Chapter 34: Basque - Wants
Basque sighed and pushed his head against the back of the door. He knew he was doing the right thing, but it hurt to see how much that hurt Reianna.
Natt came up behind him and rubbed his back. "You're doing the best you can. She'll understand one day."
"If she doesn't completely hate me before then…"
His excuse about the lack of sheets was mostly true. What he had left out was that there were no sheets because Sophia refused to get any; she didn't believe in redemption. She wanted them to give Banca over to Krill. He didn't have time to think through the situation and panicked, pushing too much onto Reianna. He should have thought of another option. But he also didn't trust Banca with any of the other students. If she tried something, he didn't think they could fend her off.
"Come on," Natt said and pulled Basque's hand, trying to draw him away from the door.
Basque didn't budge; rather, he put his hand on the doorknob. He was putting too much on Reianna. She was so mature. She was such a natural leader. She was only a child.
"Basque…"
His lips trembled. "I can't help but fear that I've destroyed my relationship with her." He slammed his fist into the door. He wished it were Krill's face.
That Yani-bastard had the gall to do what he did, then thank Basque for unwittingly playing a part in it. All Basque did was try to keep his students alive. If only Krill hadn't—no, Krill might have been a root cause, but Basque still had to own up to his own choices.
A girl he loved dearly, as if she were his own daughter, asked him to put her above his principles, and he told her no. That was on him, not Krill. He'd gotten into bed with a Yani, and now he was waking up to the scars.
For a third time, Natt pulled him away from the door, and this time, he allowed himself to be taken away.
He hated himself. But he'd done it again. He'd made a deal with a monster and promised he'd raise Banca as a hunter—a hunter who wouldn't seek Krill out for revenge.
There was only one person who could help him with that, and she understandably despised Banca. He couldn't ask Reianna to help, but he had to.
Seeing Banca, speaking with Banca, Basque knew the girl was truly repentant. It wasn't an act, the way she clung to Reianna, the defeat in her voice. The last half a year, culminating in the death and destruction of everything she'd known, had fundamentally changed the girl.
Natt lay him down in bed and covered him before climbing over him and snuggling up to him. "Get out of your head."
"I can't."
"You're doing the right thing. I've known Banca since she was a small child. What you are thinking about her, what you are feeling, I feel it, too."
Basque wiped the tear away from his eye. "But that doesn't make my betrayal of Reianna feel any lighter."
Natt kissed his eye, forcing him to close it. "Sleep," she told him.
He didn't sleep. He couldn't. His insides and mind churned all night, but no solutions came to him. Banca needed help. Reianna needed Banca gone. The choice should be simple: Reianna.
But Banca was also just a child. She had done vicious, horrible, malicious things to Reianna. In turn, she'd had those things done to her. He was a teacher. She was a student. A student striving to make up for the horrors she'd done.
Cayelyn. He was going to need to rely on her. Reianna was the key to integrating Banca into the class, but acquiescing to allowing Banca to stay with Reianna for the night had shown him that he was being unfair to Reianna and had overestimated her maturity.
It was wrong to expect anyone to be that mature. If Basque had to spend the night with Krill, he didn't trust himself not to kill the man in his sleep.
At some point, Basque did sleep for an hour, maybe two, but was up before the students left for their morning training. As she wasn't part of the class yet, and her status was still up in the air, he needed to make sure Banca didn't follow Reianna.
The lilac-haired girl was treating Reianna like her lifeline. That would be too much for Reianna. Until his silver-haired student could tolerate Banca's presence, he needed to force the former noble to keep her distance.
Sure enough, Banca followed Reianna and Fawna out of their room, like a baby chick following its mother hen. She wore her normal uniform, still. It was probably the only clothes she had left.
The hall went silent.
"What the Yani is that thing doing here?" Taraia asked. The lime-haired girl wove her way through the other students and shoved Banca away from Reianna. Banca fell to the floor. "Stay away from Reianna!"
