The Heart System

We both laughed, the last of the awkward tension shaking loose between us… but only for a moment. After a few seconds, the room slipped back into silence. I eased into my chair again, let out a long breath, and nodded to myself like I was psyching up for a boss fight. I just wanted her to understand me, that was all.

"I'm honored that you feel that way for me, Mendy," I said finally. "You're a wonderful woman. Really. I'm lucky I met you. I kind of wish it happened under different circumstances, but… what's done is done, huh?"

"Yeah…" she murmured, tracing her finger around the rim of her glass.

"No hard feelings, right?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Honestly, I'm… relieved I finally got that off my chest."

"Thank you for saying it. Really."

And that's when it hit me like a guilt punch right to the ribs, I had listened to her confession plans while I was balls-deep in Kayla. I could've stopped. I didn't. And that made me feel like a jackass sitting across from her, pretending everything was fine.

"S-so…" Mendy's voice trembled slightly, her eyes searching mine for some kind of confirmation. "Are we still friends? Did I mess this whole thing up?"

I looked at her, my chest tightening. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. "Still friends," I said softly, trying to reassure her with a smile. "And no, Mendy. You didn't mess anything up. I'm… happy you said what you did. I really am."

Her lips parted, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks, and I saw the weight lift from her shoulders. "I'm… glad to hear that." She looked down, fiddling with her fingers. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I didn't want to make things weird."

I shook my head. "You didn't. You didn't make anything weird. Honestly, I'm just… glad you were honest with me."

Everything felt… nice.

But then it happened.

It was like everything stopped. The air seemed to freeze. I felt a shift, something deep within me. The sky outside, visible through the window, changed. It wasn't just the fading light of the evening; it was pink, almost surreal, as if reality had bent.

I stood up suddenly, my legs stiff. "What the hell…?"

Mendy remained frozen in place, her smile still intact, but her eyes weren't quite as bright now. Something was wrong, but before I could even process it, I heard footsteps. Not from her, but behind me.

I turned. Dierella stood there, her expression a mix of disbelief and fury, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. She was pissed, no doubt about it.

"Are you a fucking idiot, Evan?" Her voice was a hiss, sharp as a blade. "She's begging for you to fuck her. And you're sitting here doing nothing."

The words hit harder than they should have. "No," I said, my voice low, but firm. "It wouldn't be right. Not like this."

Dierella's eyes narrowed, her lips curling into a bitter sneer. "The fuck it won't," she spat. "Just fuck her and be done with it. This isn't some damn game, Marlowe."

I shook my head, the tension in my neck coiling tighter. "I'm not doing that." My jaw clenched. "She's at a vulnerable place right now. I'm not going to take advantage of that."

Dierella didn't even blink. She stepped closer, her voice lowering but still venomous. "She called you here, knowing damn well you're with Nala. She wore a dress for you, made this dinner for you—just you. What's the real problem? Why are you refusing her? You coward, stop tricking yourself."

I felt my chest tighten. She wasn't wrong about the dress, the dinner, the fact that Mendy had clearly set herself up for something… more. But this wasn't just about me. "Because it's not the right time," I said, my voice strained, almost pleading. "It's not the right way. It's not about me wanting her or not. It's about where we both are right now."

Dierella's laugh was dark. "Right," she sneered, eyes cold. "You really think she's just gonna wait around for that perfect fucking moment? That's not how this works, Evan. You either take her or leave her. But don't stand there pretending you're the fucking saint."

"I'm not a saint," I snapped back, frustration bubbling in my throat. "But I'm not going to be a dick either. I'm not going to hurt her like that."

"She's already hurting, you dumbass." Dierella shook her head, her lips curling in disbelief. "You're really this much of an idiot?" She turned on her heel, muttering under her breath as she stormed off. "Un-fucking-believable…"

I stood there, feeling the sting of her words, but before I could think it through, everything around me shifted again.

I was back at the dinner table. Mendy was smiling at me, her face warm, but now something in her eyes had changed. She looked almost… fragile. It hit me then—hard.

I was looking at her, and all I could see was the mess I'd caused. Richard's mess. My mess.

I didn't want to be the person who reminded her of what she'd been through, of that day when she nearly ended it all.

I thought I could be the good guy, the one who didn't take advantage of her, who stayed away because she was too vulnerable. But I wasn't being good. I was just scared. Scared that if I let myself feel something for her, it would only make everything worse.

I exhaled slowly, my heart heavy. "Mendy…" I said her name like it was the only thing I could say.

She looked at me, tilting her head slightly, her expression open but cautious. "Yeah?"

"If we had met before…" I stopped myself, swallowing hard. It was harder to say than I thought. "Before everything went to shit with Richard, before any of this… I think I would've—" I hesitated, the truth clawing its way to the surface. "I think I would've fallen for you."

Her eyes widened, and she went still for a moment, then flushed, her voice barely a whisper. "I… I think that would've made me really happy." She looked away, her hands fiddling with the hem of her dress. "But... it's not that simple now, is it?"

I shook my head, suddenly feeling all the weight of my words. "No, it's not." I let out a dry laugh, the sound bitter in my own ears. "I'm sorry I lied to you. I knew you were going to confess today. Kayla told me."

Her face shifted, the hurt there but not overwhelming. "Oh…" She swallowed, her voice trembling. "I thought…"

I couldn't let her twist in that. "I hoped you wouldn't," I said quickly. "Not because I didn't like you, but because when I look at you… I see myself. I see that day. The day you almost—" I stopped, my throat tight. "I can't look at you without remembering that. Without remembering how I failed you."

Mendy reached out, her fingers brushing mine across the table. "I forgive you," she said softly, her voice full of sincerity.

Her eyes softened as she held my hand, and for a long moment, neither of us spoke. Damn, this was awkward. I didn't know what to do with the tenderness she was offering.

I cleared my throat, trying to break the tension. "Ah, look at me rambling." I chuckled nervously, shaking my head. "The girls tell me I always act like some melancholic detective, always brooding and analyzing things. I think… I think they might be right."

Mendy raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a small, amused smile. "The… girls?" Her tone was lighter now, the air between us easing just a bit.

I froze for a moment, realizing where this could go. "Uh… well, you know..." I fumbled, rubbing the back of my neck. "The ones I…"

She tilted her head, her expression shifting into something between confusion and mild amusement. "The other girls that you mess around with?"

I gulped, her words catching me off guard. "Y-yeah…" I stammered. "I'm sorry."

Mendy chuckled softly, her lips curling into a small smile.

"Wait, what's funny?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Sorry, I'm just… a little on edge right now," she said, her voice light, but I could hear the tension in it.

"Oh." I nodded, not really sure what to say to that.

She sighed, leaning back slightly in her chair. "Please stop acting like an idiot, okay? I forgive you. End of story. Got it?"

I blinked, a little thrown off by how direct she was. "Well, I wish it was that easy."

She shot me a firm look, her eyes soft but serious. "It's that easy. I forgive you, Evan."

I couldn't help but smile, though it was more out of self-deprecation than anything else. "It's like telling a depressed person to stop being depressed and hoping it would work."

She raised an eyebrow, a half-smile tugging at her lips. "Well, it's not the same thing."

I gave a mock thoughtful hum, tapping my finger to my chin. "Hmm, well… it's kinda the same thing."

We both laughed, the moment of tension finally breaking. But it was brief, and as the laughter faded, something heavier lingered between us.

She looked at me then, her expression shifting to something more serious but still tinged with that quiet amusement.

"Would you…" she began, then stopped herself.

I leaned a little forward. "Hmm?"

"Nevermind."

"What is it?" I asked gently. "Come on, tell me."