The Endless Solvent

The answer came to her one morning.

It was the morning neither Tassik nor Nari came to her, so she wandered into the village by herself. There was a commotion near one of the houses and when Aris was close enough, she could see Nari holding a newborn Munna, smiling at other Munna congratulating her and giving her gifts. Tassik stood by her side, looking happier than Aris had ever seen him.

In her mind, it was like one of those rune puzzles that Gardlo liked to give out, all she had to do was fill in the missing areas with runes that fit. A part of her disliked the idea: a part of her that sounded distinctly like Camaz. She reminded herself she was no longer part of that world anymore. She was no academic, no student, no Gaian nobility. Even if it hurt her, Doran’s words made it crystal clear what she needed to do. Perhaps she should be grateful for it.

She drew the enchanting circle right outside her little house in a small clearing of the forest. It was difficult finding a large enough clear area, but she managed to partially clean off enough dead leaves and rocks to reveal a mostly flat, dirt ground. The kind of calmness Tassik taught her the day she saw the Moon Iron flowers overcame her as she drew the enchantment. It was the same kind of technical detachment that soothed her, but here it wasn’t about planting flowers and making clothing, it was about rune theory. It was the etching, the lines, the angles.

When she reached the end, the part of her mind that sounded like Camaz begged her to stop. It begged her to think about what she was doing, begged for her to do the right thing. But Aris was tired of doing the right thing when it was simply right for everybody but herself.

There was no right thing.

She forced herself to finish the enchanting circle. It took her much longer than intended as she kept checking to see if any Munna were around to watch her. They all seemed to have a good grasp on runeology, and so chances are they would know what the enchantment would be for. She had to keep it hidden, unactivated until she needed it.

However she remembered the runes clearly. It was as if her hand drew them out automatically, like the runes were begging to be released into the world. She had developed the spell after much trial and error back at the Academy while keeping it hidden from Camaz. Of course, he ended up finding out about it in the end, but she was able to do what she needed to do.

Aris remembered the ecstasy of getting the spell just right, the thrill of feeling it work. She also remembered having to kill the Shade so that she could absorb its small Solute at the right time. It made no sound and simply dissipated into the air, but the waves it made in the Solvent was enough to make her sick. She recalled the other Shades recoiling from her when she did it - since then she hadn’t seen another shade again.

Camaz thought she paid no attention to runeology lessons. She was beyond what Gardlo had to teach her. Aris didn’t go to his classes because she didn’t need to, but of course none of those self-centered assholes would ever believe that. Every professor thought their lectures were gold.

That night after she finished drawing, she slept fitfully on her sleeping mat in her hut. She was concerned about someone finding it before she could use it, so she had several dreams about a Munna reprimanding her about it. Aris tossed and turned on the mat, keen to not agonize over it. She needed to think about something else.

She fell asleep again, only to hear crying. At first it sounded like a child, but as she wandered closer she heard the sound deepening. A man was crying. Aris blinked and saw that she was in the pine forests near Caelis castle, the little patch where she and Ral used to play in. Snow crunched beneath her feet as she wandered between the trees, confused.

The crying grew louder as she walked towards a particular tree. She looked up and saw the figure of a grown man sitting on a branch but back leaning against the trunk of the tree.

“Ral?” she called out.

The man looked down, a heavily bearded face framed by a shock of red hair. Except she couldn’t see his face properly, it was just a blur. Suddenly he’s falling down from the tree and Aris tried to reach him but she felt she couldn’t close the distance between them even as she ran. He hit the ground and the snow suddenly all disappeared and a group of strangers appeared around him. None of them had any features, just blurred figures with arms and legs.

They were all so angry, all jeering and hitting him. It grew more and more violent, a few kicking the man’s ribs until Aris could hear them break. The man doubled over, red hair falling over his face. He looked up at one of the blurry strangers and said something, voice cracking.

