Chapter 28
Sermon
“Well, then, Carol”
“Yes, Mother”
“It’s a sermon from here.”
Ugh.
Probably would, I thought. My mother is kind, but at the same time harsh.
My actions must have been too immature.
“There are a lot of things to pay attention to, but again, there are the most important things to pay attention to”
“… Yes”
“Bite your tongue and die, what are you saying”
My mother stared sharply at me.
I’m scared.
But I guess I’ve done more than that, touching my mother’s harp line.
“I am not behaving as a lady, such as suing myself for death and trying to force myself to pass my own aspirations. Who taught you such things?”
“… that’s what I used to write in the love stories I read”
“That’s a disgusting book. Totally…… so stupid things like approaching your own death on a shield. That’s just what you want to attract their interest in. And what are you saying that a world that is not connected to Master Wilhelm is not worth living?”
“… sorry”
“It’s just not a good story to apologize for. Carol… it’s like you betrayed everyone by chewing your tongue to death.”
“Huh…”
Betrayed.
Me.
Why would they say that?
I just got emotionally flushed and wanted Master Wilhelm to turn around, and that’s how I ran my mouth.
Why does that lead to betrayal?
“Carol, are you saying… that you’re worthless?”
“Wow, I…”
“This mother, Gilliam, Alberto, loves you. You as a human being. My mother is sad when she says that.”
I didn’t think about it.
I was at my own convenience and I couldn’t see around.
Indeed, I only tried to pass my opinion by appealing to Master Wilhelm that I would bite my tongue and die.
But I’m shielding my own death.
At the same time, it even demeans my existential value -.
“also, sorry…… no……”
“Never again imitate your death as imminent as a shield. It’s not how ladies behave, it’s just a painful woman.”
“Ugh…”
Reflect deeply.
What I said mildly denigrated my existential value, betrayed my family, and appeared to be a painful woman.
In a woman like this, Master Wilhelm can’t help but be angry.
“And it’s also a question of why you approached your death as a shield.”
“… I wish it would be so annoying to Mr. Wilhelm…”
“It doesn’t matter how many annoyances you make.”
“Oh no…”
As I said earlier, I’m not sure I’m going to live without bothering people.
So, at least Master Wilhelm will behave annoyingly.
But I want to do everything I can to make sure that Mr. Wilhelm doesn’t bother you.
But my mother shakes her head.
“When you shared your thoughts with Master Wilhelm at the night club, did you say it was annoying?
“… no”
I was just confused.
He told me that he had never seen me like that.
“When you suddenly visited Master Wilhelm, who is in the Knights, did you say it was annoying?
“… no”
At first I was surprised, but you guided the Knights.
You seemed to have some clerkship left, but you took the time for me.
“When you said you wanted to have lunch with us from now on, did you say it was annoying?
“… no”
You were up to me.
I didn’t seem very motivated, but you promised me that you would stay with me without being turned down.
“Did you offer some lunch you made and say it was annoying?
“… no”
You ate it.
You could also tell me what you think.
You said it was delicious, that’s what you said.
“How can you not know that all this is nothing but annoying to Master Wilhelm”
……
Sure, you’re right in retrospect.
In a crowd circle, I suddenly expressed my thoughts and accidentally mouthed them on my cheeks.
You said you were at work, but you took the time to guide the Knights.
You had lunch with me that I don’t usually eat.
All of them, for Master Wilhelm, must have been annoying.
“… but Dear Wilhelm, please excuse me for the inconvenience”
“What’s good about annoying is the privilege of the child. And it is the duty of adults to be bothered. Master Wilhelm is an adult and Carol is a child. That’s why Master Wilhelm accepted everything about Carol.”
“… ugh”
With that in mind, I can only assume that everything I do is already a nuisance to Master Wilhelm.
Never, I don’t want to bother Master Wilhelm.
“I’ll say it again. It doesn’t matter how much trouble you cause.”
“But…”
“But don’t let them worry you”
Ha, and I looked up.
There with the harsh words, but the appearance of a mother smiling gently.
Annoyance and worry.
That seems similar and very different.
“Carol. When you are truly in danger, Master Wilhelm will help you at no cost. Natalia’s attacking me, like I was under the illusion.”
“Hey, why are you telling me that story…”
“Natalia is your dedicated samurai, but we have received all reports”
It’s embarrassing.
It reminds me that I cried because of my mistake and caused Master Wilhelm to worry.
Yes – worried, it is.
I let you worry about me then, Master Wilhelm.
“… ugh”
“Understood? Master Wilhelm will be pleasantly surprised. And you went ahead and protected Carol, didn’t you? Lord Wilhelm will help you if there is a real danger to you.”
“… Yes”
“So how can Master Wilhelm save you if the person who gives you that danger is Carol herself”
Bite your tongue to death – I said, that’s what I said.
That is a word to attract and worry Master Wilhelm.
What’s that word?
I’m more guilty than bothering you…
“Mother…”
“Yes.”
“I… how can I make amends”
I don’t have time to mourn that Master Wilhelm refused me.
I understand my sins.
Then there is nothing else but to act.
“It’s easy.”
But my mother, after all, said the same thing.
“You just have to be a good woman.”
……
After all, it’s too vague to tell.