The Homeseeker: Elemental Adventurer LitRPG [Isekai] (Series Complete!)

Rep and Zalan sat across from one another at a fire Rep started with his Elemental Power. They were eating their evening meal as they remained in its warmth. Zalan listened to it crack with a mild jealousy. There was a time in which he could be useful with his own Elemental Lightning. At his Wisdom, he could probably set wood on fire, too. He used to be able to bring people back from the brink of death with an electric shock. Rep could still do amazing things like light up dark places and start fires from nothing. Zalan folded his hands into tight fists.

They had been traveling for days now, without much conversation between them. The path had gone from arid dryness, to a thin forest, to open, muddy plains. Zalan felt somewhat exposed where he sat, but had also not seen any monsters around despite their open visibility to the horizon. On the other hand, Zalan knew they walked a long time after sundown as well, at his insistence. There could have been monsters creeping to ambush them overnight.

Zalan could tell that Rep had long let go of the anger or frustrations he held toward Zalan earlier in their journey. He could feel the pity Rep had for him, even if Zalan refused to accept it.

Rep noticed how distant Zalan felt, both to him and the world. Half the time, Zalan dragged his feet and was often zoned out in thought. If Rep wasn't there ensuring he was putting one foot in front of the other, Rep considered that Zalan would lay down and remain still. He didn't know how best to react.

"We should be arriving in Nightfall by tomorrow. It will not be difficult to miss. It is always dark in the city, as though a curse was placed on it leaving it in perpetual fear of the sun," Rep said. "I will keep the first watch if you are fine with that."

Rep watched how stoic and glum Zalan seemed as he slowly chewed on his food. His silence was an assent to Rep's plan. Silence was his most common reply to Rep these days. A slight nod or a shrug might join, but usually silence was alone. Rep couldn't get a read on him like he normally felt he could. Something was brewing in his heart that Rep didn't like seeing. He forced a smile and tried to seem casual.

"Remember the Elemental Rage Tournament?" Rep asked, his smile turning genuine. "How far we made it despite it being our first tries. You never even competed in unarmed combat before."

Zalan stared quietly into the fire. His face danced in ever changing shadows, his eyes still.

"Do you remember how you made it to the finals? It was a splendid battle."

"Yeah, I remember," Zalan said as he bit bitterly into a piece of bread. "I only made it that far because I was trained by the same guy who only wanted my power. Hard to forget."

Rep bit the inside of his lip slightly. Ever since seeing him in person, Zalan only seemed to have Morloch on his mind. Rep knew how obsessive Zalan could be, and Morloch was the unhealthiest obsession yet. Rep thought harder, digging for more memories that Zalan would not associate with their former mentor. It was difficult to bring up exclusively enjoyable moments that Zalan wouldn't manage to bring down. Despite that, Rep tried again.

"Remember Captain Buttonwillow McKittrick? What a splendid fellow that man was to travel with. I can hardly think of him without a smile creeping onto my face. That man could perform every part of a stage play and I am sure I would be enamored by every word," Rep reminisced.

"That's because you didn't see him on the Island of Remains. You should have seen the way he looked when he lost his ship and crew. His eyes… it was like they lacked a soul. And, we abandoned him on the island," Zalan said monotonously.

Rep's smile turned flat. He rubbed his hands together and stared down in thought. Taking a long look at the fire, another thought came to mind.

"Remember how you killed an Elemental Dragon when you were only Level 3? Quite the feat of strength to be proud of. None of us thought we would succeed once we were locked inside with the creature," Rep admitted.

"It was only possible through Fran's death. Not exactly my favorite memory when one of our friends died," Zalan said.

Rep exhaled loudly and rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I being too sad for you?" Zalan asked sarcastically.

"You are being difficult," Rep acknowledged.

"What, was I supposed to laugh and have good times because you said a few things?" Zalan said resentfully.

"No, but I thought you would at least try to gain some levity," Rep said. "Are you deliberately denying yourself remembering anything good that has happened to you in the realm?"

"You're the one bringing up bad memories!"

"I am not!" Rep rejected. "You are twisting everything I say to make it negative. Rather than come up and out of your sour mood, you wish to bring me down to match it! Your misery wishes to have companions wallow in hardship with you. Gratitude, no matter how small, will benefit your well-being."

Blinking, Zalan recalled a conversation he had with Gorb long ago about gratitude. Zalan hated fighting with Rep, but he hated feeling on the defensive even more.

"You're making stuff up because things aren't going your way," Zalan said, annoyed.

"Fine, then prove me wrong. Name something good that has happened to you since you came into this realm," Rep said.

Zalan scoffed and turned away from him. He tried to think about it. To his surprise nothing came to mind. He frowned to himself and thought harder. All of the scenes of the past were shrouded in some sort of negative twist. Killing his first roach was a negative memory because that was when he began to realize how dangerous this world was. Getting his Elemental Lightning reminded him of losing his Elemental Lightning. Meeting new friends reminded him of those who passed away trying to help him on his various journeys. He tried to make it simpler and remember the last time he smiled. It was when Rep proposed to Junill. But even that memory was shrouded by the idea that Rep wanted to do it before he died in the Depths of Despair. No memory was solely one of joy.

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Zalan blinked to himself, stunned at his own mind.

"Any memory?" Rep followed up. He sounded somewhat desperate, like he wanted Zalan to prove him wrong. "The memory does not have to be tied to the realm."

Zalan thought harder. It felt like there was a block in his mind. He knew, logically, there was a time in which he was happy. But he couldn't readily draw any specific times, only knowing that it existed somewhere in his past. He frowned in frustration. He felt like this might be a time to cry, but of course no tears ever came. The pieces of him that were broken were increasing.

