The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

The colorful street was stained bright red, as if covered in blood.

Would the world look like this if I wore red cellophane glasses?

Everywhere, piles of gray concrete that had collapsed, vibrant signs hanging thickly from the buildings, and the lush green trees growing as if they didn’t need human care—everything had lost its true color, transformed into a sight reminiscent of human blood.

Step, step.

[“………………”]

And on that blood-soaked street, I was walking alone.

As I reined in my feet that seemed to want to move off to places that had nothing to do with my will, I took steps toward my destination.

Sometimes the street looked divided into dozens of paths as if seen through a kaleidoscope, and the edge of my vision would darken like spilled ink, making it hard to even know where I stood, but that didn’t pose much problem for me.

My two legs knew best where I had to go.

I knew best what I had to do, and that was not up to anyone but me.

So long as my soul remained.

So long as this soul, engraved with the journey of all my lives, didn’t leave my body.

Thud.

[“………■?”]

I could return to the side of those I loved.

Whoooosh, a hot summer breeze blew in.

As I moved my feet, houses with familiar appearances passed by me, and from the aching legs, I could sense I had just crossed a narrow alley I knew well.

This house was definitely Yuha’s, who was in the same class.

This alleyway was where we all gathered to play after school.

This small tree was the little apple sapling we planted together on Arbor Day.

This car. This sign. This fence and streetlight.

This place, this place───

[“…………”]

With each step, I remembered.

With each step, I reminisced.

As I walked down the road, I would sometimes encounter a few zombies heading in the opposite direction.

Perhaps since there was no one around observing them, they had no need to hide their abnormalities.

Dozens of zombies marched in a long line, walking in the same way that was almost nauseating to see, heading somewhere.

The fact that they were moving collectively toward a certain place must mean there were survivors still miraculously lingering there.

Then surely, that strange command that recently felt like it was guiding my steps the wrong way meant it was actually leading me there.

But alas, I’m afraid I have my own tasks to attend to.

Thud.

[‘…….■■,■■■.’]

A few of them cast me questioning looks, puzzled by my presence moving in the opposite direction, but seemingly deciding it wasn’t a big deal, they didn’t attempt to stop me.

They stopped briefly, one casting me a glance with eyes oozing strange fluids, perhaps due to infection, before continuing on their way.

Their bodies, stained as if covered in mold, were remnants of once-human forms.

How to describe their appearance?

Yes.

It felt like a spontaneous thought that they were pitiful, that kind of appearance.

I had a strong desire to save them, like a chimney smoke rising, but I knew I didn’t have much time left.

Thus, the only thing I could do was bow my head slightly and hope that someone would come along to save them in their future.

[“………….”]

I had to go.

To my home, not just anywhere.

After passing several houses and alleys, I found myself reaching a place my body remembered after many detours.

The house with a bright, vivid blue roof, reminiscent of the sea, surrounded by beautiful stone walls.

As I lifted my gaze, the scene of the house that looked exactly like the one in my memories came into view.

Whoooosh.

[“……■, ■■■.”]

But the house where I had played with my family long ago had faded long ago.

All that was left for me was a single bizarre, eerie house, tainted with blood and misshapen.

The scenes I once hoped for, the memories I wished to see were nowhere to be found.

But that was okay.

If I could remember every life I had lived, hundreds of times.

Then, I could recall the color of every brick, where the paint had worn off on the gate, what trees were planted and what their leaves looked like.

[“■■, ■■….”]

I would overlay all those past things onto the present.

Now, perhaps realizing it was time to give up, or maybe because the presence they desired wasn’t inside, or perhaps for both reasons—there wasn’t a single zombie around that house I arrived at.

Except for a warped iron gate that looked like it had been slammed multiple times, and bits of debris scattered around as if to dirty the ground, I might have thought that a normal day had returned.

Whether that would come in the future, who knows.

…..

But if I know the ones I care for, they would be able to chase after the light and move forward even in such a despairing situation.

