The Gate of Shadows

Clutching onto the hand that had imprisoned me, I felt my head tilt downward toward the cold, unforgiving floor. At that moment, I realized it was my chance to break free from him, the only opportunity I had to erase all traces of him from my life.

If I had seized that moment, everything would have been much easier. Alone and yearning, I longed for something more than I currently possessed. 

“It...” I trailed off, shaking my head.

The weight of everyone's gaze bearing down on me felt suffocating. In the secluded alley, the only presence with me was the wolf boys, and the absence of the usual bustling pedestrians from the main street made the situation even more daunting. I felt the pressure become too much to bear.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I was startled when Fenris gently took hold of my cheek, guiding my gaze to his piercing amber eyes.

“It what?” he asked, tilting his head. 

With a firm grasp, I jerked his hand away from my face, determined to finish my sentence. Despite feeling unworthy of his touch, I knew I wouldn't be let go until I responded to the curious gaze of the young silver Lycan, who appeared intrigued by me.

“It looked like fun,” "I mumbled softly, my insides feeling empty.

The realization that they possessed something I could never attain pained me deeply. I was unsure whether my expression or voice had provoked a reaction in Fenris, but his eyes narrowed as he rose. He then reached for my hand, gently tugging me up.

“What are you doing?” the yellow-haired boy questioned Fenris. 

The silver wolf insisted on pulling me along with him.

“She’ll join us for today,” he answered, making my heart stop. 

What?!

He was relentlessly determined to bring me back to the store, pulling me along. For weeks, I had observed him and his companions, feeling we inhabited entirely different worlds. The street stretched out between us like an impassable chasm.

The warm sunlight beckoned him to pull me onto the forbidden street, where our worlds collided with unstoppable force. This should have been the end of everything, the point where I should have been sent to Cerberus, as Ezra had suggested.

The silver-haired boy gestured for me to sit next to him, taking the time to introduce everyone. First, Fenris introduced himself, followed by the sharp brown-haired boy, Liam. Then, the easy-going yellow-haired wolf, Owen, and finally, the slightly annoyed grey-haired Ezra.

Everyone took their turn introducing themselves when all eyes turned to me, waiting for my name to roll off my tongue. But I hesitated, my words catching in my throat, unlike everyone else's smooth introductions.

Why can’t they just let me go? 

Fenris sensed my hesitation and gently placed his hand on my head, offering a comforting gesture before revealing his hand of cards. Once again, his unexpected action took me by surprise.

Isn’t he going to press me for it? 

“You don’t know how to play, right?” His voice was warm and welcoming.

I raised my head, orbs flickering, before gazing down at the solid, polished wooden table, shaking my head in disbelief.

This can’t be true... There has to be an ulterior motive.  

This wolf couldn’t be this naïve and pleasant to a stranger like me. One thing the sisters beat into me was never to trust the wolves or anyone other than the coven itself. 

“Ezra, sit down. Let’s show her how it’s done. Or are you scared that a girl’s joining us?” Fenris deliberately challenged the grey-haired wolf, who was already jumpy.

The adults had made sure to instill in him the knowledge of the dangers posed by witches. However, the other boys seemed comfortable around me. Ezra, on the other hand, harbored prejudice towards me.

“N-no!” Ezra stumbled, taking out his cards from a pouch. 

Liam sat beside Fenris while Ezra positioned himself on the opposite side with Owen. The silver-haired boy politely asked Liam to shuffle his deck. In a show of comfort and support, he held onto my hand, reassuring me that there was no need for me to flee.

Although, in truth, it would’ve been of little help even if I had tried to escape. He would catch me again with ease. 

Are you testing me?  

I couldn't quite discern his expression, but how he held my hand was so delicate that a comforting warmth surged through my entire body. It marked the first occasion someone other than my mother had touched me in such a tender manner.

Gentle, but why? You don’t know me.

Fenris would only let go of my hand to play his cards. With each passing turn, he meticulously narrated his every move, providing a detailed explanation of his actions and the overarching goal of the game, which was to triumph over every menacing monster card.

