The Disastrous Life of Saiki

(It's a sunny morning at PK Academy, and everyone is gathered at the school's volleyball court. Hairo ,enthusiasted, has organized a volleyball match. On one side of the court are Kaidou, Teruhashi, Rifuta, and Hairo. On the other side are Nendou, Chiyo, Aiura, and Kobayasu. Meanwhile, Saiki, Toritsuka, and one other observer sit on the sides.)

Hairo (pumping his fist): Alright, team! Let's give it 110%! We're here to win, no excuses!

Kaidou (dramatically): The Dark Reunion is always watching… but they won't defeat me on this court!

Teruhashi (with a perfect smile): I don't know much about volleyball, but I'll do my best!

Rifuta Imu (side-eye Teruhashi): Oh great, she's going to try to steal the spotlight again.

Nendou (on the opposite side, laughing): Let's crush 'em! I'm ready to knock the ball into orbit!

Kobayasu (calmly): I'll take it easy. No need to go all out.

Chiyo (nervous): I hope I don't mess up too badly.

Aiura (stretching): Relax, Chiyo. It's just for fun, after all.

(Meanwhile, Toritsuka is sitting under a tree with Saiki who is relaxed. About Toritsuka,je's clearly not paying attention to the game for normal reasons.)

Toritsuka (grinning): Man, I'm loving this! Volleyball is awesome!

Saiki (thinking): I know exactly why he's enjoying this. He's not interested in the game.

(Toritsuka's eyes move between the girls, especially when they jump for the ball. Every time a girl moves, his mind goes making fantasies that don't belong anywhere near a volleyball court.)

Toritsuka (to himself, smirking): This is the perfect opportunity! I get to see them jumping, their skirts flying up...just a little more and...

Saiki (side-eyeing him, thinking): Toritsuka, you're hopeless. You're not here for the game at all.

(The match begins with Hairo serving the ball. He sends it with full force, sending it going toward Nendou, who, instead of properly hitting it, smashes it with his head.)

Nendou (laughing): This is how you play, right?

Kobayasu (sighing): That's not how volleyball works…

(Toritsuka, still watching the girls, sees Teruhashi jump to save the ball, and his imagination goes into overdrive.)

Toritsuka (thinking): Teruhashi's form is perfect! Look at her jump! Maybe this is my chance to..

Saiki (thinking): I'd stop that fantasy right there if I were you.

(Kaidou, in typical fashion walk, runs to hit the ball but completely misses and tumbles into the sand)

Kaidou (on the ground): Curse them! They've sabotaged my reflexes!

Toritsuka (to Saiki, with a wierd smile): Hey, Saiki, you sure you don't want to play? You could even get to touch them by accident, if you know what I mean.

Saiki (thinking): Not if it means getting involved in your delusions.

(Teruhashi, determined to impress, serves the ball back, and Rifuta immediately jumps to send it back. glaring at Teruhashi the whole time.)

Rifuta Imu (to herself): No way am I letting her steal the spotlight. Saiki's watching!

(Nendou attempts another headbutt to save the ball, and Kobayasu shakes his head in frustration.)

Kobayasu (to himself): This is ridiculous. I didn't come here for this.

(Toritsuka, ignoring the game itself, continues to focus on the jumping. Aiura's serve catches his attention this time, and he almost starts drooling.)

Toritsuka (thinking): Aiura's movements are so fluid! This is too good to be true.

Saiki (thinking): I should've just stayed home.

(After several more points made, Toritsuka notices Rifuta and Teruhashi glaring at each other across the net, silently competing for Saiki's attention. )

Toritsuka : Oh man, this is great! Drama and a show? I need to come to these games more often.

Saiki (thinking): You're the only one here treating this like a different kind of show.

(Toritsuka, now fully absorbed in his inappropriate daydreams,closes his eyes and misses half the game. Meanwhile, Hairo and Kobayasu are desperately trying to maintain some cooperation of teamwork, with Kaidou yelling about conspiracies, and Nendou continuing to headbutt the ball. Chiyo is still too nervous to hit anything.)

Chiyo (panicking): I'm sorry! I didn't mean to mess that up!

Aiura (encouraging): It's fine, Chiyo! Just relax!

(Toritsuka leans back, really statisfied)

Toritsuka: Saiki, this is the best decision I've made all week. Watching this game is like paradise.

Saiki (thinking): Only in your twisted mind, Toritsuka.

(After the game drags on in chaos, Hairo calls for a break. The group takes five, and Toritsuka stretches, grinning ear to ear, already looking forward to the next round.)

Toritsuka: I can't wait for the next set. More action, you know?

Saiki (thinking): This wasn't action. It was a circus.

(Aiura, hearing Toritsuka's comment, raises an eyebrow.)

Aiura: You seemed pretty distracted, Toritsuka. Didn't see you watching the ball much.

Toritsuka (nervously laughing): Uh, yeah, well, you know, I was just… watching the whole atmosphere.

Saiki (thinking): More like you were taking in too much.

(The break ends, and the game resumes. Saiki continues to watch, barely able to tolerate the ongoing mess, while Toritsuka stays fully entertained by the game. As the game nears its end, with no real winner in sight, Toritsuka turns to Saiki.)

Toritsuka: Man, this was a blast! We should do this more often!

Saiki (thinking): Good grief.