The Game of Life

Of course, slicing vegetables can be a performance item.

If Jiang Feng could blindfold himself and swiftly slice cucumbers into raincoat-like thinness or carve radish skins as translucent as those in

“Little Chinese Chef,” not to mention performing for the elderly, he could even scrape together a solid five minutes of solo screen time on a variety show. However, Jiang Feng would like to keep his left hand company into his old age.

Jiang Feng was confident he could slice vegetables blindfolded.

But as to whether he would cut his hand, or how many fingers he might sever, and whether he would be lucky enough to encounter a Doctor Ling while being rushed to the hospital, Jiang Feng had no assurance.

So Jiang Feng chose to carve radish flowers.

To fool primary schoolers, surely it’s best to cater to their tastes.

Radishes are great, aren’t they? There’s a variety of species, they’re cheap, come in red, white, and purple, and the key is they’re sizable and malleable. It’s quite easy to not only carve radish flowers but also to sculpt little rabbits and chicks, and even Peppa Pig if you really wanted. If the little creatures didn’t mind the color, Minions weren’t out of the question either.

Jiang Feng thought that if he truly ran out of ways to make money, carving and selling radishes outside Morning Wind Primary School would be a fine business.

The student council staffer went off to find radishes for Jiang Feng. After the initial surprise, he became quite receptive to Jiang Feng’s performance of radish carving. After all, the program list included someone eating a hamburger in one bite, so compared to that guy, Jiang Feng’s act was quite normal.

Jiang Feng blissfully took a seat in the middle of the fifth row.

He had just inquired and found out that the front four rows were reserved for the elderly, school leadership, and student parents. The fifth row wasn’t bad either; Jiang Feng chose for himself a spot with a clear view and soft chairs, and most importantly, at this distance, with Jiang Feng’s eyesight, he could clearly see the faces of the young ladies on stage.

Last time, after great difficulty, he had snatched a ticket to the Music and Dance Academy’s performance from Ji Yue, but he could only discern the color of the skirts the dancing young ladies wore.

All he could see were several dancing red mosaics on the stage.

The more he said, the sadder it became.

Jiang Feng blissfully sat in the unoccupied audience seats.

Sitting in the audience, playing with his phone, a student council staffer even brought two big boxes of radishes over. You’ve got to admit those student council staffers are tough, nearly sweeping clean the storeroom of radishes, not sparing a single one.

The performance started at three in the afternoon.

To Jiang Feng’s left sat the vice president of the student council, and to his right, the head of the sports department. Those unaware might even assume Jiang Feng was the student council president.

As for the real student council president, he was just sent to the school infirmary with a headful of bumps, thanks to his puzzlement over why the box of radishes needed to be on the shelf and his attempt to move it, only to be pummeled by the tumbling radishes.

The performance wasn’t much to watch.

Jiang Feng even felt a bit disappointed.

Aside from the dance by the pretty young lady and the somewhat impressive solo burger-eating guy, the rest were either singing or performing skits whose content was elusive, with songs ranging from revolutionary tunes to nursery rhymes.

Jiang Feng’s act was scheduled last, not with any ulterior motive, but simply because if he ended up shaving radish peels all over the floor, it would be a mess to clean up.

When the student council staffer informed Jiang Feng he could get ready backstage, a girl on stage was singing and dancing at the same time, to

“Little Jumping Frog” no less.

The off-tune singing might make Little Jumping Frog cry.

The knife and cutting board were all set, the off-tune girl finished her act dripping with sweat, panting heavily as she stepped off the stage. Then the host took the stage to announce the next act.

The students below were fed up already.

The elderly were still gracefully clapping, but the primary schoolers were already fidgety and wanting to leave the boring show.

Keeping them here to watch such dull performances must be tough on these sub-ten-year-olds.

Seeing that a seemingly interesting act was finally up, the children burst into unprecedented warm applause.

Jiang Feng felt flattered by the reception, and then he pulled out a

“Heartwarming Beautiful Radish.”

Carving radish flowers is a project that sounds fabulous, looks fabulous in process, and results in an even more fabulous outcome. You don’t need to say anything; just carve quietly, look skilled, casual, and cool—that’s enough.

In just a few minutes, a beautiful Rose bloomed in Jiang Feng’s hands.

"Wow!”

The crowd burst into admiration, followed by an overwhelming roar of applause.

Jiang Feng picked up the microphone on the table and asked,

“Next, I’m going to carve a little animal, what would you kids like?”

The audience immediately erupted into fervor, with a short-haired little girl in the sixth row leaping up from her chair and screaming, eager to be heard before all the other kids,

“Peppa!”

"George!”

"Suzy!!”

"Teletubbies!”

Even from the first row, a Sir with childlike innocence roared with great vigor,

“Monkey King.”

Jiang Feng:…

Why did he have to run his mouth when he could’ve just carved something himself? Now everyone’s calling out for those vacuum-cleaner-shaped pigs, and they are not easy to carve.

In the end, Jiang Feng ignored everyone, pretended he hadn’t heard a thing, and hurriedly carved a cute rabbit, then took his leave.

He feared that if he stayed a moment longer, some child would rush up on stage demanding that he carve Peppa Pig.

Jiang Feng hadn’t expected to be stopped by a parent as soon as he stepped off the stage.

