that if I gathered enough money, I would be able to bring them home myself. My greed was insatiable. And even after all my efforts, it is likely that they died outside of the city. "

Zalan was struck by Finnegan openly calling himself a thief. Captain Buttonwillow had spoken to Zalan on the concept of destiny before, but it never felt as relevant to him as it did in that moment. Penelope had given him a speech which applied directly to the person he was asked to search for. It was too amazing a coincidence for Zalan to believe that there wasn't some higher meaning.

"It doesn't matter what you were called before. Thief, liar, or whatever. If you're still alive, you can still change. You just have to work at making up for everything you stole before. Think about it. If you spend the rest of your life paying back your victims, they'll have no choice but to see you differently. Given enough years, you'll have spent a much longer time as a good person rather than a thief," Zalan said.

Monsters shifted in the distance. Their noises becoming increasingly ravenous. Hungry. The shifting earth sounded like they were closing in on him and Finnegan, but he didn't pay them any mind. Zalan's heart was growing full as he spoke, filling with increasing softness and determination. He wasn't so certain he would die in the Depths of Despair anymore. He had too much work to do to let it end here. Finnegan needed to escape to change his life, and Zalan could be the means of that.

The Essence of Soul was beginning to fade, the slight light it offered dying out. But the warmth of a newfound life remained in both young men. Zalan could see the tears rolling down from Finngean's eyes. There was a new emotion in his dimming features: Hope.

"I… I took so much. Gold and silver coins from everyone I could convince. Honest to God fortunes. Do you really think I can change?" Finnegan's last question came out as a sanguine whisper.

"We're still alive. So long as you still have a breath to spare, you can change. You just have to make a sincere effort to do so," Zalan said firmly.

"Even if I feel useless?"

The question lodged itself straight into Zalan's heart. Zalan felt an odd sensation come over his eyes. They began to sting. Tears didn't form, but this was the closest thing to it he had felt in years. He had also felt so useless since the loss of his Elemental Lightning Power. He couldn't fight the same, and was constantly in mental anguish over events of the past. But he didn't need to brood on what happened, when he could still affect his future. He was determined not to give up now, no matter the odds.

"Especially if we feel useless. We can do better," Zalan said, speaking to himself as much as he was to Finnegan. "We can be better and leave a grand legacy to our parents. One they deserve from their children."

"I… I can change," Finnegan said to himself. He began to struggle against the webs binding him. The monsters grew louder. It felt as though they had gathered the courage to swarm Zalan, and he kneeled over Finnegan defensively.

"To do nothing and give up is to allow your parents to die with you. And none of you deserve to die," Zalan said.

"I can not let this be the end of my story!" Finnegan pulled harder against the webs. Zalan was helping him with his free hand, the Essence of Soul dying out to a tiny, dim ember of light.

"It's better to live," Zalan agreed.

The scuttling of several spiders drew closer.

"For them," Finnegan tore off one of the webs.

"For us," Zalan said confidently. "To lead such a good life that it reminds the world of them."

"I want to live!" Finnegan said proudly. "I'll fight, no matter the odds!"

"I want to live!" Zalan said boldly, pulling off another shred of webs. Finnegan's upper body was free. He used both arms to tear viciously at his binds. "No matter how I am. Blind or not. Elemental Power or not, I'll fight to my dying breath."

Zalan stood, leaving Finnegan to free himself. What little light remained disappeared. Zalan quickly pulled his sword from its sheath just as the Essence of Soul died out, leaving him completely blind. He was defiantly undeterred. A burden had been lifted from Zalan.

He didn't realize how dependent he was on needing an Elemental Power. It was so ingrained in his mind that it became his one goal in the realm. But now he had convinced himself to live by a new set of standards.

A power was useful, but not necessary for him to survive the realm, nor the real world.

He was strong on his own. He had learned from people who cared about him. He would get back home, despite what got in his way.

He would visit his mother, if it was the last thing he did.

"What do we do now?" Finnegan asked, standing up weakly next to Zalan.

"I don't know. But it's going to be okay." Zalan smiled despite the noises surrounding them.

He was hit twice in the chest by successive wads of spider web. He bore it without hesitation, a fire in his heart. In fact, Zalan puffed his chest boldly. It didn't matter that he might die right then, because he would die trying. Like his mother would want.

He stepped forward and slashed his sword at the closest sounds. He hit nothing, instead feeling it become weighed down by another series of spider webs attached to it. He slashed again, undeterred by the overwhelming odds. Even as he was devoid of progress, he refused to back down. More webs attached to his abdomen.

Zalan could feel himself channeling Fran's ideology: To die trying. Even if he went out flailing like a maniac, it was better than waiting for death to come. Rep's sacrifice would not be in vain. Thinking of them both made Zalan feel like he was igniting in a flame of his own. He felt so strongly that he began to imagine the Depths of Despair light up with their joined flame, illuminating enough for him to see the spiders. He ducked to avoid a blob of web, feeling it whoosh by.

"What is that?" Finnegan asked in fear.

Evidently, the light Zalan saw brightening the mines was not in his head. The spiders backed off as the light increased. He wondered if he had somehow gained a Level without killing anything. The light coagulated into a single point just ahead of him. Zalan gasped and dropped his sword in shock. The form became clear, the arms opening wide and pointing to Zalan.

A Bright Elemental.

"You found the light. You have completed my challenge," the Elemental said with a respectful nod.

Zalan could hardly believe what he was seeing. Instinctively, he knew it was the same Bright Elemental that he met under the Island of Remains. The essence he felt radiating from it was a familiar eeriness. This was the creature that had been stalking him in the mines. The Bright Elemental had been following him, watching intently from the moment he entered the Depths of Despair. He was so sure that he would die fighting that he didn't imagine anything would appear to stop the battle. The last thing on his mind was the Bright Elemental reappearing in the Depths of Despair.

"I… I don't even know what I did," Zalan said as the Elemental held out a bright sleeve of its glowing robes.

In the darkness of Nightfall, in the darkness of the Depths of Despair, and in the darkness of his deep depression, Zalan found the light to live.