"Taraia."
Her head whipped towards Basque. Her face turned to stone. "You knew. You heartless bastard."
Basque kept the sting of her words from showing on his face.
Taraia grabbed Reianna's hand. "Come on, Rei. It smells like Yani-shit in here." Using her large frame, Taraia shoved into Basque as she led Reianna past him. He allowed himself to be moved out of the way.
The rest of the class looked at Banca and Basque. Their confusion was palpable. Dmi shook her head. "I didn't know you were like this." When she followed after Taraia and Reianna, the rest of the class followed, leaving Basque and Banca alone in the classroom.
His class needed this. Banca was a symbol, no, the symbol of the nobles and their oppression. He would give them their moment, then he would be their teacher again. Once Banca was officially part of the class, he couldn't be their father, their friend. He had to be their teacher.
I am like this, Dmi.
Basque extended his hand to help Banca up, but she looked at it, then picked herself up off the floor and straightened her skirt. Glancing at his hand and seeing it empty, he dropped it to his side.
"Come with me, Banca."
She followed him to his audience room, and he pointed to a chair. She sat.
Turning towards the servants' entrance, Basque called out, "Yesenia."
His maid appeared out of the wall. "Yes, Master Gerenet?"
"I need Sophia in here. Now."
Yesenia bowed and left. Basque sat on the sofa, and the two of them sat in silence.
"Morning, Basq—" Natt said as she came out of their bedroom, but fell silent when she saw Banca. Walking around the sofa, Natt slid onto it and pulled her feet up, leaving her slippers on the floor. She leaned into the armrest away from Basque and stared into Banca's eyes. Banca returned the look with the same scowl Basque was sure was on his own face.
"Did you sleep at all?"
Even though she didn't look at him, Basque knew she was talking to him, not Banca. His annoyance at Sophia overrode his appreciation of Natt's concern. "A bit."
"Have you had breakfast yet?"
"No."
"The other students go train?"
"Yes."
Natt nodded. She stared at Banca a bit longer.
Basque didn't know what Natt was looking for from the girl.
"You've not said anything about my eye," Natt finally said.
"What should I say?"
"How do I look?"
"I don't remember you being this vain."
"Well, I did lose a nickname. Unless you plan on calling me Biclopse now."
The hardness fell out of Banca's eyes, and her gaze fell to the floor. Her voice was a whisper. "I'm happy for you, Natt."
The room went back into silence until Sophia knocked on the door and entered the room with Yesenia in tow. "You wished to see me, Master Basque?"
Stolen novel; please report.
Basque looked at his one-time maid and supposed radical revolutionary. A flash of heat ran through him. "Yesenia, you may leave," he said with more bite than he intended.
She bowed and left. The girl had come a long way. She no longer looked at Sophia for confirmation and moved at Basque's first command. Her growth lightened Basque's mood. Slightly.
"Last night, I let you have your temper tantrum. It's over now. Banca needs new uniforms, new training outfits, and accommodations."
Sophia looked Banca in the eyes. "I refuse."
Basque stood and walked to stand between the maid and the student. "This isn't something you can refuse."
"And yet I do."
He stared at Sophia. She met his gaze.
"That girl is in Class A. She has already been assigned everything; she received her uniforms and accommodations. She should return to those things there."
"By the end of the day, she will be a Class E student. She will need them."
"It's not the end of the day."
"Are you willing to end our relationship over this, Sophia? Are you willing to have any help I could be for your goals destroyed because you can't help a child in need?"
"She is not a child. I saw what she did to Miss Reianna with my own eyes. That is a Yani in children's clothing."
"No, she is a symptom. She is a product of what this country produces. More than that, she is a human child in need. Replacing one class of people with another, yet changing nothing between them, how grand can your rev—?"
Sophia's face went white. "Don't!"
