The Butcher of Gadobhra

Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...
Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...
Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...   Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...
More Beer!!!!
Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...
Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...Dungeon!...

Ozzy was doing his best to ignore the two dozen drunken adventurers sitting in the basement of the tavern demanding to be let into the dungeon. He was just as glad to be out of it. He was applying all of his attention to a pile of food in front of him. Aleister had told him the best way to recover from the massive life drain he'd been hit with was a lot of food and rest. Food came first since he didn't trust this crowd and Suzette might need help.

It had been sort of fun to come back from their little adventure and find all those excited people shouting questions and wanting to know about their adventure

He'd just pointed at Zephyr and said "Speak to our fearless leader." She was sitting on top of the loot chest giving a blow-by-blow account of all the fights. Someone had given her a glass of ale 'for the pain'. She'd feel it in the morning, but for now, the young girl was having a great time.

Aleister was sitting on a nearby barrel enjoying a beer and now and then glaring at one of the younger men who made inappropriate comments. He estimated his daughter had another half hour until the beer hit her and he'd have to pack her home.

Billy had come down, followed by Vern. Vern just looked happy, but Billy obviously wanted to talk. He kept looking back and forth between Ozzy and Suzette and trying to get their attention. Suzette yelled to Ozzy to keep things together down here and retreated upstairs with Billy, Layla, and a gentleman wearing a derby in tow.

Sir Timothy was way too excited, bouncing around like an overstimulated puppy. He started talking about a full raid to take out the Under-Rodent. His crew had tried to immediately enter the dungeon, only to find they needed to be given access by the dungeon's controller. This sent Timmy running upstairs looking for Suzette.

Things were quiet upstairs, the constant yelling from below just a muffled echo. Ben hurried to clear one of the larger tables of empty glasses and spilled beer. Suzette grabbed a seat on one side. Bill, Vern, and Layla on the other while the man from Blud sat at the bar, watching and listening.

Vern immediately started the conversation. "Excellent job young lady on securing that asset for ACME. Billy told me he had a real crackerjack group of people, but I'm astounded at how fast things are moving. First, this ruined city, and now a dungeon? Damned fine job." He gave Billy a sideways glance, " And I'm surprised at how good he's gotten at keeping secrets from me. Want to explain that Billy?"

Billy turned to Vern and shrugged. "Well, you know how it is Vern. I hate to disappoint you. I see everyone else promise the moon and underdeliver. I'd rather not waste your time. Dungeons are tricky things. I knew we had it in the pipeline, but not the exact timing. I'd rather brag after the fact than before. Plus, I've got Famco running around the area. A couple of dozens of them right downstairs, as a matter of fact. I couldn't let them get a chance of stealing the dungeon when it showed up, somewhere in the town."

"But I'll echo your sentiment Vern, Suzette is doing an excellent job. I'll mention to Derek that you should be getting a cut of this operation. Sort of a bonus for delivering on the dungeon." Billy was quite happy with Suzette. Rather than contradicting him, she just went along with his story, nodding her head.

Suzette smiled innocently. "Thank you, Billy, I'm just glad that our plans are working out so well. Some bad news though, Derek took off today to get married. He won't be coming back. Don't worry though, Layla helped me out with the problems. That little talk of ours set me straight and made me see things correctly. "

Billy looked from Suzette to Layla. Layla had a soured look on her face. Also, a lot of big lumps from bug bites. He remembered Layla tearing into Suzette just before she stepped on a hornet's nest or whatever she had done. "Layla helped you?"

"She certainly did. It was the perfect solution. She suggested I not worry about Derek, and that I should buy the Tavern myself. "

Layla looked ready to burst. "I said Derek needed to find a sucker to buy the tavern if he wanted out, I didn't mean you!"

Suzette just smiled at her. "Oh, well, after your other comments, I figured that 'sucker' referred to me as well. My bad. But the deal is done. I own Derek's half of the tavern." She pushed forward the deed of sale for Billy to look at.

Billy squinted at it. The letters were too big. He was used to contracts with much finer print. "Yeah, it looks like you did. And you are up to your pointed ears in debt too. You owe Derek a monthly payment. This complicates things. You work for ACME, and ACME owns the other half of the Tavern. "

Suzette shook her head. "Nope, not complicated at all. You told me you were happy with my work and that I was practically running the tavern. You also said you only cared about making sure all the workers got fed, and that ACME got its 20% cut of the food and beverage sales. I can do all of that. I work for ACME ten hours a day, six days a week as a barmaid. The rest of the time I'm working as Suzette the Tavern Keeper. I don't need much sleep, remember? I'm betting I can increase ACME's profits from the tavern, and make those payments to Derek. Unless I default on that, I think I'm in the clear. This is ACME, we don't fail, remember? You and Layla have given me sound advice on how I should conduct business."

