The Dungeon's Worst Little Mistake

It amazing how fast these rats work.

Susan watches the skylines as buildings and towers of wood are being steadily rebuilt by thousands of rats. Even after everything that had just happened, the riots, the fire, the revolution, and an infestation of Undead that…

Susan looks around again as she chews on a leg of what she assumes is some kind of chicken, her empty plate getting replaced without a word with a fresh one by a rat dressed like a waiter.

What happened to the Undead? Did the rats kill all the zombies after we left the raft? I know I accidently raised a few during the war, but they don't seem to be anywhere…

Susan takes another bite, juices running down her lips, and shrugs as the taste of fresh meat fills her mind with happiness. Why worry about that now? She has a wedding to attend after all.

But they really do work fast. In less than an hour after finishing the war an execution was held where the leaders of the loyalist factions where all beheaded one after the other, their severed heads getting piled up not too far from a big ol' rusty guillotine that was being made to work overtime. The finale of the execution was the massive fat rat, Duke Eugénie, after his entire family was beheaded. Three wives and over thirty children. Not even the youngest daughter was spared and the people cheered with each head that rolled. When the blade came down on the Duke's fat neck last, the poor thing actually got stuck and had to be raised and dropped again a total of three times just to take the man's head off. It was quite the gruesome spectacle to behold.

Of course, it was not his entire family that was executed.

The now Duchess - by process of being the only remaining living member of the family - Isabelle Rat Paresseux de Rarisét is now in charge. Dressed in a silky white dress and holding a scepter, she oversaw everything and got things into motion, personally ordering each execution and listing out all their crimes against the people, Bug standing beside her the entire time dressed like a war hero in full uniform with badges and medals hanging from her chest.

After the execution there was the parade. That had been fun as Susan got to throw candy to cheering children as they were carried through the rebuilding streets on a palanquin. Sure, she ended up eating a good portion of the candy herself, but she made sure to throw plenty to the kids and enjoy watching them scramble to grab as much as they can get their little paws on.

Now, after the parade, situated in a wide-open park before a massive cathedral that Susan doesn't remember being here when they first arrived, is the wedding. Susan is having a great day! And they've only been in this rat city for what… four, five hours tops?

Susan looks down at her fresh plate after finishing her leg and finds an unhealthy-looking pile of battered and fried fish n' chips, all golden brown and lightly salted to perfection. She immediately tosses aside the meatless leg and starts digging into the crispy fish, a servant picking up the discarded bone from the grass and running off to throw it away without a word.

This is nice~

Just standing here in a park, eating some good food under a blue sky, idly watching and listening as other people stand around and talk about this and that. Off to one side some rats are talking about the future of the Dukedom under Isabelle's rule and how, surely, her influence shall spread to the rest of the underworld. Truly, the future is bright! Off in another corner, a soldier missing an ear with bandages cover the side of his head is surrounded by old rats all congratulating him and calling him a war hero. He just blushes and shakes his head as the praises are piled on, 'No, no, I just did it for my family.' he would say, but that would only bring more praise and pats on the back.

All around her, so many conversations are going on, the entire park full of people in a celebratory mood, enjoying good food and drink all around.

Getting a fresh glass of wine from a waiter, Susan decides to wander as she enjoys her food, just milling about the park as a pleasant mid-summer breeze carries a cool wind over the grass and rustles the branches in the trees.

As she wanders, she finds Bug and Duchess Isabelle greeting their guests by the entrance to the cathedral. She could go and join them, but they seem rather busy, what with the hundreds of people all vying for their attention and congratulating them on their soon to be marriage. Susan wisely decides to avoid getting mixed up in all that noise and wanders off further. Surprisingly, despite having fought alongside Bug during the war, none of the rats seem to be giving her much attention. Aside from keeping her plate full of food, of course. Maybe they know that she isn't interested in talking with them and are just being polite?

Regardless, Susan continues her meandering as she enjoys a pleasant day under the sun, the city skylines of skyscrapers off in the distance making for quite the backdrop on this lovely day. Far off, she can hear as a train makes its way along the tracks and heads off into downtown, most likely dropping off plenty of travelers and businessmen from distant cities who will no doubt be hearing about the wedding soon or reading about it in the paper.

Her trek leading her through some woods, Susan eventually stumbles upon a river, stopping as she finds an interesting sight.

Beached on the shore of the river has to be the fattest alligator that she has ever seen in her entire life. Or wait… No, this is a crocodile. An important distinction to make, as it would be quite rude to mislabel this giant beast.

He is rotund, bloated, and looks as if he is having the best day of his life. Laying out on the sand like a fat sausage with his tail in the water, eyes half lidded and looking ready to nap the day away, Susan has stumbled upon Gary.

"Salut Gary, how are you doing?" Susan cheerfully asks before taking another bite of fish.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

He just shifts his massive head a bit to the side, his head alone already dwarfing Susan, and looks down at the little Ghoul. Somewhere in the back of their minds, they both know that they are supposed to be killing each other, but honestly? Why should they bother? Today is just such a good day. It's a wedding after all. Now is a time of peace and celebration!

And besides, Gary has eaten so many rats that even the thought of moving has his belly aching. Instead, he would rather laze here and enjoy the sun for a bit. Let his food digest~

Susan just happily nods, seemingly understanding completely despite no words being shared.

"Excusez-moi..."

With a little grumble from Gary, which is more of a rumble when coming from his massive frame, Susan moves over to his side and sits down, his black and green scales cool against her back.

Huh, black and green. Just like Bug's scales. "Haha~ Such a lovely day…"

Enjoying some fish n' chips, sipping on a glass of wine beside a big ol' buddy, watching the bustling distant city come to life as the birds sing in the trees and the river gently flows by, Susan couldn't be any more relaxed than she is right now.

