NOVEL NEXT Chapter 29
I silently gazed at the Saint.
Even under the dim moonlight, I could see how different she looked from the first time I met her.
The first time I faced the Saint, she had appeared extremely haggard.
Her weary eyes, cracked fingertips, shabby clothes, and disheveled hair all clearly showed the tough years she had endured.
But… now it was different.
Her skin looked much healthier than before. Perhaps because she had been eating three proper meals a day, she had gained some weight compared to before.
Her once messy hair had been neatly combed at some point, and the stench that used to cling to her body was now masked by a faint floral fragrance.
It was clear that she was starting to pay more attention to her appearance, probably because she was aware of someone watching over her.
Unlike the past when she only wore crumpled or dirty clothes, lately she dressed in neatly maintained attire with a tidy appearance.
Even though she still had dark circles and looked somewhat tired, there was a new sense of vitality in her eyes.
When our eyes met, I saw a warmth in the Saint’s gaze that I couldn’t quite explain.
In the past, she would have looked away or bowed her head, but now she didn’t avoid my gaze. Instead, she held it a little longer.
Sometimes, her eyes crinkled in a loving smile.
“Even though she said the gaze of others is burdensome…”
However, the Saint before me now was different. There was always a sense of ease and subtle warmth in her gaze toward me.
…To the point where I was the one avoiding her eyes now.
It must be because she’s grown accustomed to having me around these past few weeks, but this was clearly different from when we first met.
A person who had once given up on everything was now beginning to reflect on herself again.
“…And this is how it should be, right?”
That frail person who had endured endless pain alone.
As a Death God responsible for resolving this situation, and as her only companion who has watched over her from close by,
No matter whether it’s because of me or not, if the Saint can change positively, I would willingly give everything I have.
But…
“…If this act defies fate, and furthermore, the order of the universe, what should I do?”
As a Death God, I knew that truth all too well. The moment I disrupt the balance set by the world, there will be consequences.
And those consequences will not be light.
If I were to bear them all on my own, I have the resolve to accept full responsibility.
“But if the responsibility falls on the Saint as well…”
Just thinking about it makes my heart drop. The Saint had already endured enough suffering.
I couldn’t burden her with any more pain or responsibility.
“But this is the only way to perfectly resolve this issue…”
Was the expression on my face revealing my thoughts again? The Saint’s eyes looking at me were filled with worry.
Then she urgently grabbed my hand.
“AH! Mr. Death is fine. I’ve been casting a protection spell on you every day!”
“…What?”
“I can somehow protect one person. Moreover, since Mr. Death gives me delicious food every day, my divine power has been recovering faster…”
The Saint added with a forced bright smile. Did she misunderstand and think I was worried about catching her illness?
More importantly, she had been casting that protection spell every day…
That’s why, around once a day,
Out of nowhere, whenever she grabbed my hand, the color drained from her face.
A deep sigh escaped me, realizing how ignorant she had been.
“…Saint.”
“Yes?”
“I’ve already told you before, but I’m a god so I don’t get sick.”
“…Even so, just in case.”
There was a faint sense of unease in her tone.
As I cautiously took her hand and forced a smile,
“Really, I’m fine, so you don’t need to do that anymore.”
“…”
“Even so, I must be pretty bad. I just realized how much unnecessary suffering the Saint went through for my sake.”
“Don’t say that.”
The Saint shook her head violently. Her gaze was resolute yet tender.
“I did it because I want Mr. Death to be safe. It’s not unnecessary suffering. It was what I wanted to do.”
“Saint…”
I could feel her sincerity in every word.
The fact that she had been using her divine power every day for me and pretending like nothing was wrong was palpable.
A dull ache spread through my chest.
While thinking how foolish she was, how exasperating it was that she wasted her efforts,
On the other hand, the fact that this fool was so worried about me, and cared for me this much, was somehow pleasing.
“Still, I want to be a fool. For your sake, for as foolish as you are.”
But I…
Even though I know my decision would free the Saint,
I couldn’t easily make that choice, worrying that it might cause her even more pain later,
And I was anxious enough to ask permission from the Saint who knew nothing.