"There's nothing," Zalan said, his voice quiet.

Rep looked upon him with unease, his eyes watching closely.

"My life has improved since meeting you," Rep said sincerely.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Having a brother in my life has made me better."

"Like my misery brings you comfort that you could never feel this bad?"

"You are well aware that is not what I mean. You are something of a constant benefit in my life."

"I seriously doubt that. You're pretty well put together," Zalan said.

"If that is how you see me, then it is a well-built facade. Before we met, I could not fight anything larger than a Roach without panicking. Do you recall when we first met and we barely survived a Flamestriker? It was a pathetic attempt on my part after trying to bring you aid. Now, I can dive into tumultuous waters and place myself in front of a charging Poniwhale. I feel so much more ready to take on any challenge. That is in no small part thanks to you. You are a good friend."

"You would say that to anyone," Zalan said.

"No, definitely not. I have never traveled with anyone as long as I have with you. And I have never met someone from another world. I think neither of us expected it to take this long to get you back home. I would not say this to anyone because no one is like you," Rep persisted.

"You mean no one is as much of a damaged person you can work to fix," Zalan said gruffly.

Rep sighed again, hanging his head.

"Is this how you will act when you visit your mother?" Rep asked without raising his head.

Zalan grit his teeth. Rep went straight for his heart. He must have been more frustrated than he was letting on.

"It doesn't matter. It's not even looking like I'll be able to go back home again anyway," Zalan said.

"But what if you do? Do you not wish to return to a better mental state? How would she respond to your hostile attitude?" Rep said.

"She wouldn't react at all," Zalan said dismissively.

"You think because she loves you it would not affect her?" Rep asked.

"It won't. She won't care," Zalan said, an anger rising in his voice.

"After all the stories you have told me involving her, you think she would not care to know how you are feeling?" Rep urged.

"Shut up, Rep! You have no idea what you're talking about!" Zalan snapped.

"That is because every time I try to bring up your mother, you drive the conversation away!" Rep said. "At least answer me why? Did something happen between the two of you?"

"Nothing happened between us, I just never visited her okay?" Zalan said firmly.

"Never visited her where? Was there a reason you did not visit?" Rep said.

"No! Drop it, Rep," Zalan said.

"Dropping it has clearly not been productive to your well being," Rep insisted.

Zalan ran both of his hands through his hair, breathing loudly in frustration. He needed to snipe at Rep the same way he felt he was being interrogated. He looked up sharply.

"Then tell me about this inspiration thing! You talk around things that you know about me. You told me when we first met that you were 'inspired' to help me but never elaborated! How did you know about me being outside the town of Oriton when no one else did? How did you even know I wasn't from this realm? What's the real truth?" Zalan asked.

"You really wish to humiliate me? Fine! I will tell you everything there is to know! Every last sin I tried to hide. No more secrets. Tell me about your mother first."

"There's nothing to say," Zalan insisted angrily.

"I do not believe you," Rep said firmly.

Rep and Zalan jumped to their feet, staring daggers into one another. The sheer intensity in their stances made Zalan feel like he was getting ready for a fight. He couldn't stop shaking.

"I don't want to get into it," Zalan said, his hands forming a fist.

"You wish to hear my matters of confidence without indulging yours?" Rep asked, folding his arms.

"Shut up, Rep. Just keep your stupid secrets. I don't want to talk about any of it," Zalan said.

"Oh, yes! Let us go back to the way things have been!" Rep said sarcastically. He waved an arm up and down Zalan's body. "Look how much good it has done you to remain alone in your thoughts. You allow them to eat away at your mind and crush you from within!"

Rep's face turned from malice to concern.

"Let me know what pains you so that I may be able to help! Why suffer alone when talking may help?" Rep said affably.

"You think you can talk everyone into being happy and best friends, but life doesn't work that way, Rep! You're naive! No one can help me! No one! You get it? I have to live with the way I treated my mom and I don't want to, and you're the last person that's going to make anything better! Ever since I met you, my life's only gotten worse!" Zalan shouted.

Rep's face turned to an odd expression. Zalan thought he would look angry or hurt, but instead he looked somewhat fearful. Zalan stared angrily back, not willing to back down despite Rep's change in expression. Suddenly, Rep dove forward and tackled Zalan to the ground. Zalan shouted and grappled. Rep placed a hand over Zalan's mouth. Zalan fought back with a twist of his legs, getting on top and throwing a punch. He struck Rep's face.

"Zalan! Quiet! Stop moving! It is here!" Rep said in a ramble of pure fear. He was holding his hands up to block any more attacks.

"What are you talking about?" Zalan asked with a fist raised.

He realized that the fear he was seeing on Rep's face wasn't directed at him. He was staring upward at something off in the distance of the dark evening. Zalan squinted out in the same direction and blinked as he tried to get a better view. The campfire cracked, and both of them flinched.

"What is it, Rep? What are you…"

Rep placed a hand over Zalan's mouth. He pulled himself off the ground. Zalan frowned at the red mark forming on Rep's face, but his friend ignored him entirely. He pointed out with a shaky arm for Zalan to see. Zalan squinted once more, following the finger into this darkness then his heart dropped.

A giant bald, gray head with dimly lit white eyes was floating toward them. It had no mouth and exuded nothing but darkness and evil. It was the monster that both Rep and Zalan feared most in the realm.

The Mind of Madness was drifting in their direction, guided by the fire that Rep lit to keep them warm.