NOVEL NEXT Ch. 1
As the crow flies, I fell.
I'm someone who's pretty good at self-objectification. So I'm also well aware that I'm falling right now—and just how absurd this whole situation is.
'Is this about nine stories up?'
I'm plummeting from quite a height, but strangely, my mind is calm.
Maybe my brain simply can't cope with something so unrealistic.
What actually bothers me more is my clothes.
I'm only wearing a bit of rag that barely passes for underwear. There's nothing like outerwear at all.
Only now do I realize. This isn't my body. My original skin wasn't this bronze.
So then, whose body is this?
*〈You are a member of the Red Wolf Tribe.〉
At that moment, a string of words started flickering through my mind.
*〈Having just begun the Barbarian coming-of-age ceremony, you must retrieve the Mark of Trial located atop the dungeon.〉
Barbarian?
What is this even talking about? As I struggle to understand, the font style of the message seems oddly familiar.
*〈By the traditions of the Red Wolf Tribe, your god is fixed as the god of blood and revelry, 'Thrag'.〉
Thrag.
That word makes it clear. This text is identical to what I'd seen in 《Dungeon God》.
* 〈Then, we look forward to your life in this world.〉
With those words, the text vanished completely. All I could see now was the approaching ground and trees.
Only now did the reality of my fall crawl across my skin.
"Uwaaaaaaah!"
* * *
A crumbly sensation covered my entire body. Something's passing in and out of my mouth, and as I spit it out, a whole mess of twigs and leaves tumble free.
Am I alive?
I twist around and get to my feet. Looking at the ground, it's covered in leaves, twigs, and underbrush.
These must have served as my mattress.
This time, I look up at where I'd fallen from.
A high cliff. Looks like I fell from there, and... somehow survived.
'What on earth happened?'
Sitting cross-legged at the spot I landed, I start to organize my thoughts.
Why am I in the world of 《Dungeon God》?
Now that my racing heart is starting to calm down, events from my past life begin to surface.
'Is this the afterlife?'
I was hit by a truck. Maybe I was miraculously saved and my life is flashing before my eyes, but that seems unlikely.
'If I recall, it was a 5-ton truck.'
I'd be a goner. Being alive would honestly be a problem.
'Did I die and get reborn in the world of Dungeon God?'
I've read enough web novels to know what "truck-kun reincarnation" means.
The odd thing is, protagonists who get 'truck-kun'd' always have some kind of sign or catalyst.
Let's think.
Among the web novels I've read, what usually triggered the "truck-kun" trope?
'Did I send a lengthy feedback email—about 5,000 characters—to the game company?'
Yes.
'Did I give them a one-star rating?'
Yes.
'Did I pick a fight online with the admins and mock the developer?'
Yes.
After beating them silly, I even took a picture and shamed them on the community forums.
But honestly, sharing that on the forums wasn't wrong. If anything, a real "player" ought to have given that feedback.
At the time, the balance of 《Dungeon God》 was just completely busted.
One of the classes in the game, 'Necromancer', could tear through every other class, so obviously I had to say something.
'The class itself is strong, but the god the Necromancer worships... its authority is just way too OP.'
I close my eyes for a moment and recall then. "The class and god are both broken", I'd said. What did the devs reply?
「Thank you sincerely for your valuable feedback. Your opinion will greatly help us improve our service.」
I thought it was just a macro, but it wasn't.
「We, too, are deeply concerned about the current status of the Necromancer class.
However, we never realized the synergy between class and faith was so overwhelmingly superior.
With that, we have one request for you, dear player.」
Up to here, I remember it clearly.
「As you suggested, could you prove that the Necromancer remains strong even with an unhelpful god?」
Was that a QA request? Well, for the longevity of 《Dungeon God》! I agreed to it.
'Unbelievable.'
I guess I did provide every reason for a truck-kun isekai, didn't I?
Really, I did just about everything.
So now what?
I uncross my legs and get to my feet. There's a prickling sensation running up my legs, which only serves to emphasize that I'm alive.
From the text I saw earlier, this place is a dungeon. It also said this is where the 'Barbarian coming-of-age ceremony' takes place.
I guess my first task should be to get through this ritual. Otherwise, I probably can't escape this dungeon at all.
* 〈The god of blood and revelry, thrag, is watching you.〉
Oh.
So faith-related messages pop up like this.
The game 《Dungeon God》 was all about "gods" as the title suggests. If you believed in one, you could wield their "blessings" or powers.
Among them, thrag is a god who greatly helps with 'melee combat'.
The perfect god for a Barbarian, if you think about it.
* 〈Thrag despises you.〉
Huh?
* 〈Thrag sincerely hopes for your death.〉
What the hell is this? Wasn't Thrag obsessed with all things "Barbarian"?
I am a Barbarian right now. Not only that, I'm a Barbarian about to finish the coming-of-age ceremony and enter the world. You're supposed to love that!
Wait a minute.
I recalled my previous conversation.
「As you suggested, could you prove that the Necromancer remains strong even with an unhelpful god?」
No way... As anxiety suddenly flared up within me, I tried to open my status window.
It appeared.
"Demitane Elbar"
Necromancer
Thrag's Underling (Lv. 1)
『Authority』
Short Tongue
Mighty Bones
『Traits』
Summon Skeleton [1]
Curse Mastery [1]
'That bastard admin!'
So this is how he chooses to get revenge for losing a "character deletion showdown" to me?! I nearly cursed aloud, speechless.
'A Necromancer with Thrag as their god!?'
Not just the Necromancer—any "ranged character" that picks Thrag as their god is in for disaster.
Because this insane god rejects any actions that aren't 'melee combat'.
Not only that, even learning anything related to "ranged combat" is something he abhors.
* 〈Thrag rejects you, a Necromancer.〉
If he denies me due to the fact that I'm a Necromancer, there's literally nothing I can do.
Just as I was about to spit out a curse, another message appeared.
* 〈Thrag sends an apostle to kill you.〉
I raised my head—and something began to approach, pushing aside the branches.
When I swallowed in response to the presence, a terrifyingly imposing figure appeared.
A helmet made of bone and an axe stained with bright red blood. Clutching it, glowing with crimson eyes, was a Barbarian.
-------------= Clacky's Corner -------------=
Gyat damn, the self-awareness is killing me...
Author-nim just listed the common tropes that gets you isekai'd by Truck-kun...
I'm dead...
【ദ്ദി(⩌ᴗ⩌)】