Layla was furious. "Don't let her get away with that Billy. How the hell is she going to make that much money."

Suzette reached over and patted Layla's head. "Don't worry about it, 'Honey', after all, I can always just flirt for attention and make extra tips. Wasn't that your suggestion? I have to point out though that it wasn't my ass on display this afternoon. The boys did appreciate your shake though."

Layla tried to stand and dive across the table. Billy held her back, barely. He managed to get one hand on her mouth to muffle her screams and lock her arm behind her. "Uh, Vern? I'm going to get Layla back to her hut. I think she's a little out of sorts and needs to lie down."

Vern kept his eyes on Suzette but nodded. "You do that Billy. You two have a nice evening. I need to work out a few things with our new partner."

Suzette offered helpful advice, "Make sure she shakes out her bedding first."

When the noise had died down again, Vern set his beer aside. So did Suzette.

"Alright, young lady, it's obvious you've engineered quite a deal for yourself. I can see for myself Billy has been tutoring you and you've taken his lessons to heart. If you work for ACME, you grab for the brass ring and you seem to have three of them in your dainty hands right now. What is the deal with the dungeon? Someone said down there that you were in control. But ACME got credit for it. I got the system announcement."

Suzette acknowledged that. "ACME got credit for it because I work for ACME. But the reason I could claim the dungeon was my half ownership in the tavern and I agreed to be personally responsible for it. That thing has to be managed. Too many people going in can cause problems. and bosses won't spawn. Too few and it overflows and the whole area goes to shit. Bad for long-term property values. And I get hit with some hideous penalty. So, part of my job is also managing the groups that go in, and collecting the fees."

Vern liked collecting fees, they could be a constant stream of cash if managed correctly. "Ah, let's talk about that. Dungeon fees. That can be a nice revenue stream. In the last game, ACME had dozens of dungeons. We charged fees, collected magic items, or both. Very profitable. I assume you want a cut?"

Suzette had a puzzled look on her face. "A cut? Of what Vern? ACME gets 20% of the food and beverages sold. That's the contract. I don't see anything about dungeon fees. My dungeon, my fees."

"WHAT!"

Suzette looked at him with a mock serious look on her face. "You signed a contract. If you didn't like what it said, you should have gotten a better contract."

"BALDERDASH"

Suzette just smiled innocently. "Billy taught me that yesterday. He's so smart. And Thaddeus has been teaching me about copyrights and sponsorships. It's been an interesting day. "

"Sponsorship? What sponsorship?"

"The Bludgeon Beer sponsorship deal that Mr. Walgird and I worked out. Isn't that right Mr. Walgird?" Suzette nodded her head towards the dapper patron sipping beer at the bar and talking with Ben. The man spun around on his bar stool, and walked over."

"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Throckmorton. I'm Thaddeus Walgird from Bludcorp and an official quality expert for Bludgeon Brew. What your lovely barmaid has said is essentially true. We have a unique sponsorship deal worked out that I think will be profitable for all parties involved including ACME."

Uncle Vern was feeling less and less in control of the situation, but the bottom line was the bottom line. "Alright, enough fun and games. Tell me how ACME profits or I'll have a bushel of lawyers here by morning."

Suzette was done having her fun. Enough bear-baiting for now. If she rolled over too quickly, she'd have had to keep rolling. Putting up a fight and holding her ground gave her more leverage. She'd dealt with some of the Verns and Billys before. You couldn't let them think they were in total control, or they rolled right over you. But she couldn't get away from the fact that while she had some points on her side, she still worked for ACME and her body was lying in a tank in an ACME facility. It was time to cut a deal while she held some aces.

"Here's my proposal. I'm in charge of running our tavern. The old deal stands. ACME gets its 20% and we take care of feeding the local workers. But I want a cap on that. You can't run 200 people through here and expect me to stay profitable. There are fifty workers in Sedgewick at the moment, and we can cover that. After 50 I start charging Billy basic costs of food and it comes out of your cut of the profits."

"I'm fine with that. What about the beer?

"The agreement with Bludgeon has several parts. They get advertising on all public dungeon announcements. Any group that enters and does streaming or vidcasting gives them the normal amount of advertising but doesn't charge Bludgeon Brew for it. Nor do I get a kickback from letting them stream."

"The tavern continues to sell Blud Dark and I can experiment with new recipes, as long as I don't say they are official until Mr. Walgird approves them. ACME gets all profits from the brewery."

"Billy is building a brewery?" Vern hadn't heard him mention that.

