The Diary of a Crazy Teenager

Chapter 11: Million miles apart



Alice's heart beat faster as she heard his laugh, Eric. Maybe she was dreaming, maybe this wasn't real?

She was probably asleep. Yes, she definitely was. But as she pinched herself continuously, she realized that she wasn't. She was wide awake.

They hadn't talked in the past 1 month and now, now he decided to call her, but why?

She wanted to go on asking herself questions but soon realized that the call was still ongoing.

"Why are you calling me?"

"Straight to the point I see. I guess I deserve that"

"Indeed"

There was the sound of a heavy breathing on the other side of the line as if he had just ran a marathon.

"I wanted to talk to you"

"And why the sudden urge?"

"Is it a crime to call you?"

No it wasn't but for someone who had not talked to her for a while, it was.

"I have no idea" she said.

"I would have called you earlier" Eric continued.

"But you didn't"

Or didn't want to.

"I lost your number Alice"

"What a perfect excuse, even I wouldn't have thought of that" She said sarcastically.

"I'm serious. I can't just stop talking to you out of the blue"

But you did. Without hesitation.

She closed her eyes as she fought back the tears. He couldn't see her crying but he would still know, it was Eric after all. He seemed to know everything that was going through her mind even when she spoke no words, he still knew.

"And how did you get it, my number?"

"I got it form Alex... "

Now that was new. Why did Alex give him? He knew everything that happened between them.

"...He wasn't so keen on giving me. "

"You don't say" She whispered sarcastically.

"I probably deserve it"

"What a suprise"

"I hurt you"

"Now that's new "

"I'm a jerk"

"You didn't know?"

"Alice!"

"Eric!"

What had she said that was wrong? After all, she was merely agreeing to what he was saying.

"Do you hate me?"

Did she? Quite the contrary. He had hurt her, yes but to hate him? She felt something else and she was pretty sure it wasn't hate. The problem was she didn't know how she felt towards him, not anymore. She used to be so sure about her feelings for him but now, her name sounded strange on his lips.

She wasn't broken but she was hurt. At first, it had been hard but as time passed she learnt to live with it. To acknowledge. What happened between them was a thing of the past, a distant memory.

"I don't know" She said truthfully.

"I wish things didn't have to be like this, sincerely."

"Then why did you leave? Why did you move out of town?"

"It's complicated"

At least he hadn't lied. She would have cut the call if he gave her one of his stupid lies he told everyone. But that didn't make her feel any better, it only made her worse. He didn't trust her, at least not anymore.

"You obviously don't trust me"

"You know that isn't true, I trust you"

"If you did, you'd tell me"

"I can't " Eric whispered.

"Or you won't"

"You have your secrets too Alice, secrets you refuse to share with me" Eric pointed out accusingly.

"That why it's called a secret Eric. No one is supposed to know "

"Well, then this is my secret."

"You know why I can't tell you, I just can't talk about it...you know it. But everything else about me, you know but I know next to nothing about what's going on, what you're hiding from me"

"I want to tell you, I really do"

"Then tell me" She pleaded desperately, an action she'd live to regret once she got back to her senses but now-

"I can't"

"What's stopping you?"

He paused for some time and whispered a single word that shattered every hope she had for him.

"Everything"

"Fine. Don't tell me, not like I care. I don't care"

Not anymore.

"You're lying"

"No I'm not. I don't say things I don't mean. You might as well go to the ends of the earth, I won't care. I won't bat a lash"

"But I will. You mean something to me..."

"Stop" She said desperately. She didn't want him to say anything. She wanted him to stop talking.

"I care about you... "

Liar. Liar. Liar.

"Stop, please" She didn't want to hope for something that wasn't going to happen. He had his life to live and she had hers. They needed to end things, for good.

"I'll always remember you. The girl that bruised my ribs to take back her chocolate "

At this point, she didn't hold back the tears and they fell in torrents down her check.

"The girl who punched me in the face so often that at some point, I stopped feeling the pain."

She could hear him crying too as he spoke, what an irony.

"The girl who put a fake snake in her brother's wardrobe"

That was epic.

"The girl who literally stole my breath away with just one kiss."

"I refused to kiss you again"

"Yes, you did"

They both kept quiet, no one saying a single word. But words didn't need to be said, the silence spoke louder than words.

"I don't hate you" She whispered after sometime.

"I know you don't"

"But you can't just come back like that and expect us to be friends or start dating again"

"I keep forgetting we broke up"

"The point is the distance is much, there a huge possibility that we might never see each other again, and lastly you'd let go of this puppy love and find someone else. After all, you'll be going to college next year and I'll be entering junior high."