“Ral, please, what happened?” she pleaded. She was certain the red haired man was her brother. He couldn’t hear her. She turned again and found herself standing in the middle of her enchanting circle.

Ral stood at the edge, looking around. His body language seemed confused. “Aris?” she heard a deep male voice ask.

“Brother,” she said, trying to reach him, but she was rooted to the spot.

“Aris, what happened?” Ral didn’t seem to notice her standing there as his figure with the blurred face looked around wildly. “What are you doing?”

For a long time, she didn’t know what to say. There were too many things she wanted him to know. But ‘seeing’ him again, even if it was a dream, made her remember the vow she made as a child many years ago. They were in a cave escaping assassins with Nilda and Rask. All four of them were cold, hungry and frightened. She didn’t know it back then, but everything that mattered was in that cave.

“I’m going to make it right again,” she called out to her brother, not knowing if he could hear her. “I promise, Ralos. I’ll make it right for us. I’m going to take back what’s ours.”

“Aris, why do you hurt?” Her brother’s voice sounded pained, as if he could feel something she couldn’t. It was strange that he was asking her that - it must mean he couldn’t hear her. No matter, she would still keep her vow.

She woke up way before dusk broke.

The Munna could see her in her Shade form, but there had been no evidence they could catch her. Previously, while she stayed in Shade form, Doran had to be the one to force her out of it. To them, she was a lyssiin, a ghost. She switched to Shade form and crept into the village. There were guards posted in the entrances, but she was able to pass through walls and solid foliage at a distance where they wouldn’t notice her. Everyone else in the village was asleep. She kept to the walls in case any early risers happened to be wandering the pathways. Going through solid walls and barriers made it much easier to reach where Nari lived. Like a ghost, she floated in the dark room.

For a long time she just watched Tassik sleep next to his partner. The baby was in a cradle next to their mat, swaddled in cloth.

How dare this man lecture her about calmness and acceptance when he has everything. That was all Aris could think about, staring at the sleeping form of the man she thought she could like. Silently, coldly, she picked up the sleeping newborn baby and shrouded herself and the infant and left the village. It took more effort to have the baby in shade form with her, so she was slower in exiting the village. But she made it to the clearing and she set the baby down, letting it sleep as she cleared out the leaves and branches hiding her enchanting circle.

She made last minute runes and checks. It was at last perfect. Aris sat down in the middle of it with the baby sleeping quietly on her lap and waited.

Honestly, she thought it would all come crashing through the trees in one loud confrontation, like everyone would just immediately suspect her and find her. But instead she heard the faint hushed tones on Yscian and distant movements of people searching for something. She even heard Nari call out.

The sun came out. The sky was clear that day. Unfortunately, she had hoped the sun wouldn’t see what she was going to do. Surely her brother would understand. She put the baby on the cold dirt ground and activated the enchanting circle; it woke and started crying. Focusing, she kept a hand hovering over the crying baby and waited for the Munna to gather around her small clearing.

“Lyssiin,” she heard Tassik’s voice. How dare he call her that. She lowered her hand onto the small warm body of the baby.

“Tell the Part to come out,” she said. “Doran. Tell him to come here.”

“What are you doing, lyssiin?”

“If you call me that one more time, I’ll kill your baby,” Aris spat.

Nari burst through the trees to grip Tassik’s arm. Her eyes were wide with fear and she sobbed when she saw where her baby was. The other Munna gathered all started speaking at once, their words sounding alarmed and angry.

“Bring me your Ulkyssa,” Aris shouted over the noise. She gestured at the ground in front of her amid the enchanting circle. “Ulkyssa!”

“I cannot summon him, he comes and goes as he pleases,” Tassik said. “Please, why are you doing this? What have I done to deserve - ”

“You… why did you treat me so well?” Aris tried not to sound sullen. “Why did you keep your family a secret?”

“I did not, Aris,” Tassik said, looking confused. “You never asked.”