Thaddeus spoke up. "Yes, I'd like ACME to build a brewery in this location. I think we can start with 100 kegs of Blud Dark a week and ramp up production as needed. ACME supplies the workers; we buy all the Blud we need for the Northern Dutchy from you. If we need breweries in the other Dutchies, ACME can set those up as well and I will pay you to train brewers. Budgeon Brew has an established network of taverns and I've convinced my bosses that we should expand on that to make our ingame operations turn a profit as well as giving us advertising. I'll have the paperwork ready for you by tomorrow morning. Does that meet your approval, sir?"

More money always met with Uncle Vern's approval. "Run it over tomorrow, Billy can approve it and I'll pitch it to the board. But that seems like a good deal to me." Beer was cheap to make. Transportation was a pain since teleportation was expensive. But that just pointed out the need for more and better roads. More roads meant more building points.

Thaddeus tipped his hat to them. "I will run along then and get to work. Good night to you Mr. Throckmorton."

He shook the Barmaid's hand warmly. "Suzette, wonderful working with you. I'm anxious to taste your next batch when it's brewed up."

After Thaddeus had left, the final round started. Vernon was feeling better about things now. "So, I haven't lost anything as far as the tavern goes, and I have a new revenue stream from the brewery. But that's chicken feed compared to a dungeon. "

Suzette conceded that. "Could be, and that's why I moved quickly to claim it. Leaving it unclaimed was just asking for trouble. Here's my proposal. There will be fees charged to the groups entering the dungeon. We split the gold down the middle between myself and ACME. We flip a coin for who gets the first magic item we collect and alternate from there."

Vern shook his head. "Not good enough. The board won't let me sign a contract like that. You aren't an equal partner. ACME will have to defend this area, which can cost a lot. And how do we get magic items out of it?"

"Two ways." Suzette showed him the proposed contract for adventuring groups. "We charge every group a fee of 1 gold a person. Any group that doesn't want to pay the fee can instead give me the first pick of any of the magic items that the group gets. I'll know what they get because I'll be in the group. Not in the dungeon, but in the group with access to the logs. That means I also get to open every loot chest they earn for my share. The dungeon lets me do this automatically."

"I like the idea. But I hate the cut. Acme gets 90%, you get 10%."

"Bullshit. Not good enough. The responsibility for the dungeon is on me. I don't even know what the penalty is for it overflowing, but we know it's bad enough that I know you or Billy don't want it on your shoulders. If ACME is taking the lion's share of the profits, then ACME can take responsibility for the dungeon, and forfeit a ton of Building Points when something goes wrong. I'm doing ACME a service by being personally responsible and acting as a buffer between ACME and a disaster. If building a road earns points, what do you think the destruction of the town would do to your bottom line?"

That shot hit Uncle Vern solidly. Vernon did not want to be responsible, and that's who the Board would put in Suzette's place. The System, or WALLY, or whoever was running this game didn't make threats, he made promises. She was right, If building a road gained ACME building points, letting their dungeon overflow and destroy the town would surely lose them points. Or worse.

"A valid point. You have to make sure the Dungeon is cared for; I have to make sure you have some security here in Sedgewick. I'll go 75%/25%. But ACME gets the first three items we take in. I'll also want to see weekly and monthly accounting and the ability to audit dungeon logs."

"Not good enough. You should be protecting the town in the first place, and that big city to the North. This doesn't add anything new to your costs. I'll give you two out of three items and two-thirds of the entry fees, but I'll let you keep the first three items as a bonus, and I'll take the next one. Then two for you, one for me after that." She knew she could make money and didn't mind ACME checking up on her. Even expected it. "But, I also assume that you'll want to send in ACME-sponsored teams of adventurers? I'm ok with one dungeon delve a week from our sponsored team, with no fee and ACME keeps all the loot as long as they don't wipe out. If the dungeon gets a TPK, then I get any items they earned before that."

Vern chewed this over. If he got the right people, that one delve per week could clear out every boss and loot chest in the place. They'd done that in EOQ1. Very profitable. Billy would just have to hire some adventurers and keep them happy. "Alright, I think we have a deal that works for both of us. There will be small details to work out, but I'm sure Billy can handle them. Anything else? You have a paladin anxious to get access for his rowdy horde. Let's take his money and get things rolling." Vern liked quick profits. ACME would be getting money any time groups went in, and 5 groups were ready to go.

Suzette shook Vern's hand. "Yeah, one last thing. I work for Billy, and Billy works for you. I'm not taking orders from Layla. If that bitch gets in my face she's heading to respawn after a painful death."

Vern laughed. "That might do her some good. Layla thrives on competition. I'm ok with that. Meet with Billy at 6 am. He'll have contracts ready, but I think you and I have a deal. Let's make a lot of money together."

As Vern walked out, Suzette yelled to Timmy. "YO! Sir Timothy! Are you ready to go dungeon diving? Just sign here, and hand me 25 gold pieces. The fee is one gold per person per entry. If you can't make that much back from a dungeon, you aren't half the Paladin I think you are."