The Hero’s Brother Is Bound To Be Depressed

230 – Thinned

If Roel did not regress, then how did he come to place the sword on his forearm? It could have been a truly coincidental action, but considering that Rosalyn wrote that she had changed, the possibility of it being a coincidence was low.

I asked Ellie, who was still looking at me with worried eyes.

“Roel… “Have you ever felt like you changed or felt unfamiliar after becoming a sophomore?”

“My brother… ?”

In response to my question, Ellie frowned slightly, pondering.

“No, I haven’t felt like anything has changed since I enrolled. Roel oppa… “Because it was always perfect.”

The sight of Ellie speaking as if it were obvious stirred up my dormant sense of inferiority.

“It’s always perfect.”

I mumbled and scoffed, repeating what Ellie said.

“Have you ever been disappointed in Roel?”

Ellie shook her head quietly. She received my words with bitter eyes.

“There is no way you can be disappointed in Roel.”

I snorted without realizing it. Actually, would the heroine ever be disappointed in the perfect Roel? I clenched my molars without realizing it. This is not about relieving feelings of inferiority or anger. This is to confirm whether Roel is truly a collaborator. Let him ask only what he wants to ask.

“Since we entered the school, Roel has definitely changed from before. Think carefully. “There will be times when you say things you don’t normally say or things you don’t know.”

At my words, Ellie closed her eyes and thought deeply for a moment, but then opened her eyes.

“The only thing that has changed about Roel since we entered school is that he has become a transcendent. “The rest is the same as before I entered school.”

Rosalind also said that not much has changed. He searched through the records and only found one, but there was no clear evidence of regression. Maybe it’s my excitement. As she sighed at that thought, she heard Ellie murmur.

“Something was strange during winter vacation… .”

“Wait, what did you just say?”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders at my question. Her embarrassed expression was evident, as if she didn’t even know she was mumbling.

“No, it’s nothing.”

“I just said it. Something was strange during winter vacation. “Isn’t it related to Roel?”

Ellie, who had been chewing her lips in response to my interrogation, opened her mouth.

“Sometimes I get the feeling that Roel has changed drastically. But that was before Roel entered the academy as well.”

Ellie looked at the ceiling of the classroom, as if recalling a memory. Soon, eyes came down from the ceiling to me.

“The first time I felt… Yeah, that’s it. “The day you were unfairly scolded for pushing Rose off the mountain and hurting her.”

Ross has no memory of his past. So when I looked at her as if demanding an explanation, Ellie sighed for a moment. Ellie, with a somewhat bitter smile, began with an unexpected remark.

“I’ve been wearing a mask of sorts since my first memories.”

“mask… ?”

It was an introduction without context, but I decided to listen to Ellie’s serious expression.

“Ever since I was young, I’ve been able to roughly predict what people think. What should I do to like it, what is expected of me… I was able to find out with a high probability. I guess I was several times quicker to notice than others. So, I put on the mask of a charming and obedient child, like the daughter her parents dreamed of.”

Ellie raised her hand and stroked her cheek.

“No one noticed. When I smile calculatedly, when I lure others into a trap and smile on the inside. “Because I put on the mask of a thoroughly and completely good kid.”

Ellie, who was looking down at the floor, looked up and looked at me.

“The day I moved to town. I saw a child. Like me, he was popular with everyone in the village and was a good kid. The moment I first saw her, I knew it right away by her smile. ‘Oh, he’s wearing the same mask as me.’ “The smile she gave was close to the perfect calculated smile I had been trying to create.”

For a moment, I didn’t understand what Ellie said. Is it really right to talk about Roel? Roel, who always treats others with sincerity, smiled calculatingly… ? But she couldn’t have been mistaken about Ellie. The fact that she is quick to notice is similar to insight.

I asked in a calm voice.

“Did you really feel that way about Roel? “Isn’t that just what you wanted to think?”

Ellie smiled slightly bitterly at my suspicion.

“In a world full of idiots, it was the day I met the only sane person who acted stupid like me. It’s not like I modified my memory or had a delusion. “I even practiced in front of the mirror alone for a few days because I wanted to imitate Roel’s smile.”

Ellie smiled as she said that. It was a smile so perfectly beautiful and full of sincerity that you couldn’t even feel the tears she had shed earlier.

“But the day Rose got hurt and you were unfairly scolded. Roel was crying outside the house. At first, I thought he was crying helplessly outside because you were getting scolded by your parents. So, I went over to comfort him and saw him.”

Ellie raised both hands and cupped her cheeks.

“Shedding tears and being sad… Roel oppa was smiling. A very sad smile that I have never seen before. It’s enough to make the viewer feel sympathy and want to hug and comfort him… A truly sad smile. “That was the day I fell in love with Roel.”

My heart beats freely at Ellie’s words. I had the uneasy feeling that I was missing something most important. Why was Roel smiling? Did he secretly enjoy being scolded?

“I’ve seen Roel’s sad smile like that a few times since then. “On the day you attempted suicide, Roel always cried alone, avoiding the attention of others.”