The game allowed players to draw prize cards until all six were claimed. A player had to defeat six monster cards and collect all the prize cards to win. Fenris took the time to explain each move to ensure that I understood the game.

Even though it meant Ezra knew what he was planning, the gentleness swayed me in ways I thought impossible. Back then, I was only ten years old. I had little concept of love other than what I felt for my mother. 

In the depths of my being, a delightful tingling sensation would surge through me every time I was in the presence of Fenris. Even observing him from a distance, I could feel this inexplicable and wondrous feeling blossoming. I couldn't comprehend it, nor did I desire to, yet it was undeniably beautiful.

After the intense match ended, Ezra emerged triumphant. Instead of concentrating on winning and catching his opponent off guard, Fenris spent the entire time explaining the unfolding events to me.

Despite this, the grey wolf didn't miss the chance to boast at his friend, who shrugged it off nonchalantly. Liam and Owen took turns while Fenris, Ezra, and I watched intently. With each match that ended, I delved deeper into the intricacies of the card game, observing their subtle reactions as one outplayed the other.

The suppressed curses and muttered frustrations elicited a slight giggle from me. My unexpected outburst caught everyone's attention, bringing me to a sudden halt. Although I was content just observing them play, Fenris unexpectedly seized Liam’s deck and passed it to me.

“Play one with me.” He challenged me, putting me in the spotlight. 

Is it because I giggled? A punishment?

 

“N-no... I-I...” I stumbled, turning my gaze away. 

The silver wolf sighed before standing up and taking the chair before me. It caused my eyes to shift towards him again.

“Please?” His pleading expression caused my heart to skip a beat, leaving me feeling flustered.

The intensity of the wolf’s gaze felt almost illegal, peering directly into the depths of my soul. I stole a glance at Liam, hoping for some guidance.

He smiled, nodding, “Shuffle them.”

I awkwardly attempted to pick them up, careful not to let them fall to the ground. It was a small miracle that they didn't, considering my hands were still trembling. It wasn't the familiar sense of apprehension that I was accustomed to. Instead, this feeling was something entirely novel and unfamiliar.

Excitement…

I had observed these boys playing without their awareness for weeks, never once considering that I could join in. The idea of being in their presence was overwhelming.

“Just take your time reading what each card does. If you don’t know, you can ask Liam. I’m sure he’ll help you out.” Fenris winked at his friend, triggering him to chuckle.

My heart pounded as I watched intently, determined not to miss a single move. After hours of observation, I grasped the mechanics of the game. However, I was acutely aware of my lack of experience in strategically playing, an essential skill for success.

When I raised my eyes from the cards in my hand, I locked myself in Fenris's intense stare. Not once did he divert his gaze to his cards during our game. It was as if he was studying me instead.

It dawned on me that the true purpose of our card game wasn’t simply to win. Fenris was helping me come out of my shell. This eventually led to him allowing me to win my first match. While most people would be happy with a victory, I wasn't.

Ezra made fun of Fenris for being beaten by a girl. The experience left a lingering sense of bitterness within me.

Why did you let me win? Are you testing me? It has to be!

Questions bombarded me when I glanced away from him.

“Why did you let me win?” I muttered, clenching my fists.

I desired no sympathy.

“I didn’t let you. You won fair and square,” Fenris responded with a bold lie.

For weeks, I had been closely observing him. His friends consistently struggled to win against him. With my limited experience, I…

“Liar! I’ve seen you play! Being beaten by someone like me! It’s not possible for you!” I huffed, puffing my cheeks. 

I didn't require his kindness, even though it filled me with mixed feelings.

“Are you angry?” he questioned, tapping the table. 

I clicked my tongue, averting my gaze from the silver wolf. Despite not feeling outright fear, my body trembled with an unidentifiable emotion. The other boys stayed quiet as Fenris unexpectedly rose and sat beside me.

“Finally! All I’ve seen you do today is shy and hesitant. It seems you can get out if you want to. Well, if angry enough, at least.” he chuckled, triggering me to glance at him, flustered by his intentions. 

Why are you like this? It’s too bright. Your smile…