"I believe that a society is only as good as how it treats its least fortunate. Sophia, do you want to live in a fair society, or just a society where you are at the perceived top?"
Sophia stood silent. As the silence dragged on, Basque watched Sophia, waiting for her response. At last, she nodded. "I'll have the materials she needs prepared, Master Gerenet."
"Give her the empty room next to Yesenia."
"Oh? So all of your strays can be in one place?"
Basque's hand curled into a fist. "Strays? What would you have done with Yesenia? If you want to know the biggest difference between you and Natt, it's that she sees a world of equality. You see the world flipped."
"Will that be all, Master Gerenet?"
Even though she was annoyed and putting distance between them by using his family name over his given name, Basque wasn't bothered. She needed to hear what he said. She needed someone to challenge her beliefs. Desire for change was good; it just needed to be a positive change.
"Yes. I'll send word to you once Banca has officially become one of my students."
Sophia nodded, not bowed, and left. Basque let out a sigh and went back to the sofa. Natt's warm smile made him feel better about the interaction. He'd just woken up, yet he already had a headache.
Slouching down into the cushions, he looked at Natt. "What do we do from here?"
Natt didn't look at him. Her eyes never left Banca. "Did you see that?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Do you know it took all my strength to keep him from charging upstairs and killing Julvie after he found out what you did to Reianna?"
Banca looked up.
"Do you understand what he is giving up for you?"
"I never asked him to!"
"You didn't have to. He does it because he cares."
Banca flew out of her seat. "No! Because he's weak!"
Natt stood as well. "Banca, caring isn't a weakness."
"Yes, it is! You cared, and look what happened to you! You fell. You abandoned me!"
Natt reached a hand out to the girl while covering her heart with the other one. "Banca, I…"
"Daddy told me! Caring for all those commoners left you weak. You let yourself be betrayed, and then you left me!" Banca squeezed her fists by her side.
"Your father wouldn't let me train you anymore. I wanted to go back." She swung her extended hand wide.
Tears rolled down Banca's cheeks. She shook her head. "No. No. You just cared more about those Yani-forsaken commoners than you did me."
"Banca—"
"No! I don't care anymore, Natt." Banca's voice calmed and became flat. "Nothing good comes from caring. Just like Daddy taught me."
Natt's hands fell to her sides, and her cheeks were wet as well. "I…I need to go get changed so I can go get Billiam. I'll…"
Turning, Natt ran to the bathroom. Both Banca and Basque watched her go. Once Natt disappeared, Banca sat back down. She smoothed her clothes, then sat with her hands clasped over her knees, which she pressed together. After she straightened her back, if he hadn't known she was a living, breathing girl, he would have thought she was a statue. Only the heat radiating from her eyes made her seem human, rather than doll-like.
The tears stopped, but she continued to stare at the bathroom door. The previous night, Natt said she knew Banca as a child. The relationship was deeper than she'd let on. Basque's heart twinged. This was another relationship Natt had played off as shallower than it actually was.
Why didn't she trust him with her past?
Basque wanted to chase after Natt. He wanted to hold her and comfort her like she had with him the night before, when he was devastated by Reianna, but he couldn't. How could he when a broken girl was sitting with him? A girl who believed that no one cared about her. As much as he loved Natt, she was an adult. He had to trust her to figure it out on her own. He needed to let Banca know that people did and would care.
"You'll be safe in Class E," he offered.
Her head rotated to him, and with a blank expression that could rival Reianna's, she said, "As long as I don't die, I don't care about safety." Her voice was cold.
Basque grimaced. That wasn't the angle. He could tell he wasn't going to get to Banca that morning. She was still raw and wounded. But she was also still a danger to his class. He'd made another bargain with Krill and needed to figure out how hard it would be to maintain it.
"Do you want revenge on Krill?"
Banca blinked. "For what?"
"For what he did."
"You mean what the two of you did?"
Basque flinched. "I'm sorry. I didn't know things would end up like this."