After a while, maybe an hour maybe longer, Susan doesn't know, she eventually hears some bells in the distance and people calling for everyone to gather.

"Looks like the wedding is starting. Wanna join?"

Gary just responds with another grumble and Susan nods her head in understanding.

"Ah, yeah, hahaha. Okay, you stay here and relax. I'll see if I can bring back a slice of cake afterwards."

Another grumble.

"Hahaha~ Well, that's your fault for eating so much, silly. Alright, I'll see you later. Thanks for letting me relax here. Bonne fin de journée, Mr. Gary!"

With a wave of her hand and another grumble from Gary, Susan walks away from the river and back into the woods, humming a pleasant tune as she follows a little trail beneath the branches of tall trees, sunlight streaming from between their leaves and filling her with warmth.

Behind her, Susan can hear as someone else is humming along with her, but when she stops and turns, she doesn't see anyone there.

"Huh… weird. Must just be the birds. I need to hurry; I don't want to miss out on the cake."

A few more steps, the humming not stopping despite the fact that she had already stopped herself. A thought hits her as she seems to remember something.

Wait, didn't I have a promise to eat some cake already. When…? No, that's right. It was Bug. She said we would have cake later, after we… Huh… Must have been talking about the wedding cake. Was probably just that.

Susan resumes heading towards the cathedral, its stained-glass windows shining in the light of the sun, depicting images of a great many-horned and winged rat, a dragon by any other name, bringing pestilence upon mankind with its every breath. It is a beautiful and truly amazing work of art.

Joining the flow of people entering the building though it's twin oak doors, Susan looks around in wonder at the majestic and intricate masonry, each stone having been clearly a work of dedication and love for the craft. A red carpet runs from the entrance all the way to a raised stage three steps up and further back to an altar and a raised pulpit, where an old rat dressed as a priest is patiently watching over the gathering people with a smile on his wrinkled face. On either side of the pulpit are stands for the choir, nearly four dozen altar boys all gathered and gently humming a hymn as people find their seats and fill the cathedral.

Again, behind Susan, she can hear someone humming along, matching the hymn. But when she turns to look and see who it is, she finds no one but some people trying to find a seat and squeeze past other people's legs.

Who is humming?

Before she tries and investigate further, some servants come over and take her by the hand, pulling to guide her towards the front of the cathedral. One takes her empty plate and glass. Another replaces them with fresh offerings.

She lets them guide her to her designated spot as Bug's bridesmaid, standing on the right side of the pulpit and mirroring Isabelle's own bridesmaid. She doesn't recognize the rat, but they both share an awkward wave anyways as they wait for things to start. Susan decides to just occupy herself with her food.

When she looks down at her new plate, she finds an assortment of cheeses, crackers, and meat. Some lovely finger foods to snack on.

These guys are great. It's cool that they keep giving me a lot of food. Though, I wonder why no one else is eating? Hmm…

"Hm?"

More of that humming. Susan quickly turns around and tries to find the source, but yet again spots no one. Is she just imagining it? Maybe the war had more of an effect on her than she thought… PTSD is a bitch.

She shakes her head and tries to focus. She needs to be here, right now in this moment.

Her best friend is about to get married after all!

…

…

Best friend?

When had she started to think of Bug as her best friend? That doesn't make any sense…

No, I hate Bug. She is a monster. She killed my friends. She killed me and turned me into a Ghoul. She killed my sister and turned her into a… Where is Elaine?

Susan quickly turns around again and is finally able to see the construction of bone that had been standing behind her the entire time, a treasure chest protectively held within a wall of bones. Atop the lid of the chest is a pair of red eyes, looking up at Susan as the sound of humming comes from within.

"Oh, there you are. Thank the Goddess. Were you out playing in the park? It's a good thing you got here in time; the wedding is just about to start. Do you want a snack to, we can probably ask them to bring you something?"

The chest just blinks up at Susan, the lock on the chest unclicking and the lid opening a fraction as a long grey tongue darts out to snatch a rifle and swallow it. Looking at what used to be a pile of guns on the bone spider's back, the number has definitely dwindled. Notedly, the minigun Bug had been using earlier is already missing and presumably eaten.

"Oh, good. You already have snacks. Just make sure to be quiet and not interrupt the wedding, okay? This is Bug's big day after all."

The chest just blinks up at her again, the humming inside not stopping as the rifle is consumed. Susan just smiles and returns to her post as bridesmaid.

Now that I don't have to worry about that, what the heck was up with me and thinking that Bug is my friend? No, that isn't why I am here… OH, that's right! I was going to make fun of her for getting married, that's why I am here! It all makes sense now. Haaaaah… that war must have really gotten to me. My mind is all mixed up and crazy. And the cake we promised to eat, obviously it was the wedding cake, duh!

Susan eats some more cheese and crackers.

Still, to think that she is finally getting married. Thought she would be single forever. I am so never going to let her forget this, hahaha!

Relaxing some more and enjoying more cheese, the cathedral eventually grows quiet as the big moment finally arrives. With the silence of the crowd, the choir begins to pick up, going from a background hum to a full chorus as the altar boys sings their hymn with angelic voices.

The cathedral is warm, the sun shining through the stained-glass windows, the hymn filling Susan's soul with anticipation. Her stomach is full of good food and drink, the rebellion is won, and her family is right behind her on this joyous day. Truly, this is a good day for a wedding.

With the sound of heavy hinges moving, the twin oak doors open and the brides emerge, both dressed to the nines in lovely white dresses of silk and lace, hand in hand as they wave to the adoring crowd watching them walk to the altar.

Susan just smiles and takes a sip of wine.

Yes, today is a good day.