I know this because I heard it from Ellie. Ellie saved Ross from trying to commit suicide several times.

“The last time you attempted suicide was during winter break. Roel watched you all night and disappeared to avoid other people’s eyes. I thought it was an opportunity, so I went to see Roel, who was swallowing his sadness alone, to comfort him. however… .”

Ellie trailed off. A look of concern appeared on her face. As I looked at her as if urging her to speak, Ellie sighed and spoke with a determined expression.

“Oppa Roel wasn’t crying. Just, he was in the middle of the snow field with an expressionless face, shaking off the ash from his hands with the snow falling from the sky.”

I frowned without realizing it.

“That’s what’s strange…” ? “Roel didn’t cry when I attempted suicide several times?”

Humans are animals of adaptation. Perhaps Roel has adapted to Ross’s frequent suicide attempts. Or maybe he just couldn’t feel sad anymore.

When I asked Ellie with that thought in mind, she shook her head loudly and said that was not the case.

“It’s not strange that you didn’t cry at all. When I called Roel… The moment we made eye contact, I felt like Roel was unfamiliar to me. Because you’ve never looked at me like that before… .”

I asked, feeling somewhat uneasy.

“… “What kind of eyes do you have?”

Ellie answered my question while looking directly at me.

“These are not the eyes full of comfort that you showed to your close younger brother… Full of longing and regret… Those eyes were filled with emotions that had never been shown to me. So it felt unfamiliar.”

For a moment, I felt an eerie feeling. She instinctively felt that something was amiss. She is missing something. There were clues listed, but I had no clue to connect them.

In my mind, things that would be explained if Roel were a regressor clash with things that could not be explained if he were a regressor. Can there be contradiction in a world where probability exists? Eliminating contradictions must be the nature of probability.

It’s full of questions. It wasn’t difficult to realize that it was impossible to solve this on my own.

I know that Roel is not an enemy that will threaten my life. But he had too many jarring contradictions to be considered an unexpected ally.

I had an instinctive feeling that if I acted rashly, I would make an irreversible mistake.

After gathering my thoughts, I spoke to Ellie.

“Thank you for telling me.”

After saying that, I tried to leave the classroom. But Ellie grabbed my arm, wondering if she had anything more to say.

“Ross… I’m so sorry. I know you won’t forgive me, but… Still, I wanted to apologize like this.”

At Ellie’s apology, I turned my head and made eye contact with her.

“You tried to kiss me who I don’t even remember?”

Ellie smiled sadly at my question.

“I thought you might get your memories back if you did something you despised.”

“That’s right, thanks to you, I was able to retrieve my memories because I felt uncomfortable and sick.”

At my words, Ellie’s obsidian-like eyes wavered for a moment.

“After all, I guess I’m the worst for you. “To the point where I want to forget my memories.”

I didn’t answer. Ellie swallowed her tears and nodded her head, then she asked me.

“Can I say hello next time?”

“No, I won’t remember you again. “The name and the face.”

When Ellie disappears from sight, the Blessing of Oblivion will be activated again. You won’t even remember this conversation.

Ellie, who was silent for a moment, raised her lips and forced a smile.

“I started liking you only after I lost you. So sorry. “I realized too late that I had done something wrong to you.”

I didn’t answer. Actually, I knew it.

That Ellie has changed. Even though I knew, I treated him harshly.

I didn’t mean to kiss someone I don’t remember. Ellie stopped before their lips touched. If they really wanted to kiss, it would have been enough time.

Because Ellie stopped right in front of me, I regained my memory and belatedly raised my hand to cover my mouth.

Yes, it’s too late.

Even if you realize your mistake and change, there are some things that cannot be undone. Our relationship is over.

The one holding on will only bleed. It’s just that I’m no longer the one shedding blood.

I said, pretending to be as blunt as possible.

“There’s no need to apologize. “I won’t even remember.”

Ellie said this with a relieved expression.

“thank god. I can safely tell you that I love you. “I will love you Ross.”

I don’t know what kind of expression I made when I heard that.

Ellie just looked at me for a moment, then passed me by and left the classroom without saying a word. She left behind a strong strawberry scent.

As the strawberry scent gradually disappeared and I realized that the blessing of oblivion was coming again, I realized that I had to leave a warning that Roel should not be trusted.

If I forget the conversation I had with Ellie, the questions in my head will also disappear. I had to be suspicious of Roel, a returner full of contradictions.

I hit the wall with my fist with all my might. Her flesh is torn and blood is flowing, but the tingling pain awakens her spirit. She desperately hit the wall with her fist to avoid forgetting Ellie, whom she so desperately wanted to forget.

To finally put an end to the question of whether Roel was really a regressor, I thought of a word that was also related to Ross’ death. So that she wouldn’t forget, she took her dagger from the space storage and carved the words into her forearm.

Memories of L■ disappear from my mind in an instant. We talked a little while ago, but now I can’t even remember their faces.

The strawberry scent that filled my nose gradually became lighter, leaving only a faint impression, and eventually disappeared.

Without leaving any trace.