Banca's gaze didn't drift from him. He wished she would blink more, fidget more, just do something besides stare into him. After a long silence, Banca said, "I don't really care."
There it was again. That word. "That's sad."
Banca shrugged. "My father would be proud. The only thing he cared about was the family name. Look where that got him."
"What about your mother?"
Banca's face darkened. "My mother went back to her family estate after my third brother was born. I was three at the time. That's how much she cared for me. She couldn't handle that my father wanted more children faster than she could produce them. She cared for my father and cared that he had mistresses. But didn't care about me enough to stay. I never saw her again, and she died fighting Yani when I was six."
"What about your brothers?"
She laughed. "All my brothers had different mothers, and I didn't particularly care for them."
"Your brothers or their mothers?"
"Why not both? Only Sevastian and Fifi cared about me."
"What about your father? He jumped into the arena when you lost. The whole trial with Reianna…"
"He spent years touting me up. It wasn't me he cared about, but my reputation. I was, to quote him, his key to getting an archduchy."
"I'm sorry."
She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. "Why?"
"That you've had the life you've had. I hope you are able to find joy in the rest of it."
"Thanks? I guess?"
"What do you want out of life?"
Banca blinked. "I don't understand. I told you yesterday that I'm going to be a hunter."
Leaning forward, Basque collapsed his hands together. "Yes, I remember. But that's not what I asked. What do you want?"
She shook her head. "I still don't understand."
"Okay, so, the rest of Class E will also graduate and be hunters, but that's not the end of their lives. Reianna wants to give her parents a bakery near the school. Jan wants to let his father retire. Cayelyn…she's obsessed with going to Hianbru."
Banca's eyes went wide. "I…can leave here? Can I go to Hianbru?"
Basque shook his head. "No. We're not allowed to bring any Kruamian's back with us."
"What about Natt?"
Basque shook his head. "No, I can't bring her with me."
"Does she know this?"
Basque nodded.
"What if you have a kid?"
He paused. "To be honest, I don't know."
"Well, I do. Natt would tear you apart if you tried to take her kid with you."
He nodded. "I can see that."
"Thank you for fixing her eye."
Basque blinked. As much as she professed she didn't care, Basque felt his chest tighten when she said those words. She did care, even if she refused to admit it to herself. "So, what do you want with your life?"
"I don't know. I understand what you mean, now, but I've never thought about it. My father wanted me to challenge for the seat of the queen. I kind of always thought that's all there was to life."
"It's okay not to know. Almost half of Class E doesn't. If you ever decide what it is, will you let me know?"
She nodded. "And if there was ever a chance for me to go to Hianbru, would you take me?"
He held out his hand. "It's a deal."
Banca looked at his hand. "Why are you so obsessed with touching me?"
Pulling his hand back, Basque smiled. "Sorry. I didn't know it would make you uncomfortable. In Hianbru, when we make an agreement, we shake our hands on it, and in the hallway, I was just trying to help you up."
"Oh."
A knock came from the servants' door. "Come in," Basque said.
Yesenia came in, followed by a girl with slate blue hair.
"Oh, Belinia, you're alive," Banca said to the new girl.
"Yes. Head Maid Sophia hid me in the laundry room. Thank you for your concern."
"I wasn't concerned. It was just a statement of fact."
Belinia nodded and kept her eyes on the floor. "Miss Banca, if you would, I will guide you to your new room. We have it set up for you."
"Is it next to Miss Reianna's?"
"No, miss."
Standing, Banca shrugged. "It would have been nice, but being in the same dorm hall with her will be enough."
As Banca followed her maid out of his room, Basque called to her, "Welcome to Class E, Miss Banca."
She paused at his door and looked at him. "Thank you," she said and left. Again, that little hint of sincerity in her words made Basque's heart feel more at ease.
Once the door closed, he jumped off the couch. Hidden in his bathroom was another woman who needed his help.
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