The one who stopped him was the mother of the short-haired girl who was the first to shout for Peppa Pig. Since Jiang Feng’s act was the last, it was normal for everyone to start leaving as the performance had come to an end.

Without even pausing to grab her Hermes bag on her seat, the short-haired girl’s mother rushed to the front of the stage to catch Jiang Feng exiting from backstage.

"Uhm, could I buy the rabbit you just carved?” the parent asked.

"Mom, I want Peppa Pig,” the girl reiterated, following closely behind.

Parent:…

"That student, could you please carve a Peppa Pig for my daughter?” the parent asked, feeling embarrassed herself. She had watched quite a few episodes of that character that looks like a hairdryer, its weird shape, certainly making it difficult to carve.

"One hundred apiece, what do you think?” the parent didn’t care about the money at all just to make her daughter happy.

Jiang Feng almost stumbled and couldn’t keep his balance.

What’s going on today? Parents from Morning Wind Primary School seemed to be throwing money at him.

"Two hundred, I want George!” a chubby kid chipped in eagerly.

Jiang Feng didn’t take it seriously—it’s normal for kids to randomly shout out prices.

The next second, the chubby kid took out his phone, opened Alipay,

“Brother, can you do a transfer through Alipay? My WeChat doesn’t have any money.”

His actions were very practiced.

Jiang Feng was stunned on the spot.

Hearing that they could actually use money to buy, the rest of the kids began to holler out various figures, causing a disturbance to the market’s average price.

"Five hundred, I want Peppa too!”

"Six hundred, I want Totoro!”

"Eight hundred, Suzy, I want Suzy!”

"One thousand, Minion, I want the one with glasses!”

"One thousand one…”

The group of kids even started to outdo each other.

As the price was about to reach two thousand, Jiang Feng could soon become the legendary big shot who makes thousands in minutes and face the fate of deceiving minors into legal trouble. Resisting the temptation, he remained true to his original motives.

"One hundred for one, one by one.”

The girl with short hair happily got her Peppa Pig, and Jiang Feng even gave away the first carved radish flower to her mother.

Carving Peppa Pigs was entirely a matter of practice. Initially, Jiang Feng took ten minutes to carve one because of its weird hairdryer-like shape, but once he got the hang of it, it took him only three to five minutes. Later when Wu Minqi also joined in to help, they worked even faster.

After more than two hours, Jiang Feng’s Alipay balance successfully reached five figures. Nearly every student from Morning Wind Primary School had a pig, and there was an especially charitable youngster who bought all four for his family.

Jiang Feng and Wu Minqi even gave every senior a Zhu Bajie.

The Monkey King was too difficult to carve, but Zhu Bajie was enough to make these seniors beam with joy, lovingly holding them in their hands.

In the end, Jiang Feng prepared to split the earnings with Wu Minqi.

A lot of Georges were carved by Wu Minqi. It was already quite unkind of him to trick Wu Minqi into working as a free chef in his store. To hog all the ill-gotten gains for himself would be too much.

"I’m already satisfied with practicing on radishes. No need to share the money with me; I’m not short of it,” said Wu Minqi, who genuinely didn’t care about the sum of over ten thousand,

“but Jiang Feng, I notice you might be a bit short on cash?”

"My family recently took on some debt,” Jiang Feng said.

Not much, just a mere three billion and a few million in renovation costs.

Jiang Feng silently bragged to himself.

"Do you need me to lend you some?” In just one day, Wu Minqi and Jiang Feng’s relationship had made significant strides. Wu Minqi already saw Jiang Feng as a friend who could match her in culinary skills. She wouldn’t want financial issues to hinder his cooking practice.

“I heard your family borrowed a substantial amount to open the store. Though I don’t have much, lending you a hundred thousand or so for an emergency is no problem.”

Jiang Feng was a little startled by Wu Minqi’s generosity. They were just members of the same club, and now suddenly, they were good friends who could lend each other large sums of money. He was not used to it.

"No need, no need at all, my family is doing well, it’s not that exaggerated,” Jiang Feng insisted.

With over thirty thousand earned today, and a renovation shortfall of just over three million, all he had to do was continue to con elementary students at Morning Wind Primary School’s gates for a hundred more days.

Then, the day he’d get arrested wouldn’t be far off.

The UAL University group boarded the bus to head back.

Except for Liu Qian, who had been slacking the entire time, the others were exhausted, each spread out and collapsed on their seats, barely showing signs of life with their breaths.

"Jiang Feng, hey, Jiang Feng,” the girl sitting behind him poked his arm.

"What’s up?” Jiang Feng turned back to ask.

"Um, I wanted to ask, could you make that radish flower a bit cheaper? One hundred is a bit expensive. How about 25 for a classmate?” The girl behind him looked at Jiang Feng with hopeful eyes.

Jiang Feng:…

Sister, do you know how many radishes can be bought and carved for 25 yuan?

"Yeah, yeah, Jiang Feng, give us a discount for being classmates. I want one too, I want a Minion,” the girl next to the questioning girl brightened up and chimed in.

Jiang Feng:…

Seeing Jiang Feng silent, the girl wanting the Minion thought he was unwilling and took a step back,

“I know the Minion is a bit difficult, 35, how about 35?”

Jiang Feng:…

"Alright… alright,” after being bombarded with cash all day, Jiang Feng was even getting used to it.

Indeed, the easiest money to earn is from women and children..