The Gloomy and Timid Princess Heads to the Academy

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The father I remember was a strong-willed person. He tackled everything with no hindrance, constantly checking with those around him, yet ultimately executing what he intended.

So— it doesn’t seem like it was my fault that I couldn’t respond properly to him. How could one say they don’t want to to someone who seems like they only know how to say “yes”?

His character was timid, and there was no justification to refuse him. More than anything, I could feel that he genuinely cared for me in the way he looked at me, so I couldn’t bring myself to say no.

Correcting my speech or critiquing my walk— to be frank, it was annoyingly bothersome, and there had been more than a few times when I wanted to give him a good slap across the face.

Still. I couldn’t tolerate touching Dokan. Even if most of my thoughts ended poorly, this time I didn’t want any interference.

So I spoke quite harshly… um. It seems that left a significant wound on my father’s heart.

The strong conqueror who only looked forward and my somewhat coercive yet gentle father had disappeared, leaving a weary and aged version sitting in front of me.

“…I’ve talked for a long time with your mother. She pointed out everything I had overlooked. Like how you’ve never smiled even once while I was teaching you, or the fact that I never asked you what you wanted…”

I had never seen such a weak side of him. Waking up every day at dawn to train and spending almost all his time on state affairs, my father, who would take short moments to socialize with me, was like a titan to me.

How could such a person look so pitiful just because his daughter spoke some unpleasant words?

“Yes. Father… no, Dad, you’ve always just done what you wanted. I had no choice but to go along with it. Just as you said, I always pretended to be a good child…”

My father would always pat my head and say I was a good child once the “training” was over. He would stroke my hair as if genuinely proud.

I had never been treated that way my entire life, so although it was unpleasant, I endured it, just to hear a few compliments.

My “real” parents had been very stingy with praise. They said that if they praised me for such trivial things, I’d become spoiled.

Those guys had really twisted my personality, but at least I’d gained abilities. As of now, I didn’t feel the urge to harm them.

“…I’m sorry. I forced my ideals upon you. For a parent to compel a child’s path… I’ve committed a terrible act.”

It was unpleasant, but seeing him self-deprecate like that was a bit hard to watch. I grabbed his hand that was hiding his face, wrinkled with age.

His face was half in tears, making it unviewable from both objective and subjective perspectives.

“It’s okay, Dad. It’s all in the past, and upon reflection, it really did help in the end. So, well, if the result is good, isn’t it fine regardless?”

Well, complaining won’t undo what’s already happened. After all, that “princess-like” demeanor definitely helped me meet Dokan. So it turned out to be a good thing after all.

“Do you think so…? A father can’t think so easily. This time, I vowed to do it without regret, yet looking back, the regrets pile up like mountains. In the end, did I only repeat foolish deeds…?”

Hmm. This side of Dad is somewhat hard to watch. It’s uncomfortable to see someone usually bursting with confidence wallowing in self-pity…? No, perhaps it’s sympathy I feel. Either way, it felt oddly unfit.

“…You’re not listening to me again. I’m fine, Dad. Except for the war and what Dokan almost did.”

I didn’t see the war myself, but it was said that he crushed enemies by using all manner of means. Well, I could accept that.

Did he ever think about how lonely I must have been being left behind? Of course, the gods and my mother were present. But those folks weren’t looking at things like I was, so when speaking, I always felt it was just me alone.

It felt like being a kindergarten kid among professors. They only adored me, but they wouldn’t let me join in the conversation, nor could I even manage to squeeze in if they’d let me.

“I… didn’t want you to have blood on your hands like me. If it must be done, it should end with my hands, in my time. Without asking your opinion, of course. But daughter, please understand this. War is not something you can pursue. I couldn’t allow my daughter to partake in such a vile act.”

“No, that’s not the issue. You left me behind. I was lonely.”

Did Dad think I would condemn what I had done during the war? He looked surprised, as if caught off guard by something he hadn’t considered.

Well, war is inherently cruel. Adding an extra spoon of cruelty won’t change anything, and the quicker it ends, the better it is.

So yeah, I wouldn’t complain about what he had done during the war. If we don’t kill them first, we’d surely be the ones dead; what’s there to hold back?

“…Was that what you found distasteful? Hmm… But I couldn’t take you with me. A battlefield is no place for a child.”

“I wanted to be by your side wherever I went.”

More precisely, by the side of a “person” like Dad. But it seemed he took my words literally and began to regain some spirit.

“…Ahem, I see. Please forgive this foolish father. Everything I did in the name of my daughter was stuff that my daughter would dislike. From now on, do as you wish. That… boy… haa.”

He seemed to be telling me to do as I liked with Dokan. But perhaps it was too hard for him to say it outright.

Feeling a bit of “fatherly love” was something I had never really experienced, yet now, I think I understand it a little. The thought of sending off your child must tear a heart apart… right?

“Do you still not approve?”

At this point, I thought he’d allow it. Not yet? Should I push harder? Just as I was seriously contemplating this, Dad seemed to make a decision, closing his eyes tightly and speaking resignedly.

“…Fine, do as you wish! But! Until the ceremony, don’t even think about sharing the same room!”