Burning more brightly than anyone else, they would become a torch illuminating the way in a pitch-black desert.

And happiness is not something to be made or received; it is already given to them.

They would surely uncover the hidden happiness around them.

Because I believe in them.

They were far too beautiful to be bound to a foolish being like me.

Shiver.

[“……………”]

With trembling hands, I reached into the mailbox beside me.

Even such a simple task felt like it took ages, as if I’d just removed a cast after a long time.

With the sensation of something being grasped, I pulled my hand out.

In my hand, there was a set of keys with a cute keychain.

My mother used to tell me with a smile, “If you lose a key, open this place to grab a spare key.”

She had said it resembled me, attaching a white bunny doll she had somehow saved to that keychain.

Right.

[“……….──”]

It was definitely white, that bunny doll.

But in my distorted vision, the doll that should be boasting its white fur was nowhere to be found, replaced by one that was twisted and ominously dyed in red.

Since it was inside the mailbox, it wouldn’t really be like that, so it must be an illusion of my eyes.

She used to say it resembled me, but did it have to look like this too?

But, whatever.

Smirk.

[“─■히.”]

Maybe it was truly just like that, just as she said.

A half-hearted smile crept onto my lips.

Click, clack.

Knowing that if I dropped the key on the floor, I wouldn’t be able to pick it up in my current state, I focused all my effort into carefully picking up that tiny key.

With stiff joints and a hand that didn’t want to obey, I forced it into a proper position to grasp the key.

I slowly started inserting the key with the twisted cat doll attached into the lock.

Thud, thud. The trembling key couldn’t find the hole and wandered aimlessly.

Well, obviously.

With my shaking hands, blurred vision, and the discomfort still swirling in my mind, plugging a cord into a plug in the dark would feel a hundred times easier.

Thud.

[“……..!”]

Still, I didn’t stop my futile attempts.

If I got too high near the hole, then next, I’d go lower.

If I veered off too much to the side, then I’d go even further to the side next time.

It didn’t matter how many times I failed or nearly dropped the key.

Each time, I adjusted my grip on the key and rechecked with my eyes where the keyhole was.

[“………..”]

A mere failure couldn’t overcome my determination.

And after dozens of attempts.

Click.

[“……■.”]

With a sound, barely audible as “click,” the door that had been firmly closed slowly began to open, accompanied by a creaking sound from the un-oiled hinges.

[“……….”]

It’s a bit bright.

As the door opened, sunlight shined in through the gap, spilling onto me who had just emerged from the shadows.

Feeling pain as if my eyes were burning from the brightness, I looked confidently ahead.

On my face was a smile, my gaze directed upward.

The familiar sounds of chaos and hurriedness I had started hearing the moment I attempted to insert the key flooded back to me.

Surely, in this moment, they were waiting for me.

So, with my eyelids heavy and struggling to keep them open.

I forced my eyes wide as I looked into that place──

Thud.

“……Heeah, is that you?”

“…….Huh?”

Three figures gazed at me with a mixed expression of shock and astonishment, faces seemingly devoid of souls.

As I observed their continued absurdity that hadn’t changed over time, my smile grew a little wider.

I spoke.

No. I opened my mouth.

Hi# Unnies.

It’s# good# to# see# you# again.

#I,# am# really# happy.

“───────?!”

“Oh…aaah…..!!!”

Their eyes widened more than at any moment before.

In those deep, black jewel-like eyes of theirs, the worn and torn flesh of a girl whose muscles were exposed by deep wounds reflected back.

Just like the appearances of the zombies I had beheld moments ago.

No, there was no need for any doubt; it was a zombie through and through.

Creak, creak, the girl opened the door with unnatural movements, and the three women with sticks dropped their weapons to the floor, faces completely aghast.

Crack, thud.

“……No, this isn’t it…”

The three sticks fell helplessly to the ground.

And looking at their shocked state,

the girl with the small, gleaming eyes smiled.

[“……Hee■.”]

A very chilling smile spread across her face.

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