“Saint.”
“Yes?”
I hesitated while looking directly at the Saint, then asked in a trembling voice.
“If I make a decision that makes things harder for the Saint, would you… resent me?”
“What?”
The Saint’s eyes widened in surprise at my unexpected question. Then she shook her head firmly and said resolutely.
“That will never happen.”
“But that pain might be incomparably greater than what you’re experiencing now.”
“I’m fine. No matter what decision Mr. Death makes, I will trust you. Just like I always have.”
I didn’t know what to say in response to the Saint’s resolute tone and unwavering gaze.
“Trust. Just like always.”
Why did those short words feel so heavy, yet so warm?
I bowed my head without saying anything.
Then the Saint firmly grabbed my hand and smiled warmly, looking at me with a steadfast gaze that seemed unshakable by anything in this world.
“Even if I were to suffer more, it’s fine. Mr. Death must have made that choice for my sake.”
“…”
“Mr. Death is one of the kindest people there is. There’s no way you would do something to harm me on purpose. Therefore, with that kindness alone, I can endure anything.”
The Saint’s words broke through my resolve.
Even as a Death God,
I felt infinitely inadequate before her trust and strength.
I slowly closed my eyes as her words continued to resonate, pressing down on me even heavier.
Is this the right choice?
Can I truly protect her?
The answer was still unclear.
But…
Perhaps I’ve gained some of her strength?
I made a firm decision within me.
For this world, for the Saint,
I’ll become a fool who only looks forward.
“Saint.”
“Yes?”
“What the Saint mentioned earlier, I can resolve that.”
The Saint tilted her head in confusion.
“Something I mentioned? What exactly can you resolve?”
“The disease. I can completely eliminate it.”
“…What?”
That’s right. My power is death.
The one who can declare the end for all living beings.
Erasing diseases completely isn’t a difficult task for me.
With just one gesture, I can eradicate pathogens and purify tainted lands.
I just need to pour out the power of death.
“…Moreover, I have a way to perfectly isolate and handle only the diseases.”
But…
Consequences will inevitably follow.
This isn’t simply about distributing food or helping and comforting the Saint.
What I’m about to do goes far beyond shaking the balance of the world’s order.
It’s not just simple help or support.
It’s about changing the fundamental order of this land.
The paradoxical act of preserving life as the god of death.
Eliminating diseases might alter someone’s fate. Those who should die might survive, affecting others’ lives.
The repercussions might not end with just one generation but could continue throughout all future times.
I could barely grasp how much it would disturb the balance.
The only thing certain is that the karmic retribution won’t be light.
But,
As the sole death that exists in this world, my judgment is…
“If no rest can be given, then providing ease until they find rest.”
Lady Bari, who gave me a new choice when I was demoted, said that.
“‘The first mission of the Death God is to help all living beings reach their end properly. As long as you fulfill this mission, no one can deny you as the Death God. Thus, you must bestow death upon those whose end has arrived.'”
And that death must be both an end and a rest.
She said that death, whether the life was virtuous or shameful, must be equal for all. And for those who carried great and small sufferings in life, it must take away all their pains.
That’s right.
Death is not just an end.
It’s a sanctuary that releases all suffering from life and a starting point.
‘This must be my role in this world.’
The path I’ve chosen as the Death God might go against the world’s order.
But if this is the only thing I can do for those who suffer endlessly without dying,
There’s no reason to hesitate.
I smiled and tightened my grip on the clasped hand.
“Shall we head back? Once that’s resolved, you can go outside, right?”
“…A, yes. Though…”
The Saint seemed momentarily taken aback by my unexpected determination, but soon understanding my resolve, she nodded.
“Yes. Alright.”
I took her hand again firmly.
To reaffirm my resolve as the sole death of this world.
For those who suffer endlessly without dying,
And for the Saint who has endlessly sacrificed in this world.
‘I will willingly defy the order of the universe.’
I walked alongside the Saint.
Under the moonlight, our long shadows followed us.
Though they were two people’s shadows, they overlapped as if they were one, walking together.