The condition Dad set was a no-sharing-a-room-before-the-wedding rule. I thought it wasn’t too difficult a request… but well, good things are good.

“Yes, Dad. So… Is there anything else to discuss?”

It’s not that I disliked spending time with Dad. It was just rather awkward. It had been far too long since we had an intimate chat in a single room like this.

“Yeah… I have no more to discuss with you. Now, son-in-law… ha. Right… I have to check what kind of mental state the boy who will soon be my son-in-law is in…”

It sounded like he was going to summon Dokan. Wouldn’t it be better if I was around? I had a strong animal instinct that violence was surely about to unfold.

…It would be a bit much to prevent that. Out of minimal consideration for Dad, I didn’t say not to touch Dokan. Of course, if it got too ridiculous, I’d revert to being a bad child again.

I figured Dad already knew this, so I didn’t feel the need to mention it.

“Um, should I go get Dokan then?”

“Yeah… please. And tell him what you learned while traveling with your mother.”

Ah, right. I should do that. I wasn’t too panicked since I did think of an answer. She was never one to scold me for saying silly things anyway.

“Yes. Then…”

I wondered what Dokan was up to right now.

– – –

“…So, wait a sec… you’re literally saying that after recording all the information, you’ll then corporealize the soul and absorb it into the energy lines, and reconstruct everything at the destination?”

“You’re quick to understand. You might have a knack for being a scholar.”

“But then…!”

“You want to say it’s no different from dying, right? You’re speaking like my student did. That kid thought so too. Then let me ask you this. If there’s a copy with the same memories, the same body, the same soul, consciousness, and personality as you, what would that be?”

“That… is me. But I’m not me.”

“That copy would also think of you that way. Even if one of the two were to vanish, ‘you’ would still exist. Do you understand? It’s not a big deal.”

Byeolbi was speaking as if she could see right through my mind, predicting my next words a step ahead. Yet, she didn’t mock me; she simply asked if I thought that way.

“…But the child loathed that method terribly. Just how much did they despise it that they crafted living beings that could fly and broke space to travel? Even though they were aware of the inefficiency. They received some weird treatment, but beings with strong intelligence sometimes struggle to blend in with others.

The reason that child left was because of what was attached to my beloved daughter’s spine. My students once tried to change all humans into beastkin using a principle similar to teleportation. They sought to improve the inefficient human body. But that child bridled against such intentions and led those opposed to me away. I’ve been waiting for my student’s answer: if humans can evolve while remaining human, with free will intact. But… it’s disappointing.”

As I listened to the unearthing backstory I hadn’t wanted to know about Ganaan with one ear and let it flow out the other, I struggled to ponder if I really was me and whether Ho-yeon knew about this fact.

“…Does everyone know this truth…?”

“Indeed. Everyone knows. They just don’t care. There’s no energy to waste on things that aren’t immediately important. When we pass over the sea of stars later. Whether they will know then remains to be seen. But by then, I won’t be there to answer.”

The fact that it’s not of much consequence— I didn’t even have time to think about it, but Byeolbi’s assertion that she wouldn’t be there by then felt strange.

It’s not like she wouldn’t go with me; she’ll simply not exist?

“Why will you not be there? Are you going to die?”

“Similar. I’ll be removed by the main body. Fortunately, I may be the only one to be removed. What are you looking at me like that for? It’s not something you need to be concerned about. The main body will arrive when you and your child have died. ”

…So there really was a main body. And for some reason, the main body wants to get rid of that fragment.

What a being that could obliterate the Earth just with its fragments— what kind of existence would the main body be?

Is it going to shoot a beam and destroy the solar system?

As the scale of the absurdity grew overwhelmingly larger, my sense of reality started to fade.

“…You must know that I’ve already read what kind of deeds you might pursue, right?”

“Indeed. Someone on your side accidentally opened a passageway connecting to this side, so anyone who is drawn in through that passage would naturally know me.”

Just because of that one slender basis of having read it, they could pull someone over dimensions. Ha, I was insane for ever thinking I’d challenge something like this.

“…If that ‘main body’ is so omnipotent, why does it not remove you immediately?”

Instead of answering, Byeolbi conjured water in mid-air and floated a piece of wood on it.

I was now used to the breaking of common sense, so as I wondered what she was trying to do, she plunged her hand into the water. In a very swift and rough manner, she moved her hand toward the piece of wood.

Of course, the piece of wood was drenched and sank down.

“First, it looks like I haven’t ‘done’ anything yet, and secondly, if I came flying that quickly, as you’ve just seen, the waves of magic would cover the planet and kill everything. Did that answer your question?”

I see— if they could come, they would, but since that would also end up killing the observation target, they wouldn’t do that. They said that the main body’s duty is to observe.

“…So, you’re saying that’s because they cannot see us right now?”

“Correct. And you won’t be caught by the main body once you leave this location. I’m making a special effort to hide you.”

“…This is my final question. What do you intend to do with the land of Ganaan… the west?”

“That would depend on my daughter’s answer.”

Even if I have no means to act in this society, I might still be able to stop the war. It isn’t particularly because I sympathize with Ganaan’s ideology or for some grand cause.

I just truly dislike the thought of people I know getting hurt or killed.

“…Let’s leave soon. It seems my daughter is looking for us.”