"Why do you always have to state facts"

"We just can't keep doing this Eric. It can't work, we have to let go of this. This stupid wish."

"Yes, it's time to move on"

"So I guess this is it? This is a goodbye?"

"Not a goodbye, more like till we meet again. "

"Till we meet again" She muttered. This was it and she knew it. It was finally time to let go of the past including him, no matter how much it hurt.

"Just don't forget me Eric."

He chuckled at her words. "How can one forget their first love?"

"It's possible"

"Alice... "

"Yes?"

"I'll never forget you, even if we're a million miles apart. Bambi"

***

Alice quickly wiped her tears when she heard the knock on her door. She tried to compose herself as she looked up to see who had interrupted her crying session.

"Come in" She said in a steady voice, or at least she tried.

The door opened to reveal a tall man wearing a joggers and who's eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Hi daddy"

"Hey pumpkin. I was checking if everyone was asleep since your mother's snore woke me up. Don't tell her I said that "

Alice laughed lightly as she watched him close her door and sit on the table.

"I won't"

Her dad picked up a picture and looked at it before dropping it on the table and looking at his daughter intensely.

"I was going to ask why you're awake but it seems you're rather preoccupied..." His voice trailing off.

"Oh, I'm not doing anything "

"Really? Your eyes says otherwise "

"I was just playing a game. Staring at an object for too long and then, bam"

Gesturing to her face "this happened."

"Well that's a unique game"

"It's really fun"

"Indeed"

Now she knew where she got that from.

Her dad looked at her for some time, analysing the situation with calculating eyes.

Please don't ask, I beg you.

"I think that's enough game for one night don't you think?"

"Yes, yes it is"

Anything to make him not ask questions.

He nodded his head thoughtfully as he looked at her one more time. After some time, he stood up and strode to the door, and then stopped.

"I'd advice you to go to bed. After all, we have a day tomorrow. I don't want you to be tired after your, game. Goodnight pumpkin" He said before shutting the door.

Alice smiled as she looked at the closed door. Maybe, just maybe things were not going to be so bad afterall. Maybe everything will be just fine.

Alice picked up her phone and speed dialed Veronica.

After the second beep, a rustling sound could be heard before she spoke.

"Hey Ronnie."

"Hey babes. Did you miss me that much?"

Alice chuckled at her friend's humor. "Yes I did"

There was a pause on the other side of the line for some moments, causing Alice to wonder if Veronica had cut the call.

"Ronnie, you aren't saying anything?"

"I was waiting for you to talk "

"Waiting?" Alice was confused.

"Something is definitely wrong with you and I'm not talking about the fact you admitted missing me, I'm talking about how you sound."

Ronnie's words, caused her to smile. Trust her best friend to always know when something is up.

"You're right Ronnie I'm not okay"

"Oh sweetie, I wish I could give you a hug. Do you want to talk about it?"

Alice nodded as though Veronica could actually see her. "You see, Eric called me and all and he sounded all... Well... Sweet. I feel weird Ron, like I'm not okay... My chest hurts..." Alice paused in between her statements and fought back the tears

"What did he say?" Ron asked

"Well that he misses me and he's sorry."

"How do you feel?"

"In pain?" Alice chuckled at the irony. She that had prided herself with having a heart of stone, how the mighty had fallen.

"It's expected. I want you to take deep breaths and left it all out. Cry if you must, scream if you must. Hell, you could even smash something!"

Alice, released a hearty laugh

"... My point is..." Ron continued "you have the right to feel howsoever you want. Whether you choose to hate him or not, I'll support you. I could even form a hate club?" She said jokingly.

"You're so sweet Ron"

"You just realized it? Don't worry your pretty head for him, no one, not even me, is worthy of your pain. I want you to remember that okay?"

Alice, smiled genuinely at her words of comfort. "Okay"

"Now, go to bed and I mean sleep not have a crying session..."

"Yes ma'am"

"I'm serious Ali boo. We have a big day tomorrow. Our audition and the chance that this would change our poor lives forever."

"I agree! I can't afford to feel sad."

"Now that's the spirit. Remember I love you and I'm here for you. Everyone is her for you, okay?"

"Okay" Alice, removed the phone from her ear and cut the call after some seconds.

She smiled and made up her mind that she was not going to think about anything which was unnecessary, not even him. She had so much ahead of her and getting stuck in the past was not going through do anything important in her life.

Alice, laid on her bed and closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, she dreamt about a world where all her wishes could come true.

***


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