“How could you hold my hand like that and pretend that you care?” Humiliation made blood fill her face. “Do you and that woman laugh at me behind my back? Is mocking the Gaian a lot of fun?”

“I do not mock you!” Tassik said. “I’m sorry if I offended you but… There must be a misunderstanding - ”

“No,” Nari said, tears furiously spilling from her eyes. “She thought you a lover! Stupid child.”

“You lied to me,” Aris shouted.

“He never said anything,” Nari said hotly. “Give me baby back. Give him back!”

Tassik said something rapidly to his partner in Yscian as Aris fought with the urge to drive her hand into the now wailing baby in front of her. No, it was her bargaining chip. She can’t let these people get to her.

“Bring Doran here,” she shouted at Tassik who was still trying to calm his partner. “Bring him here right now.”

“I am here, Daughter of Moon.” Smoke roiled out from between the trees, twisting and boiling black and gray in the air until a pair of green gemstones showed. Doran took the shape of a man in front of her and Aris immediately raised the hand not hovering over Tassik’s child and the runes on the forest floor lit up.

“Good. Stay there.”

The ‘face’ on the Part seemed to look around briefly. “I see. Will you return the newborn to his parents now that I am where you want me to be?”

“No.” Aris activated the enchanting circle, vengeance hot in her veins. “Give me your eyes, Part. Both of them. And then I’ll think about giving the brat back to them.”

“I had hoped you would become a savior, not a murderer of infants,” Doran intoned.

“You are not one to judge what I do,” Aris said. “You said it yourself: you’re not even a god.”

“No, I suppose not. Take it, Daughter of Moon. Take my eyes.” Doran, or Heel, leaned forward and offered his ‘face’ to her. “Take my eyes into your solute and pray to your celestial bodies that you do not die.”

Gritting her teeth, she rammed her free hand into the Part’s smoky form and clutched the sharp edges of a rock and pulled as hard as she could. The Part screamed an unholy sound, not unlike the braying of the Unseeing. It was like four or five different voices singing in dissonance. The Munna were beside themselves, shouting and gesturing but none of them dared to step into the glowing enchanting circle. Before any of them had the mind to stop her, Aris reached into the Part’s face again and pulled out his other eye.

The smoky form, now eyeless, staggered back as two rough edged green gemstones lay in the dirt in the middle of the glowing runes. Heart racing, Aris closed her free hand into a fist and the enchantment finished she got up, picked up a rock near the circle, then smashed it unceremoniously over the green gemstone eyes. They shattered into powder and disappeared into the glowing runes.

Then the runes animated like worms and surged towards her. They gathered at her feet and burrowed themselves into her. She felt it immediately, the strange sensation of something attaching itself to her Solute. A clawing pain crept up her neck and she threw her head back and howled in pain as it felt like fingers digging into her eyes.

Something was gouging her own eyes out. Every time she blinked, there was unholy, abnormal pain. Every time she opened her eyes, it hurt even more. Panicking, she tried to switch into Shade form but even when she did, it didn’t help the pain. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

She couldn’t see. She struggled to stand, blindly reaching out to a tree to prop herself up. She blinked and suddenly she could see… spots of light. Like floating lanterns floating in the dark. The vision stuttered and she thought she could see the forest again, but then it flitted away.

Again she saw the spots of light. She noticed one was a strange greenish color and it was rapidly losing light.

“You got what you wanted,” the Part rasped. His voice came from the dying light. Aris realized he must be dying after she took his eyes. The dying light was… the dying solute? She couldn’t think straight, couldn’t see straight. “Let the infant go.”

Pain pain pain pain painpainpainpain. What infant? Gripping her face, Aris could faintly hear the wailing of a baby. That infant. Tassik’s child with Nari. Pain pain pain. Every time she wanted something, she only suffered for it.

Why should anyone else live differently?

She could hear Nari screaming as she went over to the baby, put her hand into Shade form and plunged into the tiny body. It only took an instant and the infant stopped crying.

Why should anyone else be happy?